Saying 'Yes' to Life

[Guest guest]

Free-Reprint Article Written by: Bruce Elkin

See Terms of Reprint Below.

*****************************************************************

*

* This email is being delivered directly to members of the group:

*

*

*

*****************************************************************

We have moved our TERMS OF REPRINT to the end of the article.

Be certain to read our TERMS OF REPRINT and honor our TERMS

OF REPRINT when you use this article. Thank you.

This article has been distributed by:

http://Article-Distribution.com

Helpful Link:

The Digital Millennium Copyright Act - Overview

http://www.gseis.ucla.edu/iclp/dmca1.htm

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Article Title:

==============

Saying 'Yes' to Life

Article Description:

====================

o you ever gripe and complain about life? About what happens to

you, or what you have or do not have? I used to, a lot. I hoped

complaining would make things better. But it didn't. In spite

of my tendency to whine, I was a doer. I did not like teaching

public school. So I left and created programs for environmental

education and wilderness leadership. I started to write. I set

up my own business.

Additional Article Information:

===============================

982 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line

Distribution Date and Time: 2008-02-15 10:24:00

Written By: Bruce Elkin

Copyright: 2006-2008

Contact Email: mailto:Bruce@...

Bruce Elkin's Picture URL:

http://www.bruceelkin.com/images/bruceelkin.jpg

For more free-reprint articles by Bruce Elkin, please visit:

http://www.thePhantomWriters.com/recent/author/bruce-elkin.html

=============================================

Special Notice For Publishers and Webmasters:

=============================================

If you use this article on your website or in your ezine,

We Want To Know About It. Use the following URL to let

us know where you have used this article, and we will

include a link to your website on thePhantomWriters.com:

http://thephantomwriters.com/notify.php?id=5568 & p=load

HTML Copy-and-Paste and TEXT Copy-and-Paste

Versions Of Article Are Available at:

http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/db/e/yes-to-life.shtml#get_code

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Saying 'Yes' to Life

Copyright © 2006-2008 Bruce Elkin

Personal Life Coaching Services

http://www.bruceelkin.com/

Do you ever gripe and complain about life? About what happens

to

you, or what you have or do not have?

I used to, a lot. I hoped complaining would make things better.

But it didn't.

In spite of my tendency to whine, I was a doer. I did not like

teaching public school. So I left and created programs for

environmental education and wilderness leadership. I started to

write. I set up my own business.

Although I liked what I did and was good at it, it was

difficult.

It drained me. I felt like I was climbing a mountain with an

extra 50 pounds of rocks in my pack.

I had to force myself to take action. Along the way, I moaned

and groaned. I thought, " Life should not be so hard. " I

worried

about burning out. Or worse.

A New Approach

One day, I met an old friend, who had created a truly successful

life.

had been a top architect, but fought a trend to bland,

" money-driven design. " In spite of awards, he left his

profession, its politics, and a sprawling city. He designed and

built a house in a beautiful rural valley, and rebuilt his life

as an artist, teacher, and family man.

When we talked, had a wonderful long-lasting marriage, and

two great, self-sufficient children. His paintings had changed

from pretty but commonplace nature scenes to vibrant,

life-filled

paintings of people doing things they loved.

I asked him why he thought things had worked out so well.

" It was difficult at first, " he said. " But it all got a lot

easier when I started saying 'Yes' to whatever came along. "

" What do you mean? " I asked.

" Instead of worrying about every decision, " he said, " if an

opportunity popped up, I took a look. I tried it out. In spite

of fears or doubts, I said, 'Yes,' and went for it. It was

great. I felt I was living without regrets.

" But, " he added, " there was a downside. Saying 'yes' to

everything can be hectic. I often had a lot going on. Too

much,

sometimes. I had to learn to say 'yes' to the most important

things to make space for them to grow.

" I learned to let go of less important things. I discovered

letting go is part of saying 'yes' to change and endings. When

I

started saying 'yes' in that way, it all started to flow. I

didn't have to force decisions or actions; results seemed to

come

naturally. I took life as it came. I relaxed, finally at ease

with change. "

I came away from my chat with inspired but confused.

Although I was making progress in my own life, things did not

flow for me.

I had to force myself to make decisions, and take action. I

tried to wrestle into being the things I wanted. The 50 pounds

of rocks still took its toll.

The Word in Our Heart

After pondering 's words for a while, I finally grasped the

wisdom in something I had read, but not fully understood.

" Each of us carries a word in our heart, " wrote positive

psychologist Seligman in his book Learned Optimism,

" a 'no' or a 'yes'. "

What, I wondered, was my word?

As I thought about it, I realized, although I focused on

creating

positive results, the dominant word in my heart was still

" no. "

In my attempt to better myself, and my world, I focused mostly

on

problems. I wasted precious energy trying to get rid of things

I did not like and did not want.

Although I knew " creating " usually generated better and long-

lasting results than problem-solving, I still saw my creations

as solutions to problems, rather than things I loved and wanted

to bring into being.

Trying to force creations into being, I used willpower

manipulation. I tried overpowering the forces in play with my

will. That worked sometimes, but it was draining! Worse, the

results rarely lasted.

I also used conflict manipulation. Feeling sorry for myself

because creating did not come as easy as I thought it should, I

whine and complained. Doing so not only drained me; it

irritated

others, and often led to conflict.

I wasn't like that all the time. I got things done. I took the

lead in creating a mountaineering school. I developed

leadership

programs, wrote articles, gave speeches, and started coaching

others. However, after chatting with , I realized " Yes "

was

not yet the primary word in my heart.

When I made it so, things changed dramatically.

Saying " Yes " to Whatever Life Gives You

I gradually let go of my need to solve problems. Instead, I

focused on creating what I truly wanted in my life and world.

I stopped imposing my will on others, the world, and myself. I

began to do as the poet Rumi suggests; I let myself be silently

drawn by the stronger pull of what I really loved.

Suddenly, life got a lot easier. It was as if someone removed

that 50 pounds of rocks from of my pack. My legs felt stronger,

my step lighter. I felt as if I was striding relaxed and easily

up the mountain of my life.

Yes, I still had problems. I still faced obstacles and

adversity, but I accepted them instead of fighting against them.

I embraced difficulties as " givens, " raw material out of which

to

create what mattered to me. I learned from adversity, and rose

above it. I started saying " yes " to whatever came along.

It was a great day when I realized I could create success and

happiness with whatever life gave me. I reinvented my business

to reflect my new insights. I interacted better with clients.

My writing became easier and more effective.

And, in no time, I began to feel the flow had talked about.

My life, I realized, was very good. Yes!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Bruce Elkin is a writer, coach, and consultant who helps

individuals and organizations create what matters most-in spite

of problems, circumstances, and adversity. His ebook Emotional

Mastery: Manage Your Moods and Create What Matters Most-With

Whatever Life Gives You is available on his website at:

http://www.BruceElkin.com.