Is it ok to have a small rant?

January 25, 2012

Dear All,

Since my first post, I have been following the posts on here - realising with

horror just how much I don't know! and reading Stop The Thyroid Madness, which

I'm finding very useful. I am also booked in with the private endo on Monday

evening.

I had the blood tests that the GP offered to do on the NHS last Friday; the

nurse " punctured " my vein(?) and caused bleeding into the muscles in my arm; by

lunchtime my elbow was twice its normal size and I had severe swelling from my

wrist to my armpit. In all my blood tests this has never happened, when I

phoned the surgery the nurse laughed at me. Not so funny here, my boyf had to

fly to the US on business on Saturday, I spent the weekend managing one handed

and am still in pain now.

I find it hard when he's away to keep my symptoms in check, over the years we've

split the jobs round the house so that I don't get too tired or stressed and

thus upset the balance. I am never not symptomatic, but I can control the level

to which I am if I follow a strict routine and I can only go 3-4 days before I

start to notice that I'm slipping. I have done everything this week I can to

minimise the extra to-dos (oven dinners, early nights, no housework) but I stood

in front of my wardrobe this morning in tears because I couldn't face work and

had to leave at 2.30pm when I started retching and shaking, on top of the

inability to stay warm, the swollen and painful joints, " flu " aches and just

plain exhaustion. Oh, and more tears, always good in an open plan office! Its

ironic, because I've been having a good couple of weeks and was wondering if I

was wasting people's time - that wonderful self-doubt that conventional thyroid

treatment seems to drum into all of us at some point.

So, to the point of my rant. After a horrible week and a horrible day, I phoned

the GPs to confirm that they will give me a copy of my test results tomorrow. I

am waiting to see if I get my referral letter, they didn't like that I asked at

all, I feel another argument coming on. They said that the nurse wanted to

speak to me about my blood tests and it seems that my B12 level is low enough to

warrant weekly injections for an undisclosed period of time. I'm not surprised,

my B12 level officially fell out of the normal range this time last year, but as

it was only by a couple of points the GP told me that I was depressive and

looking for things wrong with me, it was then that she referred me to the

therapist! I've been taking B12 since, obviously not enough. They wanted me to

go in tomorrow. I said no, I want to see the consultant first. The nurse got

really huffy with me. I just want to scream!

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