Million dollar Question, does it get any better?

[Guest guest]

I am struggling with ReA, and Fibro. I went shopping after an appt

for a new outfit, my daughter is on homecoming court (crossing

fingers she and b/f will win). Today, both knees are a mess, icing

on and off. Took anti-inflamatories and living in the recliner. My

hands are almost double the size, hurting so bad. Why does 2 hours of

a meeting for insurance reimbursement (which I sat) and 2 hours of

shopping in one store, did try on quite a few outfits (my 2 years of

no excersize has left me with no clothes that fit) make me pay for 2

or 3 days?

Is this ever going to get better. I am ok, as long as I am not

active. And I mean not active, I am a couch potato except for the

small things I do for myself, walking to get drinks, going to

physical therapy 3 times a week for my ribs, and sometimes visiting

grandson and playing quiet things. My life seems gone, I cannot get

down to garden, I can barely bend down to get on my stool to do

things like get stuff out of a cabinet for my cats. Or chores like

the litter box cleaning daily (3 cats and a kitten and 2 boxes).

My PT is going to get me in the water soon for a slow movement to

full workout if possible. Dr has banned me from walking for exercise

due to knees swelling so bad. I continue to slowly move, and when I

add a small shopping trip, I pay for days.

I am in therapy and on meds for the depression, but I just want to be

able to shop for an outfit without all the pain for days. How will I

survive the big weekend in Oct? Homecoming Friday, Wedding Rehearsal

Sat, and Wedding on Sunday (my son's). Not to mention my sis is

coming in from Iowa for the week, and I am excited, she parks her

travel trailer in my driveway, we have an acre and 100 ft of

driveway.

I do know the MTX is working, because as many have said, when you

take it a day late, or only have half the pills the pain is

unbearable. And this is me, I go up another pill to 6 next month. I

guess I will cope with pain pills and rest until the wedding, and

have others do all the driving. This totally stinks!!!!!!!

Thanks for listening, sometimes when I am in such pain, I feel

helpless, and I do not want to become hopeless, but after one year, I

am not much better, I have no job, no income and I am doing a ton of

paperwork for SSD, Medical pmt reimbursements, and we are struggling

with $$ issues. We are trying to get a temporary moritorium on our

mtg, a year would be good, or at least until I get SSD. My pay

covered the mtg pmt, it is a small ranch home with no garage.

Downsizing (we still have 2 kids at home) or moving to a cheaper

place is not an option, we have lived here 15 years. Next year, 2 in

college, it's the little things that take so much money, gas, books,

etc. Hubby cannot get a pt job, he already drives an hour each way,

he is gone from 6 to 6...and then does the house stuff I couldn't do.

My kids help a lot too, but I am hitting the low with my emotional

issues of helplessness and pain.

My life should not be this bad at 50, I don't want it to be this bad.

I want to Live, not exist.

Kay