Re: depression....

January 3, 2003

In a message dated 1/3/2003 5:26:12 AM Pacific Standard Time,

stfcch@... writes:

> Since being diagnosed no more than about a week ago, I'm not sure if

> it is just me but I feel that my symptoms have been intensifying. My

> feelings of depression have been rising and getting much worse this

> last week...I am at last sleeping, but now I'm getting to the stage

> where all I want to do is either sleep or do nothing. At work I do

> some lifting and stuff and I have to sit down for an hour to recover.

> All this merely adds to the depression and stress I have right

> now...I got so frustrated the other day

No, you're not alone with this. Depression is one of the symptoms of

untreated hypothyroidism. And sluggishness. And feeling unable to force

yourself to do the things a normal person would be able to do without

superhuman effort.

It does take time to feel undepressed once you get on the right medicine for

you. When the body slows down to the extent it does when you're hypothyroid,

it takes some time to get it revved back up again. So, it's important that

you give yourself time and back off on expecting yourself to perform like a

normal human right away. That said, it's also important to not wait too long

in asking to try a different meidicne if you feel you're not getting better

with the medicine you're been prescribed. A lot of people do better,

depression wise, with added T3. For myself, I didn't begin to get well until

I found a doctor who put me on straight T3, timed-release, even though my TSH

numbers read .07.

One thing you can do to help alleviate depression naturally is take fish oil

capsules. Recent studies done in the mental health community show a

surprising anti-depressant effect with fish oil. You want to get the highest

amount of DHA to get the the best anti-depressant effect. Jarrow Formulas

makes a very good, cost effective, fish oil cap called Max DHA that I like

very much. If you have a tender tummy, then try Nature's Way, Fisol.

All the best,

in LA

January 3, 2003

Hi. The good thing is that you know your depressed and why. That I feel is

important. I got this as well but could not work out why as all the Drs were

telling me its not being hypo. I got so bad that I thought I may have done

something silly then went to see somebody who wanted to give me anti

depressants. After a long while I realised that its was the thyroxin or lack of

it I got the empty head syndrome, all I wanted to do was watch the TV and when

this happened my cramps and Neck ache got worse. I am on t3 now the depression

has stopped but the cramps and neck ache are still there.

good luck

C

> ....

>

> Since being diagnosed no more than about a week ago, I'm not sure if

> it is just me but I feel that my symptoms have been intensifying. My

> feelings of depression have been rising and getting much worse this

> last week...I am at last sleeping, but now I'm getting to the stage

> where all I want to do is either sleep or do nothing. At work I do

> some lifting and stuff and I have to sit down for an hour to recover.

> All this merely adds to the depression and stress I have right

> now...I got so frustrated the other day that I slammed my hand into a

> closet door!! Is there a light at the end of this tunnell?? While I

> do have people around me who care very much, I dont think they really

> understand what I am currently going through. Right now I get the

> feeling almost that my body is betraying me...I feel trapped unable

> to control what is happening to me, and I cannot stand not being able

> to control things within myself (one very good reason why I drink

> very little alcohol!!). I feel so damned helpless right now I just

> dont know where to turn.

>

> I would really be grateful and appreciative if someone who has been

> through the same things can give some advice or at least just to know

> they have been through similar things would really help.

>

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January 3, 2003

You are not alone We have all been and are still going through the

same thing.It is very difficult to deal with this illness and when there

is no support it is devastating to your life.I cannot tell you how many

times I have been told it's all in my head or if you just get up and

move around,by people who are supposed to care but just don't

understand.I cannot tell you how many times my husband and I have argued

because I was to tired to do normal household chores.I started to send

this list to him so he would understand I am not crazy,these are real

illnesses.He understands now and is very supportive.I have started

taking T3 and it has helped me enormously.I am still tired but not

fatigued and my mental fog has gone.The pain in my joints is gone and I

have re-purchased a treadmill for the weight.My husband sold the last

treadmill had as I was falling off it from my joints hurting.So,don't

let it take over your life any more than it already has and take control

of your own care.I insisted my Dr.put me on T3 when all he wanted to do

was prescribe more anti-depressants.Keep your chin up,We understand and

are here for you.

Deneen

January 3, 2003

In a message dated 1/3/2003 10:43:38 AM Pacific Standard Time,

karlynn17@... writes:

> just out of curiosity, did your TSH go up or down after going on straight

> T3?

>

Dear ,

Dunno. My doc doesn't treat me to test numbers so we've never done another

TSH test, thank god! He treats me based solely on my symptoms, which are

lessening the longer I'm on the T3. Personally, I think the TSH test is an

Instrument Of Torture, a relic from the Dark Ages of Medicine whereby tens of

thousands of individuals, ordinary people suffering obvious hypothyroid

symptoms, are routinely denied basic medicine and health care. They're told

they are crazy, or hypochondriac, or emotionally unstable, or lacking in

personal discipline, and cast out of the medical treatment system to fend for

themselves on substandard alternative health care treatments and scams.

JMO,

January 3, 2003

I didn't begin to get well until

I found a doctor who put me on straight T3, timed-release, even though my

TSH

numbers read .07.

,

just out of curiosity, did your TSH go up or down after going on straight

T3?

best,

----Original Message Follows----

From: annah1149@...

Reply-hypothyroidism

hypothyroidism

Subject: Re: Depression....

Date: Fri, 3 Jan 2003 11:34:22 EST

In a message dated 1/3/2003 5:26:12 AM Pacific Standard Time,

stfcch@... writes:

> Since being diagnosed no more than about a week ago, I'm not sure if

> it is just me but I feel that my symptoms have been intensifying. My

> feelings of depression have been rising and getting much worse this

> last week...I am at last sleeping, but now I'm getting to the stage

> where all I want to do is either sleep or do nothing. At work I do

> some lifting and stuff and I have to sit down for an hour to recover.

> All this merely adds to the depression and stress I have right

> now...I got so frustrated the other day

No, you're not alone with this. Depression is one of the symptoms of

untreated hypothyroidism. And sluggishness. And feeling unable to force

yourself to do the things a normal person would be able to do without

superhuman effort.

It does take time to feel undepressed once you get on the right medicine for

you. When the body slows down to the extent it does when you're

hypothyroid,

it takes some time to get it revved back up again. So, it's important that

you give yourself time and back off on expecting yourself to perform like a

normal human right away. That said, it's also important to not wait too

long

in asking to try a different meidicne if you feel you're not getting better

with the medicine you're been prescribed. A lot of people do better,

depression wise, with added T3. For myself, I didn't begin to get well

until

I found a doctor who put me on straight T3, timed-release, even though my

TSH

numbers read .07.

One thing you can do to help alleviate depression naturally is take fish oil

capsules. Recent studies done in the mental health community show a

surprising anti-depressant effect with fish oil. You want to get the

highest

amount of DHA to get the the best anti-depressant effect. Jarrow Formulas

makes a very good, cost effective, fish oil cap called Max DHA that I like

very much. If you have a tender tummy, then try Nature's Way, Fisol.

All the best,

in LA

January 31, 2007

jp, I have had it happen twice where i have been in pain and the doctors

treated me like i was a little old lady with depression. not pain. i am still

pretty pissed about that. on to the next doctor. after my spine surgery in

may, i was healing pretty well then all of a sudden i started to be in more

and more pain and i thought maybe i was rejecting the hardware. my surgeon

said no way. but he was very attentive about what was going on. i went to an

arthritis specialist. he was the one that told me i was depressed.

asshole. and then i put it out to this group what was happening and someone

wrote

me back that it sounded like i had fibromyalgia. so after reading much and

asking questions on this group, i went to see another arthritis specialist so

that i could get a formal diagnosis so that i could then be treated correctly

by pain management. the second case, i have pain in my left thigh/leg.

pretty severe. not there all the time. only when it gets aggavated. i told

my

surgeon and he wanted me to get a hip mri because of my history with

avascular necrosis. i was going to do that and then i thought about it and

told my

surgeon that no, i do not want a hip mri, i want an mri of my lower back. the

mri did show that i have a sinovian cyst at L4-L5 and that is what is

causing the pain. the cyst is sitting on the nerve. my surgeon wants to

extend

the cage from L-3 to L-4,L-5,S-1. i have said no. no more surgery.

recuperating from my may surgery was a bitch but i did not have a choice about

the

surgery. had to do it. now i want them to figure out how they are going to

get rid of this stupid cyst without doing surgery. marsha

In a message dated 1/31/2007 3:09:32 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

jennybonner13@... writes:

I am sure most of you have dealt with this. In fact I can remember being on

the other side and not understanding the pain thing. And thinking if they

just got up off their butt they might feel better.

Hubby made an off hand comment about having to listen to me about my pain

and if you are going to exercise you are going to feel pain. Well I have no

problem with muscle painâ€¦I worked out body building (even competed) and I

welcome that type of pain but this nerve pain is difficult.

And I did a pilates class the other night, went to get up and couldnâ€™t bear

weight on my leg. I remember when this happened (had something that caused

a pain flare that sent me to the hospital in Sept â€“ I still have no idea

what caused that and before that I could usually function with

blocks/nsaids/stretching/lidoderm patch/tens unit. But this is bad and it

doesnâ€™t seem to be resolving. And I have no idea why or what caused it.

And I am getting very depressed.

My husband and I have always been the most active people I know. Skiing,

cycling (100 mile rides), running, walking, windsurfing, swimming, body

building etc. and I am struggling now to even get out and walk 2miles or do

some light cardio. I know he has no clue what I am feeling because before

all this, I had no clue what people in pain were feeling. And I am starting

to feel like this is not going to get better. And now I feel like I canâ€™t

even talk to the one person that should support me â€“ my husband. It seems

like he is getting tired of hearing it.

I called today to make another appointment at a back clinic that my

insurance case manager actually recommended. I am afraid my pain management

doc might get miffed â€“ he is more intent on treating it than figuring out

what is causing it and while I need the pain management, I still need to

have a diagnosis.

I never thought I would take narcotics and I have crossed over to that side.

My friend said to me. How are you going to deal with this if it is

permanent? I thought she was insaneâ€¦.now I am starting to think she may be

right.

Any words of wisdom? What do you guys do when the ones close to you are

tired of hearing it? When you feel as though you canâ€™t do anything you

would normally do as a family? We are supposed to go skiing with my parents

(yes they ski â€“ all over Europe and out west) for a week in March. I donâ€™t

even want to go now. Have any of you gone on to several docs before getting

a doc that finds your cause and treats your pain?

JP

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9:04 AM

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Links

January 31, 2007

Well I know this is hard on anyone and understand about your husband. I have one

that has back pain as well and he always seems to think his is worst with one

injury, I have three neck, center and lumber.

I can only tell you that most people don't want to know about your pain, they

don't know what to say about it and they can't help you with it.

I have learned over the pass two years to keep it to myself as much as I can.

I don't go anywhere, don't talk to many people and I keep to myself.

Most of the time I can't even deal with the smallest thing but I try to do the

best I can.

I pray alot and I know it isn't going to get better as far as pain goes but I

try not to think about it too much either.

I read and I lie down when I can't cope with it anymore.

I cope with all of this everyday and I even don't know what to tell you.

If you can talk with your husband or get your doctor to explain what kind of

pain you are dealing with and what he can expect to happen, that may help.

I talk with my doctor when I see her, because I know to a certain point she

does understand what we live with.

Lord, I wish I could just walk for 10 minutes much less 2 miles. They would be

carrying me back and putting me to bed.

There are alot of us that can't sit for long, can't stand for long, can't lie

down for long, can't sleep but a little at a time. Can't walk for long, our

balance is off and I would feel very lucky if I could walk a mile. We have

learned that we can't do like we use to and we have to depend on friends and

family for help doing things and financial aid just to make ends met.

Alot of us can't afford medicine and have no insurance or Social Security

Disability and have no income, so we can't get the treatment we need.

I just thank God everyday that I can wake up and get out of bed. I always try

to remember that there is always some one that is worst off then me.

Good luck in the husband talk or the doctor/husband talk.

jen <jennybonner13@...> wrote:

I am sure most of you have dealt with this. In fact I can remember being on

the other side and not understanding the pain thing. And thinking if they

just got up off their butt they might feel better.

Hubby made an off hand comment about having to listen to me about my pain

and if you are going to exercise you are going to feel pain. Well I have no

problem with muscle pain…I worked out body building (even competed) and I

welcome that type of pain but this nerve pain is difficult.

And I did a pilates class the other night, went to get up and couldn’t bear

weight on my leg. I remember when this happened (had something that caused

a pain flare that sent me to the hospital in Sept – I still have no idea

what caused that and before that I could usually function with

blocks/nsaids/stretching/lidoderm patch/tens unit. But this is bad and it

doesn’t seem to be resolving. And I have no idea why or what caused it.

And I am getting very depressed.

My husband and I have always been the most active people I know. Skiing,

cycling (100 mile rides), running, walking, windsurfing, swimming, body

building etc. and I am struggling now to even get out and walk 2miles or do

some light cardio. I know he has no clue what I am feeling because before

all this, I had no clue what people in pain were feeling. And I am starting

to feel like this is not going to get better. And now I feel like I can’t

even talk to the one person that should support me – my husband. It seems

like he is getting tired of hearing it.

I called today to make another appointment at a back clinic that my

insurance case manager actually recommended. I am afraid my pain management

doc might get miffed – he is more intent on treating it than figuring out

what is causing it and while I need the pain management, I still need to

have a diagnosis.

I never thought I would take narcotics and I have crossed over to that side.

My friend said to me. How are you going to deal with this if it is

permanent? I thought she was insane….now I am starting to think she may be

right.

Any words of wisdom? What do you guys do when the ones close to you are

tired of hearing it? When you feel as though you can’t do anything you

would normally do as a family? We are supposed to go skiing with my parents

(yes they ski – all over Europe and out west) for a week in March. I don’t

even want to go now. Have any of you gone on to several docs before getting

a doc that finds your cause and treats your pain?

JP

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9:04 AM

January 31, 2007

For the past 21/2 years I've had a support team that faithfully has

been their for me through counting last week 9 surgeries.

My wife and my kids and the smiling little faces of my two

grandchildren that have no idea what's going on with papa but always

are a huge comfort when they crawl up into my lap and snuggle and I

hear the words I love ya pups!! There isn't a pill that can compete

with having your family who always listens and never second guesses

what your going through!!

My wife has dealt with a lot of anguish over these past years and has

never shown any kind of animosity, with having to get a second job to

cover bills, watched our savings dwindle to next to nothing and never

letting me or the kids know how bad things were at certain times!! It

really goes to show when someone truly LOVES you what they'll do to

keep your spirits up so you don't feel the blunt of becoming sick has

done to everyone's life around you.

I thank God for her every day and for all she has done and dealt with

she's the true meaning of in sickness and health!!

Finally after 2 years we found out Friday that SSDI is kicking in and

now she'll get the rest she rightfully deserves!

So don't sit and wallow in DEPRESSION because those around you have

enough on their plate " Just keep smiling and they'll never know how

much pain your really in " .

Mark from Boston

January 31, 2007

Ouch! I know there are so many people worse off than me. I think tho if

you tell a burn patient – well you have less burns than the guy over there

–it doesn’t keep the burn from hurting….you know?

And I have NO explanation. Did you just start hurting one day? No

explanation, I was glad I was getting relief and that I was in much less

pain than most people.

But then huge pain increase – no reason. Not resolving.

And the ONE person I feel I should be able to talk to, doesn’t want to

listen.

How do you stay married and have a good relationship with someone that

doesn’t want to hear about a significant change in your life?

How do we keep a relationship alive that was founded on and continued to

include lots of activities – we always skied together, walked, hiked, biked

etc. Do you just wave goodby to them and stay home every time they go

somewhere and be HAPPY about it?

And I am actually having to consider placing my older son in a medical

facility??? Cause I cannot care for him! He is completely disabled and

dependent on me! If I had to do this, I really think he would die. He is

just 13.

And I am thinking I will have to cancel our family vacation in 4

weeks….cause I wont really be able to do anything. I don’t want to travel 8

hours to sit in a room somewhere else while everyone else goes to have fun.

My husband seems to think I am just going to wake up tomorrow and everything

will be fine.

Sorry. I know I am having a pity party right now and I guess I am preaching

to the choir. I was just thinking maybe this would be a good place to get

some understanding since I am not getting it at home.

JP

Re: depression....

Well I know this is hard on anyone and understand about your husband. I have

one that has back pain as well and he always seems to think his is worst

with one injury, I have three neck, center and lumber.

I can only tell you that most people don't want to know about your pain,

they don't know what to say about it and they can't help you with it.

I have learned over the pass two years to keep it to myself as much as I

can. I don't go anywhere, don't talk to many people and I keep to myself.

Most of the time I can't even deal with the smallest thing but I try to do

the best I can.

I pray alot and I know it isn't going to get better as far as pain goes but

I try not to think about it too much either.

I read and I lie down when I can't cope with it anymore.

I cope with all of this everyday and I even don't know what to tell you.

If you can talk with your husband or get your doctor to explain what kind of

pain you are dealing with and what he can expect to happen, that may help.

I talk with my doctor when I see her, because I know to a certain point she

does understand what we live with.

Lord, I wish I could just walk for 10 minutes much less 2 miles. They would

be carrying me back and putting me to bed.

There are alot of us that can't sit for long, can't stand for long, can't

lie down for long, can't sleep but a little at a time. Can't walk for long,

our balance is off and I would feel very lucky if I could walk a mile. We

have learned that we can't do like we use to and we have to depend on

friends and family for help doing things and financial aid just to make ends

met.

Alot of us can't afford medicine and have no insurance or Social Security

Disability and have no income, so we can't get the treatment we need.

I just thank God everyday that I can wake up and get out of bed. I always

try to remember that there is always some one that is worst off then me.

Good luck in the husband talk or the doctor/husband talk.

jen <HYPERLINK

" mailto:jennybonner13%40comcast.net " jennybonner13@-comcast.net> wrote:

I am sure most of you have dealt with this. In fact I can remember being on

the other side and not understanding the pain thing. And thinking if they

just got up off their butt they might feel better.

Hubby made an off hand comment about having to listen to me about my pain

and if you are going to exercise you are going to feel pain. Well I have no

problem with muscle pain…I worked out body building (even competed) and I

welcome that type of pain but this nerve pain is difficult.

And I did a pilates class the other night, went to get up and couldn’t bear

weight on my leg. I remember when this happened (had something that caused

a pain flare that sent me to the hospital in Sept – I still have no idea

what caused that and before that I could usually function with

blocks/nsaids/-stretching/-lidoderm patch/tens unit. But this is bad and it

doesn’t seem to be resolving. And I have no idea why or what caused it.

And I am getting very depressed.

My husband and I have always been the most active people I know. Skiing,

cycling (100 mile rides), running, walking, windsurfing, swimming, body

building etc. and I am struggling now to even get out and walk 2miles or do

some light cardio. I know he has no clue what I am feeling because before

all this, I had no clue what people in pain were feeling. And I am starting

to feel like this is not going to get better. And now I feel like I can’t

even talk to the one person that should support me – my husband. It seems

like he is getting tired of hearing it.

I called today to make another appointment at a back clinic that my

insurance case manager actually recommended. I am afraid my pain management

doc might get miffed – he is more intent on treating it than figuring out

what is causing it and while I need the pain management, I still need to

have a diagnosis.

I never thought I would take narcotics and I have crossed over to that side.

My friend said to me. How are you going to deal with this if it is

permanent? I thought she was insane….now I am starting to think she may be

right.

Any words of wisdom? What do you guys do when the ones close to you are

tired of hearing it? When you feel as though you can’t do anything you

would normally do as a family? We are supposed to go skiing with my parents

(yes they ski – all over Europe and out west) for a week in March. I don’t

even want to go now. Have any of you gone on to several docs before getting

a doc that finds your cause and treats your pain?

JP

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9:04 AM

January 31, 2007

Hi Jen,

Sorry about your pain.

You ask, have we gone through various doctors? Heck, yes.

I relate to what you are saying very much. For what that's worth.

I was an exercise nut since the '70's and you bet it's depressing not doing

what you loved doing.

I've been dismissed by doctors saying my mri looked " unremarkable " .

A chiropractor in May(after about close to a year in pain without answers)

said he saw how I could be in such pain from reading my mri report. He helped

and this summer I was better but still not where I was at before all of this.

After about 1 1/2 yrs I saw a doctor(this past Saturday) who seems to think he

knows where the pain is coming from and has a plan. Now it's a matter of waiting

for insurance to approve and then set dates.

This has been very hard on my husband. I could not hide my tears. He has dealt

with it so well and told me he will always be here for me.

I walk still. Not as much as I'd like but it is also cold out. I was walking a

lot more in the summer. And I have taken up reading and loving it.

Yes, I want my old life back and don't want my husband to feel bad and

helpless at times. He has shown more faith than me and I've been blessed with

him.

As far as pain pills, I hate them. I have found that the least offensive one

is Ultram. It is non narcotic but mimicks opoids and is synthetic. It does help

at times.

I said all of this to say, you are not alone. You may have to keep going to

doctors to find answers. It is very frustrating and depressing(I find it so). It

is a very hard thing to go through day in and day out of pain, not sure why, not

sure if you'll get better and not do what you love. We all have to find ways of

coping with it and find ways to make ourselves most comfortable and find things

that make us happy. I do find those things that I am grateful for and know in my

mind in can be worse but it's still hard.

I hope I expressed myself to your understanding. I hope you find your answers

and help.

Barbara

jen <jennybonner13@...> wrote:

I am sure most of you have dealt with this. In fact I can remember being on

the other side and not understanding the pain thing. And thinking if they

just got up off their butt they might feel better.

Hubby made an off hand comment about having to listen to me about my pain

and if you are going to exercise you are going to feel pain. Well I have no

problem with muscle pain…I worked out body building (even competed) and I

welcome that type of pain but this nerve pain is difficult.

And I did a pilates class the other night, went to get up and couldn’t bear

weight on my leg. I remember when this happened (had something that caused

a pain flare that sent me to the hospital in Sept – I still have no idea

what caused that and before that I could usually function with

blocks/nsaids/stretching/lidoderm patch/tens unit. But this is bad and it

doesn’t seem to be resolving. And I have no idea why or what caused it.

And I am getting very depressed.

My husband and I have always been the most active people I know. Skiing,

cycling (100 mile rides), running, walking, windsurfing, swimming, body

building etc. and I am struggling now to even get out and walk 2miles or do

some light cardio. I know he has no clue what I am feeling because before

all this, I had no clue what people in pain were feeling. And I am starting

to feel like this is not going to get better. And now I feel like I can’t

even talk to the one person that should support me – my husband. It seems

like he is getting tired of hearing it.

I called today to make another appointment at a back clinic that my

insurance case manager actually recommended. I am afraid my pain management

doc might get miffed – he is more intent on treating it than figuring out

what is causing it and while I need the pain management, I still need to

have a diagnosis.

I never thought I would take narcotics and I have crossed over to that side.

My friend said to me. How are you going to deal with this if it is

permanent? I thought she was insane….now I am starting to think she may be

right.

Any words of wisdom? What do you guys do when the ones close to you are

tired of hearing it? When you feel as though you can’t do anything you

would normally do as a family? We are supposed to go skiing with my parents

(yes they ski – all over Europe and out west) for a week in March. I don’t

even want to go now. Have any of you gone on to several docs before getting

a doc that finds your cause and treats your pain?

JP

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9:04 AM

January 31, 2007

Mark, You sound truly blessed. I slept with my daughter last night….I

couldn’t get in a bed with my husband when I was so angry with him. But you

know your little ones love you no matter what.

I just cant smile right now. I am sad and angry with my husband and my 6

year seems to be the one most concerned with me. Of course I don’t want him

to have any clue that anything is wrong but he must sense it.

Did you know what caused your pain? I think if I had a cause – like ok I

got hit by a car….a disc is out….etc then I could say…well I can get

treatment for this disc or surgery or use meds but I would know what I was

dealing with and that there were options to treat it.

In 5 yrs of seeing drs, still no explanation. And if I was doing the same.

I would just keep handling it. But now that it is worse with no

explanation. It is getting to me.

JP

Re: depression....

For the past 21/2 years I've had a support team that faithfully has

been their for me through counting last week 9 surgeries.

My wife and my kids and the smiling little faces of my two

grandchildren that have no idea what's going on with papa but always

are a huge comfort when they crawl up into my lap and snuggle and I

hear the words I love ya pups!! There isn't a pill that can compete

with having your family who always listens and never second guesses

what your going through!!

My wife has dealt with a lot of anguish over these past years and has

never shown any kind of animosity, with having to get a second job to

cover bills, watched our savings dwindle to next to nothing and never

letting me or the kids know how bad things were at certain times!! It

really goes to show when someone truly LOVES you what they'll do to

keep your spirits up so you don't feel the blunt of becoming sick has

done to everyone's life around you.

I thank God for her every day and for all she has done and dealt with

she's the true meaning of in sickness and health!!

Finally after 2 years we found out Friday that SSDI is kicking in and

now she'll get the rest she rightfully deserves!

So don't sit and wallow in DEPRESSION because those around you have

enough on their plate " Just keep smiling and they'll never know how

much pain your really in " .

Mark from Boston

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9:04 AM

January 31, 2007

Marsha…..they always treated me nice. Course now I am even more miffed

cause he said he would just block any area I am having pain, GREAT! Lets do

it. Cant get me in for 2 months??? And I am supposed to go on vacation

with my family and my parents in March. So I can go and not do anything or

I can stay home with my youngest and my oldest (cerebral palsey and severely

disabled) but then my husband and other son will be there with MY family.

Just seems like a huge waste. If I cancel it, I am the bad guy. But I

really don’t want to go, spend the money and sit in a room for a week.

jp

Re: depression....

jp, I have had it happen twice where i have been in pain and the doctors

treated me like i was a little old lady with depression. not pain. i am

still

pretty pissed about that. on to the next doctor. after my spine surgery in

may, i was healing pretty well then all of a sudden i started to be in more

and more pain and i thought maybe i was rejecting the hardware. my surgeon

said no way. but he was very attentive about what was going on. i went to an

arthritis specialist. he was the one that told me i was depressed.

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9:04 AM

January 31, 2007

Thanks!

Jp

Re: depression....

Hi Jen,

I said all of this to say, you are not alone. You may have to keep going to

doctors to find answers. It is very frustrating and depressing(I find it

so). It is a very hard thing to go through day in and day out of pain, not

sure why, not sure if you'll get better and not do what you love. We all

have to find ways of coping with it and find ways to make ourselves most

comfortable and find things that make us happy. I do find those things that

I am grateful for and know in my mind in can be worse but it's still hard.

I hope I expressed myself to your understanding. I hope you find your

answers and help.

Barbara

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9:04 AM

January 31, 2007

Well, I also understand about your son. There are people that can come into your

home and help if you have money and insurance and that kind of stuff. I have a

daughter that was also born with a birth defect. But life goes on.

As far as a vacation, most of us can't afford one much less think about going

outside our homes for such a vacation.

As far as marriage, you know my husband might think his pain is worst at

times, but I thought marriage was based on love not what we can or can't do. My

husband is 31 years old and I am older then him and I asked him " Why Do You

Stay? " This is what he told me, " When I asked you to marry me, I told you, I was

not going any where, so you might as well say yes now. " I stay because " I love

You. " If he was in the same shape as I am in and could not work and I could, I

would be doing so and still love him. Life isn't easy by a long shot and no one

promise it would be all roses. It is all roses but with a lot of thorns built

in.

I could sit here every day and moan and whine about my sitution as well, but

why? We are here to support one another as for treatment and such. I could even

pity you, but will that help you in any way. I am not going to join you in your

pity party as you call it. There is much worst in this world without adding to

it.

I am sorry but if you want to cry do so and get over it. Go on with your life

and if you can't built upon your marriage for better or for worst then get out,

and go on with life. It is that simple.

If you don't like the treatment that you are getting there are plenty of

doctors out there that will be more then happy to take your money, so get a new

one.

jen <jennybonner13@...> wrote:

Ouch! I know there are so many people worse off than me. I think tho if

you tell a burn patient – well you have less burns than the guy over there

–it doesn’t keep the burn from hurting….you know?

And I have NO explanation. Did you just start hurting one day? No

explanation, I was glad I was getting relief and that I was in much less

pain than most people.

But then huge pain increase – no reason. Not resolving.

And the ONE person I feel I should be able to talk to, doesn’t want to

listen.

How do you stay married and have a good relationship with someone that

doesn’t want to hear about a significant change in your life?

How do we keep a relationship alive that was founded on and continued to

include lots of activities – we always skied together, walked, hiked, biked

etc. Do you just wave goodby to them and stay home every time they go

somewhere and be HAPPY about it?

And I am actually having to consider placing my older son in a medical

facility??? Cause I cannot care for him! He is completely disabled and

dependent on me! If I had to do this, I really think he would die. He is

just 13.

And I am thinking I will have to cancel our family vacation in 4

weeks….cause I wont really be able to do anything. I don’t want to travel 8

hours to sit in a room somewhere else while everyone else goes to have fun.

My husband seems to think I am just going to wake up tomorrow and everything

will be fine.

Sorry. I know I am having a pity party right now and I guess I am preaching

to the choir. I was just thinking maybe this would be a good place to get

some understanding since I am not getting it at home.

JP

Re: depression....

Well I know this is hard on anyone and understand about your husband. I have

one that has back pain as well and he always seems to think his is worst

with one injury, I have three neck, center and lumber.

I can only tell you that most people don't want to know about your pain,

they don't know what to say about it and they can't help you with it.

I have learned over the pass two years to keep it to myself as much as I

can. I don't go anywhere, don't talk to many people and I keep to myself.

Most of the time I can't even deal with the smallest thing but I try to do

the best I can.

I pray alot and I know it isn't going to get better as far as pain goes but

I try not to think about it too much either.

I read and I lie down when I can't cope with it anymore.

I cope with all of this everyday and I even don't know what to tell you.

If you can talk with your husband or get your doctor to explain what kind of

pain you are dealing with and what he can expect to happen, that may help.

I talk with my doctor when I see her, because I know to a certain point she

does understand what we live with.

Lord, I wish I could just walk for 10 minutes much less 2 miles. They would

be carrying me back and putting me to bed.

There are alot of us that can't sit for long, can't stand for long, can't

lie down for long, can't sleep but a little at a time. Can't walk for long,

our balance is off and I would feel very lucky if I could walk a mile. We

have learned that we can't do like we use to and we have to depend on

friends and family for help doing things and financial aid just to make ends

met.

Alot of us can't afford medicine and have no insurance or Social Security

Disability and have no income, so we can't get the treatment we need.

I just thank God everyday that I can wake up and get out of bed. I always

try to remember that there is always some one that is worst off then me.

Good luck in the husband talk or the doctor/husband talk.

jen " mailto:jennybonner13%40comcast.net " jennybonner13@-comcast.net> wrote:

I am sure most of you have dealt with this. In fact I can remember being on

the other side and not understanding the pain thing. And thinking if they

just got up off their butt they might feel better.

Hubby made an off hand comment about having to listen to me about my pain

and if you are going to exercise you are going to feel pain. Well I have no

problem with muscle pain…I worked out body building (even competed) and I

welcome that type of pain but this nerve pain is difficult.

And I did a pilates class the other night, went to get up and couldn’t bear

weight on my leg. I remember when this happened (had something that caused

a pain flare that sent me to the hospital in Sept – I still have no idea

what caused that and before that I could usually function with

blocks/nsaids/-stretching/-lidoderm patch/tens unit. But this is bad and it

doesn’t seem to be resolving. And I have no idea why or what caused it.

And I am getting very depressed.

My husband and I have always been the most active people I know. Skiing,

cycling (100 mile rides), running, walking, windsurfing, swimming, body

building etc. and I am struggling now to even get out and walk 2miles or do

some light cardio. I know he has no clue what I am feeling because before

all this, I had no clue what people in pain were feeling. And I am starting

to feel like this is not going to get better. And now I feel like I can’t

even talk to the one person that should support me – my husband. It seems

like he is getting tired of hearing it.

I called today to make another appointment at a back clinic that my

insurance case manager actually recommended. I am afraid my pain management

doc might get miffed – he is more intent on treating it than figuring out

what is causing it and while I need the pain management, I still need to

have a diagnosis.

I never thought I would take narcotics and I have crossed over to that side.

My friend said to me. How are you going to deal with this if it is

permanent? I thought she was insane….now I am starting to think she may be

right.

Any words of wisdom? What do you guys do when the ones close to you are

tired of hearing it? When you feel as though you can’t do anything you

would normally do as a family? We are supposed to go skiing with my parents

(yes they ski – all over Europe and out west) for a week in March. I don’t

even want to go now. Have any of you gone on to several docs before getting

a doc that finds your cause and treats your pain?

JP

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9:04 AM

January 31, 2007

Hi again Jen,

Did you read my post? I understand.

A year and a half ago, I woke up with lower back pain that I thought would

just go away as all the pain had done in the past from all the physical activity

and most likely abuse, I put on my body. Well, the burning in my lower back went

away but transferred down both legs.

I had no explanation either. Went to a chiropractor, massage therapist,

regular doctor, spine specialist , orthopedic, physical therapist.....The worst

were the " spine specialist " and the orthopedic. You would think they would know

but they should have been arrested for impersonating doctors.

Like I said in my last post, I know there are others way worse off and I

appreciate what I have but of course don't appreciate the pain or the fact that

I moved where I'm at and had planned on becoming rugged by hiking and it was

only one month being here did this happen.

But, I do believe your spouse should listen and console you.

He needs to understand what you are feeling.

I couldn't and wouldn't sit in a car for 8 hours. It bugs me and aggravates my

back sitting for less time.

You have to deal with what you have right now until you find a doctor to

diagnose you and offer some help or relief. I know it's been a long struggle for

me and I do my best to seem okay at various times/situations. Hopefully you will

get relief and you'll be able to do what you used to do. Right now, you probably

just don't want the pain. I hate telling anyone what to do, only can say, what

I've been through. If you really need something for pain to help your day then

try it. Don't give up or think the worse.

Take care of yourself.

Barbara

jen <jennybonner13@...> wrote:

Ouch! I know there are so many people worse off than me. I think tho if

you tell a burn patient – well you have less burns than the guy over there

–it doesn’t keep the burn from hurting….you know?

And I have NO explanation. Did you just start hurting one day? No

explanation, I was glad I was getting relief and that I was in much less

pain than most people.

But then huge pain increase – no reason. Not resolving.

And the ONE person I feel I should be able to talk to, doesn’t want to

listen.

How do you stay married and have a good relationship with someone that

doesn’t want to hear about a significant change in your life?

How do we keep a relationship alive that was founded on and continued to

include lots of activities – we always skied together, walked, hiked, biked

etc. Do you just wave goodby to them and stay home every time they go

somewhere and be HAPPY about it?

And I am actually having to consider placing my older son in a medical

facility??? Cause I cannot care for him! He is completely disabled and

dependent on me! If I had to do this, I really think he would die. He is

just 13.

And I am thinking I will have to cancel our family vacation in 4

weeks….cause I wont really be able to do anything. I don’t want to travel 8

hours to sit in a room somewhere else while everyone else goes to have fun.

My husband seems to think I am just going to wake up tomorrow and everything

will be fine.

Sorry. I know I am having a pity party right now and I guess I am preaching

to the choir. I was just thinking maybe this would be a good place to get

some understanding since I am not getting it at home.

JP

Re: depression....

Well I know this is hard on anyone and understand about your husband. I have

one that has back pain as well and he always seems to think his is worst

with one injury, I have three neck, center and lumber.

I can only tell you that most people don't want to know about your pain,

they don't know what to say about it and they can't help you with it.

I have learned over the pass two years to keep it to myself as much as I

can. I don't go anywhere, don't talk to many people and I keep to myself.

Most of the time I can't even deal with the smallest thing but I try to do

the best I can.

I pray alot and I know it isn't going to get better as far as pain goes but

I try not to think about it too much either.

I read and I lie down when I can't cope with it anymore.

I cope with all of this everyday and I even don't know what to tell you.

If you can talk with your husband or get your doctor to explain what kind of

pain you are dealing with and what he can expect to happen, that may help.

I talk with my doctor when I see her, because I know to a certain point she

does understand what we live with.

Lord, I wish I could just walk for 10 minutes much less 2 miles. They would

be carrying me back and putting me to bed.

There are alot of us that can't sit for long, can't stand for long, can't

lie down for long, can't sleep but a little at a time. Can't walk for long,

our balance is off and I would feel very lucky if I could walk a mile. We

have learned that we can't do like we use to and we have to depend on

friends and family for help doing things and financial aid just to make ends

met.

Alot of us can't afford medicine and have no insurance or Social Security

Disability and have no income, so we can't get the treatment we need.

I just thank God everyday that I can wake up and get out of bed. I always

try to remember that there is always some one that is worst off then me.

Good luck in the husband talk or the doctor/husband talk.

jen " mailto:jennybonner13%40comcast.net " jennybonner13@-comcast.net> wrote:

I am sure most of you have dealt with this. In fact I can remember being on

the other side and not understanding the pain thing. And thinking if they

just got up off their butt they might feel better.

Hubby made an off hand comment about having to listen to me about my pain

and if you are going to exercise you are going to feel pain. Well I have no

problem with muscle pain…I worked out body building (even competed) and I

welcome that type of pain but this nerve pain is difficult.

And I did a pilates class the other night, went to get up and couldn’t bear

weight on my leg. I remember when this happened (had something that caused

a pain flare that sent me to the hospital in Sept – I still have no idea

what caused that and before that I could usually function with

blocks/nsaids/-stretching/-lidoderm patch/tens unit. But this is bad and it

doesn’t seem to be resolving. And I have no idea why or what caused it.

And I am getting very depressed.

My husband and I have always been the most active people I know. Skiing,

cycling (100 mile rides), running, walking, windsurfing, swimming, body

building etc. and I am struggling now to even get out and walk 2miles or do

some light cardio. I know he has no clue what I am feeling because before

all this, I had no clue what people in pain were feeling. And I am starting

to feel like this is not going to get better. And now I feel like I can’t

even talk to the one person that should support me – my husband. It seems

like he is getting tired of hearing it.

I called today to make another appointment at a back clinic that my

insurance case manager actually recommended. I am afraid my pain management

doc might get miffed – he is more intent on treating it than figuring out

what is causing it and while I need the pain management, I still need to

have a diagnosis.

I never thought I would take narcotics and I have crossed over to that side.

My friend said to me. How are you going to deal with this if it is

permanent? I thought she was insane….now I am starting to think she may be

right.

Any words of wisdom? What do you guys do when the ones close to you are

tired of hearing it? When you feel as though you can’t do anything you

would normally do as a family? We are supposed to go skiing with my parents

(yes they ski – all over Europe and out west) for a week in March. I don’t

even want to go now. Have any of you gone on to several docs before getting

a doc that finds your cause and treats your pain?

JP

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9:04 AM

January 31, 2007

I know you're talking to Marsha, hope u don't mind...

Why not suggest this to your husband that he go with your other child.

You're not being " the bad guy " , heck, you wished you were well enough to go,

but physically can't.

If he says yeah, and goes, well..

He might get it and say no, we'll all stay home.

Whatever, at least you can give him the option but you aren't " a bad guy " ,

just someone in pain.