Re: my kid's response and Dad's (unblelief, belittling, abandonement) HELP! anyone

[Guest guest]

Dear

You have been through so much. And you have persevered! I think

you are alot stronger than you realize. You have been hurt so much

and sometimes we turn that hurt back on ourselves and do things to

hurt ourselves---like your way of trying to lose weight. It is like

you are saying to yourself " if they don't care about me then I don't

care about me either. " You have to love yourself and care about

yourself more than that! YOu already know God loves you heavy or

not, and He cares for you. Just keep focusing on that and forget

about your family's hurtful ways right now. You are not strong

enough to deal with that. You need to put yourself first---getting

well and getting strong. When you are strong enough emotionally and

physically to deal with your loved ones and the painful

relationships you have with them, you will know it. God will help

you there too. He will provide a way to restore your lost

relationships. I know it hurts. It hurts alot. More than words

can adequately express. It often seems that those who should

support us the most, are there the least for us. When my husband

died suddenly, I joined a grief support group. I found it was very

common ---myself included--for those who were widowed to feel the

least understanding and support from their own families! We felt

that total strangers cared more. It hurts so much when people whom

you love dearly are not there for you. But as I healed and time

passed, I have found myself forgiving them and letting go of those

times so I can move forward. The same withthe implants. My mom and

sisters think first of all---that I was never as sick as I was.

Secondly they refuse to believe it was the implants. We just don't

talk about it. There is no support. This is very common. That is

why there are support groups like this---we have walked at least

partway in your shoes, and we do understand your pain. God has

provided this group to help where your family could or would not.

Surely that is a blessing! Please try to eat better! there is alot

of info about healthy diets. You are really sabotaging getting well

when you abuse your body by not eating for days on end. Your body

is like a car. It constantly needs fuel to run. Your body is a

temple. Love yourself and love your body because is sustains your

life here on earth. I know it would be hard to stop all bad habits

cold turkey--going slow is better than not at all.Just keep taking

steps in the right direction. Loving yourself enough to be kind to

your body and giving it what it needs to get well. You are on the

right path. Your family may never give you what you need

emotionally. Sometimes we have to just accept that. But right now,

don't even let yourself think about it. It will just eat away at

you. I know. When my husband died, there were times I just

pretended he was away (in my mind--not to others) because I couldn't

deal with the pain. Sometimes I pretended I was sick with the flu

and went to bed and watched tv and ate chicken noodle soup for a day

or two.

Somehow, pretending I was sick, gave me permission to quit feeling

the pain of his death and my radically changed life for a short

while. If I hadn't had the outlet of my grief support group, or the

mind games I occasionally played, I wouldn't have coped at all. So

right now, you need to protect your emotions and heart too---don't

let yourself focus at all on your family. Just tell yourself what

you need to hear to get you well again. And when that day comes,

then you can feel the hurt with your family and deal with it when

you

are stronger. I will keep you in my prayers.

God's blessings to you, \

kathy