On community

[Guest guest]

The obvious may not

be so obvious.

.. Many people who experience our services are profoundly lonely. Much

of their suffering results from isolation not disability.

.. The ultimate success of a service system depends upon its ability

to help people to maintain and develop positive, " enduring, freely chosen "

relationships. (O'Brien, 1987).

.. When people are connected to a social network, they are generally

happier, healthier, and better able to adjust to life's ups and downs.

.. The benefits of our therapies and interventions cannot be sustained

in the absence of meaningful relationships. Relationships are a necessary

pre-condition to long-term success.

.. People who most need relationships are often relationship

resistant. Many are experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result

of betrayal and abuse. Our high turnover rates are re-traumatizing these

individuals and it is unethical not to act.

.. There is a big difference between coverage and relationships.

We keep giving people coverage (and programs and interventions) when they

desperately need to be in relationship. Caring about someone is not the

same thing as taking care of someone. You can't make people care about one

another but the good news is that happens all the time.

.. People should not have to " earn " the right to be with friends or

family.

.. Difficult behaviors are often an individual's only way of creating

engagement. We must ask, " Who would the person if he or she did not exhibit

difficult behaviors? "

.. Social policy is, at best, a blunt instrument. We can promote

things that enhance an individual's chances of forming and maintaining

relationships (e.g., we can support families to raise their children at

home; we can support the inclusion of children with disabilities in their

neighborhood schools; we can help people to find real jobs for real wages in

the real world; we can support home-ownership; we can fund self-directed

supports), but the reality is that the tools for the job require a great

deal of precision (e.g., someone needs to know each person in a meaningful

sense, understand what works and what doesn't work, provide support over

time).

.. Sadly, most of what we pay for erodes the potential for people to

maintain or develop meaningful relationships (e.g., treatment centers for

children; " special " classrooms; sheltered workshops; group homes; budgets

that are allotted to groups of people rather than individuals).

.. Our growing reliance on Medicaid has only heightened the chances

that we will lose track of the importance of relationships because of

increased paperwork requirements and the financial incentive to promote

medical or habilitation " therapies. "

.. It probably goes without saying that there are a number of things

beyond our control. What's needed now, more than ever, is the courage to

work for things we can't reasonably expect to happen for the people in our

service system.

.. The people most likely to find the courage to stand up for

relationships are the ones who understand the importance of relationships in

their own lives.

To be vulnerable is not to be in jeopardy.

To be vulnerable and isolated is the matrix of disaster.

- Willard Gaylin, M.D.

Partridge

Northern Illinois Field Organizer

Managing the Art of Living

www.managingtheartofliving.org

815-262-0699