Choice

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Decide to be Happy for Better Mental and Physical Health

By Lee WulffLife Coaching & Personal Development I have noticed that folks are generally about as happy as they have made up their minds to be. Abraham Lincoln

Happiness is a thing to be practiced like a violin. Unknown

Often we hear people say such things as, "I just can't be happy with this illness" or "This job makes my life so miserable." Many people believe that other people and their own circumstances cause them to be less than happy or to have a sense of well-being. Someone or something outside of themselves is controlling their emotions. They think, if only so-and-so would act differently, or if I could just live in a nicer neighborhood, I would be happy.

During World War II the prisoners who chose to appreciate and focus on the smallest of things such as seeing a blade grass, the blue sky, had far better chances of survival. Once free they had real joy because they had come to appreciate all that they had and did not focus on what they had lost.

So many people miss out on a life of joy because they don't know that happiness is a choice just as anger, dissatisfaction or just feeling out of sorts are all choices we all make. There are of course those who are clinically depressed and need professional help. I am not referring to those who, due to chemical or hormonal imbalances or environmental toxins are unable to pull themselves out of depression. Nor am I saying that someone experiencing a great loss can instantly be happy.

We Choose How to Feel

The truth is, we choose how we react and feel about any given circumstance. In every moment we are at choice. We decide to be happy or not. As Lincoln said, people really do make up their minds how happy to be.

It is not only possible to change a negative feeling and focus on the positives, it is imperative if we are to be both mentally and physically well. When we choose positive, happy feelings, we are much more likely to make healthy choices. Feeling sad or angry leads us to eat poorly and neglect healthy habits. This leads to stress and feeling helpless to change life for the better. The mind and body are so connected that if the mind is unhappy, the body also becomes unwell.

If you have spent your life believing that you cannot choose to be happy and that things outside of you are the cause of unhappiness, it will take practice to make the shift to knowing you are always at choice. It takes time to fully realize that you can celebrate life at all times. Initially it takes commitment, a desire to change, being open to taking control of your attitude and lots of practice. A trusted friend or a life coach can help you to make this shift, especially if you have led a life of pessimism.

In my coaching practice I help clients to see and put into practice the habit of choosing their thoughts and feelings. One client was fearful of trying to go for her dreams. She thought she would fail if she ever tried to live her dream of becoming an illustrator of children's books.

The problem was that she was raised by parents who constantly told her she could not do well and so not to try the things she wanted to do. Later she married a man who reinforced what her parents had always told her.

She was still listening to those voices in her head when we began our coaching relationship. We began by focusing on her real talent and ability she was able, in time, to start replacing those old voices with positive feelings. She became sure that she could indeed achieve the goals she set for herself. Each time she chose to go ahead and do just one thing that everyone told her she couldn't do, she gained more confidence. Rapidly she gained confidence and happiness in living the life she had dreamed of for so long. Now she is unstoppable and radiantly happy. She has learned that she alone controls her happiness and has far surpassed her original goals.

The process of consistently choosing a healthy attitude is greatly assisted by close trusted friends or by life coaching. Someone who you allow to be candid yet holds you accountable when you slip back into old habits of letting "things" get you down. Without this kind of support system, attitude "adjustments" and positive shifts will generally not succeed long term.

A healthy attitude allows you to stay creative and open to opportunities. The benefits of a healthy attitude are:

Opportunities are more obvious Your state of mind is more balanced and not subject to rapid emotional ups and downs Your perception is more realistic rather than fatalistic Positive, happy people are attracted to you Your life shifts from difficulties and high stress to one of near effortlessness Your healthy attitude leads to a healthier body and mind

Remember that you have the choice, in every situation and in every moment, to be happy!

To learn more about choosing happiness, what personal life coaching is about and what it can do for you, contact me at (480) 539-6063 or via e-mail at keycoaching@....