Re: Don't know how to handle this.

[Guest guest]

Hi Sue,

My name is . Sorry you are going through such a hard time with your partner. I have been disabled since 2000.I lost my house I had had for 17 years even. I was fired from my last job because they found out I had LUPUS. Those idiots actually thought I was contagious and couldn't do my work. I could of, and should have sued the company, but I didn't. I really regret that I did not pursue my case. I worked as a computer help desk associate in a big company. I don't know what to tell you except....do you have any literature you can give this person about Fibro? Tell her to go to www.fibrocenter.com,

and hopefully it will make her a little bit wiser about what it is all about. You sound like you have alot of energy, more than I can handle. I used to have a Fibromyalgia support group, and after 4 years, I had to give it up. I was working and going to school at the time, and it just got to be way too much for me to handle. I feel for you because I have the feeling some people I know think that about me.

You mentioned you are on a autoimmune diet. What is that?

Since I have Lupus, I would be interested in the diet. I have also had a stroke in 1997 which left a blood clot in my left Carotid artery in my neck. I also have severe OA. Ostroporous, a rare blood clotting disorder which I have to take a blood thinner for. I take MANY meds for all my conditions. I am sorry you are having such a hard time trying to get through to this person that you are NOT using Fibro as a crutch!!! Give her some info on Fibro if you don't have any, I can give you some web addresses to get materials for this person. I know how you feel..............

May God bless you,

from TN.

**************Gas prices getting you down? Search AOL Autos for fuel-efficient used cars. (http://autos.aol.com/used?ncid=aolaut00050000000007)

[Guest guest]

Sue, this is a heart-wrenching story. I feel so bad for you. I understand--we all understand--exactly what you are trying to tell your partner. Send her this article about fibro. http://chronicfatigue.about.com:80/od/whatisfibromyalgia/a/understandfibro.htm This article is for people who do not have fibro and who don't quite understand what it's all about. An even better suggestion would be to talk with one of your doctors and see if he/she would be willing to talk to your partner and explain things to her. Perhaps she will believe an M.D. before you, although the fact that she does not believe you is insulting.

Then...send her this article http://healthfullife.umdnj.edu/archives/obd_archive.htm. People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

And one more thing--why is it that she can tell you how many classes you must take and then what you must do in the class? Tell her you cannot do these things. Tell her that she can think whatever she wants about you making excuses, but you must think about yourself and your family first.

Good luck and God bless you, Sue. You will be in my prayers.

Pam

Don't know how to handle this.

My name is Sue. I am 47 years old. I have had Fibro/Chronic Fatiguefor 13 years now. I have all the other things that go along with it toas well as kidney and liver issues. My goal this year is to put it inremission. I have a wonderful Chiropractor/Kinesiologist, a Holisticdoctor and a massage therapist as well as a DBT therapist. Here is my issue. I am Classical Dressage trainer and Hunter/Jumpertrainer. I am very active. I also care for my ill father who liveswith me and I have a daughter with very high functioning Asperger's{think Bill Gates} and bi-polar tendencies. I also have a designbusiness doing saddle pads and other beautiful things for horses.In a business meeting the other night with my partner and my husband.My partner said that she believes that I use my Fibro as a crutch,that all people have something and they just have to push throughwhatever it is. I don't ride hard enough,work hard enough,try hardenough, do enough........this from a woman that is over 300 pounds andhas diabetes that she ignores. None of this it true of course. I worktoo much, have too much stress,work too long hours, ride toolong,never complain {never},push myself beyond the pain,manage myhome,Doctor appts.for everyone,my design business,the barn,mylessons,my riding. I have a getting fit plan and have been followingit.I am on an auto-immune diet. She wants me to take five lessons a week. I had one the other day,shehad me ride hard for over an hour. You don't even do that when youride in a clinic. I am still paying for it. I just don't know what todo. She sees anything I say as an excuse. She does not see what I doas enough and she does not understand Fibro as a chronic illness. I cannot end this partnership right now because of things we havegoing right now that we have money invested in. I have to at leaststick in it for the summer. I just don't know how to reach someone whois a bully and does no understand my life and illness. HELP!!

[Guest guest]

Sorry to say it, but I think you are doing too much. Does your husband teach riding classes? Does your partner? If you're the only one, maybe you need to consider hiring someone to do them. Maybe this partner is actually jealous of you. Maybe she wants to see you fail. Please take care of yourself first. So many of us have worked ourselves to death. I think this is part of the reason we get fibro. So slow down and look at possible solutions to this without finishing yourself off and not able to work at all. Helenfeatherednst <featherednst@...> wrote: My name is Sue. I am 47 years old. I have had Fibro/Chronic Fatiguefor 13 years now. I have all the other things that go along with it toas well as kidney and liver issues. My goal this year is to put it inremission. I have a wonderful Chiropractor/Kinesiologist, a Holisticdoctor and a massage therapist as well as a DBT therapist. Here is my issue. I am Classical Dressage trainer and Hunter/Jumpertrainer. I am very active. I also care for my ill father who liveswith me and I have a daughter with very high functioning Asperger's{think Bill Gates} and bi-polar tendencies. I also have a designbusiness doing saddle pads and other beautiful things for horses.In a business meeting the other night with my partner and my husband.My partner said that she believes that I use my Fibro as a crutch,that all

people have something and they just have to push throughwhatever it is. I don't ride hard enough,work hard enough,try hardenough, do enough........this from a woman that is over 300 pounds andhas diabetes that she ignores. None of this it true of course. I worktoo much, have too much stress,work too long hours, ride toolong,never complain {never},push myself beyond the pain,manage myhome,Doctor appts.for everyone,my design business,the barn,mylessons,my riding. I have a getting fit plan and have been followingit.I am on an auto-immune diet. She wants me to take five lessons a week. I had one the other day,shehad me ride hard for over an hour. You don't even do that when youride in a clinic. I am still paying for it. I just don't know what todo. She sees anything I say as an excuse. She does not see what I doas enough and she does not understand Fibro as a chronic illness. I cannot end this partnership right now

because of things we havegoing right now that we have money invested in. I have to at leaststick in it for the summer. I just don't know how to reach someone whois a bully and does no understand my life and illness. HELP!!

[Guest guest]

Sue,

This is . I just wanted to add that you are just WAY too busy and you need to slow down, for your health's sake, please. And you need to tell your partner you just can't do as much as you used to because you are not able to anymore, because of the Fibro/CFS and the other issues you mentioned. You are compromising your health by doing so much.

Just wanted to add those few comments, and talk to your partner.

We have all been there at one time or another,

form TN.**************Gas prices getting you down? Search AOL Autos for fuel-efficient used cars. (http://autos.aol.com/used?ncid=aolaut00050000000007)

[Guest guest]

Hi Sue,

I'm so sorry to read about your position. It must be especially

frustrating for someone so active, and for someone who is depended

upon so much. I have to agree with some of the others who said that

maybe you are taking on a little too much. I've had fibro for about as

long as you have, and I'm about your age, and it took a back injury

and a hospitalization for insomnia to tell me that I wasn't

" superwoman. " Before I got injured, I worked a very demanding full-

time job, wrote like a demon in my spare time (I write novels), and

did far more of my fair share of the household chores. While I can't

get into somebody else's head and into her shoes, I can sympathize

with being faced with having to give something up. But unfortunately

(or fortunately) fibro (or at least I've found so) is a disease that

forces you to set your priorities. It has a really good way of telling

you when enough is enough, and it's important that you listen, or you

will continually be going in to flare and be hurting. I'm glad you're

taking DBT training -- I did it myself and found it very effective --

as well as the other bodywork that you're getting.

But only you can decide what can be delegated, what can be dropped,

and what is so important to you that you'd be willing to modify how

you do it in order to keep it in your life.

Again, while I can't be your shoes, I hope was able to help somewhat.

Laurie