can't stop crying

[Guest guest]

Neena,

Hi and welcome. I am really sorry you are in this situation and I can certainly understand your fear and wanting to cry about this mess you are in, and we all want to help you in any way we can. First of all I wanted to ask you about your health, since you didn't say anything about it in your letter. Do you have any symptoms of illness?

We have recommended the Drs. we have because we know they are knowledgeable about breast implant removal and how to do it properly and completely. Unfortunately, we have found many, many plastic surgeons and other doctors will try to talk a woman out of explant, try to convince her that her illness is not from her implants, are ignorant of proper removal procedures, they have been insulting, crass, rude, lacking compassion, and downright ugly to women who are desperate for help. To avoid that kind of experience, we have had to stick with recommending those doctors we know who are understanding of our illnesses and fears, and can treat us with the compassion we deserve.

We do have a whole list of doctors around the country, and there are some doctors in your area. I have to tell you, however, that some of the girls here have reported that these doctors have tried to talk them out of removing the implants. You can go ahead and consult with them if you desire, but please, do get back with us about your experience. There are some women from New York and New Jersey on our group. I hope you hear from them. In addition, Eileen Swanson of SOSalines is in New Jersey and has a wonderful website--even though hers are saline, she is very knowledgeable about all implant related illness. Here is her site:

http://hometown.aol.com/sosalines/sos.htm

Here are the New York doctors on our list:

NEW YORK

DR. CHRISTINA AHN, MD, FACS, Plastic SurgeonNYU Medical Center, 550 First Avenue,

NY, NY 100161-212-717-8860

email:christina.ahn@...

http://www.docnet.org/physicians/phys_bios.asp?phys_id=1073

In 1992, Dr Ahn was one of the first physicians to investigate and determine silcone implant rupture using MRI to help patients with implant related problems. Dr. Ahn is a leading international Reconstructive Surgeon in the field of breast and cosmetic surgery.Dr. Ahn's website: http://www.breastconstructions.com. NOTE: It has been reported that Dr. Ahn was not willing to admit that implants cause illness, and she may talk you into keeping your implants even when you are very ill. However, it does appear she is capable of doing a total capsulectomy.

additional address listing for Dr. Ahn:Dr. Ahn150 East 77th StreetNY, NY 100211-212-717-8860

DR. MICHELLE COPELAND MD

1001 Fifth Ave, New York, NY 10028

212-452-2200

http://www.drcopeland.com/Contact Mare: Angelwork8@...

I hope this is helpful to you! You will be in good hands....don't fear the future, because there are answers to these problems.

Patty

----- Original Message -----

From: neena468

Sent: Tuesday, November 25, 2003 4:57 PM

Subject: can't stop crying

I feel so empty and scared, I can't stop crying, almost non-stop for two weeks- I have silicone implants, one is ruptured, I want to get them out- when i got them in 13 yrs ago they told me they would last a lifetime, then 3 yrs later when i wanted to get them removed every surgeon said " leave well enough alone" they can rupture when removed-now years later i do have a rupture and i don't know how long it has been like this (excuse me if my writing is not percise i am crying like a baby) the sites i've been on recommend dr. feng, i want to believe everyone and believe she is great but i am so sceptacle and don't know why only Drs feng, melmad and kolb are the only ones that keep coming up- i live in the new york/new jersey area and can not believe there is not anyone recommending any there also why no one on these forums seems to be from new york or new jersey, aside from california , ny/nj has to have the most implanted women on the planet, please someone help me to calm down please

[Guest guest]

--- In , " neena468 " <neena468@y...>

wrote:

carrie i finally was able to log on, thanks for everything

> I feel so empty and scared, I can't stop crying, almost non-stop

for

> two weeks- I have silicone implants, one is ruptured, I want to

get

> them out- when i got them in 13 yrs ago they told me they would

last

> a lifetime, then 3 yrs later when i wanted to get them removed

every

> surgeon said " leave well enough alone " they can rupture when

removed-

> now years later i do have a rupture and i don't know how long it

has

> been like this (excuse me if my writing is not percise i am crying

> like a baby) the sites i've been on recommend dr. feng, i want to

> believe everyone and believe she is great but i am so sceptacle and

> don't know why only Drs feng, melmad and kolb are the only ones

that

> keep coming up- i live in the new york/new jersey area and can not

> believe there is not anyone recommending any there also why no one

on

> these forums seems to be from new york or new jersey, aside from

> california , ny/nj has to have the most implanted women on the

> planet, please someone help me to calm down please

[Guest guest]

Patty, thank you so much for responding so quickly, I will check out

the website you told me about- i don't have a problem going to Ohio

or Atlanta, my husband will even go with me, i was concerned if i had

complications, and also i hope you can understand how odd i think it

is not being able to find people or surgeons from NY or NJ. you

asked what my illnesses are- it started two yrs after implantation,

my lymph nodes in my neck became swollen, had surgery they thought i

had hotchkins disease, the tested lymph node was tested and i didn't

have hotchikins (that was great news) i get severe headaches,

migraines whatever, but nothing makes them go away they last between

6 to 15 hours almost every day to every other day- i have severe

pain in my feet and legs, sometimes i can't walk i had to stop

working even one day a week was killing me my blood tests have all

been coming out abnormal, they have no idea what is wrong, or course

no one will admit silicone may have anything to do with it- i begged

a doctor to give me a prescription for an MRI had it done 2 wks ago

and sure enough it came back that my left implant is ruptured, my

world was already pretty much turned upside down from not feeling

well, but now i have pretty much had all i can take this has broken

me for 2 wks i have been on the internet day and nite, crying and

crying hardly any sleep my doc just prescribed clonapin but i

haven't taken it because i know i need to stay awake and find out all

i can- hearing from you really made me a little happy thank you

> Neena,

> Hi and welcome. I am really sorry you are in this situation and I

can certainly understand your fear and wanting to cry about this mess

you are in, and we all want to help you in any way we can. First of

all I wanted to ask you about your health, since you didn't say

anything about it in your letter. Do you have any symptoms of

illness?

>

> We have recommended the Drs. we have because we know they are

knowledgeable about breast implant removal and how to do it properly

and completely. Unfortunately, we have found many, many plastic

surgeons and other doctors will try to talk a woman out of explant,

try to convince her that her illness is not from her implants, are

ignorant of proper removal procedures, they have been insulting,

crass, rude, lacking compassion, and downright ugly to women who are

desperate for help. To avoid that kind of experience, we have had to

stick with recommending those doctors we know who are understanding

of our illnesses and fears, and can treat us with the compassion we

deserve.

>

> We do have a whole list of doctors around the country, and there

are some doctors in your area. I have to tell you, however, that

some of the girls here have reported that these doctors have tried to

talk them out of removing the implants. You can go ahead and consult

with them if you desire, but please, do get back with us about your

experience. There are some women from New York and New Jersey on our

group. I hope you hear from them. In addition, Eileen Swanson of

SOSalines is in New Jersey and has a wonderful website--even though

hers are saline, she is very knowledgeable about all implant related

illness. Here is her site:

> http://hometown.aol.com/sosalines/sos.htm

>

> Here are the New York doctors on our list:

>

> NEW YORK

> DR. CHRISTINA AHN, MD, FACS, Plastic Surgeon

> NYU Medical Center, 550 First Avenue,

> NY, NY 10016

> 1-212-717-8860

> email:christina.ahn@m...

> http://www.docnet.org/physicians/phys_bios.asp?phys_id=1073

> In 1992, Dr Ahn was one of the first physicians to investigate and

determine silcone implant rupture using MRI to help patients with

implant related problems. Dr. Ahn is a leading international

Reconstructive Surgeon in the field of breast and cosmetic

surgery.Dr. Ahn's website: http://www.breastconstructions.com.

NOTE: It has been reported that Dr. Ahn was not willing to admit

that implants cause illness, and she may talk you into keeping your

implants even when you are very ill. However, it does appear she is

capable of doing a total capsulectomy.

> additional address listing for Dr. Ahn:

> Dr. Ahn

> 150 East 77th Street

> NY, NY 10021

> 1-212-717-8860

>

> DR. MICHELLE COPELAND MD

> 1001 Fifth Ave, New York, NY 10028

> 212-452-2200

> http://www.drcopeland.com/

> Contact Mare: Angelwork8@a...

>

>

> I hope this is helpful to you! You will be in good hands....don't

fear the future, because there are answers to these problems.

> Patty

>

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: neena468

>

> Sent: Tuesday, November 25, 2003 4:57 PM

> Subject: can't stop crying

>

>

> I feel so empty and scared, I can't stop crying, almost non-stop

for

> two weeks- I have silicone implants, one is ruptured, I want to

get

> them out- when i got them in 13 yrs ago they told me they would

last

> a lifetime, then 3 yrs later when i wanted to get them removed

every

> surgeon said " leave well enough alone " they can rupture when

removed-

> now years later i do have a rupture and i don't know how long it

has

> been like this (excuse me if my writing is not percise i am

crying

> like a baby) the sites i've been on recommend dr. feng, i want to

> believe everyone and believe she is great but i am so sceptacle

and

> don't know why only Drs feng, melmad and kolb are the only ones

that

> keep coming up- i live in the new york/new jersey area and can

not

> believe there is not anyone recommending any there also why no

one on

> these forums seems to be from new york or new jersey, aside from

> california , ny/nj has to have the most implanted women on the

> planet, please someone help me to calm down please

[Guest guest]

I am glad we connected and that you were able to get on here finally.

First of all don't feel bad that your crying, you have every right to

be. You were lied to and treated like crap, and this is the problem

with the vast majority of Dr's out there. that is why there is this

list that is circulating amongst the explant type sites with certain

Dr's on it. Because through allot of womens good and bad experiences

they helped to compile a list of Dr's whom we can not only trust with

our delicate situation, but who believe in us and will do the proper

type of explant. You have a ruptured implant and the other could go

at any time also, I am sure after so long. An inexperienced Dr or one

who does not believe silicone can be harmful will not take the time

to remove the contents the way they should be, en bloc, and with

complete capsulectomy. It is not just because they don't have the

skill, it is also a combination of patience and concern that many of

them lack. The ones who really feel silicone is safe, see no reason

to be cautious removing them, they see no reason to remove the scar

capsule, but we know, because of so many of our experiences with

this, that those who do not get total capsulectomy often times will

never get better, and remain ill forever. When it comes to something

this serious it is better to be safe than sorry and I think that was

most of our feelings regarding this and why so many of us did travel

long distances to remove our implants. I mean I lived in Ca at the

time and there was just no way I was gonna trust a man to operate on

me that did not believe the implants were making me sick. To me that

was very important. You don't mention illness, but I am asuming that

you have some kind of health issues. For me I knew Dr Feng was the

best and by far had the most experience in numbers of explanting

women. To me, working in the medical field I know how important it is

to go with someone with tons of experience. She also uses specialized

tools that many don't use, smaller scalpels and thinner disolving

sutures so that her scars are amazing, and much finer and thinner

than most oither PS's. When I was looking around I wanted someone

closer to home too, but finally I just decided that it was not worth

it to risk not having it done right.

You can try to find someone on your own, try to go to differenct

consults, and take the chance, I mean I have heard happy women out

there that did that, but again many of them were not ill and did not

have a rupture to deal with. Dr Feng in my opinion is by far superior

at this than any other sugeon, she does not believe implants are safe

and she most def does not have them herself. No one in her office has

implants. That speaks volumes to me. Again this stuff may not matter

to anyone else but it did to me.

It is tough but travel can be ok, I actually had some fun in

Cleveland and the experience of having such a warm caring Dr and

wonderful staff made the price worth every penny of it. It was a

fantastic experience and when it was over I could rest assured

knowing that not only was all that toxic crap out of my body but that

I had the best possible outcome with my scaring. If you go to the

photo section you can see my updated pics and I think they look

really good. Yes I am tiny but I am not deformed at all.

Well, I am sorry I don't have more info for you on local Dr's. I was

up against the same thing, I also did not want a man operating on my

breasts either, so that just sinched it for me. I went to Feng and I

am very very pleased,

good luck and stay in touch

In , " neena468 " <neena468@y...> wrote:

>

>

> carrie i finally was able to log on, thanks for everything

>

> > I feel so empty and scared, I can't stop crying, almost non-stop

> for

> > two weeks- I have silicone implants, one is ruptured, I want to

> get

> > them out- when i got them in 13 yrs ago they told me they would

> last

> > a lifetime, then 3 yrs later when i wanted to get them removed

> every

> > surgeon said " leave well enough alone " they can rupture when

> removed-

> > now years later i do have a rupture and i don't know how long it

> has

> > been like this (excuse me if my writing is not percise i am

crying

> > like a baby) the sites i've been on recommend dr. feng, i want to

> > believe everyone and believe she is great but i am so sceptacle

and

> > don't know why only Drs feng, melmad and kolb are the only ones

> that

> > keep coming up- i live in the new york/new jersey area and can

not

> > believe there is not anyone recommending any there also why no

one

> on

> > these forums seems to be from new york or new jersey, aside from

> > california , ny/nj has to have the most implanted women on the

> > planet, please someone help me to calm down please

[Guest guest]

Neena, you'll be fine, I had two ruptured outside the capsule and today I'm almost completely healed. Mine were probalby ruptured for two years or more. I did not go to any of those drs. you mentioned though they are very good. There are ps in the big city where you live. Go to a women's hospital. Since they know they are silicone and that it is ruptured they will preform the most aggressive surgery, that being removal with capsule intack "enbloc". What are your symptoms? Are they just local? Your crying could be part of the symptoms as our emotions get affected. I had my implants as long as you have, in 90 is when mine were in. Not to alarm you, rather to reassure you, do you have fibromyalgia? Are you experiencing any full blown total body reactions? If not than you'll be fine, I'm positive. The body has an amazing way of healing itself. When I decided to get mine out it happened within a

month, you can have yours done quickly too. I'm sure there is a big hospital around your area. I traveled an hour away. Let me know how you are doing and what calls you've made. I went to the head of ps at a women's hospital in pgh. There is a list of reputable drs. on the link at the bottom of this pg. but perhaps you looked there already. PS take a silicone rupture seriously and will get you in ASAP. Gather around you someone who can be there for you when you cry because its part of it. I hope you are not in too much pain and I pray God watch over you while this crisis is going on. You will be ok, you will. When did you find out this ruptured. How do you know? Do you know how long. God Bless You dear. My heart goes out to you. I will be waiting to hear from you and learn when you'll be having your explant. God's Protection and Care, Hugs, Love neena468

<neena468@...> wrote:

carrie i finally was able to log on, thanks for everything> I feel so empty and scared, I can't stop crying, almost non-stop for > two weeks- I have silicone implants, one is ruptured, I want to get > them out- when i got them in 13 yrs ago they told me they would last > a lifetime, then 3 yrs later when i wanted to get them removed every > surgeon said " leave well enough alone" they can rupture when removed-> now years later i do have a rupture and i don't know how long it has > been like this (excuse me if my writing is not percise i am crying > like a baby) the sites i've been on recommend dr. feng, i want to > believe everyone and believe she is great but i am so sceptacle and >

don't know why only Drs feng, melmad and kolb are the only ones that > keep coming up- i live in the new york/new jersey area and can not > believe there is not anyone recommending any there also why no one on > these forums seems to be from new york or new jersey, aside from > california , ny/nj has to have the most implanted women on the > planet, please someone help me to calm down please

[Guest guest]

Neena, I just joined this group approx. 3 weeks ago and I felt just

like you do now. I'm in Virginia and I couldn't find a surgeon in my

area either. I decided that I would travel wherever I needed to in

order to get them out as soon as possible. Two other girls in the

group have used a doctor in Boston, Dr. Darrow. I've only spoken to

him on the phone once and for me, that was enough. He seemed to be

so sweet and compassionate. He has done over 600 explants (I think

that's what I was told) and is very reputable. Liz just had her

surgery last week and Barbaras was a few months ago. They were very

pleased with the whole experience. Boston is about 500 miles for me

so it should be much closer for you if you decide to go there. My

surgery is scheduled for December 10th.

The awesome women of this group helped me through the really rough

period I was going through when I joined. Like you, I couldn't stop

crying and I've been so sick that I just wanted it to end one way or

the other. I know now that there is hope for me and for you. I'll

say a prayer for you that you will find hope and healing soon.

God bless!

Pam

--- In , " neena468 " <neena468@y...>

wrote:

> I feel so empty and scared, I can't stop crying, almost non-stop

for

> two weeks- I have silicone implants, one is ruptured, I want to

get

> them out- when i got them in 13 yrs ago they told me they would

last

> a lifetime, then 3 yrs later when i wanted to get them removed

every

> surgeon said " leave well enough alone " they can rupture when

removed-

> now years later i do have a rupture and i don't know how long it

has

> been like this (excuse me if my writing is not percise i am crying

> like a baby) the sites i've been on recommend dr. feng, i want to

> believe everyone and believe she is great but i am so sceptacle and

> don't know why only Drs feng, melmad and kolb are the only ones

that

> keep coming up- i live in the new york/new jersey area and can not

> believe there is not anyone recommending any there also why no one

on

> these forums seems to be from new york or new jersey, aside from

> california , ny/nj has to have the most implanted women on the

> planet, please someone help me to calm down please

[Guest guest]

hi everyone, thank you so much for responding to my post, i even

cried but they were happy tears. i am not even a crier, however, i

have become so frustrated and scared with the lack of professional

health that is available, i.e., the doctors don't want to have

anything to do with the sick from implant issues, it is unbelievable

for this day and age for such disconcern for such an important

issue. leaving implants on the market just blows my mind. that is

why i am crying because of not getting anywhere- i am so grateful

for this website, it is the only consoling thing, all your words are

very healing and i want you all to know i appreciate them- i am so

broken right now from not feeling well , to being scared, and not

getting very far with all my phone calls to physicians- i will keep

yuou posted on my progress or lack thereof- you know it's quite

ironic because i was just remembering when i was implanted (and by

the way everytime i write that or hear that, it sounds like we've all

been implanted by aliens) the surgeon said ' oh, these implants will

last a lifetime- think about it... maybe they were right because

they make our lifetime much shorter

[Guest guest]

Neene, you have every right to be upset., and I am sorry that you are going through this. Your first step is to realise you have no other choice than to get them out, and then choose your doctor. The list that was compiled for this site is a great one. Sometimes you have to travel in order to have the breasts copleted properly, as remember you will have to look at them, and live with them forever. So it is worth the extra time, travel and money. If not done right, you may suffer life long consequences.

You are right , you will see those names over and over. Dr Feng is great, as well as Dr Kolb and Dr Melmed. They are all well known, and experienced in this field. Some of them study the disease, and speak out re:it, as well as perform surgery. I went to Atlanta, and I couldnt be happier. What mattered to me was to have a diet/suppl program to follow for nutritional advise and immune strengthening, (which I can totally do that on my own now, but at the time I had two full blown auto immnue illnesses, and had alot going on with my baby, building a house, and illness and needed help) and a women dr preferably, and someone who was experienced.(This is my opinion on what was important for me)

The experience is really what matters. And what their other patients say about their outcome I hope your decision will be an easy one. Thank God for the info on this site, as I made a very informed decision re: my explant because of the info. I never had the opportunity to make an informed decision about my implants until last year upon choosing explant.It was quite helaing to have that control, as everything else spiraled d downward. ....I am so happy to be back to the real me. Take a deep breath, and relax-You are in a good place

..We love you,

Is there a gadget-lover on your gift list? MSN Shopping has lined up some good bets

[Guest guest]

i think you go thru a grieving process for the " old you " i know i definatly

did. i ended up writing my dr a 4 page letter that made her cry. they say

journaling helps some. think of what you can change and those you have no

control

over. i did go to a psychiarist for awhile. he used to fall asleep on me. i

guess my problems were boring!! if you really can' t get away from it. let your

dr know. hang in there!! kathy in il

[Guest guest]

Cindi,

Depression is normal for all of us. Some of us have it worse at

times then other times. There are and will be periods when we go into a

much deeper depression like what it sounds like what you are going

through. I was going through much the same thing as you several months

ago and went to see a psychiatrist who put me on 2 different

antidepressants. The psychiatrist also referred me to a psychologist,

saying medication alone would not meet my needs. Perhaps you need the

same type of thing. If you are already on antidepressants, maybe you

should consider seeing a psychologist. I know for me, the psychologist

helped as much if not more then the medication. I still get depressed

often, but no where near to the degree as I was before.

Grief is also normal for us, grief over what we have lost or are losing

due to our disease(s). As a former therapist myself, I would take the

fact of what you have identified in your post that you are aware of the

crying being problematic and the fact that you need some help with it.

Please seek some assistance, whether it be from a therapist or

psychologist.

I'll be praying for you.

Rick

www.whosyomama.com

[ ] CAN'T STOP CRYING

HI EVERYONE,

I AM REALLY HAVING A BAD COUPLE OF DAYS AND I

DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME. I AM ON

INJECTIONS OF MTX FOR MONTHS, PREDNISONE, ULTRACET,

AND NEURONTIN. FOR A WEEK NOW I FEEL SO DEPRESSED AND I

AM CRYING AND CRYING LIKE I WILL NEVER STOP. I RECENTLY

RECIEVED MY DISABILITY APPROVAL AND I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS

FINALLY HITTING ME THAT I AM NOT THE SAME PERSON ANYMORE,

I CAN DO NEXT TO NOTHING AND AM NEVER OUT OF PAIN. IS THERE

SOME KIND OF SHOCK, OR GRIEVING PROCESS THAT WE GO THRU WITH

RA AND FM ? AM I ACTING NORMAL OR NUTS ? I CAN'T GET A GRIP

ON MYSELF AT ALL. PLEASE, PLEASE ANYBODY WITH INFO HELP. I

HAVE BEEN SURFING THE NET TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING ABOUT THIS

BUT I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO.

THANKS, CINDI HEIN

[Guest guest]

Hi Cindi,

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time.

I can certainly relate to your feelings of depression. It's not all that

uncommon among people with chronic pain. I also suffer from it. I take

trazadone, which is an antidepressant and is also prescribed for people with

insomnia -- it helps me with both.

I did a google on " chronic pain and depression " and the first item that came up

was an article in the s Hopkins arthritis website about depression and RA.

Here's the link: www.hopkins-arthritis.som.jhmi.edu/ mngmnt/depression.html

Depression is nothing to be ashamed about ... I'm sure you wouldn't be your

doctor's first patient with chronic pain to talk to him/her about depression!

I hope you're able to work with your doctor to help you feel better ... body AND

mind.

Kind regards to you,

CINDI <heinscsf@...> wrote:

HI EVERYONE,

I AM REALLY HAVING A BAD COUPLE OF DAYS AND I

DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME. I AM ON

INJECTIONS OF MTX FOR MONTHS, PREDNISONE, ULTRACET,

AND NEURONTIN. FOR A WEEK NOW I FEEL SO DEPRESSED AND I

AM CRYING AND CRYING LIKE I WILL NEVER STOP. I RECENTLY

RECIEVED MY DISABILITY APPROVAL AND I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS

FINALLY HITTING ME THAT I AM NOT THE SAME PERSON ANYMORE,

I CAN DO NEXT TO NOTHING AND AM NEVER OUT OF PAIN. IS THERE

SOME KIND OF SHOCK, OR GRIEVING PROCESS THAT WE GO THRU WITH

RA AND FM ? AM I ACTING NORMAL OR NUTS ? I CAN'T GET A GRIP

ON MYSELF AT ALL. PLEASE, PLEASE ANYBODY WITH INFO HELP. I

HAVE BEEN SURFING THE NET TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING ABOUT THIS

BUT I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO.

THANKS, CINDI HEIN

[Guest guest]

Cindi, I'm sorry you are so upset. If you are still feeling this way

tomorrow, please call or go see your physician and/or therapist.

Please let us know how you are doing.

I'll tell you where to go!

Mayo Clinic in Rochester

http://www.mayoclinic.org/rochester

s Hopkins Medicine

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org

[ ] CAN'T STOP CRYING

> HI EVERYONE,

> I AM REALLY HAVING A BAD COUPLE OF DAYS AND I

> DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME. I AM ON

> INJECTIONS OF MTX FOR MONTHS, PREDNISONE, ULTRACET,

> AND NEURONTIN. FOR A WEEK NOW I FEEL SO DEPRESSED AND I

> AM CRYING AND CRYING LIKE I WILL NEVER STOP. I RECENTLY

> RECIEVED MY DISABILITY APPROVAL AND I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS

> FINALLY HITTING ME THAT I AM NOT THE SAME PERSON ANYMORE,

> I CAN DO NEXT TO NOTHING AND AM NEVER OUT OF PAIN. IS THERE

> SOME KIND OF SHOCK, OR GRIEVING PROCESS THAT WE GO THRU WITH

> RA AND FM ? AM I ACTING NORMAL OR NUTS ? I CAN'T GET A GRIP

> ON MYSELF AT ALL. PLEASE, PLEASE ANYBODY WITH INFO HELP. I

> HAVE BEEN SURFING THE NET TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING ABOUT THIS

> BUT I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO.

> THANKS, CINDI HEIN