Re: Perfectionism (newsletter response)

[Guest guest]

STACIE! You are me. I am you. I cannot be sick in an untidy room. Staring at a crooked picture on a wall? Impossible. I will straighten a picture in a doctor's office if I have to. You might be on to something here about God giving us this OCD behavior to offset the illness. I had not considered this before, but I will now. Thanks. :-)

Pam H

Perfectionism (newsletter response)

Being a perfectionist I often analyze things. Since I am tired all of the time I have plenty of time to analyze and think. I wanted to ask a question of all and see what you thought.Let me explain...It seems that most of us with the common diseases that we have are true perfectionists who have strived for many years to nurture families and friends. Often we are the ones doing everything and love doing everything because we cannot stand things not being done, or cannot stand seeing them done wrong. It has been my perspective for many years that it was this perfectionism that has led to FMS/CFS and the like. It seemes so obvious to me that doing everything all of the time causes stress and eventually one will break from all of the work involved in being a perfectionist.Last week I was thrown for a loop when I was watching a local news show on tv. There were men and women on there who were perfectionists and who were highly rated in their communities and who had absolutely no signs or sympotoms of being tired. It didn't phase me at first but the more I got to thinking about how this actually is caused by a virus and is likened to have been fed by overachievers straining themselves, I kept pondering over the fact that why these people on tv were not exposed to it when I know for a fact I have met several of them in person and they have been breathing the same air as me. I realize I have a disposition because of the gene thing, but seriously I couldn't get it out of my mind.Then I had to rethink everything. I couldn't let it go. Then, after reading Dominie's newsletter this morning it hit me. I realized through the grace of God that gifts from God are abound and constantly in my life. It is a grace, a gift to be able to see them.Here is the Question...Has anyone considered or given serious thought to maybe perfectionism didn't help create the problem but maybe becuse God knew we were going to be ill in our lives so he gave it to us as a grace to help us after we became sick to keep us striving harder to do better instead of letting us lay down and take it from this virus? I know that I can be deathly ill but I will get up off the couch or bed long enough to straighten a picture and endure the pain to do that when I need help getting to the bathroom. It is like a drive inside of me to perfect things. Not just that, but really I tend to get obsessed over doing more and more simply because I don't know how much longer I can do things. This is a grace to me simply because I know that my perfectionism can help me get the most out of life while I still can.I know everyone says I think too much but sometimes I feel like it helps me cope. Perhaps I am making excuses but only God knows the truth of his plans and what he has done or will do to help us survive this life. So, have you considered this?Stacie

[Guest guest]

I have always thought that my perfectionism was born out of my ADD. My desire to achieve big things {my acting,modeling,my ridining,my design} has always been a fire inside of me. Since I was little. Yours is an interesting concept. I have always thought of it as some terrible torture to have this disease being who we are and having to watch the world go by.

I watch high profile people run on coffee and who know what else and not collapse and wonder why not them?

It is a much more empowering thought to think the way you are thinking.

I had someone tell me once that God chooses the mothers of the children with problems because he knew they were strong enough and he could entrust them with the job of raising them. It has comforted me all these years while I watch friends children sail through life while my beautiful daughter struggles.

Now perhaps I can think about my illness another way and not feel cursed but believed in once again.

Sue

From: Pam Horne <pmarshall@...>Subject: Re: Perfectionism (newsletter response)dominie Date: Monday, December 22, 2008, 12:13 PM

STACIE! You are me. I am you. I cannot be sick in an untidy room. Staring at a crooked picture on a wall? Impossible. I will straighten a picture in a doctor's office if I have to. You might be on to something here about God giving us this OCD behavior to offset the illness. I had not considered this before, but I will now. Thanks. :-)

Pam H

Perfectionism (newsletter response)

Being a perfectionist I often analyze things. Since I am tired all of the time I have plenty of time to analyze and think. I wanted to ask a question of all and see what you thought.Let me explain...It seems that most of us with the common diseases that we have are true perfectionists who have strived for many years to nurture families and friends. Often we are the ones doing everything and love doing everything because we cannot stand things not being done, or cannot stand seeing them done wrong. It has been my perspective for many years that it was this perfectionism that has led to FMS/CFS and the like. It seemes so obvious to me that doing everything all of the time causes stress and eventually one will break from all of the work involved in being a perfectionist.Last week I was thrown for a loop when I was watching a local news show on tv. There were men and women on there who were

perfectionists and who were highly rated in their communities and who had absolutely no signs or sympotoms of being tired. It didn't phase me at first but the more I got to thinking about how this actually is caused by a virus and is likened to have been fed by overachievers straining themselves, I kept pondering over the fact that why these people on tv were not exposed to it when I know for a fact I have met several of them in person and they have been breathing the same air as me. I realize I have a disposition because of the gene thing, but seriously I couldn't get it out of my mind.Then I had to rethink everything. I couldn't let it go. Then, after reading Dominie's newsletter this morning it hit me. I realized through the grace of God that gifts from God are abound and constantly in my life. It is a grace, a gift to be able to see them.Here is the Question...Has anyone considered or

given serious thought to maybe perfectionism didn't help create the problem but maybe becuse God knew we were going to be ill in our lives so he gave it to us as a grace to help us after we became sick to keep us striving harder to do better instead of letting us lay down and take it from this virus? I know that I can be deathly ill but I will get up off the couch or bed long enough to straighten a picture and endure the pain to do that when I need help getting to the bathroom. It is like a drive inside of me to perfect things. Not just that, but really I tend to get obsessed over doing more and more simply because I don't know how much longer I can do things. This is a grace to me simply because I know that my perfectionism can help me get the most out of life while I still can.I know everyone says I think too much but sometimes I feel like it helps me cope. Perhaps I am making excuses but only God

knows the truth of his plans and what he has done or will do to help us survive this life. So, have you considered this?Stacie