Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 " First i laughed out loud at the last sentence... because that is always how I feel... If you do not like what I look like or how I dress, or how my hair is done... look the other way... I am me and whoever does not like it tough Sh*t. Mitch is the same way... the bad part is although we have these thoughts and we truly don't care... our hearts are on our sleeves and we do get hurt by the nasty comments and the hurtful words. I am an adult and I just ignore and move on... teaching Mitch how to handle it is still difficult. " As much as I think the social aspect of society is pointless, one has to admit that to survive in society, one ought to try to learn as much about being social as one can. I think Mitch ought to pick up as much as he can, but at the same time you may want to remind him and yourself of three things: 1) He will never learn everything. 2) Most of what he learns he will not learn perfectly. 3) What he learns will change as he ages. Childhood and adolescence are times when ALL kids are still trying to learn how to be social. When you have cliques, it is usually because a social bond has been established between a number of people. The thing is, especially in childhood and adolesence, when kids are continually maturing, these cliques are temporary and transient, so what is learned changes quite often. You can have five people in a group. One of them matures and finds that juvenalia no longer interests her. She may then become the outcast in THAT clique, but there are other cliques willing to accept her...provided they meet with her approval, and provided she has enough finesse to be able to penetrate the group. I can remember my grandmother talking about having to undergo lessons in " ettiquette " and " deportment. " These things should be taught in the present day so that kids have a social definition to strive for. Then anyone who acts above their age won't be such a reject, and those who are socially clueless will have a better chance at succeeding. It IS important for people to have friends. was right when he posted words to this effect. But in addition to helping your young one learn how to interact with others his own age, another goal ought to be to teach Mitch adult social ettiquette so that he can come into adulthood with most of that already under his belt. Tom Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 I said... " The mundane, most of us don't care for, so if someone gets excited because some new style of clothes is now being marketed, we won't care. " You replied: " ...and you are so on the mark is was scary.... this is mitch to a t. " My reply: You know how most non-Aspies can go to a party and mix right in? It is because they are on the same social wavelength. Aspies have their own wavelength and you will find we think alike. Read the posts here and you will see differences in terms of interests, and because some of us come from different countries, you will see different word choices, but essentially, we SOUND alike. And there is not too much personailty that gets expressed in our writings either (with the exception of when we are involved in a major debate. Then you might see anger. Or cynicism.) Think of us as the pod people from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. We live among you, but you don't know what we are thinking. The Invasion of the Body Snatchers is a good movie in that it plays on people's social fears and bashes people who are too social. You go about your life normally and then these aliens come along and you are forced to change, both in body and mind, to their way of thinking, and abandon your own individual conscience for their social one. If you try to keep your identity, as everyone else gets converted, you suddenly find that YOU are the outcast and alone, and the new people that you are afraid of are the norm. Of course it can also be seen as an anti-communist movie, but when I watch it (The Sutherland version) I like to sometimes watch it from the perspective as pod-people being Aspies and everyone in the world is forced to be like us. THAT makes for quite a bit of entertainment. Tom Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 I wrote: "By the way, I am not a doctor, so everything I just said you ought to run past a professional." Mimi responded: "Tom in that meeting I mentioned the doctors turned to myself andanother mom and acknowledged that we are the experts. but just likeprofessionals we have different opinions. your input was sound andpragmatic far more valuable than a "professional" ;)" My reply: I know that. (Insert arrogant grin here: ) But I offer the "I'm not a doctor" disclaimer to cover myself legally. Additionally, I do not know Mitch so I may be COMPLETELY off the mark despite what his mom says. Only a professional (in the truest sense of the word) can offer best opinions. Tom Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 " It is funny... he will NOT wash it but it is ok for him to go underwater at the pool... but not in the bath... ah well... such is life. " He may not like water splashing up on his face from beneath him in the bath. Also, he cannot totally immerse himself and feel comfortable in the bathtub. Another thing you may want to do is ensure that the bathtub is absolutely as clean as can be before he gets in. he may not want to get into a bath or a shower that he perceieves as being dirty. Tom Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 " Home is the safe zone... we try to make it a place where there is no judgement and he can be himself without recrimination...I am hoping that by doing this he can expand on his interests and find something that suits him for his choice of work... (leaning towards botnay, herbology, and landscaping) " Your instinct is correct. This is precisely what he needs. Some parents make home a bad place for Aspie kids by being harder on them than the real world is. Some of the Aspies who have anger issues, or get depressed, or, at worst, commit suicide, come from environments like these. Tom Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 " Home is the safe zone... we try to make it a place where there is no judgement and he can be himself without recrimination...I am hoping that by doing this he can expand on his interests and find something that suits him for his choice of work... (leaning towards botnay, herbology, and landscaping) " Your instinct is correct. This is precisely what he needs. Some parents make home a bad place for Aspie kids by being harder on them than the real world is. Some of the Aspies who have anger issues, or get depressed, or, at worst, commit suicide, come from environments like these. Tom Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 Tom You mention this and it makes sense as he seems to be completely afraid of germs and dirt... not all the time but enough to make me wonder. Rose > > " It is funny... he will NOT wash it but it is ok for him > to go underwater at the pool... but not in the bath... ah well... > such is life. " > > He may not like water splashing up on his face from beneath him in the > bath. Also, he cannot totally immerse himself and feel comfortable in > the bathtub. Another thing you may want to do is ensure that the > bathtub is absolutely as clean as can be before he gets in. he may not > want to get into a bath or a shower that he perceieves as being dirty. > > Tom > Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 Tom You mention this and it makes sense as he seems to be completely afraid of germs and dirt... not all the time but enough to make me wonder. Rose > > " It is funny... he will NOT wash it but it is ok for him > to go underwater at the pool... but not in the bath... ah well... > such is life. " > > He may not like water splashing up on his face from beneath him in the > bath. Also, he cannot totally immerse himself and feel comfortable in > the bathtub. Another thing you may want to do is ensure that the > bathtub is absolutely as clean as can be before he gets in. he may not > want to get into a bath or a shower that he perceieves as being dirty. > > Tom > Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 tom You make a good point however the proffesionals cannot give the insight to a parent like all of you have. Experience is a great teacher and your life experience is helping us in ways that doctors cannot. this is why i requested to join the group for your life experiences... WEG I cannot help Mitch in any way if I do not understand how his mind. You all are the best. Rose > > " By the way, I am not a doctor, so everything I just said you ought to > run past a professional. " > > Mimi responded: > > " Tom in that meeting I mentioned the doctors turned to myself and > another mom and acknowledged that we are the experts. but just like > professionals we have different opinions. your input was sound and > pragmatic far more valuable than a " professional " " > > My reply: > > I know that. > > (Insert arrogant grin here: [] ) > > But I offer the " I'm not a doctor " disclaimer to cover myself legally. > Additionally, I do not know Mitch so I may be COMPLETELY off the mark > despite what his mom says. Only a professional (in the truest sense of > the word) can offer best opinions. > > Tom > > Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 tom You make a good point however the proffesionals cannot give the insight to a parent like all of you have. Experience is a great teacher and your life experience is helping us in ways that doctors cannot. this is why i requested to join the group for your life experiences... WEG I cannot help Mitch in any way if I do not understand how his mind. You all are the best. Rose > > " By the way, I am not a doctor, so everything I just said you ought to > run past a professional. " > > Mimi responded: > > " Tom in that meeting I mentioned the doctors turned to myself and > another mom and acknowledged that we are the experts. but just like > professionals we have different opinions. your input was sound and > pragmatic far more valuable than a " professional " " > > My reply: > > I know that. > > (Insert arrogant grin here: [] ) > > But I offer the " I'm not a doctor " disclaimer to cover myself legally. > Additionally, I do not know Mitch so I may be COMPLETELY off the mark > despite what his mom says. Only a professional (in the truest sense of > the word) can offer best opinions. > > Tom > > Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 That movie is an interesting choice... I will have to rent it as I do not remember most of it. thanks for the insight. Rose > > I said... > > " The mundane, most of us don't care for, so if someone gets excited > because some new style of clothes is now being marketed, we won't > care. " > > You replied: > > " ...and you are so on the mark is was scary.... this is mitch to a > t. " > > My reply: > > You know how most non-Aspies can go to a party and mix right in? It > is because they are on the same social wavelength. > > Aspies have their own wavelength and you will find we think alike. > Read the posts here and you will see differences in terms of > interests, and because some of us come from different countries, you > will see different word choices, but essentially, we SOUND alike. > > And there is not too much personailty that gets expressed in our > writings either (with the exception of when we are involved in a > major debate. Then you might see anger. Or cynicism.) > > Think of us as the pod people from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. > > > > We live among you, but you don't know what we are thinking. > > > > The Invasion of the Body Snatchers is a good movie in that it plays > on people's social fears and bashes people who are too social. You > go about your life normally and then these aliens come along and you > are forced to change, both in body and mind, to their way of > thinking, and abandon your own individual conscience for their > social one. If you try to keep your identity, as everyone else gets > converted, you suddenly find that YOU are the outcast and alone, and > the new people that you are afraid of are the norm. > > Of course it can also be seen as an anti-communist movie, but when I > watch it (The Sutherland version) I like to sometimes watch > it from the perspective as pod-people being Aspies and everyone in > the world is forced to be like us. > > THAT makes for quite a bit of entertainment. > > Tom > Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 That movie is an interesting choice... I will have to rent it as I do not remember most of it. thanks for the insight. Rose > > I said... > > " The mundane, most of us don't care for, so if someone gets excited > because some new style of clothes is now being marketed, we won't > care. " > > You replied: > > " ...and you are so on the mark is was scary.... this is mitch to a > t. " > > My reply: > > You know how most non-Aspies can go to a party and mix right in? It > is because they are on the same social wavelength. > > Aspies have their own wavelength and you will find we think alike. > Read the posts here and you will see differences in terms of > interests, and because some of us come from different countries, you > will see different word choices, but essentially, we SOUND alike. > > And there is not too much personailty that gets expressed in our > writings either (with the exception of when we are involved in a > major debate. Then you might see anger. Or cynicism.) > > Think of us as the pod people from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. > > > > We live among you, but you don't know what we are thinking. > > > > The Invasion of the Body Snatchers is a good movie in that it plays > on people's social fears and bashes people who are too social. You > go about your life normally and then these aliens come along and you > are forced to change, both in body and mind, to their way of > thinking, and abandon your own individual conscience for their > social one. If you try to keep your identity, as everyone else gets > converted, you suddenly find that YOU are the outcast and alone, and > the new people that you are afraid of are the norm. > > Of course it can also be seen as an anti-communist movie, but when I > watch it (The Sutherland version) I like to sometimes watch > it from the perspective as pod-people being Aspies and everyone in > the world is forced to be like us. > > THAT makes for quite a bit of entertainment. > > Tom > Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 what a great Idea.... something to work on that will help and make him feel like he is accomplishing something. Thanks. Rose > > " First i laughed out loud at the last sentence... because that is > always how I feel... If you do not like what I look like or how I > dress, or how my hair is done... look the other way... I am me and > whoever does not like it tough Sh*t. Mitch is the same way... the > bad part is although we have these thoughts and we truly don't > care... our hearts are on our sleeves and we do get hurt by the > nasty comments and the hurtful words. I am an adult and I just > ignore and move on... teaching Mitch how to handle it is still > difficult. " > > As much as I think the social aspect of society is pointless, one > has to admit that to survive in society, one ought to try to learn > as much about being social as one can. > > I think Mitch ought to pick up as much as he can, but at the same > time you may want to remind him and yourself of three things: > > 1) He will never learn everything. > > 2) Most of what he learns he will not learn perfectly. > > 3) What he learns will change as he ages. > > Childhood and adolescence are times when ALL kids are still trying > to learn how to be social. When you have cliques, it is usually > because a social bond has been established between a number of > people. The thing is, especially in childhood and adolesence, when > kids are continually maturing, these cliques are temporary and > transient, so what is learned changes quite often. > > You can have five people in a group. One of them matures and finds > that juvenalia no longer interests her. She may then become the > outcast in THAT clique, but there are other cliques willing to > accept her...provided they meet with her approval, and provided she > has enough finesse to be able to penetrate the group. > > I can remember my grandmother talking about having to undergo > lessons in " ettiquette " and " deportment. " These things should be > taught in the present day so that kids have a social definition to > strive for. Then anyone who acts above their age won't be such a > reject, and those who are socially clueless will have a better > chance at succeeding. > > It IS important for people to have friends. was right when > he posted words to this effect. But in addition to helping your > young one learn how to interact with others his own age, another > goal ought to be to teach Mitch adult social ettiquette so that he > can come into adulthood with most of that already under his belt. > > Tom > Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 what a great Idea.... something to work on that will help and make him feel like he is accomplishing something. Thanks. Rose > > " First i laughed out loud at the last sentence... because that is > always how I feel... If you do not like what I look like or how I > dress, or how my hair is done... look the other way... I am me and > whoever does not like it tough Sh*t. Mitch is the same way... the > bad part is although we have these thoughts and we truly don't > care... our hearts are on our sleeves and we do get hurt by the > nasty comments and the hurtful words. I am an adult and I just > ignore and move on... teaching Mitch how to handle it is still > difficult. " > > As much as I think the social aspect of society is pointless, one > has to admit that to survive in society, one ought to try to learn > as much about being social as one can. > > I think Mitch ought to pick up as much as he can, but at the same > time you may want to remind him and yourself of three things: > > 1) He will never learn everything. > > 2) Most of what he learns he will not learn perfectly. > > 3) What he learns will change as he ages. > > Childhood and adolescence are times when ALL kids are still trying > to learn how to be social. When you have cliques, it is usually > because a social bond has been established between a number of > people. The thing is, especially in childhood and adolesence, when > kids are continually maturing, these cliques are temporary and > transient, so what is learned changes quite often. > > You can have five people in a group. One of them matures and finds > that juvenalia no longer interests her. She may then become the > outcast in THAT clique, but there are other cliques willing to > accept her...provided they meet with her approval, and provided she > has enough finesse to be able to penetrate the group. > > I can remember my grandmother talking about having to undergo > lessons in " ettiquette " and " deportment. " These things should be > taught in the present day so that kids have a social definition to > strive for. Then anyone who acts above their age won't be such a > reject, and those who are socially clueless will have a better > chance at succeeding. > > It IS important for people to have friends. was right when > he posted words to this effect. But in addition to helping your > young one learn how to interact with others his own age, another > goal ought to be to teach Mitch adult social ettiquette so that he > can come into adulthood with most of that already under his belt. > > Tom > Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 I understand but getting Mitch to understand is more of the issue. He sees other kids who do not have Aspergers and they are helped with their problems whatever they may be, and then here he is and he gets so frustrated... wanting to be " normal " I tell him he is normal for him... and for us and we are the ones that matter...We try very hard to reassure him that he is and we love him no matter what. He said to me yesterday " I have Aspergers? Why does that sound familiar? " We have told him before but there are no information packets written for teenage boys about what to expect with aspergers. I understand why... but that does not help me. I really want to take a bit of everyone's conversations and let him see them...I beleive it would help him. Rose > > " Not worring is something that mitch sometimes does and then there are > times when he gets frustrated about what others think and wants to > know why he is different and how come they (the docs) can't fix it. " > > I think what he wonders about is why he (like most Aspies) can love > unconditionally until they are betrayed, but that non-Aspies cannot > reciprocate. > > There is nothing the doctors can do to fix Mitch any more than there > is anything the doctors could to fix a non-Aspie. > > Tom > Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 I understand but getting Mitch to understand is more of the issue. He sees other kids who do not have Aspergers and they are helped with their problems whatever they may be, and then here he is and he gets so frustrated... wanting to be " normal " I tell him he is normal for him... and for us and we are the ones that matter...We try very hard to reassure him that he is and we love him no matter what. He said to me yesterday " I have Aspergers? Why does that sound familiar? " We have told him before but there are no information packets written for teenage boys about what to expect with aspergers. I understand why... but that does not help me. I really want to take a bit of everyone's conversations and let him see them...I beleive it would help him. Rose > > " Not worring is something that mitch sometimes does and then there are > times when he gets frustrated about what others think and wants to > know why he is different and how come they (the docs) can't fix it. " > > I think what he wonders about is why he (like most Aspies) can love > unconditionally until they are betrayed, but that non-Aspies cannot > reciprocate. > > There is nothing the doctors can do to fix Mitch any more than there > is anything the doctors could to fix a non-Aspie. > > Tom > Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 " Aspies aren't broken they're just different. And just because two things are different from each other does mean that one is better than the other... " It's a hard concept to sell anywhere... Human are by nature Xenophobes fearing anything that is different or unfamiliar... The was a comment earlier about " normal teenagers " and " Invasion of the Body Snatcher " (a complete rip off of " Puppet Masters " where Heinlein gives the concept a deep treatment) ...It is interesting the in order to " rebel " most teens choose to become clones a stylized ideal that none of them can achieve and take on a sort of " hive mind " thing... It was the hive mind is what was what made the aliens in both stories as repellently different than humans as they seemed... but the hive mind is exactly what cultures strive for with the " If it's like us it is safe and therefore good, " view turning Xenophobia to Xenocide protect it's sameness... I guess that is what make Aspies frightening to NT's we're differ/outsiders and they are just ad confused by us as we are by them Ender At 09:31 AM 7/20/2007, you wrote: I understand but getting Mitch to understand is more of the issue. He sees other kids who do not have Aspergers and they are helped with their problems whatever they may be, and then here he is and he gets so frustrated... wanting to be " normal " I tell him he is normal for him... and for us and we are the ones that matter...We try very hard to reassure him that he is and we love him no matter what. He said to me yesterday " I have Aspergers? Why does that sound familiar? " We have told him before but there are no information packets written for teenage boys about what to expect with aspergers. I understand why... but that does not help me. I really want to take a bit of everyone's conversations and let him see them...I beleive it would help him. Rose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 " Aspies aren't broken they're just different. And just because two things are different from each other does mean that one is better than the other... " It's a hard concept to sell anywhere... Human are by nature Xenophobes fearing anything that is different or unfamiliar... The was a comment earlier about " normal teenagers " and " Invasion of the Body Snatcher " (a complete rip off of " Puppet Masters " where Heinlein gives the concept a deep treatment) ...It is interesting the in order to " rebel " most teens choose to become clones a stylized ideal that none of them can achieve and take on a sort of " hive mind " thing... It was the hive mind is what was what made the aliens in both stories as repellently different than humans as they seemed... but the hive mind is exactly what cultures strive for with the " If it's like us it is safe and therefore good, " view turning Xenophobia to Xenocide protect it's sameness... I guess that is what make Aspies frightening to NT's we're differ/outsiders and they are just ad confused by us as we are by them Ender At 09:31 AM 7/20/2007, you wrote: I understand but getting Mitch to understand is more of the issue. He sees other kids who do not have Aspergers and they are helped with their problems whatever they may be, and then here he is and he gets so frustrated... wanting to be " normal " I tell him he is normal for him... and for us and we are the ones that matter...We try very hard to reassure him that he is and we love him no matter what. He said to me yesterday " I have Aspergers? Why does that sound familiar? " We have told him before but there are no information packets written for teenage boys about what to expect with aspergers. I understand why... but that does not help me. I really want to take a bit of everyone's conversations and let him see them...I beleive it would help him. Rose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 Rose I wanted to mention that my son did not begin to shower often until he learned in science about bromhidrosis/body odor and that it comes from the smell of bacteria growing on dead skin cells. I wouldn't want to exasperate his fear of germs but everyone has bacteria, Demodex folliculorum and Demodex brevis/mites that live in and around our eyelashes/follicles etc... I have had times that I thought I felt something by my eyelashes, plus itching and would pull on an area to no avail. Using a washcloth to clean the eyelids help but I may also have allergies which I think these mites may trigger. If it gets bad I won't wear my contacts. I thought maybe if the hygine aspect was presented as a science subject it may encourage bathing. ;-) Kim >> Tom > You mention this and it makes sense as he seems to be completely > afraid of germs and dirt... not all the time but enough to make me > wonder. > > Rose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 Rose I wanted to mention that my son did not begin to shower often until he learned in science about bromhidrosis/body odor and that it comes from the smell of bacteria growing on dead skin cells. I wouldn't want to exasperate his fear of germs but everyone has bacteria, Demodex folliculorum and Demodex brevis/mites that live in and around our eyelashes/follicles etc... I have had times that I thought I felt something by my eyelashes, plus itching and would pull on an area to no avail. Using a washcloth to clean the eyelids help but I may also have allergies which I think these mites may trigger. If it gets bad I won't wear my contacts. I thought maybe if the hygine aspect was presented as a science subject it may encourage bathing. ;-) Kim >> Tom > You mention this and it makes sense as he seems to be completely > afraid of germs and dirt... not all the time but enough to make me > wonder. > > Rose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 Cool and right up his alley. Rose -- In , " Kim " <6emini@...> wrote: > > > Rose > > I wanted to mention that my son did not begin to shower often until he > learned in science about bromhidrosis/body odor and that it comes from > the smell of bacteria growing on dead skin cells. I wouldn't want to > exasperate his fear of germs but everyone has bacteria, Demodex > folliculorum and Demodex brevis/mites that live in and around our > eyelashes/follicles etc... I have had times that I thought I felt > something by my eyelashes, plus itching and would pull on an area to no > avail. Using a washcloth to clean the eyelids help but I may also have > allergies which I think these mites may trigger. If it gets bad I won't > wear my contacts. > > I thought maybe if the hygine aspect was presented as a science subject > it may encourage bathing. ;-) > > Kim > > > > > > > > > Tom > > You mention this and it makes sense as he seems to be completely > > afraid of germs and dirt... not all the time but enough to make me > > wonder. > > > > Rose > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 Cool and right up his alley. Rose -- In , " Kim " <6emini@...> wrote: > > > Rose > > I wanted to mention that my son did not begin to shower often until he > learned in science about bromhidrosis/body odor and that it comes from > the smell of bacteria growing on dead skin cells. I wouldn't want to > exasperate his fear of germs but everyone has bacteria, Demodex > folliculorum and Demodex brevis/mites that live in and around our > eyelashes/follicles etc... I have had times that I thought I felt > something by my eyelashes, plus itching and would pull on an area to no > avail. Using a washcloth to clean the eyelids help but I may also have > allergies which I think these mites may trigger. If it gets bad I won't > wear my contacts. > > I thought maybe if the hygine aspect was presented as a science subject > it may encourage bathing. ;-) > > Kim > > > > > > > > > Tom > > You mention this and it makes sense as he seems to be completely > > afraid of germs and dirt... not all the time but enough to make me > > wonder. > > > > Rose > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 It is rare that a doctor or a professional who does NOT have AS can completely understand those who do have it. AS people are quiet by nature, and sometimes we find it hard to express ourselves orally. But as you see here, we can talk at great length with logic and make sense. You can learn a lot from us, but remember to use common sense before acting on what you hear, and medical advice should come only from a professional. Tom Administrator tom You make a good point however the proffesionals cannot give the insight to a parent like all of you have. Experience is a great teacher and your life experience is helping us in ways that doctors cannot. this is why i requested to join the group for your life experiences... WEG I cannot help Mitch in any way if I do not understand how his mind. You all are the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 It is rare that a doctor or a professional who does NOT have AS can completely understand those who do have it. AS people are quiet by nature, and sometimes we find it hard to express ourselves orally. But as you see here, we can talk at great length with logic and make sense. You can learn a lot from us, but remember to use common sense before acting on what you hear, and medical advice should come only from a professional. Tom Administrator tom You make a good point however the proffesionals cannot give the insight to a parent like all of you have. Experience is a great teacher and your life experience is helping us in ways that doctors cannot. this is why i requested to join the group for your life experiences... WEG I cannot help Mitch in any way if I do not understand how his mind. You all are the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 <snip>thank you Ender for your honesty. i have a clearer picture of who you are and that in the long run helps me help mitchell... yes you are right, I do not want his Dx to become an excuse for him nor do I want to label him as special needs, however, the stigmata attached to any " mental defect " is huge and people look at me and say oh you poor thing... then i get angry... I am not looking for a pity party nor anyone's sympathy, I am trying to explain why Mitch is the way he is... I usually give up and now I do not say anything at all unless they bring it up. I feel like he needs to find his own way with guideance from us... I do not want to dictate what or how he should be doing things... I just want to see him do, and be happy. If that means he plays video games for 8 hours straight and goes to bed... so be it. (just an example of this past week, he is not always like that, goes in spurts with the games, puzzles, chess, japanese culture, ancient egypt and on & on..) however, his interests are so eclectic and unusual for someone his age... it is hard for him to find others like him. Oh, gee this is so frustrating trying to explain it all. I know he gets lonley and wants friends, but he also is happy to play lego's for hours on end and has a hard time stopping to eat. Home is the safe zone... we try to make it a place where there is no judgement and he can be himself without recrimination...I am hoping that by doing this he can expand on his interests and find something that suits him for his choice of work... (leaning towards botnay, herbology, and landscaping) Ok I just looked back at what I wrote... blathering... sorry... I just have had no one to talk to about this who understands what he is going through, what we are going through. Thank you for listening... i am going to sign off for now. Rose Please blather on! My son is 13 and read this excerpt of your post when I asked him too, he recognized himself there, sounds like two peas in a pod:) He said *hey, that's me!* It has been too hot to go out for us, but we find things throughout the day to occupy us. Went through a bunch of music files and looked up some music info, Charlie then went on google earth and looked up his home and went for a virtual *drive* to his grandparents house and tracked my husband out to his job. After touring the planet a bit, he moved back to music and created falling sand scenes to match the themes of the songs he was listening to. He played a few games he likes and then a repetitive word game for a long time. Now he is back to his room for lego's, I might not see him til dinner. When he is free flowing like this, there are no meltdowns, barely any stress. Seems like recharge time after the demands of public school and all. Interuptions are not welcome, but like me, if he has to go somewhere he might put up a struggle but enjoy what we go to do. I tend to leave him to do *his thing* because I am aware of how important that is to me as well. As a married adult with three kids I struggle constantly to try to find a balance between what needs to be done and my perseverations, etc... The last five years have been very difficult for me personally, with medical problems and outside stressors. Kerry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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