spouse with AS; need help providing him support

May 2, 2011

I finally had a revelation tonight that perhaps there would be a group for

AS and 'bingo' I was right. I have a husband who was diagnosed with AS about 13

years ago. He sees his rheumatologist regularly and takes his meds (Diclofenac

and Enbrel) as prescribed but otherwise doesn't take a very active role in

learning more about how he can help himself. We have 4 kids; 1 of whom has

special needs and I work part-time (and happen to be a physical therapist).

Over the years I have tried to encourage him about seeking out more information

such as the effects of diet and the importance of exercise. I have provided him

with exercise guidance (which helps when he does it). I have also given him

articles on good/bad foods related to inflammation. I try to make a point of

getting some of the foods that are thought to fight inflammation to have on

hand. However, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink...Well

right now he happens to be in the middle of a terrible spell right now. He has

had a cold lasting several weeks and therefore has been off his Enbrel which has

made him feel terrible. I really do try to be supportive but am failing

miserably. My husband feels he has a high pain tolerance and I honestly have no

idea how bad he feels. He complains A LOT and groans A LOT as he moves about.

However, in the presence of others outside the family he somehow can move about

quietly. I know home should be a safe place to let your guard down but... I

want to be supportive but I find myself thinking that he could be doing better

if he took a more pro-active approach. I was hoping that those of you who

suffer from AS or another pain causing disease could share some of the ways your

loved ones support you? Thanks in advance to any advice you can offer.

Paige

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