Re: Pain Pain Pain.... need support

[Guest guest]

I understand, really I do. I have those same feelings a lot of the time. Don't give up, keep fighting. Stay in prayer over EVERYTHING! As God to fix if for you and show you how to cope and deal with it all. Don't be afraid to tell others how you are feeling mentally and physically. They may understand more than you think. I sometimes feel like people are sick of me too-sick of me being sick. I lonesome and scary. I will keep you and your situation in my prayers."carmen.niemi" <carmen@...> wrote: I think the past few months have been trying to

prepare me for what was coming. I have been able to find more pain than I thought possible. My left leg from hip to toes has been in spasms since December 22. That day my husband took me to the ER. The doctor there was kind and respectful to what was going on. He gave me some reasonable pain medication; in fact he was the first to give me proper medication. So, I actually felt quite well over Christmas. That was it. I saw my doctor the other day and he sneered and said, people who take that level of pain medication should be dying of cancer etc. In the meantime, I am starting to feel sad, and I am on Effexor, and a very large dose of that. I am afraid for my life. I am afraid of losing my handsome, active caring husband, because this sucks for him too. He has found some entertainment that does not include me, but I still fear. He says he loves me and would never leave, but I know, I just know how hard it is for

me, so it has to be equally difficult for him, though in different ways. Friends, co workers, my mother, they all look at me as if to say, "what is it now..." I read recently that the #1 cause of death among people with chronic pain was suicide. Don't get me wrong I am NOT suicidal at all. But I understand what they are saying. Life is constant pain, and I feel like I am watching it go by. For the first time in my life I understand that suicide is not about being sad, in fact it is about wanting to unburden others and about not feeling this pain that no one seems to understand anymore.I love my husband and my kids with my whole heart, soul, fibre and being. I just wish I didn't feel like such a burden to them. Then there is light... I know my fight is for a reason, even if I can't quite figure that out right now. I know God wouldn't give me more than I could handle. Would

he?Have a BLESSED day! Fowler-Hughley

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[Guest guest]

Carmen, you said, "Then there is light... I know my fight is for a reason, even if I can't quite figure that out right now. I know God wouldn't give me more than I could handle. Would he?"No, he won't give His children more than they can handle. Please take comfort in the following list of scriptures that was compiled regarding suffering. It has helped me tremendously:http://www.crossroad.to/HisWord/verses/topics/follow.htmCarmen, I too know what you mean about not wanting to be a burden. My husband is so wonderful to me and never complains when he has to do a little more for me, or has to listen to me complain about a new pain or problem. I feel so guilty! But we have to remember that our husbands vowed "in sickness and in health" and while I can sympathize greatly with those who do not have that support system, those of us who do should put confidence in our spouses that they

meant what they said in those vows.God bless you hon. Hang in there.Gentle hugs,Amity"carmen.niemi" <carmen@...> wrote: I think the past few months have been trying to prepare me for what was coming. I have been able to find more pain than I thought possible. My left leg from hip to toes has been in spasms since December 22. That day my husband took me to the ER. The doctor there was kind and respectful to what was going on. He gave me some reasonable pain

medication; in fact he was the first to give me proper medication. So, I actually felt quite well over Christmas. That was it. I saw my doctor the other day and he sneered and said, people who take that level of pain medication should be dying of cancer etc. In the meantime, I am starting to feel sad, and I am on Effexor, and a very large dose of that. I am afraid for my life. I am afraid of losing my handsome, active caring husband, because this sucks for him too. He has found some entertainment that does not include me, but I still fear. He says he loves me and would never leave, but I know, I just know how hard it is for me, so it has to be equally difficult for him, though in different ways. Friends, co workers, my mother, they all look at me as if to say, "what is it now..." I read recently that the #1 cause of death among people with chronic pain was suicide. Don't get me wrong

I am NOT suicidal at all. But I understand what they are saying. Life is constant pain, and I feel like I am watching it go by. For the first time in my life I understand that suicide is not about being sad, in fact it is about wanting to unburden others and about not feeling this pain that no one seems to understand anymore. I love my husband and my kids with my whole heart, soul, fibre and being. I just wish I didn't feel like such a burden to them. Then there is light... I know my fight is for a reason, even if I can't quite figure that out right now. I know God wouldn't give me more than I could handle. Would he?

Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

[Guest guest]

You need to get a new doctor. Yours is obviously very ignorant about your level of pain. My doctor is amazing - if youre in california I can recommend him. I'm on heavy narcotics because that is what it takes to get me up and moving. Without them I woudl probably kill myself too. There are many good resources on finding a good doctor. I have compiled a list as well. I'm so sorry you've been so depressed. I am on Effexxor XR and I think it works well. I only take 75mg, as I dont' need a very high dose but everyone is different. Please hang in there. But you are correct, people who suffer from chronic pain and are left untreated or undertreated, many times turn to suicide. It is so sad the state of our healthcare system and the ignorance of so many doctors out there. I wish you luck and am here to support you. Hang in there!

Whitney On Jan 4, 2008 9:58 AM, carmen.niemi <carmen@...> wrote:

I think the past few months have been trying to prepare me for what

was coming. I have been able to find more pain than I thought

possible. My left leg from hip to toes has been in spasms since

December 22. That day my husband took me to the ER. The doctor

there was kind and respectful to what was going on. He gave me some

reasonable pain medication; in fact he was the first to give me

proper medication. So, I actually felt quite well over Christmas.

That was it. I saw my doctor the other day and he sneered and said,

people who take that level of pain medication should be dying of

cancer etc.

In the meantime, I am starting to feel sad, and I am on Effexor, and

a very large dose of that. I am afraid for my life. I am afraid of

losing my handsome, active caring husband, because this sucks for him

too. He has found some entertainment that does not include me, but I

still fear. He says he loves me and would never leave, but I know, I

just know how hard it is for me, so it has to be equally difficult

for him, though in different ways.

Friends, co workers, my mother, they all look at me as if to

say, " what is it now... "

I read recently that the #1 cause of death among people with chronic

pain was suicide. Don't get me wrong I am NOT suicidal at all. But

I understand what they are saying. Life is constant pain, and I feel

like I am watching it go by. For the first time in my life I

understand that suicide is not about being sad, in fact it is about

wanting to unburden others and about not feeling this pain that no

one seems to understand anymore.

I love my husband and my kids with my whole heart, soul, fibre and

being. I just wish I didn't feel like such a burden to them.

Then there is light... I know my fight is for a reason, even if I

can't quite figure that out right now. I know God wouldn't give me

more than I could handle. Would he?

-- Eat, sleep, dream and be the music!Life is short, live each day to its' fullest!Cave softly and leave no trace.Find a cure for chronic pain!Ask about The Purrfect Petsitter and Infinite Creations!

[Guest guest]

I agree about getting a new doctor-at least one who is sympathetic to your pain,both your physical and emotional pain. I understand your depression-it is very hard to suffer every day and feel that life is passing you by and will I ever feel well enough to catch up.My children are older, the youngest at home is 17 although I get no help at all from them.I used to care for my visually impaired grandson until I was unable to handle the long shifts that his parents work. Since I told them it was too much for me, neither has spoken to me and I have not seen my precious(and only) grandson in almost 2 months. My eyes fill with tears as I write this-I miss him so much.I had taken care of him since he was 2 weeks old(he will be 2yrs old in April). I guess when I was no longer useful to my son and his girlfriend and couldn't hack the long shifts-it was pretty much screw you.So, I understand the pain and I hope you will search for a new doctor and I also hope that all of us who

suffer with the different types of pain pain associated with FMS can find comfort somehow. You are in my prayers~ BethWhitney <infinite242@...> wrote: You need to get a new doctor. Yours is obviously very ignorant about your level of pain. My doctor is amazing - if youre in california I can recommend him. I'm on heavy narcotics because that is what it takes to get me up and

moving. Without them I woudl probably kill myself too. There are many good resources on finding a good doctor. I have compiled a list as well. I'm so sorry you've been so depressed. I am on Effexxor XR and I think it works well. I only take 75mg, as I dont' need a very high dose but everyone is different. Please hang in there. But you are correct, people who suffer from chronic pain and are left untreated or undertreated, many times turn to suicide. It is so sad the state of our healthcare system and the ignorance of so many doctors out there. I wish you luck and am here to support you. Hang in there! Whitney On Jan 4, 2008 9:58 AM, carmen.niemi <carmen@...> wrote: I think the past few months have been trying to prepare me for what was coming. I have been able to find more pain than I thought possible. My left leg from hip to toes has been in spasms since December 22. That day my husband took me to the ER. The doctor there was kind and respectful to what was going on. He gave me some reasonable pain medication; in fact he was the first to give me proper medication. So, I actually felt quite well over Christmas. That was it. I saw my doctor the other day and he sneered and said, people who take that level of pain medication should be dying of cancer etc. In the meantime, I am starting to feel sad, and I am on Effexor, and a very large dose of that. I am afraid for my life. I am afraid of losing my handsome, active caring husband, because this sucks for him

too. He has found some entertainment that does not include me, but I still fear. He says he loves me and would never leave, but I know, I just know how hard it is for me, so it has to be equally difficult for him, though in different ways. Friends, co workers, my mother, they all look at me as if to say, "what is it now..." I read recently that the #1 cause of death among people with chronic pain was suicide. Don't get me wrong I am NOT suicidal at all. But I understand what they are saying. Life is constant pain, and I feel like I am watching it go by. For the first time in my life I understand that suicide is not about being sad, in fact it is about wanting to unburden others and about not feeling this pain that no one seems to understand anymore. I love my husband and my kids with my whole heart, soul, fibre and being. I just wish I didn't feel like such a burden to them.

Then there is light... I know my fight is for a reason, even if I can't quite figure that out right now. I know God wouldn't give me more than I could handle. Would he? -- Eat, sleep, dream and be the music!Life is short, live each day to its' fullest!Cave softly and leave no trace.Find a cure for chronic pain!Ask about The Purrfect Petsitter and Infinite Creations! Beth Moorman

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[Guest guest]

I totally understand and have been having the pain in my left leg

since Thanksgiving - don't go to the dr with it tho because he just

says I have to live with it. If I can get on disability, then I can

go to a better dr. I first filed in 1997 for the same thing but the

pain is so much worse than back then. I filed again in October -

just got denied so am getting a lawyer this time.

I remember hearing of that Dr K. (the suicide dr) help someone with

Fibromyalgia commit suicide. I thought then how ridiculous but now,

I can understand how that could happen. My husband also tells me

he'll take care of me and he will go to his friend's house which is

okay but otherwise we have no social life.

I think the past few

months have been trying to prepare me for what

> was coming. I have been able to find more pain than I thought

> possible. My left leg from hip to toes has been in spasms since

> December 22. That day my husband took me to the ER. The doctor

> there was kind and respectful to what was going on. He gave me some

> reasonable pain medication; in fact he was the first to give me

> proper medication. So, I actually felt quite well over Christmas.

> That was it. I saw my doctor the other day and he sneered and said,

> people who take that level of pain medication should be dying of

> cancer etc.

> In the meantime, I am starting to feel sad, and I am on Effexor,

and

> a very large dose of that. I am afraid for my life. I am afraid of

> losing my handsome, active caring husband, because this sucks for

him

> too. He has found some entertainment that does not include me, but

I

> still fear. He says he loves me and would never leave, but I know,

I

> just know how hard it is for me, so it has to be equally difficult

> for him, though in different ways.

> Friends, co workers, my mother, they all look at me as if to

> say, " what is it now... "

>

> I read recently that the #1 cause of death among people with

chronic

> pain was suicide. Don't get me wrong I am NOT suicidal at all. But

> I understand what they are saying. Life is constant pain, and I

feel

> like I am watching it go by. For the first time in my life I

> understand that suicide is not about being sad, in fact it is about

> wanting to unburden others and about not feeling this pain that no

> one seems to understand anymore.

>

> I love my husband and my kids with my whole heart, soul, fibre and

> being. I just wish I didn't feel like such a burden to them.

>

> Then there is light... I know my fight is for a reason, even if I

> can't quite figure that out right now. I know God wouldn't give me

> more than I could handle. Would he?

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Have a BLESSED day!

> Fowler-Hughley

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

>

[Guest guest]

You are all so amazing and I thank you for your kind words and support.

I do not live in California though, I actually live in BC, Canada. It is so hard to get a doctor. One time I was interviewed by a family doctor and she declined me because i had too many issues!!!! Ok she didn;t say that but i could see on her face what she was trying to say... declined, can you imagine.

Once I saw a doctor at a walkin clinic that had FIBRO!!! She was amazing. But she did not have a family practice, due to fibro. I have looked everywhere for her and can never find her. What a concept having a doctor who lost her family practice, due to fibro. WOW she was amazing.

Again thank you all for your kind words, it is so nice to hear.... gentle hugs to everyone!

Carmen

"Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely."-- Kaiser I think the past few months have been trying to prepare me for what > was coming. I have been able to find more pain than I thought > possible. My left leg from hip to toes has been in spasms since > December 22. That day my husband took me to the ER. The doctor > there was kind and respectful to what was going on. He gave me some > reasonable pain medication; in fact he was the first to give me > proper medication. So, I actually felt quite well over Christmas. > That was it. I saw my doctor the other day and he sneered and said, > people who take that level of pain medication should be dying of > cancer etc. > In the meantime, I am starting to feel sad, and I am on Effexor, and > a very large dose of that. I am afraid for my life. I am afraid of > losing my handsome, active caring husband, because this sucks for him > too. He has found some entertainment that does not include me, but I > still fear. He says he loves me and would never leave, but I know, I > just know how hard it is for me, so it has to be equally difficult > for him, though in different ways. > Friends, co workers, my mother, they all look at me as if to > say, "what is it now..." > > I read recently that the #1 cause of death among people with chronic > pain was suicide. Don't get me wrong I am NOT suicidal at all. But > I understand what they are saying. Life is constant pain, and I feel > like I am watching it go by. For the first time in my life I > understand that suicide is not about being sad, in fact it is about > wanting to unburden others and about not feeling this pain that no > one seems to understand anymore.> > I love my husband and my kids with my whole heart, soul, fibre and > being. I just wish I didn't feel like such a burden to them. > > Then there is light... I know my fight is for a reason, even if I > can't quite figure that out right now. I know God wouldn't give me > more than I could handle. Would he?> > > > > > > > Have a BLESSED day!> Fowler-Hughley> > > > ---------------------------------> Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.>

[Guest guest]

>

> I think the past few months have been trying to prepare me for what

> was coming. I have been able to find more pain than I thought

> possible. My left leg from hip to toes has been in spasms since

> December 22. That day my husband tok me to the ER. The doctor

> there was kind and respectful to what was going on. He gave me

some

> reasonable pain medication; in fact he was the first to give me

> proper medication. So, I actually felt quite well over Christmas.

> That was it. I saw my doctor the other day and he sneered and

said,

> people who take that level of pain medication should be dying of

> cancer etc.

> In the meantime, I am starting to feel sad, and I am on Effexor,

and

> a very large dose of that. I am afraid for my life. I am afraid

of

> losing my handsome, active caring husband, because this sucks for

him

> too. He has found some entertainment that does not include me, but

I

> still fear. He says he loves me and would never leave, but I know,

I

> just know how hard it is for me, so it has to be equally difficult

> for him, though in different ways.

> Friends, co workers, my mother, they all look at me as if to

> say, " what is it now... "

>

> I read recently that the #1 cause of death among people with

chronic

> pain was suicide. Don't get me wrong I am NOT suicidal at all.

But

> I understand what they are saying. Life is constant pain, and I

feel

> like I am watching it go by. For the first time in my life I

> understand that suicide is not about being sad, in fact it is about

> wanting to unburden others and about not feeling this pain that no

> one seems to understand anymore.

>

> I love my husband and my kids with my whole heart, soul, fibre and

> being. I just wish I didn't feel like such a burden to them.

>

> Then there is light... I know my fight is for a reason, even if I

> can't quite figure that out right now. I know God wouldn't give me

> more than I could handle. Would he?

>

Oh Carmen,

I can feel ur pain and despair. My life situation is not the same as

yours but all the pain, physical and emotional are the same. I go

thru the same feelings, like right now. I believe what u asked above

(God wd not give us more than we can handle).

Somewhere he must be trying to lead us to solutions (and, no, suicide

is NOT the answer).

That is why I'm glad Dominie set up this group. I'm new here and sure

how to navigate everything. I'm hoping that somehow all of us

together sharing, that there will become a more positive life for us

thru ideas, tips, knowledge and comfort and whatever it takes to

learn from each other gather knowledge and feel good (healthy content

with our life:)

Opps, I meant I'm not sure how to navagate this site. Sorry

englishivy03

[Guest guest]

It was a surprise to me last year to have a doc (actually she was a

P.A.) with fibro when I went to the OB/GYN clinic here. She had been

out the day before due to a flare. It was great to see a medical

professional who actually understands what fibro is and what it can

do to you. Her co-workers seemed to understand and accept her

occupational undependability due to fibro. I can see that it would

be impossible for her to do any more than she is right now. I don't

think she could keep up a stressful practice on a daily basis.

I think the past few months have

been

> trying to prepare me for what

> > was coming. I have been able to find more pain than I thought

> > possible. My left leg from hip to toes has been in spasms since

> > December 22. That day my husband took me to the ER. The doctor

> > there was kind and respectful to what was going on. He gave me

some

> > reasonable pain medication; in fact he was the first to give me

> > proper medication. So, I actually felt quite well over Christmas.

> > That was it. I saw my doctor the other day and he sneered and

said,

> > people who take that level of pain medication should be dying of

> > cancer etc.

> > In the meantime, I am starting to feel sad, and I am on Effexor,

and

> > a very large dose of that. I am afraid for my life. I am afraid of

> > losing my handsome, active caring husband, because this sucks for

him

> > too. He has found some entertainment that does not include me,

but I

> > still fear. He says he loves me and would never leave, but I

know, I

> > just know how hard it is for me, so it has to be equally difficult

> > for him, though in different ways.

> > Friends, co workers, my mother, they all look at me as if to

> > say, " what is it now... "

> >

> > I read recently that the #1 cause of death among people with

chronic

> > pain was suicide. Don't get me wrong I am NOT suicidal at all. But

> > I understand what they are saying. Life is constant pain, and I

feel

> > like I am watching it go by. For the first time in my life I

> > understand that suicide is not about being sad, in fact it is

about

> > wanting to unburden others and about not feeling this pain that no

> > one seems to understand anymore.

> >

> > I love my husband and my kids with my whole heart, soul, fibre and

> > being. I just wish I didn't feel like such a burden to them.

> >

> > Then there is light... I know my fight is for a reason, even if I

> > can't quite figure that out right now. I know God wouldn't give me

> > more than I could handle. Would he?

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Have a BLESSED day!

> > Fowler-Hughley

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

> >

>