Re: warm horses

[Guest guest]

Pam,Thank you so much for your compliment. I love designing.I used to design shoes and jewelry. Now I combine two passions. Horses and fashion. I eventually want to branch out into show wear for the rider as well. Conservative show jackets beautifully tailored lined in outrageous bright silk prints. Lots of other ideas too. I made it to the barn both days this weekend. Hurray. My daughter went with me today and it was freezing! That was an act of love. She does adore Oliver.

Doerte she thinks does not like her. Truly Doerte loves everyone. Tomorrow after my therapist I go hang her wreath and see her. She is at another barn nearer to the ocean. I am exhausted. Once I am out and about I have a tendency to overdue. Tree is up and started to decorate the house. Helped hubby move some furniture as well. Daughter had me up for hours with a panic attack last night. I did some Reiki on her to get her calm and talked her through the "wave". Feeling a little panicky over all that is to be done before Christmas. Anyone else feel this way? I want everything to be Martha perfect. Presents and all. I never use bags. I have this idea if I don't have things perfect, house and all I am just the sick person on the couch. A burden. My father told my brother Doug that I ruined Christmas last year. I had a lung infection. I was so sick. I still had presents,still did the tree,still had Christmas dinner but it

was not up to my usual standards. I am afraid of having that label this year. That I will ruin Christmas. On top of it my other brother, is coming with his new wife and she has never spent Christmas away from home before. The last time she was here my mom made her cry. So I want to do my best to make her feel cozy and welcome. So I am all on edge and anxious about were to stop and rein myself in.Sorry about the rambling. Some pics of Oliver and my daughter,me and our little baby pug Gracie,her first Christmas.Big hugs,Sue From: Pam Horne <pmarshall@...>Subject: Re: Re: warm horsesdominie Date: Sunday, December 14, 2008, 9:34 AM

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Your designs are beautiful. I grew up with horses on a small farm in Massachusetts. I've missed them for years, but now I feel too old to take it up again. Anyhow, I wish I had had such beautiful accessories when I was riding. You have lucky babies for sure. I know how easy it is to fall in love with a horse.

Pam H

Re: Re: warm horses

[Guest guest]

Sue, truly you are underappreciated. You did so much for Christmas and they complained you were sick and ruined Christmas. I would have been so mad that I would have cancelled Christmas with them this year and told them to fend for themselves. I'm spiteful that way though. I used to be really caring and always worried about making life great and wonderful for everyone around me and now I have learned that they don't care about my life so I'm not worried about theirs. It was my survival kicking in that made me turn on them. I actually skipped Christmas a couple of years back because they were acting so hateful towards me. They had no sympathy that I was sick with 104 temperature. I stayed home and they got the point. All of a sudden everyone was a lot nicer to me.

It wasn't just all of that. I literally had to stop being so nice and pretend to be selfish whenever they were around me. It is paying off. I am getting a lot more respect. I suppose I wouldn't have been able to do it if my father was still alive, because I am Daddy's little girl. I would never have purposely tried to be that way in front of him and sacrifice his image of me. He is not though, so I have the advantage.

I feel bad for your sister in law, but please take my advice when I say that if she does not learn to be stronger on her own without the coddling then she may not be able to function later on. She could always depend on you. Maybe that is why the whole family expects you to do so much regardless of your condition. You over protective and over care, and constantly give without regard to your own health. They do not consider the sacrifices you make, they just expect you to keep giving. I had learned the hard way to just stop. I had been giving 210% for years and suffering greatly for it, and one day I couldn't do it and everyone was so mean to me over it. They judged and ridiculed me when they never bothered to lift a finger to help or even offer their help. All they ever offered was their negative opinions. I couldn't take it anymore. So, I skipped Christmas and left them to fend for themselves. They learned to appreciate me and all that I do.

I hope this helps you become a little less stressed this holiday season. We all do too much because we want life to be great and wonderful for everyone else, while we end up miserable for the sacrifices we make for others. I know we want to make our time and effort cherishable and meroable considering we have very few great moments left, but it is about quality not quantity.

Without quality of health we diminish our quantity of holidays with family.

Stacie