the good, the bad and the ugly

[Guest guest]

It seems like I have been dealing with the " late every morning " struggle for

years! I find something that works for awhile and then the effect wears off or

some new behavior starts the delay cycle all over again. So here is my latest

strategy that is working so far: Every day that we don't leave on time Ava

can't get phone calls or watch TV that night and she owes me one hour of work on

the weekend.

Last week she was late 3 out of 5 days. She said " who cares, I don't get many

phone calls anyway " , she called her Dad from school to see if he could tape her

favorite show for her (he didn't), she said she thinks it's fine to be late for

school and me being late for work is no big deal either, and she told me her

idea is a successful morning is one where I don't yell at her - not one where

we're on time. I practiced the advice from the same

book and just disengaged during her little monologue/spiel. Then the weekend

came.

She had a lacrosse game on Saturday and then a friend slept over. On Sunday at

noon I announced it was time for her friend to go home because Ava had 3 hours

of work to do. I mentioned that Ava might want to get her act together before

the pool opens in 2 weeks because it sure would be nice to take them for a swim

on a Sunday afternoon after a sleepover instead of having to take her friend

home so Ava could work. Then I had Ava work in the

yard with me, weeding, hauling wheelbarrows of mulch, cleaning up where I

planted, getting me ice water etc.. I told her how helpful she was and how I

admired her skill and attitude and I would even be willing to pay her in the

future...........unless .of course, she continued to be late, in which case I

get it free.

She has been on time every day this week.

Good luck with whatever you try.

Dana in NC

ps I also hide the tweezers or she cannot stop herself from plucking hairs and

losing track of time

Mamimiz@... wrote:

> We are experiencing some good changes with our daughter. She is doing well

> in her private school that is sensitive to OCD. She just started a part-time

> job after school.I have been following the advice in the book " Get Out of My

> Life but First Take Me and Cheryl to the Mall " and it really works better.

> Just disengage from their destructive power struggles.

> The bad still continues in that my daughter still has trouble getting up

> in the morning and consistently misses one day a week of school. She missed

> it today and then had the audacity to expect a ride to work from me. I said

> hell no I won't go so she managed to get a cab and pay for it herself!

> As far as ugly goes, her old high school, at which she still goes to two

> classes, continues to get on her case about missing school. The more they

> bug her the more they alienate her and her symptoms increase. Tomorrow my

> husband will tell them if they don't back off we'll see them in court!

> Life sure is interesting with a kid with OCD and co-morbidities!

>

> Any suggestions for getting her up and out in the morning on time would

> be well appreciated.

>

> Mamimiz

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> There's still time to order Calyx & Corolla flowers for mom.

> These fresh and elegant bouquets are available for delivery

> by Mother's Day. To order, please visit

> 1/4103/5/_/531051/_/958094765/

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

> You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... . In the

body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. The Archives, Files,

and Features List for the may be accessed by going to

, enter your email address and password, then point and

click. Subscription issues, problems, or suggestions may be addressed to Louis

Harkins, list owner, at harkins@... .

[Guest guest]

>

> > We are experiencing some good changes with our daughter. She is

doing well

> > in her private school that is sensitive to OCD. She just started

a part-time

> > job after school.I have been following the advice in the

book " Get Out of My

> > Life but First Take Me and Cheryl to the Mall " and it really

works better.

> > Just disengage from their destructive power struggles.

> > The bad still continues in that my daughter still has

trouble getting up

> > in the morning and consistently misses one day a week of school.

She missed

> > it today and then had the audacity to expect a ride to work from

me. I said

> > hell no I won't go so she managed to get a cab and pay for it

herself!

> > As far as ugly goes, her old high school, at which she still

goes to two

> > classes, continues to get on her case about missing school. The

more they

> > bug her the more they alienate her and her symptoms increase.

Tomorrow my

> > husband will tell them if they don't back off we'll see them in

court!

> > Life sure is interesting with a kid with OCD and co-

morbidities!

> >

> > Any suggestions for getting her up and out in the morning on

time would

> > be well appreciated.

> >

> > Mamimiz

> >

> > ------------------------------------------------------------------

------

> > There's still time to order Calyx & Corolla flowers for mom.

> > These fresh and elegant bouquets are available for delivery

> > by Mother's Day. To order, please visit

> > 1/4103/5/_/531051/_/958094765/

> > ------------------------------------------------------------------

------

> >

> > You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@v... . In

the body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. The

Archives, Files, and Features List for the may

be accessed by going to , enter your email

address and password, then point and click. Subscription issues,

problems, or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list

owner, at harkins@w... .

[Guest guest]

I'm learning so much just from what you relate about your daily

experiences! Since Cameron's symptoms started, I have been late every

morning. I really have struggled to get him out the door. He just

can't seem to focus. I didn't realize it's related to the OCD - well,

the light's on, but nobody's home! We just started a reward chart so

that if he can get to the car by goal time, eventually he earns a

special reward.

Dana, I read that it helps to keep the OCD child active, to distract

them from their thoughts. It sounds like that's what you and Ava do.

She must be one busy girl. I know from having a 'normal' ( is that

possible?) teenager that keeping busy helps anyway. My older son

doesn't have time to get moody (much) and those hormones don't zing

around the house neaarly as often when he's active.

Lowe

>

> > We are experiencing some good changes with our daughter. She is

doing well

> > in her private school that is sensitive to OCD. She just started

a part-time

> > job after school.I have been following the advice in the

book " Get Out of My

> > Life but First Take Me and Cheryl to the Mall " and it really

works better.

> > Just disengage from their destructive power struggles.

> > The bad still continues in that my daughter still has

trouble getting up

> > in the morning and consistently misses one day a week of school.

She missed

> > it today and then had the audacity to expect a ride to work from

me. I said

> > hell no I won't go so she managed to get a cab and pay for it

herself!

> > As far as ugly goes, her old high school, at which she still

goes to two

> > classes, continues to get on her case about missing school. The

more they

> > bug her the more they alienate her and her symptoms increase.

Tomorrow my

> > husband will tell them if they don't back off we'll see them in

court!

> > Life sure is interesting with a kid with OCD and co-

morbidities!

> >

> > Any suggestions for getting her up and out in the morning on

time would

> > be well appreciated.

> >

> > Mamimiz

> >

> > ------------------------------------------------------------------

------

> > There's still time to order Calyx & Corolla flowers for mom.

> > These fresh and elegant bouquets are available for delivery

> > by Mother's Day. To order, please visit

> > 1/4103/5/_/531051/_/958094765/

> > ------------------------------------------------------------------

------

> >

> > You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@v... . In

the body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. The

Archives, Files, and Features List for the may

be accessed by going to , enter your email

address and password, then point and click. Subscription issues,

problems, or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list

owner, at harkins@w... .

[Guest guest]

Thanks Kathy. We are currently trying the " disengaged " approach wherein we

are letting her make her own decisions, mistakes etc. We think this is

necessary because due to our involvement in helping her function, she blames

us when things do not go right. The therapist feels this is developmental

because her baby self does not want to let go. As we know, kids with NBDs

take a lot longer to mature. By disengaging from her, she has no one but

herself to " blame " when things don't go right and perhaps this will give her

the insight to work on the issues that are messing up her life.

She got up early today, went to her therapist, then had a piano lesson

all before 11 A.M. This has been unprecedented in the last two years.

Tomorrow she is supposed to work from 8A.M. till 4 P.M. Let's hope she makes

it. That would be a terrific mother's day present!

HAPPY MOTHER's DAY!!

Mamimiz

[Guest guest]

You know I am seriously thinking of taking some kind of action against my

son's school for their attitude and careless ways with my son....

I believe that there has been things going on in his high school that has

caused him to drop from A's to F's in the last semester and the reason he is

always complaining of stomach aches, pains, and missing a lot of school.

Here it is the last week and he missed today, sick!

[Guest guest]

continues to have trouble getting out of the shower and to school on

time... wish I could help!

It is good your daughter will help, can't get my son to do a thing, and since

he has been staying with my parents for the last 8 months, he HATES me, he

isn't even asked.

I wish you luck, I wish us all patience to go with our love for our children!

[Guest guest]

,

The physical signs of stress are very familiar. Before we had the

diagnosis of ocd, we were forever taking the kids to the doc or giving them

Pepto Bismal! We even had Tom to the hospital emergency!

Now, stomache aches are a clear sign that anxiety is high. I know to check

on what is happening: social, school, siblings, parents, what??? Once we

have identified the issue, we problem solve and dont blame. THEN we deal

with what's happening.

I understand your frustration with dropping marks, too. Tom could be an A

student, but his meds make his thinking 'foggy' and his memory is very poor.

For this reason, he is in an alternate program where he takes one credit at

a time, mornings only, and independantly. His marks are now B's or in one

case, lower... so, he wont be a rocket scientist! (actually he wants to go

into early childhood education or be a child and youth worker!)

Try not to show your disapointment too much to your son. He doesnt need to

feel like he's let you down! Vent away here - speak to someone on the school

board, advocate for better resources, use your energy to improve things. I

know its tough... but this too you will survive. Who says you have to finish

high school in X amount of years?

take care, wendy, in canada

=============================

>You know I am seriously thinking of taking some kind of action against my

>son's school for their attitude and careless ways with my son....

>I believe that there has been things going on in his high school that has

>caused him to drop from A's to F's in the last semester and the reason he

>is always complaining of stomach aches, pains, and missing a lot of school.

>Here it is the last week and he missed today, sick!

>

________________________________________________________________________

Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com

[Guest guest]

Hi fellow forum dwellers,

I haven't posted a new message of my own for a while. Having a bit

of a 'blah' time this week, so thought I'd come back on here to ask

for some advice. Hope that someone can help.

Sorry for the lengthy message, but I hope that you will read through

it and help me with my questions. Any thoughts would be greatly

appreciated.

I guess I'm just a bit upset today because I was doing really well

and feeling so much better, but now I feel like I've had a set

back. I'm definitely better than I was a few months ago, however it

is upsetting to be going backwards a bit.

Just as a re-cap, I had below normal free T3 levels for a while with

corresponding high Reverse T3 levels. I gained a lot of weight and

had a lot of fluid retention. Thyroxine wasn't really helping me

and I had extreme lethargy and exhaustion. I can't tolerate taking

T3 - even a teeny amount, so I just take 125mcg of thyroxine each

day + a myriad of herbs and other supplements. I'm going to have

my bloods taken again next week.

I've detailed the good, the bad and the ugly things that have

happened lately. See below.....

THE GOOD

I went and saw a naturopath a few months ago and I've pretty

strictly followed her advice to try and help improve my thyroid

condition and see if there are any changes re my autoimmune

disease. As a result, I have unintentionally lost about 5kg, my

energy increased to the point where I could walk for an hour with no

worries and even mow my lawn with a rotary mower AND rake up leaves

etc (but wait, you still need to read 'the bad' and 'the ugly'

below) and I now have much more clarity of thought. Memory is still

not fantastic, but better than before.

THE BAD

After not eating any refined sugar for months, I had a small serve

of my daughter's icecream birthday cake last Sunday. BAD MOVE!!!!

I have spent most of this week quite exhausted and tired. I noticed

on Tuesday that it was difficult to compose a letter, even though

prior to the cake I had reasonable clarity of thought (it took so

long for that to happen that I don't want to stuff it up again).

I've also felt a bit blah.

QUESTIONS: Has anyone heard of this sort of reaction happening to

anyone else? Can icecream (and the amount of refined sugar it

contains) have such an effect for such a long time? I felt like I

went backwards as far as my health went and I couldn't get out of

bed on Wednesday until 3pm!!!! It seems like a bit of an extreme

reaction. I thought that I may feel a bit flat for a short while,

but can't believe it has gone on for so long.

Anyone know what is going on? I know that my blood sugars probably

flew through the roof temporarily, but why the week long reaction?

Any opinions about this would be appreciated. I'm not diabetic and

my glucose tolerant test results looked ok a few months ago. It

feels like those old 'thyroid' feelings are coming back - the

sluggishness, etc.

THE UGLY

I saw a health professional (not my docs or my naturopath who are

very understanding about my condition and understand how

incapacitating thyroid problems can be) and mentioned how I was

hoping to get to work soon, but wasn't feeling too great since the

cake + want my health condition to stabilise so I can sustain being

at work, not only work for a couple of days and then need to sleep

for a week! They told me that I should be 'goal orientated' and

even if I felt tired, I should think about going back to work so I

didn't have to concentrate on my tiredness. They were basically

telling me that it was mind over matter, and to get a job and get on

with it. They told me they can ignore it when they are tired and so

should I. I asked them if they knew anything about the thyroid and

they admitted they knew nothing about it. I wish that health

professionals would become more informed. It really upset me,

because even though they weren't supposed to be judgmental, that is

exactly what they were being. Since I saw them, I've felt quite

anxious and a bit down.

Anyhow, thanks for getting through to the end of my message. It was

a long one. Hope that you can help shed some light about why I have

gone backwards after the cake.

P

[Guest guest]

Hi P,

I'd look at mitochondrial problems.

Fairly common is G6PD deficiency or alternatively, the low

functioning enzyme (G6PD).

Glucose 6 Phosphate Dehydrogenase ~ G6PD

If your mitochondria go 'pear-shaped' (not quite literally, but near

enough) they won't put out enough energy as ATP, and everything

(potentially) will go back to square one if refined sugar is your

downfall.

I used to come out in spots with too much refined sugar.

Assume lowered immunity, perhaps.

I'll keep a 'watching brief' for other stuff while I'm reading.

A few years back, we did support for one of the members of another

forum where her dad was accused of being alcholic and was thus

refused a liver transplant (with Hepatitis C).

In the end, it was discovered (correctly ~ with bronze coloured arms)

that he had hemochromatosis and so did many of his family (found

subsequent to the discovery in him)....which mimics alcoholic

cyrrhosis.

By the time it was critical, he had myxodema, hepatic encephalopathy,

liver failure and very low thyroid hormones (particularly T3).

The member of the other forum advocated for her dad, in person, in

front of her family and his surgeons when they were about to turn off

his ventillator......he got his T3 and survived (about 4yrs back).

On Wednesday he had his liver transplant and was taken off the post-

operative ventillator in less than 24hrs.....

Hopefully things will now improve.

I doubt you have hemochromatosis, but it would be worth checking if

sugars increase oxidative damage (as does hemochromatosis).

Lack of one of the antioxidants may also cause similar problems;

that's why selenium is so important; it acts with vit C, vit E, vit

A, to enhance the antioxidant system.

best wishes

Bob

> Hi fellow forum dwellers,

> I haven't posted a new message of my own for a while. Having a bit

> of a 'blah' time this week, so thought I'd come back on here to ask

> for some advice. Hope that someone can help.

[Guest guest]

Hi, what comes to mind is gluten intolerance - or celiac - perhaps a

google search on gluten free may answer some questions if that is the

cause. It could be the white flour.

>

> gone backwards after the cake.

>

> P

>

[Guest guest]

" Terrible

Saturday night. Was it the birthday cake I had Wed/Thurs? 33 suspect

ingredients. 16 definite no-nos! "

I was still learning then and with hindsight it could have been the

wheat, dairy or additives. Whatever it was that cake caused me grief

for quite a few days. And I only had a little piece because it was

my husband's birthday, and I didn't want to be a complete killjoy.

Two years on from that I know a lot more now about diet and what

affects me. I love chocolate and hadn't had any for two years, nor

had any sugar other than fructose. I thought recently that I'd treat

myself to the tip of a corner of one square of dark chocolate and

see how I got on. That was ok. But when I increased the amount to

two whole squares a couple of weeks later I couldn't believe the

effect it had on me. Just like you I had a rotten week. I'm not

altogether sure why it is - but it does seem to upset me and I get a

lot of my adrenal symptoms back. And almost every time I make a

dietary mistake I find it takes me at least four or five days to get

back to where I was before.

Could be of course that the cake is a red herring and it makes sense

to look at other reasons for why you're feeling as you do. It's just

the worst when you've been feeling better and then suddenly slide

back.

Not sure if this helps or not but that cake episode is something

that is etched on amy memory and your post really brought it to mind

again!

Hope you feel better again soon.

x

[Guest guest]

The Bad:

Yes Pat, that is a typical reaction to reintroducing a food which you are really intolerant to. You detoxed and got it out of your system and then introduced it again.

My sister has the same problem with wheat. I might but have never been off it long enough to find out

Lilian

[Guest guest]

Hi Bob,

Thanks so much for this advice.

P

<Bob.m9uk@...> wrote:

>

> Hi P,

>

> I'd look at mitochondrial problems.

> Fairly common is G6PD deficiency or alternatively, the low

> functioning enzyme (G6PD).

[Guest guest]

Hi 'freeman9007' (sorry but you didn't add your name),

Thanks for that.

Yes, the symptoms I have now are very similar to when I have gluten.

I am gluten intolerant, but I ate gluten free ice cream cake - at

least I'm trusting that it was gluten free!!!

P

>

> Hi, what comes to mind is gluten intolerance - or celiac - perhaps a

> google search on gluten free may answer some questions if that is the

> cause. It could be the white flour.

> >

> > gone backwards after the cake.

> >

> > P

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

What an interesting message. Thanks so much for posting. Your

message helped me a lot because I realised that our situations were

so similar. Spoke to a friend today who had dairy after months of

not having any and she is quite unwell today. Foggy brain,

tiredness, etc. Sounds familiar, huh??

Like you, I had a small piece of cake so I wasn't being a killjoy.

I'm being more of a killjoy now because it is 7 days since I had it

and I'm only just starting to feel like I'm beginning to recover.

I read with interest your description about eating a couple of

squares of chocolate. You mentioned that you got a lot of your

adrenal symptoms back. That is something that I noticed as well. I

found that I wasn't able to comprehend things nor cope with things

very well after I had the cake. Not my imagination either as prior

to eating the cake I was really doing well.

You mentioned that almost every time you make a dietary mistake it

takes you at least four or five days to get back to where you were

before. That gave me a bit of hope. I think I fell into

the 'everything is going to be terrible with my health again' way of

thinking because I was getting SO much better before this setback.

Luckily, one week after the event I can see that my body is still

suffering but it is recovering, so perhaps I will get back to the

higher energy levels & decent clarity of mind levels that I had

prior to the cake.

I also take your point about the whole thing possibly being related

to something else, but my suspicion is that the cake is the culprit,

especially because I'm now getting a bit better.

Gees, a slice of cake isn't worth it!!! I won't be doing THAT again

in any big hurry. I'll just have to be a killjoy at parties - even

if the cake is gluten free!!!!!

Thanks again for your comforting message and kind thoughts.

P

" Terrible

Saturday night. Was it the birthday cake I had Wed/Thurs?.....And I

only had a little piece because it was my husband's birthday, and I

didn't want to be a complete killjoy....I thought recently that I'd

treat myself to the tip of a corner of one square of dark

chocolate...That was ok. But when I increased the amount to two

whole squares a couple of weeks later I couldn't believe the effect

it had on me. Just like you I had a rotten week.......it does seem

to upset me and I get a lot of my adrenal symptoms back. And almost

every time I make a dietary mistake I find it takes me at least four

or five days to get back to where I was before.....Could be of

course that the cake is a red herring and it makes sense to look at

other reasons for why you're feeling as you do. It's just the worst

when you've been feeling better and then suddenly slide back.

x

[Guest guest]

Thanks Lilian,

Yes, it looks like that seems to be the case. It is amazing how our

body works!?! Before cutting out sugar (refined) I was a complete

sweet tooth, but it shows how bad refined sugars can be. Not just

bad for the waistline, but bad for comprehension, energy, etc.

I'm gluten intolerant and feel tired and dreadful when I ingest

gluten, so I can relate to your sister's condition.

P

>

....Yes Pat, that is a typical reaction to reintroducing a food which

you are really intolerant to. You detoxed and got it out of your

system and then introduced it again. My sister has the same problem

with wheat.... Lilian

[Guest guest]

Dear Val,

Thanks for explaining what happens to people when they are on a

macrobiotic diet and then re-introduce sugars, etc. I managed to

talk to someone who works with my naturopath, and she mentioned that

when the body is functioning well, people can cope with the sugars,

etc but in other cases (such as mine) even a small amount can

trigger a reaction like I had.

It was interesting to read about how you get achey and under the

weather and that it can take you several weeks to feel better if you

have a period of bad eating.

Yes, the whole work thing is daunting. I was so happy that I was

getting better because I thought as soon as things have definitely

stabilised, I could go back to work. Trouble is that I can't rely

on my energy levels at the moment. I thought I was starting to be

able to, but alas not yet. I'm thinking about working at home.

You mentioned that you find that it is not only health professionals

who are judgemental but anyone at work, or even family can be

exactly the same. I'm really very fortunate because my family have

been great re my thyroid stuff. Lucky me and I mean that. I can't

imagine how terrible it would feel to get that sort of reaction from

a family member.

Thanks again for your reply.

P

[Guest guest]

Just thought I would mention that I became an independent foreign

exchange currency trader and I buy and sell currency from my home via

the internet. Its not for everyone, highly volatile, (which means you

could loose alot of money) and its been a long learning journey - but

I so love it, love it, love it.......

There may be things that you can do that you have a passion for from

home, and which will bring in an income without having to leave home

and when you are strong enough to work. This is why Forex suits me so

well, if I am not up to par - I dont trade.

jennyfreeman

> Thanks again for your reply.

>

> P

>