Re: Suggestions from Seasoned Parents needed

[Guest guest]

Most everyone loves to eat...dinner clubs are usually popular and fun...the

group can " research " together and choose places or each person might want a turn

to pick a favorite place or somewhere with a favorite food...a group leader can

incorporate good eating habits/healthy nutrition...you can even incorporate a

walking club or some sort of exercise club apart from or together with a Dining

Club...

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeld

egskb@...

Suggestions from Seasoned Parents needed

Happy Pre-turkey day.

I have a 14year old female (you probably know that) with autism.

Moderate-?????

Someone just asked me for suggestions of what to do for

teenagers...meaning activities, etc...A group is applying for a

grant and the money has to be used on Materials, etc (no

administrative costs...its an all volunteer organization anyway).

I have read here where there are " book clubs " , however, my daughter

while she can read, is not verbal enough to express what she read,

nor " do we think " she has the ability/interest to read a book more

than things like " golden books..but boy she know's what they say " .

Does anyone have suggestions for Group type activities, education,

etc that a 13-21 year old should be involved in, or would have liked

to have had when their child was that age?

Feel free to e-mail offline if you want.

Suggestions/recommendations of what DIDN't work also are welcomed.

I'm at a real loss.

Thanks,

[Guest guest]

Our school district , Naperville 203 has CEC, Council for Exceptional

Citizens. It is a group of typical students and students with disabilities

are invited as active members. It is purely social, but the students with

dis. do what all the other kids do, they do it with their group. For r

example, all the members meet at a certain spot and go to the football game

together. They organize a Halloween , Christmas,winter holiday party. They

organized a semi formal dance in early spring, and many of the same dates

end up going to prom later that spring. Basically the kids with

disabilities like the same things the other students like, butwith the

support of the other students transition into the events always went like

finely tuned music. Naperville 204 has a Best Buddies group, which I think

operates in a similar manner. Some students may want to branch into other

school clubs and maybe the relationship built in a CEC or Best Buddies can

expand into the typical clubs, but with a buddy.

We were pretty lucky because our school system has pages of clubs ..drama,

art, where all students can join. It is after high school with all the

trimmings,when we had to start creating stuff.

Next Chapters Book Club designed at Ohio State University is designed for

the broad range of reading ability. Our readers are spending a long

time reading 'Holes " . It is taking a long time and our facilitators do a

nice job of coaching and coaxing our readers to read and converse. It is a

book club like everything else..well modified! When we first started our

readers were reading National Geographic for young readers and I think Time

for young readers. They were an in and out of a story pretty quickly.

They meet once a week at the and Noble,the social development

...meeting each other, chatting, picking out a beverage from the cafe and

settling down for the hour read is great. Out of fairness to our

facilitators we offer them a small stipend. That is our choice, not part of

the NCBC model.

About three years ago a parent initiated a Pizza and Movie night. there are

about six people involved, they meet every other Sat.alternating houses.

Our young adults know they have an event every other Sat. and the

investment is hosting the group once every 12 weeks. A movie is almost

always involved, but the young adults have played bingo, cards, we took them

once to a high school hockey game. Parents have done the gamet on this one

and again, low investment.

Good luck,have fun! Cindi

[Guest guest]

Having not had daughters, I'm limited to trying to remember my adolescence,

which is long, long ago...

Lots of NT girls this age like cruising the malls, to shop or just look at

what's for sale.  Going out to eat is popular.  I also like ideas involving

getting up and moving around, like bowling.

Maybe talk to some SRAs for ideas? 

-Gail 

From: <atterbren@...>

Subject: Suggestions from Seasoned Parents needed

IPADDUnite

Date: Wednesday, November 26, 2008, 1:20 PM

Happy Pre-turkey day.

I have a 14year old female (you probably know that) with autism.

Moderate-??? ??

Someone just asked me for suggestions of what to do for

teenagers... meaning activities, etc...A group is applying for a

grant and the money has to be used on Materials, etc (no

administrative costs...its an all volunteer organization anyway).

I have read here where there are " book clubs " , however, my daughter

while she can read, is not verbal enough to express what she read,

nor " do we think " she has the ability/interest to read a book more

than things like " golden books..but boy she know's what they say " .

Does anyone have suggestions for Group type activities, education,

etc that a 13-21 year old should be involved in, or would have liked

to have had when their child was that age?

Feel free to e-mail offline if you want.

Suggestions/ recommendations of what DIDN't work also are welcomed.

I'm at a real loss.

Thanks,

[Guest guest]

My son likes roller skating and ice skating, which are not always

offered by a SRA.

>

> Happy Pre-turkey day.

>

> I have a 14year old female (you probably know that) with autism.

> Moderate-?????

>

> Someone just asked me for suggestions of what to do for

> teenagers...meaning activities, etc...A group is applying for a

> grant and the money has to be used on Materials, etc (no

> administrative costs...its an all volunteer organization anyway).

>

> I have read here where there are " book clubs " , however, my daughter

> while she can read, is not verbal enough to express what she read,

> nor " do we think " she has the ability/interest to read a book more

> than things like " golden books..but boy she know's what they say " .

>

> Does anyone have suggestions for Group type activities, education,

> etc that a 13-21 year old should be involved in, or would have

liked

> to have had when their child was that age?

>

> Feel free to e-mail offline if you want.

> Suggestions/recommendations of what DIDN't work also are welcomed.

> I'm at a real loss.

>

> Thanks,

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ...it must be an autism thing...Noah always enjoyed both ice skating

and roller blading, though as he has gotten older, he is not passionate about

either any more...Noah is most passionate about walking and we have had great

success with a walking club in collaboration with some Northwestern students.

We have been through three different student groups (sad to say they graduate

and move on...) over the 3 1/2 years we have had Walking Club. If anyone ever

cares to drive to our area, we would welcome additional walkers. It is a once a

month event on Saturday afternoons.

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeld

egskb@...

Re: Suggestions from Seasoned Parents needed

My son likes roller skating and ice skating, which are not always

offered by a SRA.

>

> Happy Pre-turkey day.

>

> I have a 14year old female (you probably know that) with autism.

> Moderate-?????

>

> Someone just asked me for suggestions of what to do for

> teenagers...meaning activities, etc...A group is applying for a

> grant and the money has to be used on Materials, etc (no

> administrative costs...its an all volunteer organization anyway).

>

> I have read here where there are " book clubs " , however, my daughter

> while she can read, is not verbal enough to express what she read,

> nor " do we think " she has the ability/interest to read a book more

> than things like " golden books..but boy she know's what they say " .

>

> Does anyone have suggestions for Group type activities, education,

> etc that a 13-21 year old should be involved in, or would have

liked

> to have had when their child was that age?

>

> Feel free to e-mail offline if you want.

> Suggestions/recommendations of what DIDN't work also are welcomed.

> I'm at a real loss.

>

> Thanks,

>

[Guest guest]

I second Ellen's walking club idea, does hers at an indoor local mall in

the mornings. There are also runners clubs all over. Volunteering is another

activity that's very age-appropriate. I'd suggest focusing mostly on 'life

skills' or things they can do throughout their lifetimes, with a few of the

purely 'teenager' things thrown in for fun and experience.

Just my two cents.

Laurie

Re: Suggestions from Seasoned Parents needed

My son likes roller skating and ice skating, which are not always

offered by a SRA.

>

> Happy Pre-turkey day.

>

> I have a 14year old female (you probably know that) with autism.

> Moderate-?????

>

> Someone just asked me for suggestions of what to do for

> teenagers...meaning activities, etc...A group is applying for a

> grant and the money has to be used on Materials, etc (no

> administrative costs...its an all volunteer organization anyway).

>

> I have read here where there are " book clubs " , however, my daughter

> while she can read, is not verbal enough to express what she read,

> nor " do we think " she has the ability/interest to read a book more

> than things like " golden books..but boy she know's what they say " .

>

> Does anyone have suggestions for Group type activities, education,

> etc that a 13-21 year old should be involved in, or would have

liked

> to have had when their child was that age?

>

> Feel free to e-mail offline if you want.

> Suggestions/recommendations of what DIDN't work also are welcomed.

> I'm at a real loss.

>

> Thanks,

>

[Guest guest]

By the way, everyone...now that Thanksgiving 2008 has ended, and we have had our

fill of turkey, mashed potatoes and whatever else was on your tables this

evening, let's gear up for the BIG HOLIDAY SEASON!!!

Wald a sensitive, knowledgeable and experienced Social Worker will help us

all navigate the holiday season to make it fun and meaningful for our families.

She will be our Guest Expert starting Monday, December 8th.

Stay tuned!!!

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeld

egskb@...

Re: Suggestions from Seasoned Parents needed

My son likes roller skating and ice skating, which are not always

offered by a SRA.

>

> Happy Pre-turkey day.

>

> I have a 14year old female (you probably know that) with autism.

> Moderate-?????

>

> Someone just asked me for suggestions of what to do for

> teenagers...meaning activities, etc...A group is applying for a

> grant and the money has to be used on Materials, etc (no

> administrative costs...its an all volunteer organization anyway).

>

> I have read here where there are " book clubs " , however, my daughter

> while she can read, is not verbal enough to express what she read,

> nor " do we think " she has the ability/interest to read a book more

> than things like " golden books..but boy she know's what they say " .

>

> Does anyone have suggestions for Group type activities, education,

> etc that a 13-21 year old should be involved in, or would have

liked

> to have had when their child was that age?

>

> Feel free to e-mail offline if you want.

> Suggestions/recommendations of what DIDN't work also are welcomed.

> I'm at a real loss.

>

> Thanks,

>

[Guest guest]

This is thread near and dear to me -- as our kids age, the SRA

activities (for their age) can become too far from their abilities or

interests. Similarly abled peers can be hard to find. Schools can't

give any leads because of privacy concerns.

Ellen's NW-based group sounds like a good model and of course Best

Buddies gets good reviews. NW and De both have the latter as do

several high schools. But I don't know how you can nominate your own

kid for their services. They reach out through service groups to

find their clients.

I once got our SRA to start working on ideas for activity groups for

the narrower classification of autism, but nothing came of it. No

criticism here -- their budgets are stretched and the staff

frequently moves on. Our school pushes Special Olympics; they don't

seem to understand that for many of us that makes no sense when the

goal or main idea of the sport or competition is irrelevant or even

undesirable to our kids. Again, no criticism -- they realize that

the whole point for our kids is to develop and increase social

ability, or at least tolerance, and they're focused on that; it's

just that the general disability model doesn't work for our kids.

In our experience, the parallel play of pre-school was OK, and all

the way up to about 8-11 years we could modify rec' activities to

allow ours to participate more or less, but it was really more

parallel. Note Ellen's comment about skating (ditto here, including

the outgrowing phase), which I think is partly due to the parallel

nature of the activity (biking works too) and partly due to the being-

up-and-away feeling that many autistic people seem to like (biking

works even better for this aspect).

Re the older teen and adult, I recall finding something in historical

threads that I thought was very insightful. It was the writing of a

high functioning individual on the spectrum who explained that the

best social activity for her was doing something with someone that

they both enjoy -- the socialization that we NT's think of as

fundamental, she likens to chirping or whale sounds. You may

remember the site: http://mjane.zolaweb.com/snipframe.html.

I especially recommend the following essays:

" How much " social " is enough. "

" Social language/Swimming with whales "

" Social exhaustion. "

" Speaking/Not speaking. "

[Guest guest]

Hi :

All of your comments lead me to the same conclusion...that sometimes the

" activity " doesn't have to be all that complicated...lunch or dinner, out with

friends...which is how a lot of us socialize with our friends, over coffee, or a

good meal, which for some of our kids will be pizza or burgers...listening to

music together...how about checking out garage bands??? There are always a

number of up and coming " indie " highschool bands...Making brownies, popcorn or

anything for that matter with a small group at someone's house and then watching

a movie or maybe going to each others houses to watch home movies and look at

photo albums...I know many kids LOVE to review their family history...

I love 's comment about the sounds...and just accepting that some

individuals may enjoy a reciprocal exchange on their own level, whatever that

may be...

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeld

egskb@...

Re: Suggestions from Seasoned Parents needed

This is thread near and dear to me -- as our kids age, the SRA

activities (for their age) can become too far from their abilities or

interests. Similarly abled peers can be hard to find. Schools can't

give any leads because of privacy concerns.

Ellen's NW-based group sounds like a good model and of course Best

Buddies gets good reviews. NW and De both have the latter as do

several high schools. But I don't know how you can nominate your own

kid for their services. They reach out through service groups to

find their clients.

I once got our SRA to start working on ideas for activity groups for

the narrower classification of autism, but nothing came of it. No

criticism here -- their budgets are stretched and the staff

frequently moves on. Our school pushes Special Olympics; they don't

seem to understand that for many of us that makes no sense when the

goal or main idea of the sport or competition is irrelevant or even

undesirable to our kids. Again, no criticism -- they realize that

the whole point for our kids is to develop and increase social

ability, or at least tolerance, and they're focused on that; it's

just that the general disability model doesn't work for our kids.

In our experience, the parallel play of pre-school was OK, and all

the way up to about 8-11 years we could modify rec' activities to

allow ours to participate more or less, but it was really more

parallel. Note Ellen's comment about skating (ditto here, including

the outgrowing phase), which I think is partly due to the parallel

nature of the activity (biking works too) and partly due to the being-

up-and-away feeling that many autistic people seem to like (biking

works even better for this aspect).

Re the older teen and adult, I recall finding something in historical

threads that I thought was very insightful. It was the writing of a

high functioning individual on the spectrum who explained that the

best social activity for her was doing something with someone that

they both enjoy -- the socialization that we NT's think of as

fundamental, she likens to chirping or whale sounds. You may

remember the site: http://mjane.zolaweb.com/snipframe.html.

I especially recommend the following essays:

" How much " social " is enough. "

" Social language/Swimming with whales "

" Social exhaustion. "

" Speaking/Not speaking. "

[Guest guest]

You might try nominating your child for Best Buddies, that's what I

did at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign program. At our

program, they have more college buddies than those with

disabilities. We have not always had luck with this program,

however. We had two not so good years because the first buddy was a

freshman girl who wasn't into a child like mine (with autism) that

doesn't talk much, but loves doing active things. I spelled out the

type of person who would work best with my son and it is working much

better this year. He is now 16. Last year the college student got

too busy and quit. This year they have changed their model somewhat

with more group activities and trying to team the people in small

groups versus one on one. I think we have to educate the buddies,

too. The coordinator, for example, has a brother with Down Syndrome

who is probably very different from my son. I feel that he has

listened to me and what other parents have told him.

I would love to find someone in our area that likes rollerblading,

speed or figure skating, and bicycling. Unfortunately our Special

Rec and Special Olympics here do not have enough sports, part of that

is due to lack of interest. For example, there are only two

interested in speed skating this year and so to skate, we must join

with the Pekin team. A few years back there were 6 in the program.

BTW, the link http://mjane.zolaweb.com/snipframe.html doesn't work,

but maybe I'm learning something from it in that I'm always talking

with my son, trying to explain things when maybe I should be quiet

more often. Hope you all had a nice meal yesterday and could count

your blessings.

..

>

> This is thread near and dear to me -- as our kids age, the SRA

> activities (for their age) can become too far from their abilities

or

> interests. Similarly abled peers can be hard to find. Schools

can't

> give any leads because of privacy concerns.

>

> Ellen's NW-based group sounds like a good model and of course Best

> Buddies gets good reviews. NW and De both have the latter as

do

> several high schools. But I don't know how you can nominate your

own

> kid for their services. They reach out through service groups to

> find their clients.

>

> I once got our SRA to start working on ideas for activity groups

for

> the narrower classification of autism, but nothing came of it. No

> criticism here -- their budgets are stretched and the staff

> frequently moves on. Our school pushes Special Olympics; they

don't

> seem to understand that for many of us that makes no sense when the

> goal or main idea of the sport or competition is irrelevant or even

> undesirable to our kids. Again, no criticism -- they realize that

> the whole point for our kids is to develop and increase social

> ability, or at least tolerance, and they're focused on that; it's

> just that the general disability model doesn't work for our kids.

>

> In our experience, the parallel play of pre-school was OK, and all

> the way up to about 8-11 years we could modify rec' activities to

> allow ours to participate more or less, but it was really more

> parallel. Note Ellen's comment about skating (ditto here,

including

> the outgrowing phase), which I think is partly due to the parallel

> nature of the activity (biking works too) and partly due to the

being-

> up-and-away feeling that many autistic people seem to like (biking

> works even better for this aspect).

>

> Re the older teen and adult, I recall finding something in

historical

> threads that I thought was very insightful. It was the writing of a

> high functioning individual on the spectrum who explained that the

> best social activity for her was doing something with someone that

> they both enjoy -- the socialization that we NT's think of as

> fundamental, she likens to chirping or whale sounds. You may

> remember the site: http://mjane.zolaweb.com/snipframe.html.

>

> I especially recommend the following essays:

>

> " How much " social " is enough. "

> " Social language/Swimming with whales "

> " Social exhaustion. "

> " Speaking/Not speaking. "

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks. Good to know nominations can work. I was planning to keep

trying, but I would have been half-hearted if not for your comment. I

see you're finding the same kind of tendency in the service groups --

to gravitate to the more social individuals and more social

activities. I glad you found someone who understands this is an NTs

natural tendency and realizes it's an extra sacrifice for the volunteer

to get little positive feedback. Kudos to your effort to make this

happen.

RE the link -- I checked it again and it worked for me -- right out of

your post. I think I remember some people had problems using links out

of IPADD posts. Try typing it in w/ or w/o the " http// " . It's well

worth the effort.

And, yes, I really wish our kids were in the same area; especially a

few years ago.

>

> You might try nominating your child for Best Buddies, that's what I

> did......... I think we have to educate the buddies,

> too. The coordinator, for example, has a brother with Down Syndrome

> who is probably very different from my son. I feel that he has

> listened .....

> BTW, the link http://mjane.zolaweb.com/snipframe.html doesn't work,

>

[Guest guest]

Thank the Lord will be here!

Anyway, here are my suggestions:

When I was a teenager, my church youth group put together boxes for

orphanages (do they still exist?)every year for the holidays. We

got together and made stuff from Labor Day weekend on, and all

brought toiletries, etc. as we went along. We had a party

Thanksgiving weekend (which is why I even remembered this, since my

brother brought it up Turkey Day)and put together the boxes. It was

a craft party every Saturday and we made doll clothes, etc. with a

new craft idea brought by our leaders and very fun. I still keep in

touch with a very good friend who participated with me. You could

have a craft club, trying new things every time and try to see if

there is a local agency who whould be interested in boxes put

together by the girls.

What about putting on a play or a concert? Gail would agree with

me, singing together is fun and a real bonding experience as is

putting on a play.

I would agree with whom ever mentioned SRAs tend to fall short as

our kids get older. We want to keep age appropriate and still

acknowledge our kids interests. It is interesting to think about.

I look at my regular park district programs to get ideas--what do NT

kids like to do?

Hope this helps.

Marie

> >

> > Happy Pre-turkey day.

> >

> > I have a 14year old female (you probably know that) with

autism.

> > Moderate-?????

> >

> > Someone just asked me for suggestions of what to do for

> > teenagers...meaning activities, etc...A group is applying for

a

> > grant and the money has to be used on Materials, etc (no

> > administrative costs...its an all volunteer organization

anyway).

> >

> > I have read here where there are " book clubs " , however, my

daughter

> > while she can read, is not verbal enough to express what she

read,

> > nor " do we think " she has the ability/interest to read a book

more

> > than things like " golden books..but boy she know's what they

say " .

> >

> > Does anyone have suggestions for Group type activities,

education,

> > etc that a 13-21 year old should be involved in, or would have

> liked

> > to have had when their child was that age?

> >

> > Feel free to e-mail offline if you want.

> > Suggestions/recommendations of what DIDN't work also are

welcomed.

> > I'm at a real loss.

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

My daughter also loved roller blading and ice skating, mostly I think because

she could work at her own speed and was more successful. Team sports never

worked well.

She just got her black belt in karate, which has the side benefit of

strengthening muscles and providing some protection. It was difficult to find a

class that worked for her. She spent three years in a class with mostly older

men, but the idea was for her to gain self control and not run wild. Finally I

found a Pastor whose ministry is teaching karate thruout the south and western

suburbs. Really wonderful and patient person. Again she was able to go at her

own pace and was in a class that was all different belt levels so she never

seemed out of place. Good luck! Gloria

[Guest guest]

I am glad to find a way to make links work!

Cool!

I love hearing various ways to pair our children up with buddies and with small

groups...

This is always a valuable conversation for us to be having.

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeld

egskb@...

Re: Suggestions from Seasoned Parents needed

Thanks. Good to know nominations can work. I was planning to keep

trying, but I would have been half-hearted if not for your comment. I

see you're finding the same kind of tendency in the service groups --

to gravitate to the more social individuals and more social

activities. I glad you found someone who understands this is an NTs

natural tendency and realizes it's an extra sacrifice for the volunteer

to get little positive feedback. Kudos to your effort to make this

happen.

RE the link -- I checked it again and it worked for me -- right out of

your post. I think I remember some people had problems using links out

of IPADD posts. Try typing it in w/ or w/o the " http// " . It's well

worth the effort.

And, yes, I really wish our kids were in the same area; especially a

few years ago.

>

> You might try nominating your child for Best Buddies, that's what I

> did......... I think we have to educate the buddies,

> too. The coordinator, for example, has a brother with Down Syndrome

> who is probably very different from my son. I feel that he has

> listened .....

> BTW, the link http://mjane.zolaweb.com/snipframe.html doesn't work,

>

[Guest guest]

Too bad we are all living in different communities...it sounds like so many of

our children have similar interests. Noah is auditing a karate class at Trinity

University right now. He is not very good at it, but some of the other students

are remarkably kind and the Sensei is terrific.

It has been a wonderful experience for both of us.

We had a similarly wonderful experience in speed skating some years ago...

Ellen

Ellen Garber Bronfeld

egskb@...

Re: Suggestions from Seasoned Parents needed

My daughter also loved roller blading and ice skating, mostly I think because

she could work at her own speed and was more successful. Team sports never

worked well.

She just got her black belt in karate, which has the side benefit of

strengthening muscles and providing some protection. It was difficult to find a

class that worked for her. She spent three years in a class with mostly older

men, but the idea was for her to gain self control and not run wild. Finally I

found a Pastor whose ministry is teaching karate thruout the south and western

suburbs. Really wonderful and patient person. Again she was able to go at her

own pace and was in a class that was all different belt levels so she never

seemed out of place. Good luck! Gloria

[Guest guest]

My son, 25, has always enjoyed bowling. MNASR (maine-Niles Special Rec)

has bowling several times during the week and he also bowls with an

Autism Social Group, once a month.