Guest guest Posted August 13, 2007 Report Share Posted August 13, 2007 Hi Eileen, We have had the same situation for years and Noah(age 10) definitely responds best when we are not around during the session. As he gets older this has subsided but it is still best if we are not near him. I have done the following which seem to really work: gone on a walk, saved errands for this time, done an activity with our other son out of the house(including homework at the library, going to the park, playdates, going to a restaurant or movie), appointments and gardening. I hope these suggestions help. Good Luck! ShariGet a sneak peek of the all-new AOL.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2007 Report Share Posted August 13, 2007 We have one tutor (and we'll be hiring another one soon) who comes to the house to play with my son using Floortime/DIR method. I am home when she comes, but I try not to be in the same room with them. My son has difficulty separating from me to play with her. We've tried having the tutor go to a bedroom to play, but my son doesn't like having the door closed, and if it's open, he'll cry and go look for me. Does anyone have any advice how to make that transition more smoothly? Thanks, Eileen Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Games. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2007 Report Share Posted August 14, 2007 The tutor first needs to pair with him. In other words she has to make her self more appealing than being with Mom. i.e. if your son likes McD's fries completely deprive him of them when he is with you and let her show up at the door with them. And even then she needs to just give him one at a time to keep him coming back for more...never let her give it all to him at once, because after he has it, he no longer has a need or want for her. If you intersperse the demands with something he really likes (ff, movie, candy, etc) he will quickly look to her as being the fun source. I caution you though not to give him any of the things he really likes when she is not around, or else they lose their appeal. If you do go the candy route, make sure it is they type of candy that she can ration...ie mini M & M's. She shouldn't even try to place any difficult demands on him during pairing, and she should really just concentrate on letting him come to her. Figure out the few things he completely enjoys (food, water play, tv, favorite movie) and make sure she is the one who gives it to him until he begins to trust and accept her. One of the biggest mistakes parents make is when they find something their kiddo likes, they give it to him frequently to keep him happy so it loses its reward factor and turns into a need. So as hard as it is for you, you need to definately not bring out those specific rewards and make them solely for when the tutor is giving them to him. As the old saying goes.....It's good to want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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