Would you cancel?

[Guest guest]

I have an appointment with an NHS endo, (not on Sheila's list) and I have

delayed and delayed my appointment (kept rescheduling)for nearly 3 mths mainly

because I'm scared. I saw Dr P end of October and he diagnosed me and I have

been self treating since, I'm happy to have a diagnosis and at the moment I can

afford to self treat, however I may not always be in a position to do so and

having seen Dr P privately none of this information will be in my NHS notes, so

if I were to be taken into hospital they wouldn't know what medications I'm on

etc. To me that's the only benefit of seeing an NHS endo, but that's if I got

anywhere with him, which deep down I don't think I would, as my TSH is perfectly

normal to them and my FT4 and FT3 are within range, so because nothing is out of

range I think it will be a waste of my time and will get me worked up and

anxious, I'm anxious just thinking about it, I feel it would be a fight, and I'm

not strong enough for a fight. When I've spoken to my Mum and my Husband about

cancelling they disagree (but they haven't read the awful experiences of the

members on here)and think I'd be silly to cancel, that I should just go along

and see what happens/how far I get. Dr P recommended back in October not to

bother, and asked me how I would convince them, and he said in a nice way my

arguements would hold no weight and would be blanked, he told my husband not to

put me through the ordeal.

I really don't want to go but that's got a lot to do with my anxiety and fear of

doc appointments,I hate even going to the GP and border on panic attacks when I

do have to go (I avoid going at all costs if I can help it) It used to be a joke

that I'd rather go to the dentist than the GP, I've been like that for years. I

thought by postponing I would have improved and felt strong enough to go, and

could have said I'm taking meds and feeling better, but I still don't feel any

better yet (I know it's only been 3mths). I've got a lot of stress in my life

at the moment and feel pretty overwhelmed and unable to cope with so much.

Would you just cancel?

Sandie.