Re: Ever heard of a toddler weaning himself??

[Guest guest]

Hello!

Thanks for all of the encouraging words and warm welcomes!!!! This forum

makes me feel like I am not alone out there!!!! ;~)

I do have a dilemma. I was happily/proudly touting that my son is still

breastfeeding at 15 months, just a short time ago. Well, now he will barely

nurse. He has very gradually decreased his nursing times. He will only

nurse every few days - early in the morning when he is not fully awake and

even then for only a few minutes. It's very upsetting (am I crazy??!!). He

seems to be too busy and nosey and will not sit still long enough to nurse

anymore. I really want to keep nursing him but am getting very discouraged

at his disinterest. I know it is soooooo healthy for them too. Am also

worried about losing my milk as I know it's supply and demand.

He comes up to me and does the milk sign to nurse (I taught him a few signs)

- and then when he starts to - he jumps up and goes and plays with his toys

or chases the dog, etc. I have even tried going to a very quiet dark room -

but no luck. :-(

Any suggestions? He already has all of his teeth (from what I can tell - 16

are in there to be exact) - so have ruled out teething/pain.

Help!!

I have friends who told me that there little ones " weaned themselves " at 2

and 3 months - which I find hard to believe. But does anyone know anything

about weaning at 15 months or older?

Appreciate any insight on this.

Kind Regards,

Kirstie

Re: New to the Group

Hi everybody! If you want encouragement for breastfeeding, just ask me. I

breastfed my first son until he was four years old, and my second, until he

was six! Did it in public until he was three. Don't let anyone discourage

you. (It was so long ago, now, that even I am amazed.) Sandy

[Guest guest]

Kirstie, It's been a long time now - 10 years in fact - but here's a few

thoughts. I think that at this point, your toddler is probably weaning

himself. That's okay - perhaps you can set ups quiet times, particularly in

the morning when he wakes up and when he goes to sleep, and maybe naptime,

to encourage him to continue nursing. That way, if he is interested at all,

your milk won't dry up. Then if his interest rekindles, you will be able to

continue nursing. But if he's no longer interested, he's no longer

interested.

I completely understand your frustration - my boys nursed as long as I let

them, and that was a long time, as I mentioned before.

You might call La Leche League to find someone in your area to talk to about

this. In fact, here's their site: http://www.lalecheleague.org/

They are usually very good.

Good luck. My heart goes out to you. I don't think the moms who love

nursing can ever be ready for it to end. Sandy in Alaska

[Guest guest]

Sandy,

Thanks so much for the information and support!!! I can't believe how

upset I feel about his weaning. There is such a strong bond there...sniff!

I plan to give LLL a call when I get a chance. I just bought a book

entitled, Mothering Your Nursing Toddler that LLL supports - I've heard

there are some creative suggestions as to how to keep your baby nursing.

Will give it a read tonight!

Again, this group is amazing and offers so much. Am very happy I found all

of you!!! I now have backup to prove why vax are so dangerous/unhealthy and

plan to use all of this great information to any naysayers that I encounter!

Keep up the excellent emails!

Kind Regards,

Kirstie

Re: Ever heard of a toddler weaning himself??

Kirstie, It's been a long time now - 10 years in fact - but here's a few

thoughts. I think that at this point, your toddler is probably weaning

himself. That's okay - perhaps you can set ups quiet times, particularly in

the morning when he wakes up and when he goes to sleep, and maybe naptime,

to encourage him to continue nursing. That way, if he is interested at all,

your milk won't dry up. Then if his interest rekindles, you will be able to

continue nursing. But if he's no longer interested, he's no longer

interested.

I completely understand your frustration - my boys nursed as long as I let

them, and that was a long time, as I mentioned before.

You might call La Leche League to find someone in your area to talk to about

this. In fact, here's their site: http://www.lalecheleague.org/

They are usually very good.

Good luck. My heart goes out to you. I don't think the moms who love

nursing can ever be ready for it to end. Sandy in Alaska

[Guest guest]

Hi Kirstie,

It sounds to me a lot less like weaning and a lot more like normal toddler

behavior. This is the time that he is discovering what is around him and it

is sooo exciting to him. It also doesn't seem to fit the description of a

nursing strike as he is not necessarily " refusing " the breast as he is just

very distracted.

This is a very common time for weaning *because of* the toddler dropping the

frequency of nursings. Even though the world average weaning age is 5, many

people are suprised to see babies older than a year still nursing. You often

get comments like, " Oh, well you nursed him for a really long time anyway. "

There isn't a whole lot of support for extending nursing. Well, online there

is, but you have to search it out.

My daughter recently went through this at about the same age (she has just

turned 21 months and we got through it) and at this age of development, they

can hardly contain themselves, especially if they have recently become

mobile. My SIL visited with her 9 week old and my daughter was incredibly

interested in this baby's eating patterns. I had gotten my SIL some nursing

tea and I decided to have a cup with her each time she had one. My increased

supply as well as my little one demanding to nurse each time the baby ate

really made a difference. She is back to her old pattern and going strong.

Some suggestions that were made to me that might help are:

*Make yourself available to him, especially exposing yourself to him (that

might sound wrong but if he sees the boob, he might be remided to come and

get some:)!)

*Take baths together (this becomes a time when the rest of the world

dissapears and it is just the two of you, and again, he has total access to

your breast)

*Drink some nursing tea, something with nettles, fenugreek,

etc...(Traditional Medicinals makes a great tea called Mother's Milk)

Your increased supply might make him more likely to stick around for more.

*Pump (I have found that a good quality pump makes all the difference in the

amount you can get) Give him your milk in a cup *AFTER* you have nursed him

so that it doesn't take the place of nursing. This can also help keep your

supply up until he decides to pick back up where he left off.

* If you don't share a bed, try it. This makes night time nursing so much

easier. And many times, when a toddler is too distracted during the day,

sleeping times are the only time you can get them to slow down enough to

nurse. Let him have free reign of the boob at night. It is amazing the

amount of nursing that can be accomplished,even while you or your son sleep.

* Lay down with your son during nap time and let him nurse then. With a

toddler, you tend to get so involved with your day that it is easy to let

the time in between nursings get away from you. This gives both of you a

needed " together " break.

*There is a term " Don't Offer, Don't Refuse " that I am now learning about.

This leads to weaning. If you just let your toddler nurse only when he shows

interest, he can very easily forget about it. Make sure you offer

frequently.

* Talk to him about nursing. Remind him, maybe in story form, about how

wonderful nursing is. Mention it now and then throughout the day. Read books

that show pictures or drawings of babies and animals nursing.

* Remove all bottles and sippy cups. Anything that requires sucking can take

the place of your breast. The child's need for sucking is fulfilled and

these artificial things can affect the way a child sucks. If he is not able

to get a good latch, he will not get as much milk and eventually, it will

lead to lower supply.

* DON'T GIVE UP!

I weaned my older daughter early because when she stopped nursing, I didn't

know about any of this. She was 17 months old and everyone around me (even

those who were supportive) were amazed that I had nursed her for so long. My

milk supply stuck around for a couple of months after she stopped. I thought

it was just because my body had been so used to nursing (I had nursed my son

through my next pregnancy, 5 years and a handful of months total) and was

taking awhile to go back to " normal " . I should have taken it as a sign that

my baby wasn't ready to wean and my body was waiting for her to come back.

There have been many times since then that she has shown signs that I took

it away from her too early. Even now at age 6 1/2, she gets teary eyed when

she talks about how she wishes she could still nurse.

It sounds like you are very aware of the benefits of breastmilk. My view is

that if they are young enough to need some sort of supplement or replacement

if you stop nursing, then they are too young. I do not in any way think that

the babies you mentioned weaned on their own. Only if the mother is doing a

lot of " wrong " things (such as supplementing with formula, leaving the baby

for long periods of time with a bottle, etc) would a baby stop nursing on

it's own. Even then, I think that if he were given the chance to nurse

again, he would. I am sad for these babies.

A really great source I have found that supports EBF is

http://www.alternamoms.com/cgi-bin/dcforum/dcboard.cgi

Go down and click on the Breastfeeding forum. This is a wonderful site. I am

always amazed at the knowlege put out here. You can " read only " and also

check out the archives without signing up. It does take a few days to get

approved if you want to join.

Definitely check them out and look into the archives as well.

Well, I am sure I have taken enough space now so the only other thing I

could add is good luck and well wishes.

Thank you for nurturing your baby!

Katrina

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[Guest guest]

Kirstie,

My daughter also recently weaned herself at about 15 months, although I believe

it is b/c I am pregnant and my supply started to decrease, just at the same time

that her nursings became less frequent. I was heartbroken, but she's fine. The

only advice I can give you is try to keep your supply up (I'm asuming you're not

pregnant). Pump at least once a day, more if you can. He may just be going

through a phase, as at this age toddlers really start to explore the world

outside of mama, and he may just be temporarily distracted. I also find it hard

to believe that babies under 6 months would wean themselves, and I was surprised

that my daughter weeaned herself, but its possible that your little guy is just

ready to move on. Maybe you can pump some milk and give it to him in a cup, so

at least he's still getting breastmilk. I really missed being able to give

Mischa breastmilk the last time she had a cold. Good luck.

[Guest guest]

Kirstie,

My youngest boy is almost 17 months and does the same thing. My oldest

dd began to " wean " herself around 17 months too, though not quite the way

my son has. Just getting toddler busy and harder to settle down for

quite breastfeeding. But it was a much different situation with dd

because I was pregnant at the time and breastfeeding my daughter too, but

then I hemoraged halfway through pregnancy and nearly lost my son. For

almost 8 days I couldn't dare to breastfeed so we didn't risk

contractions and miscarriage. Even after that it had to be sparingly.

Then during the same two weeks all of us, including my daughter, came

down with severe congestive colds, which made breastfeeding impossible

for dd. In the end my breastmilk dried up and my dd downright refused

any notion of breastfeeding even after it the colds were over. It was a

very miserable way for my daughter to suddenly be weaned, for both of us.

A few months later, after my son was born and my milk was back in again,

I offered the breast to my daughter who hadn't even turned two yet. She

oddly didn't seem to remember breastfeeding, but did take the breast a

few short times then. Yet never could make it stick. But the time,

before the pregnancy bleeding, dd was very energetic and hard to tie down

for feedings as well.

Both kids have/had so much energy that they just don't/didn't want to be

still long enough to nurse. I encourage it as much as possible around

sleepy times when he is most likely to be receptive and be still. My son

prefers to nurse in the morning just before he fully wakes up. In fact

it's almost like his coffee for the day. He's cranky until he gets that

nipple, no matter what else he might eat before then. And I look for

times when he's getting tired - like right after running around the yard

and playing hard, etc. to encourae a feeding. I also found it easier for

him and I both to lay down in a darkened and quiter room. Main thing is

to avoid distractions that will get him jumping up and running off for

more interesting fun. Distraction has so much to do with it and really

isn't so much " weaning " like some say. I also personally don't worry

about nursing in the middle of the night and if he wants to nurse just

pull him into bed with us. Has always worked well for us. If he

fidgets, I just stick him back in his bed with no problem. Also might

want to watch the times you feed him his regular meals and plan on a

breast feeding just before a regular meal or around the time he'd be

getting a snack. He won't want to nurse much if he's already full.

Breatfeed first. Also, there are some excellent teas designed to

encourage breast milk production you might check into at your local

herb/natural stuff store. Plus be sure you get plenty of fluids

yourself. Sometimes we forget as our milk slacks off a bit. But it's

very important to stay properly hydrated to maintain a milk supply.

Something else you can consider is a breast pump to give breast milk to

him in his cup or otherwise. The bond between baby and mommy with

breastfeeding is great, but there will come a time that baby ventures

from mommy, sooner or later. But you can still cuddle for mommy bonding

and even still make sure he gets the benefit of the breastmilk when he

doesn't nurse with a breast-pump. Medela pumps are among the best. LLL

also sells these or find one at any good maternity/bra shop. But I have

also found hand expression even easier at times. Figure out what works

for you. Either way, if you want to keep your milk, I would suggest

trying to encourage at least one daily feeding. It gets hard for your

body to maintain a supply when you go a few days consistently without a

feeding. Even if he won't take it, express some milk in the shower or

something. Anything to keep the milk glands stimulated is better than

nothing. But baby is best and sometimes it's important to " encourage "

baby that it is now time to breastfeed, just as there's a time to play,

bathe, sleep, go potty and eat dinner. Don't give up. And I'll admit

that planning your day a bit can really help. Sometimes we mothers get

so busy pulling our hair out that we're the ones somewhat at fault for

our child being too busy to breastfeed. When we calm and slow down,

often it helps our children calm and slow down too.

Best of luck. And contact LLL if you would like a good support group.

Jules in TX

mommabiker@...

AKA: bikermom and mommamotorbiker on other lists

--- The caliber of a man is often determined by the amount of opposition

it takes to discourage him ---

On Mon, 30 Oct 2000 08:39:53 -0800 " Lyons, Kirstie N. "

<klyons@...> writes:

> Hello!

>

> Thanks for all of the encouraging words and warm welcomes!!!! This

> forum

> makes me feel like I am not alone out there!!!! ;~)

>

> I do have a dilemma. I was happily/proudly touting that my son is

> still

> breastfeeding at 15 months, just a short time ago. Well, now he

> will barely

> nurse. He has very gradually decreased his nursing times. He will

> only

> nurse every few days - early in the morning when he is not fully

> awake and

> even then for only a few minutes. It's very upsetting (am I

> crazy??!!). He

> seems to be too busy and nosey and will not sit still long enough to

> nurse

> anymore. I really want to keep nursing him but am getting very

> discouraged

> at his disinterest. I know it is soooooo healthy for them too. Am

> also

> worried about losing my milk as I know it's supply and demand.

>

> He comes up to me and does the milk sign to nurse (I taught him a

> few signs)

> - and then when he starts to - he jumps up and goes and plays with

> his toys

> or chases the dog, etc. I have even tried going to a very quiet dark

> room -

> but no luck. :-(

>

> Any suggestions? He already has all of his teeth (from what I can

> tell - 16

> are in there to be exact) - so have ruled out teething/pain.

>

> Help!!

>

> I have friends who told me that there little ones " weaned

> themselves " at 2

> and 3 months - which I find hard to believe. But does anyone know

> anything

> about weaning at 15 months or older?

>

> Appreciate any insight on this.

>

> Kind Regards,

> Kirstie

>

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