Re: Depressed (vent)--Rae Ann

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Dear Rae Ann, Thank you so much for your kind reply. I do almost envy people who have something that people "believe" in like Cancer. (almost--not quite--LOL a little) However--I do feel like I'm half dead a lot--and wish that I could either live or die. One or the other--this in between is MISERABLE! Thanks for the advice. I will keep Provigil in mind. (although right now I don't even have the co-pay to go to the doctor--let alone get a prescription <sigh>) I have found two things that help me. One is called Vita Life (from a network marketing company--and that I discovered at a Health Fair)--and one if Ribose (from Dr Teitelbaum's new book). However--since I have to make each one of them last for as long as possible--they don't help nearly enough <bigger sigh> So for a lack of $50 a month--I don't feel okay. And for a lack of $70--I don't begin to actually feel good. <biggest sigh> Thank you so much for your understanding and your prayers. take care, hugs, raeannturner@... wrote: AMEN Christie! Sweetheart you ARE NOT ALONE!!!! I feel the same way everyday

and I remember when I was diagnosed thinking 'Why couldn't the Dr. have said "You have Cancer..." instead?' At least then I could know that I was possibly going to be cured or I was eventually going to be put out of my misery. I have lost contact with close friends and family members because they just don't get it or understand. Since my diagnosis, I have decided that I have to find some way to get through this. I reiterate to my family that "one day when I'm not here" they'll need to learn to do things more on their own. I also refuse to host/visit family during the holidays. That may sound sad, but family members bring way more than presents during the holidays. Whether they look/sound sick or not, they bring GERMS and my immune system is shot. My whole house is sick right now because my husband INSISTED on going to his mothers house for New

Years. Talk to your Dr. about Provigil. When I was at your stage last year, I was ready to admit myself because I felt like I was going crazy. How could someone who slept ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT long not be able to function for long enough to get their kids ready for school? Once I was on Provigil for the Chronic Fatigue I was at least able to function at 50% instead of nothing. And on the days I don't take it I just go back to bed for the day so I know it works for me! I was in your shoes honey so I am praying for you... Provigil is expensive but if you can a Dr. willing to get it for you, you may even be able to go back to work. It's the only reason why I am still working. Rae Ann In a message dated 1/6/2008 7:37:43 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, cbast1030 writes: I don't know what to do anymore. I feel awful. I don't have the money to buy what I need to feel better. If I don't bring in an income--LIKE NOW--I won't be able to either pay the mortgage or the house insurance this month. But yesterday I spent most of the day reading three library books!! I'm so tired to getting ready to go somewhere. It takes more energy than I have--and then there's no energy left for where I'm going! My kids are driving me crazy. I just don't have the strength to deal with them--and I really need a break from them. Most of the time my husband is

not very supportive to say the least. My sister and brother-in-law were down for Christmas. Her son is the same age my son was when he went to their house for Christmas during a very disastrous vacation. That preyed on my mind this year. And even this year they still got a little pushy! Everybody wants me to do things for them--everybody either seems deaf or very angry when I need something from them. I'm upset with my church--and don't know what to do about it. I was planning on seeing the little kindergartner I mentor tomorrow. But I don't know how I'm going to do that either. I just don't feel well. God how tired I am of saying that!! How horrible is it to have a disease that people simply don't believe exists? And how unfair is it that families can be the least

supportive of all? I don't even know how I'm going to get my son off to school this week. Even that takes more energy than I have! And why can't the bus come at about the same time every day? Like I have nothing better to do than to wait around for a half hour! This is not living--not when I feel half dead. I do so wish that this would either kill me or that I could find a way to live. Because this in-between is pure hell! Thanks for listening, Cricket071aol Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.