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<<I feel needs to learn it's ok to be retarded and in doing so,

he must

hear that at home. Not that we call him retard but we do say retarded

around

him. He will also know he has Down syndrome (many parents dont tell

their

kids they are!)>>

Sorry, , but I disagree. I had a conversation with my friend, ,

last

night. It started with him asking me if I watch the tv show called

Politically

Correct. (or is it Incorrect?) Anyway...he always says Ted is not

retarded. I think

the word has to go. It has very negative connotations and I won't ever

make

Ted feel that he needs to learn it is ok nor will I desensitize him by

saying it

at home. This is not to say that I'm deluded in thinking that Ted has

the same intelligence that most of the population has. I am truly amazed

that

so many television shows say retarded to mean stupid. I had the nurse in

ICU

in 1996 say she was so retarded because she was having trouble changing

the chair into a bed for me to rest while Ted was recovering from open

heart

surgery. Of course I reported her to the sensitivity police. I have

also stopped

using the word Down syndrome and am using Ted's medical terminology of

Trisomy 21 is someone needs to know. Down syndrome is becoming just

another label that I don't need to lay on Ted. Recently at an IEP

meeting with

the district, the school psych said that Ted was mentally retarded 3

times before

my 2nd, attorney said knock it off.

Gail who won't be telling my kids what they are and watching them for

what they

will be.

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I had the nurse in

>ICU

>in 1996 say she was so retarded because she was having trouble changing

>the chair into a bed for me to rest while Ted was recovering from open

>heart

>surgery. Of course I reported her to the sensitivity police.

You will not believe the things I've heard that are " so retarded "

Just as a reminder, because this will explain a lot of it, I had my daughter

with DS at 17 years old so.... not to disrespect the youth of this country

but they use this word in every other sentence!!

At first, I was shocked when people would say it but just kindly smiled.

Awhile later, I would ream people if I heard them say the word. At this

point, it's almost as though I feel exhausted with the entire situation.

They say the word while talking directly to me, knowing that my Gabby has DS

but it's like they don't put two and two together! At this point, I realize

that they do not realize what they are saying. Honestly, they are not

putting the mental image of a person who is differently abled into their

brain when they describe their brother as being retarded or their boss as

being retarded. It's almost as if I pity them for their poor use of

language. To those who really mean something to me though, my friends who

may or may not be my age (motherhood has a way of speeding up the maturation

process - most of my friends are much older than me) they KNOW how much it

hurts us to hear the word retarded used incorrectly. Don't get me wrong

though - I do have times when I think the word is being used to hurt and it

is then that I will scream bloody murder - because it is not right! Just as

I believe racial slurs are not right... the same goes with slurs against a

person's RIGHT TO BE DISABLED!

This brings to mind a situation that occured at my present job. We have

something called an " Art Wall " because I work with artsy fartsy people ;)

One person wrote a message underneath his art work saying " Blah Blah

something artistic " and another person wrote underneath *that* " More like

autistic " I assume as a lame attempt at being funny. I took offense to it. I

work in a very large company and I just know that I could not have been the

only one to take offense to it. I don't have a child that is autistic but

clearly I would be offended if someone associated my child with this man's

work (ROFLMAO!) Hrm... maybe that came out wrong... ;)

I can say retarded in describing my daughter's developmental pattern but she

- who she is - her being - is not retarded. She IS not a retard because, in

my mind, someone cannot be " to be slowed " Do ya get where I'm coming from?

LOL

So if ever asked whether my daughter is retarded I would have to say no. Her

development is. But she is so many other things and retarded is not one of

them.

Just my $0.02

Sandy

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In a message dated 3/5/01 10:16:19 AM Central Standard Time,

writingawrong@... writes:

> So if ever asked whether my daughter is retarded I would have to say no. Her

> development is. But she is so many other things and retarded is not one of

> them.

>

> Just my $0.02

>

> Sandy

>

You are so right Sandy, retarded is NOT one of them. I am not around

young people who talk that way much but I am not surprised to hear it.

Jessie

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hi all - boy, can i relate to this topic! just the other day i placed a

phone call to my 8th grade (nda) daughters teacher. since the beginning of

school, he has been making rude and inappropriate comments, and they are

getting in the way of her learning. i thought it time to address them.

i mentioned a few of the comments that my daughter found offensive and

troubling. one was: " oh, there really are retards in the 8th grade " ,

another: " you're just gonna grow up to be a homosexual anyway " and a third:

" what are you, a wussy? "

the teacher asked if i was *sure* that he said there really were retards in

the 8th grade in *her* class, " because michelle is in the smart class " - can

you believe it? he also went on to say that he knew not to say things like

that, that michelle was sensitive to that word because " she has a down

syndrome sibling " . normally i would not push for the politically correct

terminology, but i did say that yes, " she has a brother who does have down

syndrome. " he replied, " yes, that's what i said... " and i said, " well, not

quite, but anyway... "

he said that he would " try " to be more politically correct, but that if he

had to curtail his way of teaching the kids and fooling around with them that

it would be a pretty boring class. i suggested that he could, like many of

the other teachers, have a good time in class and have alot of fun with the

kids without degrading them and making fun of them.

i also stressed that this was not about being politically correct. and it

was not about michelle's sensitivity level. it was about right and wrong. i

asked if he would use the " n " word in his class and expect that the black

students not be " so sensitive " to it?

the purpose of the phone call was to eliminate the issues that were getting

in the way of my daughters learning. clearly, this man does not see that

anything he is doing is in any way incorrect. he just kept digging himself

in deeper and deeper.

he even was annoyed that michelle herself did not approach him about it. can

you imagine any 13 year old being brave enough to confront her teacher - one

that she despises?? i told him he was expecting an awful lot, that it took

me a long enough time to call, and that i was not particularly thrilled with

the outcome of the conversation.

i said that calling a child a " wussy " was not particularly encouraging or

any way to boost a childs self esteem and that perhaps it goes in direct

conflict with the health class objectives to ensure that all students feel

good about themselves and others. imagine if all the teachers called this

child a wussy? imagine if this other child was homosexual?

its just so frustrating - and i'm not sure if its over. erick's case manager

suggested that its an administrative issue and should be brought to the

administratives attention.

is it just me??

sandy

mom to erick (almost 6, ds) and his 2 big sisters

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In a message dated 3/5/01 3:45:21 PM, writes:

>We have stopped using most of the racial hate words and most of the

>religious hate words. What about the intellectual hate words. It is

>time.

>Rick

Yes it is time!

I work at our HS and as said, teens use it in every other sentence, I

too am exhusted with the entire situation. If I had a dime for every time I

have had to point out to one of them what they are saying I could retire in

riches.

Green

Mom to 18

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In a message dated 3/5/2001 8:53:08 AM Eastern Standard Time,

gboughton@... writes:

> Sorry, , but I disagree. I had a conversation with my friend, ,

> last

> night.

Ok, we can agree to disagree :) I just want to make it clear that when we

discuss mental retardation in the family, it's not done in a negative way.

It's a fact of life, just like Tim has a bad back. I am also proud of

for being with all the uniqueness has.

As far as political correctness (no I dont' watch TV much)...I'm surprised

there has never been a campaign by disability advocates to wear buttons that

says PFL or something to grab someones attention. I'm sure many of us would

wear them!

I do have a major brag tonight. went up to Snoop and said " Snoop,

got to go pee? " That is a 5 word sentence!! Tim and I laughed because not

only did he say this clear as a bell, but he also signed pee. Is he trying

to teach Snoop sign? LOL! Then he got the leash, TJ helped snap it on his

collar and he headed to the door. Yikes..no one locked the door after

left! Tim and I both bolted for the door to get Snoop. Snoop weights well

over 100 lbs and I could just see him drag and then take off down the

road. Never mind that it is freezing cold here and only had his

jeans on..no shirt or shoes :)

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In a message dated 3/5/2001 8:53:08 AM Eastern Standard Time,

gboughton@... writes:

> Sorry, , but I disagree. I had a conversation with my friend, ,

> last

> night.

Ok, we can agree to disagree :) I just want to make it clear that when we

discuss mental retardation in the family, it's not done in a negative way.

It's a fact of life, just like Tim has a bad back. I am also proud of

for being with all the uniqueness has.

As far as political correctness (no I dont' watch TV much)...I'm surprised

there has never been a campaign by disability advocates to wear buttons that

says PFL or something to grab someones attention. I'm sure many of us would

wear them!

I do have a major brag tonight. went up to Snoop and said " Snoop,

got to go pee? " That is a 5 word sentence!! Tim and I laughed because not

only did he say this clear as a bell, but he also signed pee. Is he trying

to teach Snoop sign? LOL! Then he got the leash, TJ helped snap it on his

collar and he headed to the door. Yikes..no one locked the door after

left! Tim and I both bolted for the door to get Snoop. Snoop weights well

over 100 lbs and I could just see him drag and then take off down the

road. Never mind that it is freezing cold here and only had his

jeans on..no shirt or shoes :)

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I think that if the teacher doesnt 'clean up his act', then you should bring

it to the adminstration. I think that many teachers in middle school want to

connect with the students by trying to be cool and trying to relate to them

by using offensive language. I am a teacher too, and I would not speak to my

students like that or want my children spoken to like that by a teacher.

Give him a chance- then go to the administration!

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In a message dated 3/5/2001 8:53:08 AM Eastern Standard Time,

gboughton@... writes:

> Sorry, , but I disagree. I had a conversation with my friend, ,

> last

> night.

Ok, we can agree to disagree :) I just want to make it clear that when we

discuss mental retardation in the family, it's not done in a negative way.

It's a fact of life, just like Tim has a bad back. I am also proud of

for being with all the uniqueness has.

As far as political correctness (no I dont' watch TV much)...I'm surprised

there has never been a campaign by disability advocates to wear buttons that

says PFL or something to grab someones attention. I'm sure many of us would

wear them!

I do have a major brag tonight. went up to Snoop and said " Snoop,

got to go pee? " That is a 5 word sentence!! Tim and I laughed because not

only did he say this clear as a bell, but he also signed pee. Is he trying

to teach Snoop sign? LOL! Then he got the leash, TJ helped snap it on his

collar and he headed to the door. Yikes..no one locked the door after

left! Tim and I both bolted for the door to get Snoop. Snoop weights well

over 100 lbs and I could just see him drag and then take off down the

road. Never mind that it is freezing cold here and only had his

jeans on..no shirt or shoes :)

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In a message dated 3/5/01 8:47:47 PM Eastern Standard Time, sjdodd@...

writes:

> its just so frustrating - and i'm not sure if its over. erick's case

> manager

> suggested that its an administrative issue and should be brought to the

>

I would now write a followup letter to the principal with a cc to the

superintendent of the district. This is an administrative issue. In fact, I

would take the next step--to the school board if I was not happy with the

principal/superintendent response.

nancy

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I am a librarian in a middle school and get to see just about every

teacher interact with his class at one time or another. I can tell you

that most teachers have little respect for " colleagues " who communicate in

this way; it tends to erode students' behavior in other classes, not to

mention what it does to societal values.

You are on the right track. Keep a written record of the conversation

that transpired with the teacher. Then, tell to report to you if

it happens again. (It probably will.) After that, you really should go to

the school administration. You would be doing a service to the entire

school community.

Bev

mom to Danny (9, DS); three daughters; three cats; and Opie, the Suaree

stray

wife to Hec

----------

From: sjdodd@...

Subject: Re: offensive language

Date: Monday, March 05, 2001 8:46 PM

hi all - boy, can i relate to this topic! just the other day i placed a

phone call to my 8th grade (nda) daughters teacher.

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Nope you were right to discuss these issues with him. He sounds like an

ignorant jackass. (I am being less crass to spare others) I agree that if

this continues or the man retaliates against your daughter, you should

contact the administration. I sincerely hope that the school doesn't

condone demeaning children in the classroom. I saw an episode on 7th Heaven

about this very issue. The minister's wife went in and let the teacher have

it (verbally of course).

Elaine

Re: offensive language

> hi all - boy, can i relate to this topic! just the other day i placed a

> phone call to my 8th grade (nda) daughters teacher. since the beginning

of

> school, he has been making rude and inappropriate comments, and they are

> getting in the way of her learning. i thought it time to address them.

>

> i mentioned a few of the comments that my daughter found offensive and

> troubling. one was: " oh, there really are retards in the 8th grade " ,

> another: " you're just gonna grow up to be a homosexual anyway " and a

third:

> " what are you, a wussy? "

>

> the teacher asked if i was *sure* that he said there really were retards

in

> the 8th grade in *her* class, " because michelle is in the smart class " -

can

> you believe it? he also went on to say that he knew not to say things

like

> that, that michelle was sensitive to that word because " she has a down

> syndrome sibling " . normally i would not push for the politically correct

> terminology, but i did say that yes, " she has a brother who does have down

> syndrome. " he replied, " yes, that's what i said... " and i said, " well,

not

> quite, but anyway... "

>

> he said that he would " try " to be more politically correct, but that if he

> had to curtail his way of teaching the kids and fooling around with them

that

> it would be a pretty boring class. i suggested that he could, like many

of

> the other teachers, have a good time in class and have alot of fun with

the

> kids without degrading them and making fun of them.

>

> i also stressed that this was not about being politically correct. and it

> was not about michelle's sensitivity level. it was about right and wrong.

i

> asked if he would use the " n " word in his class and expect that the black

> students not be " so sensitive " to it?

>

> the purpose of the phone call was to eliminate the issues that were

getting

> in the way of my daughters learning. clearly, this man does not see that

> anything he is doing is in any way incorrect. he just kept digging

himself

> in deeper and deeper.

>

> he even was annoyed that michelle herself did not approach him about it.

can

> you imagine any 13 year old being brave enough to confront her teacher -

one

> that she despises?? i told him he was expecting an awful lot, that it

took

> me a long enough time to call, and that i was not particularly thrilled

with

> the outcome of the conversation.

>

> i said that calling a child a " wussy " was not particularly encouraging or

> any way to boost a childs self esteem and that perhaps it goes in direct

> conflict with the health class objectives to ensure that all students feel

> good about themselves and others. imagine if all the teachers called this

> child a wussy? imagine if this other child was homosexual?

>

> its just so frustrating - and i'm not sure if its over. erick's case

manager

> suggested that its an administrative issue and should be brought to the

> administratives attention.

>

> is it just me??

>

> sandy

> mom to erick (almost 6, ds) and his 2 big sisters

>

>

>

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