new here...when to know if Im accommodating or enabling...

[Guest guest]

My youngest of 6 has recently been diagnosed with AS, she is 9; all these years

we were told she had a neurological disorder and mild cp, within a very short

time of relocating, she was finally properly diagnosed. There have been lots of

changes for us all and having husband out of work does add stress to all of us,

being in a new church after 13 yrs of being in the same one is also quite hard

on the kids, especially a couple of them. we all love our church and they are

wonderful there but I do have concerns about my little one. Kari gets so scared

and shakes and cries at the talking about going into Sunday School and now she

wont return to childrens church because its too loud. I do allow her into my

sunday school class and she is very good and doesnt interrupt at all. How do I

know if Im making healthy accommodations vs enabling her to continue to

disengage? Is this all typical behavior? To see her in a group of girls and all

are laughing and having fun but her is so hard, kids are really nice to her too

but she says herself that she doesnt think like them and really gets bothered

when they play dolls and they use their voices to speak for them. Kari says that

is not right because they are vinyl and cant talk. Her way of playing is to

dress them and tuck them in their beds. Is this also typical play behavior? I

guess I want to be sure I dont spoil her and at the same time make it so she

never has to do what shes uncomfortable with however I want her to grow and try

new things and if its too much then go on to something else but church is a few

times weekly. So Im not sure how to handle this. Thank you for suggestions. I am

learning and looking forward to learning from all of you also. Take care. Lynne

[Guest guest]

Lynne,It is not unusual for kids with AS to be sound sensitive or think in very literal terms.  You could look into getting your daughter's hearing checked by an audiologist.  I know of one family that had specialized ear plugs made for their daughter for use in " loud " places so that she is not overstimulated because it triggers seizures.  I know of another girl on the spectrum who is scared of " talking toys " and will not pretend play with voices coming from inanimate objects because she feels it is not right.  She enjoys playing with dolls in the same fashion as your daughter, so your daughter is not alone in this.  You are fortunate that your daughter is aware enough of how things affect her and can articulate and communicate with you what it is that is bothering her or how she is thinking.  I think you're being very in tune to her needs by accommodating her and not forcing her into situations or types of play just to fit in.

ValOn Sun, Jul 17, 2011 at 6:10 AM, Lynne <momof6incfl@...> wrote:

 

My youngest of 6 has recently been diagnosed with AS, she is 9; all these years we were told she had a neurological disorder and mild cp, within a very short time of relocating, she was finally properly diagnosed. There have been lots of changes for us all and having husband out of work does add stress to all of us, being in a new church after 13 yrs of being in the same one is also quite hard on the kids, especially a couple of them. we all love our church and they are wonderful there but I do have concerns about my little one. Kari gets so scared and shakes and cries at the talking about going into Sunday School and now she wont return to childrens church because its too loud. I do allow her into my sunday school class and she is very good and doesnt interrupt at all. How do I know if Im making healthy accommodations vs enabling her to continue to disengage? Is this all typical behavior? To see her in a group of girls and all are laughing and having fun but her is so hard, kids are really nice to her too but she says herself that she doesnt think like them and really gets bothered when they play dolls and they use their voices to speak for them. Kari says that is not right because they are vinyl and cant talk. Her way of playing is to dress them and tuck them in their beds. Is this also typical play behavior? I guess I want to be sure I dont spoil her and at the same time make it so she never has to do what shes uncomfortable with however I want her to grow and try new things and if its too much then go on to something else but church is a few times weekly. So Im not sure how to handle this. Thank you for suggestions. I am learning and looking forward to learning from all of you also. Take care. Lynne