Re: Kathy thankk God! Re: my kid's response and Dad's (unblelief, belittling, abandonement) HELP! anyone

[Guest guest]

Kathy Tank God you found this post an answered. I went to bed for about 7 days. Oh thats horrendous, And starving myself, hoping my family would see that I've lost weight. They care so much about me being thin. they think so much of my problems are due to weight gain. But I'm going to get off the pain meds. But I need to have him give me flexeril (nonnarcotic muscle relaxer). I asked for it this time and he gave it to me and reduced the amount of patches, that was good thats what I want him to do. Now I want him to give me two flexerils a day and no patches. I've found with flexeril I can manage my pain, since mine is fibromyalgia. And I can take ibuprophen for the joint pain. The arthritus meds don't work. But I know I've been loosing my mental health over this weight stuff. But I feel I'm far down enough on my weight that I can do it naturally. Yes, do you see I even didn't get up for days to

starve the weight off of me. Its ludicrest. Mostly, its going backwards, but I find loosing weight to be so impossible. Are you working? My daughter has put so much pressure on me to work. Do most of us return to work? I'm applying for disability, have been for 2 years. My brain is like mush much of the time and the chronic fatigue is rough. I volunteer at the church a lot and my Dad actually wrote me a nice note about that. so i guess i should try to keep my chin up more. i appreciate your support, God Love yah, please write again, love michellemikat828 <mikat828@...> wrote:

Dear You have been through so much. And you have persevered! I think you are alot stronger than you realize. You have been hurt so much and sometimes we turn that hurt back on ourselves and do things to hurt ourselves---like your way of trying to lose weight. It is like you are saying to yourself "if they don't care about me then I don't care about me either." You have to love yourself and care about yourself more than that! YOu already know God loves you heavy or not, and He cares for you. Just keep focusing on that and forget about your family's hurtful ways right now. You are not strong enough to deal with that. You need to put yourself first---getting well and getting strong. When you are strong enough emotionally and physically to deal with your loved ones and

the painful relationships you have with them, you will know it. God will help you there too. He will provide a way to restore your lost relationships. I know it hurts. It hurts alot. More than words can adequately express. It often seems that those who should support us the most, are there the least for us. When my husband died suddenly, I joined a grief support group. I found it was very common ---myself included--for those who were widowed to feel the least understanding and support from their own families! We felt that total strangers cared more. It hurts so much when people whom you love dearly are not there for you. But as I healed and time passed, I have found myself forgiving them and letting go of those times so I can move forward. The same withthe implants. My mom and sisters think first of all---that I was never as sick as I was.

Secondly they refuse to believe it was the implants. We just don't talk about it. There is no support. This is very common. That is why there are support groups like this---we have walked at least partway in your shoes, and we do understand your pain. God has provided this group to help where your family could or would not. Surely that is a blessing! Please try to eat better! there is alot of info about healthy diets. You are really sabotaging getting well when you abuse your body by not eating for days on end. Your body is like a car. It constantly needs fuel to run. Your body is a temple. Love yourself and love your body because is sustains your life here on earth. I know it would be hard to stop all bad habits cold turkey--going slow is better than not at all.Just keep taking steps in the right direction. Loving yourself enough to be kind

to your body and giving it what it needs to get well. You are on the right path. Your family may never give you what you need emotionally. Sometimes we have to just accept that. But right now, don't even let yourself think about it. It will just eat away at you. I know. When my husband died, there were times I just pretended he was away (in my mind--not to others) because I couldn't deal with the pain. Sometimes I pretended I was sick with the flu and went to bed and watched tv and ate chicken noodle soup for a day or two. Somehow, pretending I was sick, gave me permission to quit feeling the pain of his death and my radically changed life for a short while. If I hadn't had the outlet of my grief support group, or the mind games I occasionally played, I wouldn't have coped at all. So right now, you need to protect your emotions and heart too---don't

let yourself focus at all on your family. Just tell yourself what you need to hear to get you well again. And when that day comes, then you can feel the hurt with your family and deal with it when you are stronger. I will keep you in my prayers.God's blessings to you, \kathy