Re: advice? ideas? HELP

[Guest guest]

I'm thinking you know this is a middle-school age problem more than a hearing

problem.? They're supposed to become defiant to become independent so this, hard

as it is to believe is a good thing.? I like the books my Dr. Rosen...? sorry

can't remember his name but he writes articles on discipling children for the

paper.? He'd probably say you need to make this your daughter's problem--you're

probably much more upset than she is.? So if grades don't go up, take away her

cell-phone, or computer or social privileges until they do.? Nahh!? He'd have a

much better idea.? Sorry to sound so trite.

advice? ideas? HELP

Sigh. I will warn you all that I am extremely upset at the

moment ......so keep that in mind when reading this. Double sigh.

My daughter is 12 years old. She received the implant at age 5. She

has done very well with it. Not the " TOP " stories you hear

about........but definitely better than " average " .

Anyhow.........she is in middle school now......6th grade......fully

mainstreamed (and has been since 1st grade). We are having such

problems with her wearing the FM. They tested her without the FM

and she " heard " 40% of the information presented.............WITH the

FM she jumped to 100%. YET......she has been lying and sneaking and

well the latest straw is tonight......I went to throw the clothes

from the washer to the dryer and out falls the part of the FM that

she wears. I WASHED IT! I know its partly my own fault for

not checking her pants pockets better but still! Why is it home?

Why was it in her pocket? Why did she throw the pants down to be

washed?!?!? GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRr. Sorry.

Her grades have suffered this year. She was almost an all A

student......and for the first grading period this year she got one

A........all B's or B- and one C. She has had missing assignments

and we kept hearing " but she never said that was homework! " ........

YEAH RIGHT! BUT....then the night of conferences.......we went to

check out her locker.......and there was the microphone. We

said " Why is this in your locker? " She said " We had a bomb threat

and they wouldn't let us go back to our lockers " (which was

true....sad but true....small town) BUT...then it dawned on

us.......where was HER part? We asked her and then figured out that

she has been just handing the teachers the microphone and NOT ever

booting her part in. Clever I suppose.....but devious! We called

her out..........she cried........said it wouldn't happen

again..........but it did.......so I had the audiologist and TOD talk

to her....got better for a week or so.......then again it

happened........so I had the school counselor speak with her. (that

was 2 weeks ago) and now this.........her FM piece in her pocket.

She just brought me up an apology letter she wrote to the audiologist

(which I asked her to do) and in it it says she was NOT wearing her

part in last hour and forgot about it then being in her pocket.

She had done it again....just gave the teacher the microphone.

Sigh. And now her part is ruined and I am worried sick they will ask

us to pay for it...........We don't have the money for that and she

can;t make it without it.

Anyhow....THANKS for listening and PLEASE help me know what to do.

Thank you! And if you know of another forum or listserver this

should be sent to.........please let me know that too.

TAKE CARE,

Happy Holidays!

(WI)

[Guest guest]

It's Dr. Rosemond.

advice? ideas? HELP

Sigh. I will warn you all that I am extremely upset at the

moment ......so keep that in mind when reading this. Double sigh.

My daughter is 12 years old. She received the implant at age 5. She

has done very well with it. Not the " TOP " stories you hear

about........but definitely better than " average " .

Anyhow.........she is in middle school now......6th grade......fully

mainstreamed (and has been since 1st grade). We are having such

problems with her wearing the FM. They tested her without the FM

and she " heard " 40% of the information presented.............WITH the

FM she jumped to 100%. YET......she has been lying and sneaking and

well the latest straw is tonight......I went to throw the clothes

from the washer to the dryer and out falls the part of the FM that

she wears. I WASHED IT! I know its partly my own fault for

not checking her pants pockets better but still! Why is it home?

Why was it in her pocket? Why did she throw the pants down to be

washed?!?!? GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRr. Sorry.

Her grades have suffered this year. She was almost an all A

student......and for the first grading period this year she got one

A........all B's or B- and one C. She has had missing assignments

and we kept hearing " but she never said that was homework! " ........

YEAH RIGHT! BUT....then the night of conferences.......we went to

check out her locker.......and there was the microphone. We

said " Why is this in your locker? " She said " We had a bomb threat

and they wouldn't let us go back to our lockers " (which was

true....sad but true....small town) BUT...then it dawned on

us.......where was HER part? We asked her and then figured out that

she has been just handing the teachers the microphone and NOT ever

booting her part in. Clever I suppose.....but devious! We called

her out..........she cried........said it wouldn't happen

again..........but it did.......so I had the audiologist and TOD talk

to her....got better for a week or so.......then again it

happened........so I had the school counselor speak with her. (that

was 2 weeks ago) and now this.........her FM piece in her pocket.

She just brought me up an apology letter she wrote to the audiologist

(which I asked her to do) and in it it says she was NOT wearing her

part in last hour and forgot about it then being in her pocket.

She had done it again....just gave the teacher the microphone.

Sigh. And now her part is ruined and I am worried sick they will ask

us to pay for it...........We don't have the money for that and she

can;t make it without it.

Anyhow....THANKS for listening and PLEASE help me know what to do.

Thank you! And if you know of another forum or listserver this

should be sent to.........please let me know that too.

TAKE CARE,

Happy Holidays!

(WI)

[Guest guest]

So sorry. Perhaps the homeowner's insurance will cover somehow. Or

ask your place of worship or other community organizations if they

can help you with the cost of the FM device that was washed. You

will not get the money unless you ask. Or get your child to raise

the money by doing chores in your neighborhood and explain to the

neighbors why she is doing it. Maybe match donations with money from

chores?

With the information you wrote, I agree it may be more of a child

rearing issue. " With responsibility comes privileges " is my motto.

Get your child to assume responsibility (chores, etc.). It is really

hard at first, but keep at it. We take away " screen time " and other

entertainment options (no cookies or ice cream too) as discipline.

Screen is anything electronic, TVs included. A lot of books were

read during some teaching moments!

It seems all parents go thru what you are going thru. Sometimes I

let my children fail sometimes because that is the only way they can

learn. One other thought is that your daughter can do a " show and

tell " with all of her gadgets with her homeroom class or whichever

class seems to be the source of problems. I did that in third or

fourth grade - passed my hearing aids around and I did sort of

a " science " report how the ear works and how my hearing aid helps me

hear and what I do to hear better. My classmates asked some

interesting questions. My teacher was supportive of my " report " and

the kids seemed to accept me better instead of teasing me

about " those things behind my ears " .

I want to encourage you and glad you are venting your frustration

rather than bottling it up. Whatever you do, involve your child with

the solution.

Best wishes, Neely, Dallas Texas

>

> I'm thinking you know this is a middle-school age problem more than

a hearing problem.? They're supposed to become defiant to become

independent so this, hard as it is to believe is a good thing.? I

like the books my Dr. Rosen...? sorry can't remember his name but he

writes articles on discipling children for the paper.? He'd probably

say you need to make this your daughter's problem--you're probably

much more upset than she is.? So if grades don't go up, take away her

cell-phone, or computer or social privileges until they do.? Nahh!?

He'd have a much better idea.? Sorry to sound so trite.

>

> advice? ideas? HELP

>

> Sigh. I will warn you all that I am extremely upset at the

> moment ......so keep that in mind when reading this. Double sigh.

>

> My daughter is 12 years old. She received the implant at age 5. She

>has done very well with it. Not the " TOP " stories you hear

> about........but definitely better than " average " .

> Anyhow.........she is in middle school now......6th

grade......fully

> mainstreamed (and has been since 1st grade). We are having such

> problems with her wearing the FM. They tested her without the FM

> and she " heard " 40% of the information presented.............WITH

the

> FM she jumped to 100%. YET......she has been lying and sneaking and

> well the latest straw is tonight......I went to throw the clothes

> from the washer to the dryer and out falls the part of the FM that

> she wears. I WASHED IT! I know its partly my own fault for

> not checking her pants pockets better but still! Why is it home?

> Why was it in her pocket? Why did she throw the pants down to be

> washed?!?!? GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRr. Sorry.

>

> Her grades have suffered this year. She was almost an all A

> student......and for the first grading period this year she got one

> A........all B's or B- and one C. She has had missing assignments

> and we kept hearing " but she never said that was homework! " ........

> YEAH RIGHT! BUT....then the night of conferences.......we went to

> check out her locker.......and there was the microphone. We

> said " Why is this in your locker? " She said " We had a bomb threat

> and they wouldn't let us go back to our lockers " (which was

> true....sad but true....small town) BUT...then it dawned on

> us.......where was HER part? We asked her and then figured out that

> she has been just handing the teachers the microphone and NOT ever

> booting her part in. Clever I suppose.....but devious! We called

> her out..........she cried........said it wouldn't happen

> again..........but it did.......so I had the audiologist and TOD

talk

> to her....got better for a week or so.......then again it

> happened........so I had the school counselor speak with her. (that

> was 2 weeks ago) and now this.........her FM piece in her pocket.

> She just brought me up an apology letter she wrote to the

audiologist

> (which I asked her to do) and in it it says she was NOT wearing her

> part in last hour and forgot about it then being in her pocket.

> She had done it again....just gave the teacher the microphone.

> Sigh. And now her part is ruined and I am worried sick they will

ask

> us to pay for it...........We don't have the money for that and she

> can;t make it without it.

>

> Anyhow....THANKS for listening and PLEASE help me know what to do.

> Thank you! And if you know of another forum or listserver this

> should be sent to.........please let me know that too.

> TAKE CARE,

> Happy Holidays!

> (WI)

>

[Guest guest]

Hey ,

My suggestion may not be as insightful as Allan's was but I do feel strongly

about one thing... I know she's twelve and probably wouldn't want to talk to you

about ANYTHING. But I'd try and encourage her and give her all of your

support... Ask her if she content with wearing CIs. Also, ask her if there

would be something else that she would like differently than CIs. Talk to her

and hear her voice and see if anything will get better...

Maybe I'm assuming something here, does she use " spoken " English? Does she use

ASL also?

Best of luck. Have a good holiday!

From: moisurreal@...

Date: Sat, 20 Dec 2008 02:58:00 +0000

Subject: advice? ideas? HELP

Sigh. I will warn you all that I am extremely upset at the

moment ......so keep that in mind when reading this. Double sigh.

My daughter is 12 years old. She received the implant at age 5. She

has done very well with it. Not the " TOP " stories you hear

about........but definitely better than " average " .

Anyhow.........she is in middle school now......6th grade......fully

mainstreamed (and has been since 1st grade). We are having such

problems with her wearing the FM. They tested her without the FM

and she " heard " 40% of the information presented.............WITH the

FM she jumped to 100%. YET......she has been lying and sneaking and

well the latest straw is tonight......I went to throw the clothes

from the washer to the dryer and out falls the part of the FM that

she wears. I WASHED IT! I know its partly my own fault for

not checking her pants pockets better but still! Why is it home?

Why was it in her pocket? Why did she throw the pants down to be

washed?!?!? GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRr. Sorry.

Her grades have suffered this year. She was almost an all A

student......and for the first grading period this year she got one

A........all B's or B- and one C. She has had missing assignments

and we kept hearing " but she never said that was homework! " ........

YEAH RIGHT! BUT....then the night of conferences.......we went to

check out her locker.......and there was the microphone. We

said " Why is this in your locker? " She said " We had a bomb threat

and they wouldn't let us go back to our lockers " (which was

true....sad but true....small town) BUT...then it dawned on

us.......where was HER part? We asked her and then figured out that

she has been just handing the teachers the microphone and NOT ever

booting her part in. Clever I suppose.....but devious! We called

her out..........she cried........said it wouldn't happen

again..........but it did.......so I had the audiologist and TOD talk

to her....got better for a week or so.......then again it

happened........so I had the school counselor speak with her. (that

was 2 weeks ago) and now this.........her FM piece in her pocket.

She just brought me up an apology letter she wrote to the audiologist

(which I asked her to do) and in it it says she was NOT wearing her

part in last hour and forgot about it then being in her pocket.

She had done it again....just gave the teacher the microphone.

Sigh. And now her part is ruined and I am worried sick they will ask

us to pay for it...........We don't have the money for that and she

can;t make it without it.

Anyhow....THANKS for listening and PLEASE help me know what to do.

Thank you! And if you know of another forum or listserver this

should be sent to.........please let me know that too.

TAKE CARE,

Happy Holidays!

(WI)

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2008

[Guest guest]

,

???? First, I know your pain of washing something very important...and then

raising a middle schooler, ugh to both!? I have two daughters that have

implants, one is a sophomore in high school and the other is in the eighth

grade.? Both of the girls through grade school benefited greatly from direct

audio input FM systems.? The summer before sixth grade begged, pleaded and

through fits over NOT having to use the FM.? Middle school is already a

difficult time in their lives and I totally understood...she didn't want to be

different.? But I also felt she needed the support of the FM.? After meeting

with the school audiologist we settled on a unit that hangs up on the wall, and

actually helps all the children in the class.? That is what both the girls have

now used through middle school, and then had it her freshman year of high

school.? Last year was able to speak at her own IEP, and her only request

was NO fm at all....so we allowed her nothing just to see how she did, and so

far so good.? Anyway...I know it is hard and their education is so important,

but I also know they are children first, and surviving middle school is hard for

the best of us.?

Good Luck,

- CI 1999

Holly CI 1999

advice? ideas? HELP

Sigh. I will warn you all that I am extremely upset at the

moment ......so keep that in mind when reading this. Double sigh.

My daughter is 12 years old. She received the implant at age 5. She

has done very well with it. Not the " TOP " stories you hear

about........but definitely better than " average " .

Anyhow.........she is in middle school now......6th grade......fully

mainstreamed (and has been since 1st grade). We are having such

problems with her wearing the FM. They tested her without the FM

and she " heard " 40% of the information presented.............WITH the

FM she jumped to 100%. YET......she has been lying and sneaking and

well the latest straw is tonight......I went to throw the clothes

from the washer to the dryer and out falls the part of the FM that

she wears. I WASHED IT! I know its partly my own fault for

not checking her pants pockets better but still! Why is it home?

Why was it in her pocket? Why did she throw the pants down to be

washed?!?!? GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRr. Sorry.

Her grades have suffered this year. She was almost an all A

student......and for the first grading period this year she got one

A........all B's or B- and one C. She has had missing assignments

and we kept hearing " but she never said that was homework! " ........

YEAH RIGHT! BUT....then the night of conferences.......we went to

check out her locker.......and there was the microphone. We

said " Why is this in your locker? " She said " We had a bomb threat

and they wouldn't let us go back to our lockers " (which was

true....sad but true....small town) BUT...then it dawned on

us.......where was HER part? We asked her and then figured out that

she has been just handing the teachers the microphone and NOT ever

booting her part in. Clever I suppose.....but devious! We called

her out..........she cried........said it wouldn't happen

again..........but it did.......so I had the audiologist and TOD talk

to her....got better for a week or so.......then again it

happened........so I had the school counselor speak with her. (that

was 2 weeks ago) and now this.........her FM piece in her pocket.

She just brought me up an apology letter she wrote to the audiologist

(which I asked her to do) and in it it says she was NOT wearing her

part in last hour and forgot about it then being in her pocket.

She had done it again....just gave the teacher the microphone.

Sigh. And now her part is ruined and I am worried sick they will ask

us to pay for it...........We don't have the money for that and she

can;t make it without it.

Anyhow....THANKS for listening and PLEASE help me know what to do.

Thank you! And if you know of another forum or listserver this

should be sent to.........please let me know that too.

TAKE CARE,

Happy Holidays!

(WI)