Nice article in today's Trib

[Guest guest]

Special-needs kids need special toys

At holiday time, parents may find it hard to buy gifts for autistic

children

By Black | Tribune reporter

December 15, 2008

Laurie Jerue struggled for years with bittersweet emotions as she bought

her daughter Big Bird toys while the girl's peers moved on to teenage

interests.

Her daughter, , 20, of Naperville is autistic. To this day, all she

has ever wanted for Christmas and birthdays were Sesame Street characters

and videos.

" There is a part of you that grieves with every holiday, " Jerue said.

It is a dilemma that many parents of children with special needs face at

gift-giving times, with autism posing some of the most difficult

challenges.

Parents struggle with whether to oblige the child who desires nothing

more than church directories, word puzzles, spinning toys or even

cleaning supplies—all real examples from youngsters' wish lists.

Friends might see the child's exotic interests as humorous or cute. But

the youngster's family recognizes that the obsession represents their

child's special need for a coping tool or bridge to the outside world

that is otherwise confusing and overwhelming.

" Autism is one of the hardest, if not the hardest, to figure out and

help, " said Ellen Metrick, a manager for the Chicago-based National

Lekotek Center, a non-profit organization that provides and modifies toys

for children with disabilities.

" For children who have sensory processing difficulties, some kids crave

more sensory input and other kids need less, " she said. " They have a very

difficult time with pretend play. It's too abstract. "

Jerue for years tried to shift her daughter's interest to educational

toys, but finally concluded in a " light-bulb moment " that is merely

a collector.

" Once I let go of some of those social expectations . . . and bought what

I just thought would make her happy, it's all been good, " she said.

Kennedy of Libertyville said gift-giving can be frustrating,

but there's never any question about what will make his 8-year-old

daughter, Shea, happy.

" Children with autism tend to have singular interests, " said Kennedy. " We

have just about every video ever made by the Wiggles and Barney. "

Metrick said environment is often just as important as the toy,

suggesting that parents create a space that contains as few distractions

as possible. Lighting, background noise and room temperature can affect a

child's play.

She knew one boy with autism who had trouble putting together

puzzles—unless he was upside down.

" He had bunk beds and when he hung over the bunk bed, he could do puzzles

with no problem, " Metrick said. " Everything else in the environment

doesn't make sense, so it's wiped clean. Only the puzzle makes sense when

he's upside down. "

Other parents, such as Jerue, can be great resources.

While no longer carries a Big Bird with her outside the house, she

has dozens in her bedroom, her mother said.

Mother and daughter go to flea markets together, where Laurie Jerue

searches for decorative dinner plates, which she collects. looks

for more Big Birds.

" I will always wish that she develops and has real friendships and real

relationships with people in her life. But there are times when people

come and go, and when she's lonely, " Jerue said. " When she's sad and

lonely, I am glad she has Big Bird. "

____________________________________________________________

Save $15 on Flowers and Gifts from FTD!

Shop now at http://offers.juno.com/TGL1141/?u=http://www.ftd.com/17007