Guest guest Posted August 17, 2008 Report Share Posted August 17, 2008 I think I asked this question before but am going to post on a popular blog about housing issues and need more info. I am looking for info on group homes in IL. Two of my three brothers live in group homes. I like one way better than the other but I have some issues with both of them. First, I don't think grown men should have to share a room and second I don't think group homes should close on the holidays. I understand alot of this is due to funding. My older brother lives on his own in section 8 housing. My other brothers are not quite able to live on their own. I am looking to hear about people's experiences with group homes in general and specifically about group homes in IL. Thanks Nora **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-Volkswagen-Jetta-2009/expert-review?ncid=aolaut000300\ 00000007 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2008 Report Share Posted August 17, 2008 Ellen I have posted on a few lists and if I get anything interesting I will pass it on. My sister and I do volunteer and fundraise for the agency that my brothers get their services from. My brother 's home is for men with both a mental illness and a developmental disability. There are 5 men living there and only one of them has his own room. This really upsets me as they need their privacy more than anyone. If one of them is having a crisis then the other one gets no sleep. Sleep is so crucial to keeping people with mental illness out of crisis. My brother Pat's home is much nicer but we pay more out of pocket for it (they are not currently Medicaid eligible due to lack of future planning - long story). We hoping to move Pat and Mike in together. We had been told that they could not live together and we thought had to be in a dual diagnosis home but we have learned that both of those are not true. moved out of my sisters home on an emergency basis when his mental illness made it impossible for my sister to care for him. We kind of had to take what we could get at the time. It was very hard to move him there and we shed many tears. We are working on both improving his home and moving him to a better place. Thanks Ellen. Nora In a message dated 8/17/2008 2:33:44 PM Central Daylight Time, egskb@... writes: Since we are not quite there yet, I too would love to hear more about group homes. Nora, I agree completely about shared rooms, but then don't get me started about 7-8 people living in one house, to begin with!!! There had been some legislation on the table about group homes being limited in size (no more than 4 people) with everyone having their own bedrooms, but it didn't get passed. The problem in legislating this is that then every agency will go out and purchase homes for 4 people, when indeed, some individuals (especially those with autism) do much better with only 1 or two roommates and some may really need to be alone with a support person...so, sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for... That said, shared bedrooms, 3 or 4 people to a bathroom...these are not acceptable living conditions, in my opinion. Funding being what it is, I get the fact that there is no money to do better...for families who can afford it, shared cost vis a vis, families purchasing a house or condo and providing funds for much of the upkeep and maintenance may be a good idea...it will give you some leverage to get what you want in terms of number of individuals in the house, quality of staff (maybe) etc...for those who cannot afford it, these are VERY challenging and disturbing times in which to try to create positive, quality living arrangements for our beloved children. The one thing that people with limited resources might be able to do, is to volunteer, be on boards and committees of local agencies that do the best job of providing housing supports and services in your area...Kind of like donation " in kind " ...though everyone should be treated equally in the system, the fact is, especially in times of very limited resources, those who give more, get more... Ellen **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-Volkswagen-Jetta-2009/expert-review?ncid=aolaut000300\ 00000007 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2008 Report Share Posted August 17, 2008 Since we are not quite there yet, I too would love to hear more about group homes. Nora, I agree completely about shared rooms, but then don't get me started about 7-8 people living in one house, to begin with!!! There had been some legislation on the table about group homes being limited in size (no more than 4 people) with everyone having their own bedrooms, but it didn't get passed. The problem in legislating this is that then every agency will go out and purchase homes for 4 people, when indeed, some individuals (especially those with autism) do much better with only 1 or two roommates and some may really need to be alone with a support person...so, sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for... That said, shared bedrooms, 3 or 4 people to a bathroom...these are not acceptable living conditions, in my opinion. Funding being what it is, I get the fact that there is no money to do better...for families who can afford it, shared cost vis a vis, families purchasing a house or condo and providing funds for much of the upkeep and maintenance may be a good idea...it will give you some leverage to get what you want in terms of number of individuals in the house, quality of staff (maybe) etc...for those who cannot afford it, these are VERY challenging and disturbing times in which to try to create positive, quality living arrangements for our beloved children. The one thing that people with limited resources might be able to do, is to volunteer, be on boards and committees of local agencies that do the best job of providing housing supports and services in your area...Kind of like donation " in kind " ...though everyone should be treated equally in the system, the fact is, especially in times of very limited resources, those who give more, get more... Ellen Ellen Garber Bronfeld egskb@... about group homes I think I asked this question before but am going to post on a popular blog about housing issues and need more info. I am looking for info on group homes in IL. Two of my three brothers live in group homes. I like one way better than the other but I have some issues with both of them. First, I don't think grown men should have to share a room and second I don't think group homes should close on the holidays. I understand alot of this is due to funding. My older brother lives on his own in section 8 housing. My other brothers are not quite able to live on their own. I am looking to hear about people's experiences with group homes in general and specifically about group homes in IL. Thanks Nora **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-Volkswagen-Jetta-2009/expert-review?ncid=aolaut000300\ 00000007 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2008 Report Share Posted August 17, 2008 You have and thanks. I don't do much compared to my sister Margaret. She does all the hard stuff, I do advocacy and what I can to support her as the guardian for 2 of the 3 and rep payee for my older brother. She is the one who deserves the credit and I am one that often gets it. Reminds me of the song " The Wind Beneath my Wings. " Nora In a message dated 8/17/2008 8:29:50 PM Central Daylight Time, egskb@... writes: I think I have said this before...your brothers are so lucky to have you and your sister...I hope that you are able to get what they need. Ellen Ellen Garber Bronfeld **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-Volkswagen-Jetta-2009/expert-review?ncid=aolaut000300\ 00000007 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2008 Report Share Posted August 17, 2008 I think I have said this before...your brothers are so lucky to have you and your sister...I hope that you are able to get what they need. Ellen Ellen Garber Bronfeld egskb@... Re: about group homes Ellen I have posted on a few lists and if I get anything interesting I will pass it on. My sister and I do volunteer and fundraise for the agency that my brothers get their services from. My brother 's home is for men with both a mental illness and a developmental disability. There are 5 men living there and only one of them has his own room. This really upsets me as they need their privacy more than anyone. If one of them is having a crisis then the other one gets no sleep. Sleep is so crucial to keeping people with mental illness out of crisis. My brother Pat's home is much nicer but we pay more out of pocket for it (they are not currently Medicaid eligible due to lack of future planning - long story). We hoping to move Pat and Mike in together. We had been told that they could not live together and we thought had to be in a dual diagnosis home but we have learned that both of those are not true. moved out of my sisters home on an emergency basis when his mental illness made it impossible for my sister to care for him. We kind of had to take what we could get at the time. It was very hard to move him there and we shed many tears. We are working on both improving his home and moving him to a better place. Thanks Ellen. Nora In a message dated 8/17/2008 2:33:44 PM Central Daylight Time, egskb@... writes: Since we are not quite there yet, I too would love to hear more about group homes. Nora, I agree completely about shared rooms, but then don't get me started about 7-8 people living in one house, to begin with!!! There had been some legislation on the table about group homes being limited in size (no more than 4 people) with everyone having their own bedrooms, but it didn't get passed. The problem in legislating this is that then every agency will go out and purchase homes for 4 people, when indeed, some individuals (especially those with autism) do much better with only 1 or two roommates and some may really need to be alone with a support person...so, sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for... That said, shared bedrooms, 3 or 4 people to a bathroom...these are not acceptable living conditions, in my opinion. Funding being what it is, I get the fact that there is no money to do better...for families who can afford it, shared cost vis a vis, families purchasing a house or condo and providing funds for much of the upkeep and maintenance may be a good idea...it will give you some leverage to get what you want in terms of number of individuals in the house, quality of staff (maybe) etc...for those who cannot afford it, these are VERY challenging and disturbing times in which to try to create positive, quality living arrangements for our beloved children. The one thing that people with limited resources might be able to do, is to volunteer, be on boards and committees of local agencies that do the best job of providing housing supports and services in your area...Kind of like donation " in kind " ...though everyone should be treated equally in the system, the fact is, especially in times of very limited resources, those who give more, get more... Ellen **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-Volkswagen-Jetta-2009/expert-review?ncid=aolaut000300\ 00000007 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2008 Report Share Posted August 17, 2008 You can say whatever you want, and pass the kudos to the other sister, but you women are the type of people most of us hope our children grow up to be. We had always told our other sons they would be in charge of Adam when we no longer can. We were never afraid to concern ourselves with " burdening " them. It is life, and we all have to look after one another. So we hope. Your family gives me hopethat siblings will do the best they can. You are great advocates for your brothers, but you also do a lot of good work for the greater good with sibling workshops etc. thank you for that . Cindi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2008 Report Share Posted August 17, 2008 I am guessing that you lift each other up...The sibling responsibilities when parents are no longer able to care for a child or children with disabilities is something we might want to explore on IPADDU... My older son, who used to be so caring and loving toward his brother, is now pretty dismissive, not mean but just not at all interested in him. He claims he does not want to take responsibility for him in the future. It has left me feeling sad, scared, confused...I am hoping this is just a phase as he attempts to figure out what he wants to do with his life. I am trying to say little so as not to put pressure on him, just now. I am also eating healthy and working out...knowing I had better prolong my life as long as I can! Ellen Ellen Garber Bronfeld egskb@... Re: about group homes You have and thanks. I don't do much compared to my sister Margaret. She does all the hard stuff, I do advocacy and what I can to support her as the guardian for 2 of the 3 and rep payee for my older brother. She is the one who deserves the credit and I am one that often gets it. Reminds me of the song " The Wind Beneath my Wings. " Nora In a message dated 8/17/2008 8:29:50 PM Central Daylight Time, egskb@... writes: I think I have said this before...your brothers are so lucky to have you and your sister...I hope that you are able to get what they need. Ellen Ellen Garber Bronfeld **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-Volkswagen-Jetta-2009/expert-review?ncid=aolaut000300\ 00000007 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2008 Report Share Posted August 17, 2008 God bless you Ellen....your words do make a difference. On Aug 17, 2008, at 9:40 PM, Ellen Bronfeld wrote: > I am guessing that you lift each other up...The sibling > responsibilities when parents are no longer able to care for a child > or children with disabilities is something we might want to explore > on IPADDU... > My older son, who used to be so caring and loving toward his > brother, is now pretty dismissive, not mean but just not at all > interested in him. He claims he does not want to take responsibility > for him in the future. > It has left me feeling sad, scared, confused...I am hoping this is > just a phase as he attempts to figure out what he wants to do with > his life. I am trying to say little so as not to put pressure on > him, just now. I am also eating healthy and working out...knowing I > had better prolong my life as long as I can! > Ellen > Ellen Garber Bronfeld > egskb@... > Re: about group homes > > You have and thanks. I don't do much compared to my sister Margaret. > She > does all the hard stuff, I do advocacy and what I can to support her > as the > guardian for 2 of the 3 and rep payee for my older brother. She is > the one who > deserves the credit and I am one that often gets it. Reminds me of > the song > " The Wind Beneath my Wings. " Nora > > In a message dated 8/17/2008 8:29:50 PM Central Daylight Time, > egskb@... writes: > > I think I have said this before...your brothers are so lucky to have > you and > your sister...I hope that you are able to get what they need. > Ellen > Ellen Garber Bronfeld > > **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your > budget? > Read reviews on AOL Autos. > (http://autos.aol.com/cars-Volkswagen-Jetta-2009/expert-review?ncid=aolaut000300\ 00000007 > ) > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2008 Report Share Posted August 18, 2008 Thanks Cindi, the biggest challenge with the sibling stuff is to get them involved before their parents need help or they need to take over. How old are your sons? Maybe they would like to join our sib group. Here is our website. _www.sibsnetwork.org_ (http://www.sibsnetwork.org) Nora In a message dated 8/17/2008 9:36:05 PM Central Daylight Time, cbswanson@... writes: You can say whatever you want, and pass the kudos to the other sister, but you women are the type of people most of us hope our children grow up to be. We had always told our other sons they would be in charge of Adam when we no longer can. We were never afraid to concern ourselves with " burdening " them. It is life, and we all have to look after one another. So we hope. Your family gives me hopethat siblings will do the best they can. You are great advocates for your brothers, but you also do a lot of good work for the greater good with sibling workshops etc. thank you for that . Cindi **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-Volkswagen-Jetta-2009/expert-review?ncid=aolaut000300\ 00000007 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2008 Report Share Posted August 18, 2008 We have three other sisters who do very little with our brothers and it frustrates us big time. I know that when there are only 2 sibs sometimes it is a bigger issue. Hopefully it is an age thing with your older son and he will get over it. We do meet a few sibs with a huge amount of resentment. Our concern now is that we are all aging. My younger brothers are 10 years younger than me and 14 years younger than Margaret. What if they out live us. We never thought that we might need our kids to care for our brothers but that possibilty exists. If we just had a better system it would not be such an issue would it? Anyway thanks for your comments and good luck. I to am working on my diet and exercise. Nora In a message dated 8/17/2008 9:40:48 PM Central Daylight Time, egskb@... writes: I am guessing that you lift each other up...The sibling responsibilities when parents are no longer able to care for a child or children with disabilities is something we might want to explore on IPADDU... My older son, who used to be so caring and loving toward his brother, is now pretty dismissive, not mean but just not at all interested in him. He claims he does not want to take responsibility for him in the future. It has left me feeling sad, scared, confused...I am hoping this is just a phase as he attempts to figure out what he wants to do with his life. I am trying to say little so as not to put pressure on him, just now. I am also eating healthy and working out...knowing I had better prolong my life as long as I can! Ellen **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-Volkswagen-Jetta-2009/expert-review?ncid=aolaut000300\ 00000007 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2008 Report Share Posted August 18, 2008 And even if we are NOT bearing the responsibility for our sibs, we somehow still are. My brother lives in a retirement home, a setting that seems satisfactory for everyone involved -- except for when he needs medical intervention. Currently he is in the hospital with three broken ribs resulting from a fall. Although I do not have major responsibility for him (an attorney manages the trust and my brother's normal expenses), I have had to assume the job of nagging people to do what they are supposed to do. This morning I must call the maintenance staff of the retirement home to have my brother's lift chair evaluated; it is broken, and I need to either have it fixed or replaced. If it should be replaced, I have to track down the doctor and nag him to write a prescription for it. Otherwise the attorney will delay, thinking that it is not REALLY essential. It is. I appreciate the attorney's financial conservatism, but sometimes I have to intervene. He is absolutely ethical and careful of expenses, but there are things he just doesn't understand. (And then other things, he understands amazingly well. He erred when postponed replacing my brother's TV set, but he makes sure to buy season passes to football games -- a serious quality of life matter.) I also have to make sure that the doctor monitors my brother's meds when he goes to the rehab center after being released from the hospital. A year ago, when he broke his shoulder the rehab folks took it upon themselves to DC his meds -- and then they blamed HIM for hitting one of them. My only complaint is that he didn't hit whoever DCed the meds. Enoguh of this. I have serious nagging to do. Jean On Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 6:50 AM, <Yoda84@...> wrote: > > We have three other sisters who do very little with our brothers and it > frustrates us big time. I know that when there are only 2 sibs sometimes it > is a > bigger issue. Hopefully it is an age thing with your older son and he will > get > over it. We do meet a few sibs with a huge amount of resentment. > > Our concern now is that we are all aging. My younger brothers are 10 years > younger than me and 14 years younger than Margaret. What if they out live > us. > We never thought that we might need our kids to care for our brothers but > that possibilty exists. If we just had a better system it would not be such > an > issue would it? Anyway thanks for your comments and good luck. I to am > working > on my diet and exercise. Nora > > In a message dated 8/17/2008 9:40:48 PM Central Daylight Time, > egskb@... <egskb%40sbcglobal.net> writes: > > I am guessing that you lift each other up...The sibling responsibilities > when > parents are no longer able to care for a child or children with > disabilities > is something we might want to explore on IPADDU... > My older son, who used to be so caring and loving toward his brother, is > now > pretty dismissive, not mean but just not at all interested in him. He > claims > he does not want to take responsibility for him in the future. > It has left me feeling sad, scared, confused...I am hoping this is just a > phase as he attempts to figure out what he wants to do with his life. I am > trying > to say little so as not to put pressure on him, just now. I am also eating > healthy and working out...knowing I had better prolong my life as long as I > can! > Ellen > > **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? > > Read reviews on AOL Autos. > ( > http://autos.aol.com/cars-Volkswagen-Jetta-2009/expert-review?ncid=aolaut0003000\ 0000007) > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2008 Report Share Posted August 18, 2008 Nora, As part of high school transitioning, I have been touring group homes (it currently is not needed). It's the 'norm' that 'adults' share a room (which is what I hate). The government doesn't force other individuals that require housing to 'share a room' (except convicted felons, but our loved ones are not convicted felons), so why should those with disabilities be 'forced'. Yoda84@... wrote: I think I asked this question before but am going to post on a popular blog about housing issues and need more info. I am looking for info on group homes in IL. Two of my three brothers live in group homes. I like one way better than the other but I have some issues with both of them. First, I don't think grown men should have to share a room and second I don't think group homes should close on the holidays. I understand alot of this is due to funding. My older brother lives on his own in section 8 housing. My other brothers are not quite able to live on their own. I am looking to hear about people's experiences with group homes in general and specifically about group homes in IL. Thanks Nora **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-Volkswagen-Jetta-2009/expert-review?ncid=aolaut000300\ 00000007 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2008 Report Share Posted August 18, 2008 Thanks, Nora. Ellen Ellen Garber Bronfeld egskb@... Re: about group homes We have three other sisters who do very little with our brothers and it frustrates us big time. I know that when there are only 2 sibs sometimes it is a bigger issue. Hopefully it is an age thing with your older son and he will get over it. We do meet a few sibs with a huge amount of resentment. Our concern now is that we are all aging. My younger brothers are 10 years younger than me and 14 years younger than Margaret. What if they out live us. We never thought that we might need our kids to care for our brothers but that possibilty exists. If we just had a better system it would not be such an issue would it? Anyway thanks for your comments and good luck. I to am working on my diet and exercise. Nora In a message dated 8/17/2008 9:40:48 PM Central Daylight Time, egskb@... writes: I am guessing that you lift each other up...The sibling responsibilities when parents are no longer able to care for a child or children with disabilities is something we might want to explore on IPADDU... My older son, who used to be so caring and loving toward his brother, is now pretty dismissive, not mean but just not at all interested in him. He claims he does not want to take responsibility for him in the future. It has left me feeling sad, scared, confused...I am hoping this is just a phase as he attempts to figure out what he wants to do with his life. I am trying to say little so as not to put pressure on him, just now. I am also eating healthy and working out...knowing I had better prolong my life as long as I can! Ellen **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-Volkswagen-Jetta-2009/expert-review?ncid=aolaut000300\ 00000007 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2008 Report Share Posted August 18, 2008 As a service provider, I am going to confirm what you all expected--it's all about funding. No one in our home shares a bedroom (although, since staff live in, we do have only 2 bathrooms for 7 people.) We want our residents to do activities, participate in their community, travel and learn new skills where possible. All these things require money and with a little exception, fall outside the state's budgeting calculations. These things also require good, dedicated staff and paying them a decent wage also (it seems) falls outside the state's budgeting calculations. We try to fundraise, but we are competing against a lot of other excellent causes. It has been suggested to us that we double up in bedrooms to gain more funding (funding is on a per/person basis). We won't but you can see why some agencies might... Really, the only way we can continue to do what we so is that we are a faith community, so we are able to get good assistants (staff) despite the fact that we cannot pay them well. They come to be a part of the community. Also, we are extremely fortunate to have a dedicated network of volunteers and friends and faithful small donors. Even so, money is a constant concern... Ellen Bronfeld <egskb@...> wrote: Thanks, Nora. Ellen Ellen Garber Bronfeld egskb@... Re: about group homes We have three other sisters who do very little with our brothers and it frustrates us big time. I know that when there are only 2 sibs sometimes it is a bigger issue. Hopefully it is an age thing with your older son and he will get over it. We do meet a few sibs with a huge amount of resentment. Our concern now is that we are all aging. My younger brothers are 10 years younger than me and 14 years younger than Margaret. What if they out live us. We never thought that we might need our kids to care for our brothers but that possibilty exists. If we just had a better system it would not be such an issue would it? Anyway thanks for your comments and good luck. I to am working on my diet and exercise. Nora In a message dated 8/17/2008 9:40:48 PM Central Daylight Time, egskb@... writes: I am guessing that you lift each other up...The sibling responsibilities when parents are no longer able to care for a child or children with disabilities is something we might want to explore on IPADDU... My older son, who used to be so caring and loving toward his brother, is now pretty dismissive, not mean but just not at all interested in him. He claims he does not want to take responsibility for him in the future. It has left me feeling sad, scared, confused...I am hoping this is just a phase as he attempts to figure out what he wants to do with his life. I am trying to say little so as not to put pressure on him, just now. I am also eating healthy and working out...knowing I had better prolong my life as long as I can! Ellen **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-Volkswagen-Jetta-2009/expert-review?ncid=aolaut000300\ 00000007 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2008 Report Share Posted August 18, 2008 Thank you for the response. It sounds like L'Arche is a " cut above " and I for one, thank you for your extra special efforts to assist people with disabilities to live the lives they want and deserve in their own communities...It appears that some of the smaller agencies have been able to provide more individualized supports and services in the community. I know of a few others, Neighborhood Services, Active Visions, Community Living Options/Center for Independent Futures and Resources for Community Living. Ellen Ellen Garber Bronfeld egskb@... Re: about group homes We have three other sisters who do very little with our brothers and it frustrates us big time. I know that when there are only 2 sibs sometimes it is a bigger issue. Hopefully it is an age thing with your older son and he will get over it. We do meet a few sibs with a huge amount of resentment. Our concern now is that we are all aging. My younger brothers are 10 years younger than me and 14 years younger than Margaret. What if they out live us. We never thought that we might need our kids to care for our brothers but that possibilty exists. If we just had a better system it would not be such an issue would it? Anyway thanks for your comments and good luck. I to am working on my diet and exercise. Nora In a message dated 8/17/2008 9:40:48 PM Central Daylight Time, egskb@... writes: I am guessing that you lift each other up...The sibling responsibilities when parents are no longer able to care for a child or children with disabilities is something we might want to explore on IPADDU... My older son, who used to be so caring and loving toward his brother, is now pretty dismissive, not mean but just not at all interested in him. He claims he does not want to take responsibility for him in the future. It has left me feeling sad, scared, confused...I am hoping this is just a phase as he attempts to figure out what he wants to do with his life. I am trying to say little so as not to put pressure on him, just now. I am also eating healthy and working out...knowing I had better prolong my life as long as I can! Ellen **************Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos.aol.com/cars-Volkswagen-Jetta-2009/expert-review?ncid=aolaut000300\ 00000007 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2008 Report Share Posted August 18, 2008 I'm about to make myself unpopular. Considering that in IL we have 7,000 adults with DD in crisis/emergency need of housing and services, and a shortage of housing options, I expect that we will soon hear from state officials that we should not be " picky " about housing arrangements for folks in need. If I had to draw the line, it would be over how many people in a housing unit and the number of folks per bathroom, rather than sharing bedrooms. I suspect that state officials, and the public at large, are likely to view 1-2 people in a house, with anything more than part-time staff as being extravagant, and overkill. Yes, I know that some folks with DD need a small setting and more staff, but I really doubt that you will ever get the typical person to see it that way...unless they move in for a week. Perhaps my imagination is too vivid, but I can imagine comments such as " I shared a room growing up. I lived in a house with 4 others and one bathroom. "  Etc., etc., etc. I'm concerned that if advocates push for 1 person per bedroom, that we'll have bigger waiting lists while all that housing gets bought and staffed, and THAT is assuming that there is money to do it, a huge assumption. I wonder if we aren't going to see housing obtained for the share-a-room folks first, because that gets more folks off the waiting list and makes the officials look good. -Gail From: Ellen Bronfeld <egskb@...> Subject: Re: about group homes IPADDUnite Date: Sunday, August 17, 2008, 2:33 PM Since we are not quite there yet, I too would love to hear more about group homes. Nora, I agree completely about shared rooms, but then don't get me started about 7-8 people living in one house, to begin with!!! There had been some legislation on the table about group homes being limited in size (no more than 4 people) with everyone having their own bedrooms, but it didn't get passed. The problem in legislating this is that then every agency will go out and purchase homes for 4 people, when indeed, some individuals (especially those with autism) do much better with only 1 or two roommates and some may really need to be alone with a support person...so, sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for... That said, shared bedrooms, 3 or 4 people to a bathroom...these are not acceptable living conditions, in my opinion. Funding being what it is, I get the fact that there is no money to do better...for families who can afford it, shared cost vis a vis, families purchasing a house or condo and providing funds for much of the upkeep and maintenance may be a good idea...it will give you some leverage to get what you want in terms of number of individuals in the house, quality of staff (maybe) etc...for those who cannot afford it, these are VERY challenging and disturbing times in which to try to create positive, quality living arrangements for our beloved children. The one thing that people with limited resources might be able to do, is to volunteer, be on boards and committees of local agencies that do the best job of providing housing supports and services in your area...Kind of like donation " in kind " ...though everyone should be treated equally in the system, the fact is, especially in times of very limited resources, those who give more, get more... Ellen Ellen Garber Bronfeld egskbsbcglobal (DOT) net about group homes I think I asked this question before but am going to post on a popular blog about housing issues and need more info. I am looking for info on group homes in IL. Two of my three brothers live in group homes. I like one way better than the other but I have some issues with both of them. First, I don't think grown men should have to share a room and second I don't think group homes should close on the holidays. I understand alot of this is due to funding.. My older brother lives on his own in section 8 housing. My other brothers are not quite able to live on their own. I am looking to hear about people's experiences with group homes in general and specifically about group homes in IL. Thanks Nora ************ **Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos. aol.com/cars- Volkswagen- Jetta-2009/ expert-review? ncid=aolaut00030 000000007 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2008 Report Share Posted August 18, 2008 Gail, I don't think you are making yourself 'unpopular'. I, like many here, tire of the fact that our loved ones, because they have disabilities and really do not vote, get treated like second class citizens. To save money, our state does not force families receiving aid and foodstamps, to share a residence with another family on assistance, nor are they forced to take in people, yet they still get assistance and still live in their own residence. When I was touring the group homes, like other parents, I asked many questions. It bothered me that if my daughter entered one at age 21, she could have a 65 year old room mate! There is a world of difference between these two individuals. Plus the families don't have a choice in room mates. It would be nice, for those who could afford it, to obtain a private room for their child. I'd gladly pay for this. I know those who can't afford it wouldn't have that option, but it's a starting point and I choice I'd like to have. I would not support legislation that required this, because, like you mentioned, the state has a long wait list. G Mrozak <mrsovaltine@...> wrote: I'm about to make myself unpopular. Considering that in IL we have 7,000 adults with DD in crisis/emergency need of housing and services, and a shortage of housing options, I expect that we will soon hear from state officials that we should not be " picky " about housing arrangements for folks in need. If I had to draw the line, it would be over how many people in a housing unit and the number of folks per bathroom, rather than sharing bedrooms. I suspect that state officials, and the public at large, are likely to view 1-2 people in a house, with anything more than part-time staff as being extravagant, and overkill. Yes, I know that some folks with DD need a small setting and more staff, but I really doubt that you will ever get the typical person to see it that way...unless they move in for a week. Perhaps my imagination is too vivid, but I can imagine comments such as " I shared a room growing up. I lived in a house with 4 others and one bathroom. " Etc., etc., etc. I'm concerned that if advocates push for 1 person per bedroom, that we'll have bigger waiting lists while all that housing gets bought and staffed, and THAT is assuming that there is money to do it, a huge assumption. I wonder if we aren't going to see housing obtained for the share-a-room folks first, because that gets more folks off the waiting list and makes the officials look good. -Gail From: Ellen Bronfeld <egskb@...> Subject: Re: about group homes IPADDUnite Date: Sunday, August 17, 2008, 2:33 PM Since we are not quite there yet, I too would love to hear more about group homes. Nora, I agree completely about shared rooms, but then don't get me started about 7-8 people living in one house, to begin with!!! There had been some legislation on the table about group homes being limited in size (no more than 4 people) with everyone having their own bedrooms, but it didn't get passed. The problem in legislating this is that then every agency will go out and purchase homes for 4 people, when indeed, some individuals (especially those with autism) do much better with only 1 or two roommates and some may really need to be alone with a support person...so, sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for... That said, shared bedrooms, 3 or 4 people to a bathroom...these are not acceptable living conditions, in my opinion. Funding being what it is, I get the fact that there is no money to do better...for families who can afford it, shared cost vis a vis, families purchasing a house or condo and providing funds for much of the upkeep and maintenance may be a good idea...it will give you some leverage to get what you want in terms of number of individuals in the house, quality of staff (maybe) etc...for those who cannot afford it, these are VERY challenging and disturbing times in which to try to create positive, quality living arrangements for our beloved children. The one thing that people with limited resources might be able to do, is to volunteer, be on boards and committees of local agencies that do the best job of providing housing supports and services in your area...Kind of like donation " in kind " ...though everyone should be treated equally in the system, the fact is, especially in times of very limited resources, those who give more, get more... Ellen Ellen Garber Bronfeld egskbsbcglobal (DOT) net about group homes I think I asked this question before but am going to post on a popular blog about housing issues and need more info. I am looking for info on group homes in IL. Two of my three brothers live in group homes. I like one way better than the other but I have some issues with both of them. First, I don't think grown men should have to share a room and second I don't think group homes should close on the holidays. I understand alot of this is due to funding.. My older brother lives on his own in section 8 housing. My other brothers are not quite able to live on their own. I am looking to hear about people's experiences with group homes in general and specifically about group homes in IL. Thanks Nora ************ **Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos. aol.com/cars- Volkswagen- Jetta-2009/ expert-review? ncid=aolaut00030 000000007 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2008 Report Share Posted August 18, 2008 What about micro-boards and having our loved ones in their own homes? I am just beginning to learn about micro-boards and their funding. It looks like an ideal situation for some people, and a way of helping to shorten the wait-list for those for whom a micro-board is not going to be appropriate. Jean On Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 8:22 AM, Finato <cmfinato@...>wrote: > Gail, I don't think you are making yourself 'unpopular'. I, like many > here, tire of the fact that our loved ones, because they have disabilities > and really do not vote, get treated like second class citizens. > > To save money, our state does not force families receiving aid and > foodstamps, to share a residence with another family on assistance, nor are > they forced to take in people, yet they still get assistance and still live > in their own residence. > > When I was touring the group homes, like other parents, I asked many > questions. It bothered me that if my daughter entered one at age 21, she > could have a 65 year old room mate! There is a world of difference between > these two individuals. Plus the families don't have a choice in room mates. > > It would be nice, for those who could afford it, to obtain a private room > for their child. I'd gladly pay for this. I know those who can't afford it > wouldn't have that option, but it's a starting point and I choice I'd like > to have. > > I would not support legislation that required this, because, like you > mentioned, the state has a long wait list. > > G Mrozak <mrsovaltine@... <mrsovaltine%40>> wrote: I'm > about to make myself unpopular. > > > Considering that in IL we have 7,000 adults with DD in crisis/emergency > need of housing and services, and a shortage of housing options, I expect > that we will soon hear from state officials that we should not be " picky " > about housing arrangements for folks in need. > > If I had to draw the line, it would be over how many people in a housing > unit and the number of folks per bathroom, rather than sharing bedrooms. > > I suspect that state officials, and the public at large, are likely to view > 1-2 people in a house, with anything more than part-time staff as being > extravagant, and overkill. Yes, I know that some folks with DD need a small > setting and more staff, but I really doubt that you will ever get the > typical person to see it that way...unless they move in for a week. Perhaps > my imagination is too vivid, but I can imagine comments such as " I shared a > room growing up. I lived in a house with 4 others and one bathroom. " Etc., > etc., etc. > > I'm concerned that if advocates push for 1 person per bedroom, that we'll > have bigger waiting lists while all that housing gets bought and staffed, > and THAT is assuming that there is money to do it, a huge assumption. > > I wonder if we aren't going to see housing obtained for the share-a-room > folks first, because that gets more folks off the waiting list and makes the > officials look good. > > -Gail > > > > From: Ellen Bronfeld <egskb@... <egskb%40sbcglobal.net>> > Subject: Re: about group homes > IPADDUnite <IPADDUnite%40> > Date: Sunday, August 17, 2008, 2:33 PM > > Since we are not quite there yet, I too would love to hear more about group > homes. > > Nora, I agree completely about shared rooms, but then don't get me started > about 7-8 people living in one house, to begin with!!! > > There had been some legislation on the table about group homes being > limited in size (no more than 4 people) with everyone having their own > bedrooms, but it didn't get passed. > > The problem in legislating this is that then every agency will go out and > purchase homes for 4 people, when indeed, some individuals (especially those > with autism) do much better with only 1 or two roommates and some may really > need to be alone with a support person...so, sometimes you have to be > careful what you wish for... > > That said, shared bedrooms, 3 or 4 people to a bathroom...these are not > acceptable living conditions, in my opinion. > > Funding being what it is, I get the fact that there is no money to do > better...for families who can afford it, shared cost vis a vis, families > purchasing a house or condo and providing funds for much of the upkeep and > maintenance may be a good idea...it will give you some leverage to get what > you want in terms of number of individuals in the house, quality of staff > (maybe) etc...for those who cannot afford it, these are VERY challenging and > disturbing times in which to try to create positive, quality living > arrangements for our beloved children. The one thing that people with > limited resources might be able to do, is to volunteer, be on boards and > committees of local agencies that do the best job of providing housing > supports and services in your area...Kind of like donation " in > kind " ...though everyone should be treated equally in the system, the fact > is, especially in times of very limited resources, those who give more, get > more... > > Ellen > > Ellen Garber Bronfeld > > egskbsbcglobal (DOT) net > > about group homes > > I think I asked this question before but am going to post on a popular blog > > > about housing issues and need more info. I am looking for info on group > homes > > in IL. Two of my three brothers live in group homes. I like one way better > > than the other but I have some issues with both of them. First, I don't > think > > grown men should have to share a room and second I don't think group homes > > should close on the holidays. I understand alot of this is due to funding.. > My > > older brother lives on his own in section 8 housing. My other brothers are > not > > quite able to live on their own. I am looking to hear about people's > > experiences with group homes in general and specifically about group homes > in IL. > > Thanks Nora > > ************ **Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your > budget? > > Read reviews on AOL Autos. > > (http://autos. aol.com/cars- Volkswagen- Jetta-2009/ expert-review? > ncid=aolaut00030 000000007 ) > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2008 Report Share Posted August 18, 2008 Hi IPADD is in 'talks' with the microboard trainers to come online with us and share some info with IPADD members; we're waiting to hear back on some dates that will work for them as they are very busy! But we'll get there I'm sure, so stay tuned for more to come. Laurie about group homes > > I think I asked this question before but am going to post on a popular blog > > > about housing issues and need more info. I am looking for info on group > homes > > in IL. Two of my three brothers live in group homes. I like one way better > > than the other but I have some issues with both of them. First, I don't > think > > grown men should have to share a room and second I don't think group homes > > should close on the holidays. I understand alot of this is due to funding.. > My > > older brother lives on his own in section 8 housing. My other brothers are > not > > quite able to live on their own. I am looking to hear about people's > > experiences with group homes in general and specifically about group homes > in IL. > > Thanks Nora > > ************ **Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your > budget? > > Read reviews on AOL Autos. > > (http://autos. aol.com/cars- Volkswagen- Jetta-2009/ expert-review? > ncid=aolaut00030 000000007 ) > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2008 Report Share Posted August 18, 2008 I think that it should be a choice. Some men and women want their own room and some may not. I believe that everyone needs some time and space to their selves. My son is 27 with DS and has his own room and sometimes wants to close the door and sing, or play a game, take a nap, whatever and he can. We just got Home Based Services and I think that is Illinois way of saying keep them at home, here is some money. I do not have a problem with that but what happens when his parents are gone? I know we have talked about this before. But it is good to talk and share. Thank you, Shirley G Mrozak <mrsovaltine@...> wrote: I'm about to make myself unpopular. Considering that in IL we have 7,000 adults with DD in crisis/emergency need of housing and services, and a shortage of housing options, I expect that we will soon hear from state officials that we should not be " picky " about housing arrangements for folks in need. If I had to draw the line, it would be over how many people in a housing unit and the number of folks per bathroom, rather than sharing bedrooms. I suspect that state officials, and the public at large, are likely to view 1-2 people in a house, with anything more than part-time staff as being extravagant, and overkill. Yes, I know that some folks with DD need a small setting and more staff, but I really doubt that you will ever get the typical person to see it that way...unless they move in for a week. Perhaps my imagination is too vivid, but I can imagine comments such as " I shared a room growing up. I lived in a house with 4 others and one bathroom. " Etc., etc., etc. I'm concerned that if advocates push for 1 person per bedroom, that we'll have bigger waiting lists while all that housing gets bought and staffed, and THAT is assuming that there is money to do it, a huge assumption. I wonder if we aren't going to see housing obtained for the share-a-room folks first, because that gets more folks off the waiting list and makes the officials look good. -Gail From: Ellen Bronfeld <egskb@...> Subject: Re: about group homes IPADDUnite Date: Sunday, August 17, 2008, 2:33 PM Since we are not quite there yet, I too would love to hear more about group homes. Nora, I agree completely about shared rooms, but then don't get me started about 7-8 people living in one house, to begin with!!! There had been some legislation on the table about group homes being limited in size (no more than 4 people) with everyone having their own bedrooms, but it didn't get passed. The problem in legislating this is that then every agency will go out and purchase homes for 4 people, when indeed, some individuals (especially those with autism) do much better with only 1 or two roommates and some may really need to be alone with a support person...so, sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for... That said, shared bedrooms, 3 or 4 people to a bathroom...these are not acceptable living conditions, in my opinion. Funding being what it is, I get the fact that there is no money to do better...for families who can afford it, shared cost vis a vis, families purchasing a house or condo and providing funds for much of the upkeep and maintenance may be a good idea...it will give you some leverage to get what you want in terms of number of individuals in the house, quality of staff (maybe) etc...for those who cannot afford it, these are VERY challenging and disturbing times in which to try to create positive, quality living arrangements for our beloved children. The one thing that people with limited resources might be able to do, is to volunteer, be on boards and committees of local agencies that do the best job of providing housing supports and services in your area...Kind of like donation " in kind " ...though everyone should be treated equally in the system, the fact is, especially in times of very limited resources, those who give more, get more... Ellen Ellen Garber Bronfeld egskbsbcglobal (DOT) net about group homes I think I asked this question before but am going to post on a popular blog about housing issues and need more info. I am looking for info on group homes in IL. Two of my three brothers live in group homes. I like one way better than the other but I have some issues with both of them. First, I don't think grown men should have to share a room and second I don't think group homes should close on the holidays. I understand alot of this is due to funding.. My older brother lives on his own in section 8 housing. My other brothers are not quite able to live on their own. I am looking to hear about people's experiences with group homes in general and specifically about group homes in IL. Thanks Nora ************ **Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos. aol.com/cars- Volkswagen- Jetta-2009/ expert-review? ncid=aolaut00030 000000007 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2008 Report Share Posted August 18, 2008 I would respectfully argue that every individual, with or without disabilities should have choices in where, with whom and how they live. I know we have limited resources in the world in general, but until our decision makers, aka legislators and the general public, see people with disabilities as human beings, until we shut down costly institutions that are sucking the community system dry, until we fund disabilities supports and services at least equal to what other states are doing, we will continue to see HOUSING FOR THE DISABLED aka " placements " , " beds " , " slots " , " sheets and eats " instead of houses, homes, apartments, condos, etc... I know we can do better in Illinois...we can assist more people to live the lives they want and deserve...the system is broken...it needs a massive overhaul... We should NOT sit back and accept what is given when we know it is just plain dehumanzing and wrong... Ellen Ellen Garber Bronfeld egskb@... about group homes I think I asked this question before but am going to post on a popular blog about housing issues and need more info. I am looking for info on group homes in IL. Two of my three brothers live in group homes. I like one way better than the other but I have some issues with both of them. First, I don't think grown men should have to share a room and second I don't think group homes should close on the holidays. I understand alot of this is due to funding.. My older brother lives on his own in section 8 housing. My other brothers are not quite able to live on their own. I am looking to hear about people's experiences with group homes in general and specifically about group homes in IL. Thanks Nora ************ **Looking for a car that's sporty, fun and fits in your budget? Read reviews on AOL Autos. (http://autos. aol.com/cars- Volkswagen- Jetta-2009/ expert-review? ncid=aolaut00030 000000007 ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2008 Report Share Posted August 19, 2008 How do you tour group homes? Do you just call agencies and ask if you can tour. I would love to do that although it would be challenging as I do not drive. How many have you been in. I have learned about some good alternatives to group homes and am working on learning more about them. Thanks Nora In a message dated 8/18/2008 8:00:01 AM Central Daylight Time, cmfinato@... writes: Nora, As part of high school transitioning, I have been touring group homes (it currently is not needed). It's the 'norm' that 'adults' share a room (which is what I hate). The government doesn't force other individuals that require housing to 'share a room' (except convicted felons, but our loved ones are not convicted felons), so why should those with disabilities be 'forced' **************It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here. (http://information.travel.aol.com/deals?ncid=aoltrv00050000000047) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2008 Report Share Posted August 19, 2008 Ok, thanks. Nora In a message dated 8/19/2008 7:47:55 AM Central Daylight Time, cmfinato@... writes: The tours I went on were set up by the Transition Coordinator at District 99. Basically, she would call the agency and set it up. Anyone interested would drive to the location, then we all drove independently to the group home (same with day programs). **************It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here. (http://information.travel.aol.com/deals?ncid=aoltrv00050000000047) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2008 Report Share Posted August 19, 2008 Ok, well maybe I can check some out in Chicago then. I am sure it would be informative. I have only been in a few and they were all Pioneer Center group homes. Nora In a message dated 8/19/2008 8:39:24 AM Central Daylight Time, egskb@... writes: Yes, Nora...it is as simple as just making a phone call and asking to talk to someone about housing and requesting to see an agency's group homes... I have never found an agency that said no... Ellen **************It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here. (http://information.travel.aol.com/deals?ncid=aoltrv00050000000047) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2008 Report Share Posted August 19, 2008 The tours I went on were set up by the Transition Coordinator at District 99. Basically, she would call the agency and set it up. Anyone interested would drive to the location, then we all drove independently to the group home (same with day programs). Yoda84@... wrote: How do you tour group homes? Do you just call agencies and ask if you can tour. I would love to do that although it would be challenging as I do not drive. How many have you been in. I have learned about some good alternatives to group homes and am working on learning more about them. Thanks Nora In a message dated 8/18/2008 8:00:01 AM Central Daylight Time, cmfinato@... writes: Nora, As part of high school transitioning, I have been touring group homes (it currently is not needed). It's the 'norm' that 'adults' share a room (which is what I hate). The government doesn't force other individuals that require housing to 'share a room' (except convicted felons, but our loved ones are not convicted felons), so why should those with disabilities be 'forced' **************It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here. (http://information.travel.aol.com/deals?ncid=aoltrv00050000000047) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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