Depressed (vent)

[Guest guest]

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel awful. I don't have the money to buy what I need to feel better. If I don't bring in an income--LIKE NOW--I won't be able to either pay the mortgage or the house insurance this month. But yesterday I spent most of the day reading three library books!! I'm so tired to getting ready to go somewhere. It takes more energy than I have--and then there's no energy left for where I'm going! My kids are driving me crazy. I just don't have the strength to deal with them--and I really need a break from them. Most of the time my husband is not very supportive to say the least. My sister and brother-in-law were down for Christmas. Her son is the same age my son was when he went to

their house for Christmas during a very disastrous vacation. That preyed on my mind this year. And even this year they still got a little pushy! Everybody wants me to do things for them--everybody either seems deaf or very angry when I need something from them. I'm upset with my church--and don't know what to do about it. I was planning on seeing the little kindergartner I mentor tomorrow. But I don't know how I'm going to do that either. I just don't feel well. God how tired I am of saying that!! How horrible is it to have a disease that people simply don't believe exists? And how unfair is it that families can be the least supportive of all? I don't even know how I'm going to get my son off to school this week. Even that takes more energy than I have! And why can't the bus come at about the same time every day? Like I have nothing better to do than to wait around for a half hour! This is not living--not when I feel half dead. I do so wish that this would either kill me or that I could find a way to live. Because this in-between is pure hell! Thanks for listening, Cricket071@...