Perfectionism - my dear sweet newly found sisters you make me laugh

[Guest guest]

not at you, but at myself. My husband and kids have kidded me that I

am the Monk's twin sister ever since the show came out. Doesn't every

one color code their closet because it looks better and makes getting

ready in the morning much easier? LOL! I am a retired realtor and I

can tell you without any uncertainty, the color coded closets were

much easier to show and the house usually sold quicker. Those homes

that had color coded closets were also more organized through out the

rest of the house. To me, to us, that is a no brainer. My husband

always stops me when we are at a resturant and I start cleaning the

table when we are finished. He claims that people get paid to do that

and reminds me that I don't work there. I went back to college when I

was 46 years old. The first day our psycology professor gave us a

test to see if we were Personality A or personality B. After reading

them over she picked me as the the student with the most A

personality that she had ever had in class. She said that she bet

that I even rolled my toothpast from the bottom. " Of course " said

I,and was a bit embarrassed when the class laughed. The only people

that I knew that didn't do that was my husband and my brother. Even

after 45 years of marriage, my husband has his toothpaste and I have

mine because of this. Do I hear the rest of you telling me that this

a prerequisite for Fibromyalga? I have always been like this as far

back as I can remember. My husband is so supportive of me and tries

to be the best help. He however, is not an A. He always gets to the

dishwasher first and puts the dishes away (anywhere that he finds a

place). I can't find any thing and it is driving me nuts. HE tells me

to quite being an old fuddy duddy. HELP!!!!! Thank you all for seeing

myself in a different light and having a good laugh. You are the

bestest in the whole world.

dominie , " Pam Horne " <pmarshall@...> wrote:

>

> Feng Shui. I swear by it. I get a sort of...feeling...when

something is not in the correct place. When I have finally moved it

to where it is supposed to be, I immediately relax. Feng Shui is

also a good way to eliminate clutter. The rule is: you must only

keep the things in your home that you find either: 1. Useful; 2.

Beautiful; or 3. Sentimental. My husband can figure out a way to

place any object in one of those categories, but if you are honest

with yourself, it's easy to clean using that strategy.

>

> I haven't even seen your neighbor's Christmas tree, but it's

already making me a little crazy. I can so imagine that happening to

me and how it would be stressing me out; I am, therefore, thankful

that you straightened out the candy-cane issue in your driveway. ha

ha ha. We are all nuts.

>

> Pam H

>

>

> Re: e way.Re: Perfectionism (newsletter

response) & a que

>

>

>

> Pam,

> I had a revelation about this after I got that tetnus and then

realized I was too incapacitated to function.

> I wanted things done perfect but I couldn't do them so they

didn't get done. My poor kids, God bless their souls for being so

patient with me.

>

> I just asked my kids, hey, do you want to learn to do this the

way that makes me happy. They agreed. They are perfectionists too, so

they hounded themselves about not doing it perfect. I told them just

to keep doing it and with practice they can be more proud of

themselves. I told them I didn't do it right the first hundred times

either. With that I learned patience myself.

> I realized that I had to just let it go and look at it done wrong

until they learned to do it right, because I couldn't do it. It has

taken my kids 5 years to learn to do dishes properly, and I can

promise you it was so worth the patience. They don't always get it

perfect, but I'm not perfect so I just appreciate the fact that I

didn't have to do it. There is no more dried food on the plates

anymore, but now I am crazy about making sure they learn to load the

dishwasher perfectly. Well, not perfect, but you know, exactly the

way I think it should be loaded. HEHE.

> I have a fibro friend who lives close by and she has really been

hurting bad lately too from the weather. She commented that her tree

was decorated this year by her grandkids and she wished she hadn't

have done it but she just didn't have the energy to do it herself.

She said that my perfect tree was decorated like she would have done

hers if she would have done it herself. It is driving her crazy to

see it. She can't change it though because the kids will have their

feelings hurt. Even the presents under my tree are color coordinated

by wrapping.

> We have candy canes that follow our driveway line that we put up

every year. There are two rows one on each side of the drive. Well,

my husband did them wrong and we ended up with one row on one side

for three days. I tried to deal with it, but I missed so much sleep

that finally I went out and changed them myself. He kept saying it

looked fine to him, but I couldn't live with it. Now there are two

rows and I am sleeping better over it.

> It is crazy the things we do.

> I do appreciate Monk and his perfectionism. I often watch the

show just to get decorating ideas. I am really bad about this.

> I just think things function better when they all have a proper

placement. It doesn't help that I have studied Feng shui, the art of

decorating for energy placement throughout the home. It has not only

made me more aware but also has givne me a new perfectionism

perspective.

>

> Merry Christmas to all and may your christmas be organized and

beautiful.

> Stacie

>

[Guest guest]

I would tell your husband that while you are on your feet you have to get the maximum amount of use out of your energy and searching for dishes uses up the energy, so the next time you have to search for dishes he has to cook because he knows where they are. Once you get done looking for them you would have no energy left for cooking.

I have said this a number of times and I tend to get things done right by this.

Stacie