Re: CRON and friends

October 28, 2004

Has your boyfriend read Walford or is he otherwise qualified to give you

such advice? Have your friends? Time to speak up and tell them that

you've done the research and are in touch with a most knowledgable group of

people :-))) and you know what you're doing.

If you can't do that, just smile and do what you want. Let it roll. And

go get a boyfriend who makes you feel good about yourself. If he's a

control freak during the courtship, it will only get worse! (Sorry I know

that last piece of advice is OT, but 2 husbands and many past relationships

in the school of living qualify me to give it :-)))

on 10/27/2004 7:04 PM, Yongae Jun at yongaecron@... wrote:

> my biggest hurdle with CRON is not the actual food regimen. i enjoy it.

> eating this way makes me feel better and more energized, generally. it's

> explaining my choices to my friends and family. for example, i have been

> vegetarian for half a year now. when my on-off boyfriend found out, he was

> encouraging at first. but i lived with him for a month, and he was constantly

> giving me eating advice. don't count calories, just eat " healthy " . you can't

> survive on just vegetables. you need to eat meat. why are you doing this.

> you need to eat more...etc. i eat about 1200-1600 calories a day which is

> sufficient for me. when he berades me on the do's and don'ts of eating

> " right " , it breaks my resolve and i find myself eating extra or compromising

> on my choices to appease him. or i start questioning the thought that i can

> live a CRON lifestyle. it pisses me off because i shouldn't have to eat to

> make someone else feel better. i often wish i had a stronger backbone. i

> encoun!

> ter

> similar things with friends. why do people like to tell me how and what i

> should eat. anyways, how do you deal with this issue? how do you handle

> people who like to tell you what you should and shouldn't eat? how do you

> deal with ordering salads, when everyone else around you is gorging? or when

> you decline to drink and everyone around you urging you to just have a drink?

> it's exhausting to have to fight off the people i love.newbie, Yongae

>

October 28, 2004

Hi Yongae

My reaction when people question my weight loss is simply to say

something like: " Well it is becoming clearer and clearer that

excessive weight is dangerous and that the ideal weight is a great

deal lower than people have realized up until now. So I am trying to

get down to a weight that is a little closer to what I believe is the

healthiest possible weight. "

Most of my friends know from previous experience (!) that when I say

something like that I will almost certainly be able to support it

with pretty good evidence. So they tend not to argue : ^ )))

But if they do question further I suggest to them that they first

read the WUSTL study. And when they have fully absorbed that, read

Walford's 'Beyond ...........'.

Rodney.

--- In , Yongae Jun <yongaecron@s...>

wrote:

> my biggest hurdle with CRON is not the actual food regimen. i

enjoy it. eating this way makes me feel better and more energized,

generally. it's explaining my choices to my friends and family. for

example, i have been vegetarian for half a year now. when my on-off

boyfriend found out, he was encouraging at first. but i lived with

him for a month, and he was constantly giving me eating advice.

don't count calories, just eat " healthy " . you can't survive on just

vegetables. you need to eat meat. why are you doing this. you need

to eat more...etc. i eat about 1200-1600 calories a day which is

sufficient for me. when he berades me on the do's and don'ts of

eating " right " , it breaks my resolve and i find myself eating extra

or compromising on my choices to appease him. or i start questioning

the thought that i can live a CRON lifestyle. it pisses me off

because i shouldn't have to eat to make someone else feel better. i

often wish i had a stronger backbone. i encounter

> similar things with friends. why do people like to tell me how

and what i should eat. anyways, how do you deal with this issue?

how do you handle people who like to tell you what you should and

shouldn't eat? how do you deal with ordering salads, when everyone

else around you is gorging? or when you decline to drink and

everyone around you urging you to just have a drink? it's exhausting

to have to fight off the people i love.newbie, Yongae

October 28, 2004

It may be helpful to realize that in many cases when friends are offering you "advice" about your behavior that differs from theirs, they are in fact showing some insecurity about their personal choices and trying to squash their self doubt by getting you to sign on.

Next time it happens try a strategy like saying "you need to eat meat because you're big and strong"... or "I enjoy watching you have fun drinking, I just can't stand hang-overs, or insert different excuse here- after you take the pressure of them"

Or, you may just be hanging out with ill informed bullies, but don't worry as you will surely out live them... :-)

JR

-----Original Message-----From: Yongae Jun [mailto:yongaecron@...]Sent: Wednesday, October 27, 2004 6:05 PM Subject: [ ] CRON and friends

my biggest hurdle with CRON is not the actual food regimen. i enjoy it. eating this way makes me feel better and more energized, generally. it's explaining my choices to my friends and family. for example, i have been vegetarian for half a year now. when my on-off boyfriend found out, he was encouraging at first. but i lived with him for a month, and he was constantly giving me eating advice. don't count calories, just eat "healthy". you can't survive on just vegetables. you need to eat meat. why are you doing this. you need to eat more...etc. i eat about 1200-1600 calories a day which is sufficient for me. when he berades me on the do's and don'ts of eating "right", it breaks my resolve and i find myself eating extra or compromising on my choices to appease him. or i start questioning the thought that i can live a CRON lifestyle. it pisses me off because i shouldn't have to eat to make someone else feel better. i often wish i had a stronger backbone. i encounter similar things with friends. why do people like to tell me how and what i should eat. anyways, how do you deal with this issue? how do you handle people who like to tell you what you should and shouldn't eat? how do you deal with ordering salads, when everyone else around you is gorging? or when you decline to drink and everyone around you urging you to just have a drink? it's exhausting to have to fight off the people i love. newbie, Yongae

October 28, 2004

I used to work with a guy who critiqued my apple peeling at lunch time. The second time he said: "you're throwing away the best a[part". I handed him the peel. Oddly, he didn't eat it, the "best" part. I had already explained I didn't want the wax.

Regards.

----- Original Message -----

From: Yongae Jun

Sent: Wednesday, October 27, 2004 6:04 PM

Subject: [ ] CRON and friends

my biggest hurdle with CRON is not the actual food regimen. i enjoy it. eating this way makes me feel better and more energized, generally. it's explaining my choices to my friends and family. for example, i have been vegetarian for half a year now. when my on-off boyfriend found out, he was encouraging at first. but i lived with him for a month, and he was constantly giving me eating advice. don't count calories, just eat "healthy". you can't survive on just vegetables. you need to eat meat. why are you doing this. you need to eat more...etc. i eat about 1200-1600 calories a day which is sufficient for me. when he berades me on the do's and don'ts of eating "right", it breaks my resolve and i find myself eating extra or compromising on my choices to appease him. or i start questioning the thought that i can live a CRON lifestyle. it pisses me off because i shouldn't have to eat to make someone else feel better. i often wish i had a stronger backbone. i encounter similar things with friends. why do people like to tell me how and what i should eat. anyways, how do you deal with this issue? how do you handle people who like to tell you what you should and shouldn't eat? how do you deal with ordering salads, when everyone else around you is gorging? or when you decline to drink and everyone around you urging you to just have a drink? it's exhausting to have to fight off the people i love. newbie, Yongae

October 28, 2004

Hi Jongae:

Another thought that might help. I do not, and probably never will,

adhere rigidly to a low calorie diet every day of the week. During

the week I am usually pretty successful limiting my calories to below

what I am aiming at for average daily intake. The result is that if

I have a *weekly* target for calories rather than a daily one, I can

eat a lot more on the weekend and not worry about it.

To take an example. Suppose I want to consume an average of 1700

calories a day. That is 11,900 per week. If I expect to eat 3000 on

Saturday and 2000 more on Sunday, I don't mind doing that so long as

I do not go over my allocation for Monday to Friday, which would be

the difference between 11,900 and 5,000 - or 1380 per day ........

-MON -TUE -WED -THU -FRI -SAT -SUN = WEEK

---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- -------

1380 1380 1380 1380 1380 3000 2000 = 11900

Of course you do not have to choose Saturday and Sunday as your

higher intake days - whatever days you find works best for you.

This approach enables me to not worry too much if I get a quantity

served to me on the weekend that I would not normally eat.

Similarly, if I eat absolutely none of the 'forbidden' foods on my

list for five days a week I am not too worried if someone serves me

something on that list on the weekend. I will eat it and enjoy it

(except for stuff containing hydrogenated oils - if I am served pie I

will leave the crust, and congratulate the chef on what a great pie

it was!).

This works well when the problems only occur a couple of days of the

week. But if someone is nagging you pretty much every day it is less

easy to solve. Perhaps try to prepare your food and eat it when he

is not there to see what you are doing?