Re: To Patty, my story...finally! Iggy

[Guest guest]

Thanks Iggy, I'm praying for you too.

Pam

> > Hi Patty, here's my story finally! I didn't know how to send it

as

> > an attachment so I had to copy and paste it. It's really long,

> > sorry!

> >

> > Thanks!

> >

> > Pam

> >

> > Dear Pam, I know this is for Patty, but I read it and I want you

to

> know that you are in my prayers, as well as everyone else here. My

> explant is for Feb, God bless, Iggy

> >

> > My name is Pam, I'm 38, married with 3 children and 1 grandchild.

I

> > got Saline implants in August of 1999. It's now December 2003 and

> > this is my story so far…

> >

> > I became pregnant in 1996 with my 3rd and last child. I weighed

140

> > when I got pregnant and 190 when I gave birth! I was huge and so

> were

> > my boobs. I breastfed my son for almost 7 months and I went from

a

> > pre-pregnant 36A to a 38D and then back down again afterwards. My

> > boobs ended up long, flabby, ugly and full of stretch marks. I

> hated

> > them but, not enough to do anything about it, just bad enough to

> not

> > want to get naked with the lights on!

> >

> > In May of 1999 my husband and I began to have problems. He told

me

> > he didn't love me anymore. He had always teased me that if I

gained

> > weight or cut my hair; he would trade me in for a new model. Even

> > though he may have been joking, I took it to heart and I lived

with

> > that fear every day. We ended up working things out, but by this

> > time, I was so vulnerable I would have done almost anything to

keep

> > him from rejecting me again.

> >

> > We re-financed our mortgage and got enough cash out so that we

> could

> > get me some boobs and still have the same house payment! He

always

> > said it was my decision, but deep down it really wasn't. I wanted

> so

> > much to please him. I knew that he was always looking and talking

> to

> > women and I just thought that maybe if I looked better than any

of

> > them, he would stop.

> >

> > So, in August of 1999 I decided to go ahead and do it. I had lost

> all

> > the baby weight plus some and was down to about 130. The smaller

I

> > got, the uglier my boobs were to me. I called the first plastic

> > surgeon I found and set up a consultation. I was really impressed

> > with him and his staff and when he told me he could do a really

> good

> > job and make me beautiful again I was sold! So I went ahead and

> set

> > up the surgery for the first week of August 1999. I couldn't

wait,

> I

> > was on pins and needles for days. Then I got really sick with the

> flu

> > 3 days before the surgery date and had to cancel. I should have

> > taken that as a sign! They were more than happy to re-schedule

me

> > for the following week.

> >

> > On the way home from the doctor's office I was still under

> > the " amnesia/truth medicine " that they used for anesthesia and

was

> > talking out loud to God (so my husband tells me…because I don't

> > remember) and I told Him how sorry I was that I wasn't happy with

> the

> > breasts He gave me and I asked Him to forgive me. I guess my true

> > feelings came out. I knew it was wrong for me to do. Wrong

because

> I

> > was trying to change myself to please my husband and wrong

because

> I

> > should have been happy with what God gave me and I didn't know it

> > then but wrong because they were going to make me sick.

> >

> > After the surgery, I didn't recover as quickly as the doctor said

I

> > should. I had taken 3 vacation days so that along with the

weekend,

> I

> > would have had 5 days off. I went back to work, but I really

wasn't

> > ready. I had a hard time driving and was so fatigued. That was

the

> > first sign something was wrong but I ignored it and blamed it on

> the

> > 1 1/2 hour commute.

> >

> > I really didn't mind the long commute before the implants. I

loved

> my

> > job so much and was so excited to be doing what I was doing. I

> liked

> > getting up at 5:00am and heading off to work. I would get there

> > before anyone else and would get so much done while it was

quiet.

> > Then in the afternoon I left an hour before everyone so I could

get

> a

> > head start on traffic. After the surgery, I started to dread

> getting

> > up so early. Then when school started back up in early September

I

> > thought traffic must have gotten worse and I was just over

stressed

> > and that's why I was always so exhausted. Then when the clocks

> > were

> > turned back for daylight savings time in October, it got even

> worse.

> > I kept blaming the fatigue on everything else, everything but

what

> > the real problem was.

> >

> > Along with the fatigue came the brain fog, dry eyes, headaches,

> > dizziness, tingling in my hands and fingers, pain in the ball of

my

> > foot, insomnia, forgetfulness, and terrible pelvic pain. It got

> > worse after what I thought was a virus in November 1999. I had

> > endometriosis and my left ovary was removed 8 months prior to my

> > implant surgery so I blamed the pelvic pain on the return of

> > endometriosis and adhesions from the surgery. It got so bad so

> > quickly that I begged the doctor to do a full hysterectomy one

> month

> > later in December of 1999. I was only 34.

> >

> > I continued to be plagued by never ending pelvic pain and had 3

> > additional surgeries for adhesions. During this whole time I had

an

> > all over foggy, strange, achy feeling that I thought was because

I

> > had become dependent on the pain medicine. I didn't tell anyone

> that

> > because I didn't want them thinking I was only saying I was in

pain

> > in order to get pain pills. It was hard enough convincing them

that

> I

> > was truly sick already. I was eventually weaned off the strong

> stuff

> > but I continued to take Tylenol every day, every 4 hours and

prayed

> > for the pain and fatigue to go away.

> >

> > In April of 2000, my gynecologist referred me to an internist

> because

> > he had run out of ideas as to why I was still so sick. He ran

> every

> > test he could think of and found nothing wrong with me except for

> > Severe Reactive Hypoglycemia (Low Blood Sugar). Since that was

the

> > only concrete diagnosis I had, my doctor made a recommendation to

> my

> > supervisor asking her to allow me to work from home or in an

office

> > closer to home because I was at risk of passing out and killing

> > myself or others if my sugar was to drop during the long

commute.

> > She didn't buy it. I tried several different times and even went

> > through the ADA committee at the corporate office and was denied

> > every time.

> >

> > I was out of work so much that in April of 2001, they gave me 2

> weeks

> > off with pay and told me I needed to decide whether to be at work

> > full time, every day, quit with severance pay, or be terminated.

I

> > decided to stay! I really loved my job so I searched everywhere

> for

> > a carpool or vanpool in the area and found one that had just

> > started. I was so happy! I got to work every day on time but I

> was

> > still just as exhausted as I was when I was driving myself. My

> > doctor changed my medication to see if it would help and I ended

up

> > having a severe reaction. I came to work the next day because I

> > didn't have to drive. The other commuters weren't thrilled

> > with the

> > fact that I brought a barf bag with me, but I had no choice.

When

> I

> > left work that day, I let the secretaries know that I most likely

> > wouldn't be in the next day and told them to charge me with a

> > vacation day since my boss was out of town. I had 160 sick days

> > available but I felt it would be best if I used my own vacation

> > rather than having to deal with my boss' attitude when she found

> > out

> > I was out sick again. That night, the doctor told me to take 1/2

> the

> > dose but instead of having a less severe reaction, it was even

> > worse. I couldn't get out of bed until 3:00 the next afternoon.

> > I

> > was fired for being AWOL even though I had a doctor`s excuse!

> > They

> > said it was " company policy " to notify your supervisor you

> > were going

> > to be out sick within the first hour of the business day. That

> was

> > something we never did the entire 14+ years I worked there. Not

> only

> > that, but my boss was out of town and we never called her when

she

> > was out of town. I have a case pending with the EEOC and will

most

> > likely have to file suit for wrongful termination. Of course I

> > didn't realize until now that I lost the only job I held my

entire

> > adult life due to the illness caused by my " safe " saline breast

> > implants.

> >

> >

> > I ended up babysitting that summer and then became a fully

licensed

> > insurance agent in September 2001. The fatigue and aching

continued

> > even though I was working from home and getting plenty of rest. I

> > once again blamed it on something else - this time on the stress

of

> > the new job. I'm not the salesperson type, so selling wasn't easy

> > for

> > me. But even when things ran smoothly and I was making good

money,

> > the pain and fatigue didn't let up.

> >

> > In the summer of 2002 I finally went back to my gynecologist. I

was

> > so afraid to tell him that I was still sick but thank God, he

took

> me

> > seriously. He had just started treating some of his other

patients

> > for something called 's Thyroid Syndrome. The idea behind

WTS

> > is that if you have normal thyroid tests, but have a low body

temp,

> > taking T-3 will get your temp back to 98.6 and you will be cured

of

> > fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue as well as a whole lot of other

> > illnesses. It sounded like that was what I had so I started on T-

3

> > in July, 2002. I went through 4 or 5 cycles of it and my average

> temp

> > didn't go much above 97.2 and I was getting worse, not better.

> >

> > He also had me try a comprehensive elimination diet that I

followed

> > to a T for months. At first I felt a little better and we thought

> it

> > was working only to be disappointed again. He officially

diagnosed

> me

> > with Fibromyalgia in October, 2002. I hated that diagnosis

because

> I

> > had always heard it was a fancy word for " full o' sh**t " !

> >

> > I went on the internet and started researching fibromyalgia and

all

> > the other symptoms I had to see if there were any cures or

> medicines

> > that actually worked. In April of 2003 I came across SOS,

Survivors

> > of Salines. I thought it was a mistake since saline implants

> > are " safe " , but I looked at it anyways. I got a terrible feeling

in

> > the pit of my stomach. I just couldn't believe that my implants

> could

> > be the cause of my problems. So, I continued to research and

found

> > more and more stories of women just like me, with saline implants

> and

> > sick. I took the info to my doctor and he told me flat out; " get

a

> > loan, get a surgeon and get them out " . I told my family and they

> told

> > me to do whatever it took to get better.

> >

> > I had just started seeing a Rheumatologist so I asked her for a

> > second opinion. She said she had several patients who had their

> > silicone implants (dow-corning) removed and they didn't get any

> > better. Besides, mine were saline so they couldn't be the cause

of

> my

> > problems and even if they were, it would be a waste of time and

> > money. She told me to stop trying to find the root of the problem

> and

> > just deal with the fact that was sick and that's that.

> >

> > After more blood tests, eye tests, heart tests and on and on, she

> > diagnosed me with: Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Rheumatoid

> > Arthritis, Sjogren's syndrome, Cognitive Dysfunction, Carpal

> Tunnel,

> > Possible Lupus and she referred me to a neurologist who diagnosed

> me

> > with Raynaud's phenomenon as well. None of the blood tests

> confirmed

> > any of the diagnoses, but I have all the signs and symptoms.

> >

> > By this time, even though I was working out of my home on my own

> > schedule, I could no longer handle it. My fatigue was so bad that

I

> > was canceling appointments left and right. I got to the point

where

> I

> > couldn't remember how to fill out applications or what our

> > underwriting guidelines were or even how to answer my client's

> > simplest questions and I couldn't fake it anymore. I started to

> let

> > the phone calls go to voice mail so they could leave a message

> > (hopefully) with their question and I would find the answer and

> call

> > them back. My brain just stopped working right and I couldn't

> > remember or retain anything. I was a very smart girl before all

> this

> > and I was becoming an idiot. I was forgetting how to spell words

> and

> > having the hardest time even doing the simplest math. How was I

> > supposed to be responsible for the financial future of my

clients?

> I

> > went out on disability in May of 2003. It's now December 7th,

2003

> > and I'm still not receiving any disability pay because they say

my

> > illness is pre-existing.

> >

> > In August of 2003, I had a sleep study done that showed I woke up

> all

> > night due to pain and if the pain could be controlled, I would

> sleep

> > much better. My Rheummy prescribed 50mg Duragesic patches. I did

> > sleep better, but was still just as exhausted. After 2 months of

> > using the patches, I had one that leaked. Because I argued with

> the

> > doctor about whether or not I would go into withdrawal if she

> didn't

> > replace the damaged patch or give me a substitution until it was

> time

> > to get my re-fill, she told me to find a new doctor! I cried for

> > days. I tried desperately to find a new Rheumatologist. There

> aren't

> > many in this area and the ones who are stay booked for months. I

> > didn't know what to do.

> >

> > That's when I decided I wasn't going to just lay down and let

this

> > illness get the best of me anymore. I wasn't going to accept that

> > this is what have to be like for the rest of my life. I was going

> to

> > take charge and fight like my life depended on it, because it did

> and

> > it does. I started researching more and more on the Internet and

by

> > the grace of God I found Saline Support! I've found so much

> > information here and so many wonderful women. I just can't ever

say

> > thank you enough. I know that there is hope for me and for other

> > women like me. I know that God led me here and He has a plan. I'm

> > scheduled to be explanted on December 10th, 2003. Say a prayer!

> >

> > Pam

> >

> > to be continued.......