Guest guest Posted January 9, 2004 Report Share Posted January 9, 2004 Pam I have been reading and trying to keep us with your posts about your progress and about your marriage issues, daughter etc etc. I want to tell you that i have been through two terrible long term relationships, and both of them were with men so much like yours it is not even funny! My first husband the one I have a daughter with, gosh I stayed with him for 18 years! We met when I was 14 and he manipulated my entire life for many many years, I was so stupid and insecure that I thought that was what I was meant to do. I really believed it! Sad huh? I never had a job or went to school after high school because he believed I needed to be a stay at home wife, even though we had no kids. He helped me get into a lot of trouble with drugs and we led a wild rebelious lifestyle of shopping sprees and partying, till it caught up with him and he did some jail time. By this time I was 24 and ready to end it(we dated since I was 14 but married at 21) I left him for awhile, but he persisted and convinced me he had changed after doing time. He got a great career going, got clean, and actually agreed to let me (can you believe let me) go to school for my nursing assistant training(smartest thing I ever did let me tell ya) then at 28 I got pregnant from the only time we even had sex that month(oh i forgot to mention his porno addiction) that porno addiction had always been there, but it did not seem to interfere with our sex life too bad till i got pregnant, He hated me when I was pregnant, i mean sexually at least. He loved our baby and was the best dad (i had severe post partum depression) over gaining 60 pounds etc. He was a good dad and I started working but he never wanted sex anymore and after I got very thin, like 110 pounds I wanted attention again, more than ever. I ended up cheating on him. Then he found out, then he left, it was the best thing that could have hapened to me at the time, though he took my kid with him, I was in that stage where it was probably best for her anyhow. I went through so much that you would think I would have learned, but no back into another terrible relationship only a few months later, this one was a total other type of guy and total other type of hell. At first he was everything I could want, nice, supportive of my working and doing schooling, etc. But as time went on I learned how selfish he was, and immature, and the worse thing, another really freaky sex addict. To this day this man somewhat stalks me in weird ways. I could not get him to leave(he moved into my home) oh my gosh 5 years of my life it took to get him to leave my home. He was pure evil in so many ways, he never physicallly abused me, niether really did, it was all mental abuse. I finally got him out of my house right after I got implants. So it was within 3 months of him leaving and getting implants I had so many plans but I got so sick. I tried hard to fight the illness(never missed work) still worked out I think it was my anger that fighter thing, I just would not stop doing what I always did, but it was getting harder for sure. My point here is that it was not till I got this man out of my life and decided I was done with men that I met the man I was meant to be with, my current husband. He is the dream come true out of all this nightmare implant crap! People don't change unless they want to, and most don't want to. Both my exes are the exact same way they were, they will never ever change as far as I can tell. I don't care anymore, other than the fact that my ex husband has our daughter, another long sad story. Esp men with porno addictions, they will not stop. It is like drug addiction, you only can stop with counseling and a real desire to stop. It takes hitting rock bottom as well. I pray that you will find the stregnth to leave this man, being with a man like this will just cause you more pain and stress, and while your with him you will never meet the one you are really meant to be with. I pray that you will find the stregnth to do what is needed. Hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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