Holiday Survival Tips

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Holiday Survival Guide

Surviving the holidays can be tough for even the most energetic

people to get through. For those of us with Fibromyalgia (FM) and

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/Myalgic Encephalopathy (CFS/ME) it can be a

nightmare.

Help avoid a holiday meltdown by following these nine steps:

Step #1 - Planning

Make a list of everything you want to accomplish. Be extremely

detailed - include:

shopping

decorating

baking

wrapping presents

assembling toys

stuffing stockings (if you have young children)

attending parties and family functions

Think about everything you've done over the past few holiday seasons

and put it on the list. I recommend doing this right after the

holidays, while your memories are fresh and you're more likely to be

realistic.

Step #2 - Prioritize

Now, take your list and prioritize it. What things are most important

to you? What absolutely has to happen for your holidays to be happy?

A temptation here is to think about what everyone wants. For those of

you with young children, the biggest priority is making things

perfect for them, but if you find yourself prioritizing based on your

mother-in-law's, brother's, and great-aunt's needs, STOP! While you

may want to take care of everyone, you need to be realistic and take

care of YOU first! If Aunt Betty wants a pecan pie, she can bake one

herself.

As you prioritize, think not only about what's important, but what

you truly love to do. If wrapping presents with lots of elaborate

ribbon and bows makes you happy, don't short change your own

enjoyment by going with gift bags or delegating it to someone else.

This season is about joy, so don't give that up!

Step #3 - Pacing: Cut It Down!

Pacing yourself is the key to surviving every day with FM and CFS/ME,

so don't forget it during the busy times! Now is when you need it

most.

Several steps go into pacing, and the first is cutting down your

list. Count up your items, and cut out the half that are lowest

priorities. Don't worry about those things anymore - you've already

determined that they're non-essential and don't bring you joy. You

don't need them, and they'll only bring you down.

Step #4 - Pacing: Simplify

Do you have some items on your list that you could do in a simpler

way than you have in the past? I've always loved walking around the

stores, soaking up the " Christmas-ness " of the season. However,

shopping and walking through stores is one of many things I'm unable

to do anymore. So what I do now is a lot of online purchasing, which

is really easy now that I know what I want and where to get it.

If I can't buy what I want online, or I can get a better price

locally, I only go to one store a day. If I need to do more or I'm

getting multiple things, I bring my mother along to push my

wheelchair so I don't exhaust myself completely. (Yes, at first it

feels strange to be in a wheelchair, but I've learned it's the only

way for me to have a life.)

Step #5 - Pacing: Delegate

Now look at your list again and see what someone else can do. If

you've traditionally done a big dinner, turn it into a potluck. Who

can come over to help you decorate or set the table? Who can help you

clean up? You might be surprised at how much people are willing to do

to help you.

If no one's willing to help, then what? If it's a family dinner or

gathering, perhaps their unwillingness to help shows that it's not a

priority for them, which means it doesn't need to be a priority for

you!

Keep in mind that making holiday tasks a group affair can make it a

lot of fun! Get family or friends involved in decorating while you

serve hot chocolate, and while everyone's over, have some strong,

healthy person shovel the walk for you or hang your outside lights.

Step #6 - Pacing: Cut Again!

Now that you've seen what can be simplified and what can be

delegated, take another look at your list. Consider the amount of

hours it will take you to accomplish everything on it.

One of three things is likely happening as you do this:

You've done such a great job that you're thinking, " Wow, this is

totally do-able! "

You're thinking, " It's a lot, but I'm determined to make the holidays

perfect! "

You're starting to get that panicky feeling and thinking, " I can't do

it! "

For you number ones, as long as you're being honest with yourself you

can now move on to Step #7.

If you're a number two, STOP! Be honest, and think back to the last

time you forced yourself to work that hard. Realistically, if you go

into it with that mind set, you're likely to wear yourself out,

stress about what you're not getting done, and send yourself into a

major flare-up.

If you're a three, take a deep breath. You don't have to do all of

that!

Twos and threes - start cutting again, and whittle that list down to

about half of what it is now. I know it's scary, but if you get

everything done and have the time and energy, you can always revive

some of the things falling by the wayside now.

This might feel selfish, but if you had a broken leg or a brain

tumor, you'd forgive yourself, wouldn't you? Just because other

people can't see or possibly don't understand your illness doesn't

make it less of a real impact on you and your life.

Step #7 - Back to Planning: Fill in the Blanks

Now's the time to figure out when you can get things done. What can

you be working on in, say, September? Make notes on your list of when

you want to start things. Get out a calendar with any parties or

events written on it so you can plan to have down time before and

after. (Don't plan to shop or hang lights the day after a party, you

know it won't happen!)

As you start to identify busy days, think about how long you can

typically be functional at a time and schedule rest periods. If you

can usually handle 4 hours of activity, cut it down to 3 hours of

activity with an hour to rest. Then you'll be able to handle more

periods of activity.

Step #8 - More Pacing: Listen to Yourself

If you get half way through the season and your body is sending

warning signs, listen to it! You may need to revise your list as you

go in order to keep yourself functional.

Step #9 - Recovery Time

After a busy period, we need some recovery time. On top of scheduling

downtime throughout the season, make sure you give yourself a few

days to recover afterward