Guest guest Posted March 5, 2001 Report Share Posted March 5, 2001 <<I feel needs to learn it's ok to be retarded and in doing so, he must hear that at home. Not that we call him retard but we do say retarded around him. He will also know he has Down syndrome (many parents dont tell their kids they are!)>> Sorry, , but I disagree. I had a conversation with my friend, , last night. It started with him asking me if I watch the tv show called Politically Correct. (or is it Incorrect?) Anyway...he always says Ted is not retarded. I think the word has to go. It has very negative connotations and I won't ever make Ted feel that he needs to learn it is ok nor will I desensitize him by saying it at home. This is not to say that I'm deluded in thinking that Ted has the same intelligence that most of the population has. I am truly amazed that so many television shows say retarded to mean stupid. I had the nurse in ICU in 1996 say she was so retarded because she was having trouble changing the chair into a bed for me to rest while Ted was recovering from open heart surgery. Of course I reported her to the sensitivity police. I have also stopped using the word Down syndrome and am using Ted's medical terminology of Trisomy 21 is someone needs to know. Down syndrome is becoming just another label that I don't need to lay on Ted. Recently at an IEP meeting with the district, the school psych said that Ted was mentally retarded 3 times before my 2nd, attorney said knock it off. Gail who won't be telling my kids what they are and watching them for what they will be. ________________________________________________________________ GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2001 Report Share Posted March 5, 2001 I had the nurse in >ICU >in 1996 say she was so retarded because she was having trouble changing >the chair into a bed for me to rest while Ted was recovering from open >heart >surgery. Of course I reported her to the sensitivity police. You will not believe the things I've heard that are " so retarded " Just as a reminder, because this will explain a lot of it, I had my daughter with DS at 17 years old so.... not to disrespect the youth of this country but they use this word in every other sentence!! At first, I was shocked when people would say it but just kindly smiled. Awhile later, I would ream people if I heard them say the word. At this point, it's almost as though I feel exhausted with the entire situation. They say the word while talking directly to me, knowing that my Gabby has DS but it's like they don't put two and two together! At this point, I realize that they do not realize what they are saying. Honestly, they are not putting the mental image of a person who is differently abled into their brain when they describe their brother as being retarded or their boss as being retarded. It's almost as if I pity them for their poor use of language. To those who really mean something to me though, my friends who may or may not be my age (motherhood has a way of speeding up the maturation process - most of my friends are much older than me) they KNOW how much it hurts us to hear the word retarded used incorrectly. Don't get me wrong though - I do have times when I think the word is being used to hurt and it is then that I will scream bloody murder - because it is not right! Just as I believe racial slurs are not right... the same goes with slurs against a person's RIGHT TO BE DISABLED! This brings to mind a situation that occured at my present job. We have something called an " Art Wall " because I work with artsy fartsy people One person wrote a message underneath his art work saying " Blah Blah something artistic " and another person wrote underneath *that* " More like autistic " I assume as a lame attempt at being funny. I took offense to it. I work in a very large company and I just know that I could not have been the only one to take offense to it. I don't have a child that is autistic but clearly I would be offended if someone associated my child with this man's work (ROFLMAO!) Hrm... maybe that came out wrong... I can say retarded in describing my daughter's developmental pattern but she - who she is - her being - is not retarded. She IS not a retard because, in my mind, someone cannot be " to be slowed " Do ya get where I'm coming from? LOL So if ever asked whether my daughter is retarded I would have to say no. Her development is. But she is so many other things and retarded is not one of them. Just my $0.02 Sandy _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2001 Report Share Posted March 5, 2001 In a message dated 3/5/01 10:16:19 AM Central Standard Time, writingawrong@... writes: > So if ever asked whether my daughter is retarded I would have to say no. Her > development is. But she is so many other things and retarded is not one of > them. > > Just my $0.02 > > Sandy > You are so right Sandy, retarded is NOT one of them. I am not around young people who talk that way much but I am not surprised to hear it. Jessie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2001 Report Share Posted March 5, 2001 hi all - boy, can i relate to this topic! just the other day i placed a phone call to my 8th grade (nda) daughters teacher. since the beginning of school, he has been making rude and inappropriate comments, and they are getting in the way of her learning. i thought it time to address them. i mentioned a few of the comments that my daughter found offensive and troubling. one was: " oh, there really are retards in the 8th grade " , another: " you're just gonna grow up to be a homosexual anyway " and a third: " what are you, a wussy? " the teacher asked if i was *sure* that he said there really were retards in the 8th grade in *her* class, " because michelle is in the smart class " - can you believe it? he also went on to say that he knew not to say things like that, that michelle was sensitive to that word because " she has a down syndrome sibling " . normally i would not push for the politically correct terminology, but i did say that yes, " she has a brother who does have down syndrome. " he replied, " yes, that's what i said... " and i said, " well, not quite, but anyway... " he said that he would " try " to be more politically correct, but that if he had to curtail his way of teaching the kids and fooling around with them that it would be a pretty boring class. i suggested that he could, like many of the other teachers, have a good time in class and have alot of fun with the kids without degrading them and making fun of them. i also stressed that this was not about being politically correct. and it was not about michelle's sensitivity level. it was about right and wrong. i asked if he would use the " n " word in his class and expect that the black students not be " so sensitive " to it? the purpose of the phone call was to eliminate the issues that were getting in the way of my daughters learning. clearly, this man does not see that anything he is doing is in any way incorrect. he just kept digging himself in deeper and deeper. he even was annoyed that michelle herself did not approach him about it. can you imagine any 13 year old being brave enough to confront her teacher - one that she despises?? i told him he was expecting an awful lot, that it took me a long enough time to call, and that i was not particularly thrilled with the outcome of the conversation. i said that calling a child a " wussy " was not particularly encouraging or any way to boost a childs self esteem and that perhaps it goes in direct conflict with the health class objectives to ensure that all students feel good about themselves and others. imagine if all the teachers called this child a wussy? imagine if this other child was homosexual? its just so frustrating - and i'm not sure if its over. erick's case manager suggested that its an administrative issue and should be brought to the administratives attention. is it just me?? sandy mom to erick (almost 6, ds) and his 2 big sisters Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2001 Report Share Posted March 5, 2001 In a message dated 3/5/01 3:45:21 PM, writes: >We have stopped using most of the racial hate words and most of the >religious hate words. What about the intellectual hate words. It is >time. >Rick Yes it is time! I work at our HS and as said, teens use it in every other sentence, I too am exhusted with the entire situation. If I had a dime for every time I have had to point out to one of them what they are saying I could retire in riches. Green Mom to 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2001 Report Share Posted March 5, 2001 In a message dated 3/5/2001 8:53:08 AM Eastern Standard Time, gboughton@... writes: > Sorry, , but I disagree. I had a conversation with my friend, , > last > night. Ok, we can agree to disagree I just want to make it clear that when we discuss mental retardation in the family, it's not done in a negative way. It's a fact of life, just like Tim has a bad back. I am also proud of for being with all the uniqueness has. As far as political correctness (no I dont' watch TV much)...I'm surprised there has never been a campaign by disability advocates to wear buttons that says PFL or something to grab someones attention. I'm sure many of us would wear them! I do have a major brag tonight. went up to Snoop and said " Snoop, got to go pee? " That is a 5 word sentence!! Tim and I laughed because not only did he say this clear as a bell, but he also signed pee. Is he trying to teach Snoop sign? LOL! Then he got the leash, TJ helped snap it on his collar and he headed to the door. Yikes..no one locked the door after left! Tim and I both bolted for the door to get Snoop. Snoop weights well over 100 lbs and I could just see him drag and then take off down the road. Never mind that it is freezing cold here and only had his jeans on..no shirt or shoes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2001 Report Share Posted March 5, 2001 In a message dated 3/5/2001 8:53:08 AM Eastern Standard Time, gboughton@... writes: > Sorry, , but I disagree. I had a conversation with my friend, , > last > night. Ok, we can agree to disagree I just want to make it clear that when we discuss mental retardation in the family, it's not done in a negative way. It's a fact of life, just like Tim has a bad back. I am also proud of for being with all the uniqueness has. As far as political correctness (no I dont' watch TV much)...I'm surprised there has never been a campaign by disability advocates to wear buttons that says PFL or something to grab someones attention. I'm sure many of us would wear them! I do have a major brag tonight. went up to Snoop and said " Snoop, got to go pee? " That is a 5 word sentence!! Tim and I laughed because not only did he say this clear as a bell, but he also signed pee. Is he trying to teach Snoop sign? LOL! Then he got the leash, TJ helped snap it on his collar and he headed to the door. Yikes..no one locked the door after left! Tim and I both bolted for the door to get Snoop. Snoop weights well over 100 lbs and I could just see him drag and then take off down the road. Never mind that it is freezing cold here and only had his jeans on..no shirt or shoes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2001 Report Share Posted March 5, 2001 I think that if the teacher doesnt 'clean up his act', then you should bring it to the adminstration. I think that many teachers in middle school want to connect with the students by trying to be cool and trying to relate to them by using offensive language. I am a teacher too, and I would not speak to my students like that or want my children spoken to like that by a teacher. Give him a chance- then go to the administration! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2001 Report Share Posted March 5, 2001 In a message dated 3/5/2001 8:53:08 AM Eastern Standard Time, gboughton@... writes: > Sorry, , but I disagree. I had a conversation with my friend, , > last > night. Ok, we can agree to disagree I just want to make it clear that when we discuss mental retardation in the family, it's not done in a negative way. It's a fact of life, just like Tim has a bad back. I am also proud of for being with all the uniqueness has. As far as political correctness (no I dont' watch TV much)...I'm surprised there has never been a campaign by disability advocates to wear buttons that says PFL or something to grab someones attention. I'm sure many of us would wear them! I do have a major brag tonight. went up to Snoop and said " Snoop, got to go pee? " That is a 5 word sentence!! Tim and I laughed because not only did he say this clear as a bell, but he also signed pee. Is he trying to teach Snoop sign? LOL! Then he got the leash, TJ helped snap it on his collar and he headed to the door. Yikes..no one locked the door after left! Tim and I both bolted for the door to get Snoop. Snoop weights well over 100 lbs and I could just see him drag and then take off down the road. Never mind that it is freezing cold here and only had his jeans on..no shirt or shoes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2001 Report Share Posted March 5, 2001 In a message dated 3/5/01 8:47:47 PM Eastern Standard Time, sjdodd@... writes: > its just so frustrating - and i'm not sure if its over. erick's case > manager > suggested that its an administrative issue and should be brought to the > I would now write a followup letter to the principal with a cc to the superintendent of the district. This is an administrative issue. In fact, I would take the next step--to the school board if I was not happy with the principal/superintendent response. nancy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 6, 2001 Report Share Posted March 6, 2001 I am a librarian in a middle school and get to see just about every teacher interact with his class at one time or another. I can tell you that most teachers have little respect for " colleagues " who communicate in this way; it tends to erode students' behavior in other classes, not to mention what it does to societal values. You are on the right track. Keep a written record of the conversation that transpired with the teacher. Then, tell to report to you if it happens again. (It probably will.) After that, you really should go to the school administration. You would be doing a service to the entire school community. Bev mom to Danny (9, DS); three daughters; three cats; and Opie, the Suaree stray wife to Hec ---------- From: sjdodd@... Subject: Re: offensive language Date: Monday, March 05, 2001 8:46 PM hi all - boy, can i relate to this topic! just the other day i placed a phone call to my 8th grade (nda) daughters teacher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 7, 2001 Report Share Posted March 7, 2001 Nope you were right to discuss these issues with him. He sounds like an ignorant jackass. (I am being less crass to spare others) I agree that if this continues or the man retaliates against your daughter, you should contact the administration. I sincerely hope that the school doesn't condone demeaning children in the classroom. I saw an episode on 7th Heaven about this very issue. The minister's wife went in and let the teacher have it (verbally of course). Elaine Re: offensive language > hi all - boy, can i relate to this topic! just the other day i placed a > phone call to my 8th grade (nda) daughters teacher. since the beginning of > school, he has been making rude and inappropriate comments, and they are > getting in the way of her learning. i thought it time to address them. > > i mentioned a few of the comments that my daughter found offensive and > troubling. one was: " oh, there really are retards in the 8th grade " , > another: " you're just gonna grow up to be a homosexual anyway " and a third: > " what are you, a wussy? " > > the teacher asked if i was *sure* that he said there really were retards in > the 8th grade in *her* class, " because michelle is in the smart class " - can > you believe it? he also went on to say that he knew not to say things like > that, that michelle was sensitive to that word because " she has a down > syndrome sibling " . normally i would not push for the politically correct > terminology, but i did say that yes, " she has a brother who does have down > syndrome. " he replied, " yes, that's what i said... " and i said, " well, not > quite, but anyway... " > > he said that he would " try " to be more politically correct, but that if he > had to curtail his way of teaching the kids and fooling around with them that > it would be a pretty boring class. i suggested that he could, like many of > the other teachers, have a good time in class and have alot of fun with the > kids without degrading them and making fun of them. > > i also stressed that this was not about being politically correct. and it > was not about michelle's sensitivity level. it was about right and wrong. i > asked if he would use the " n " word in his class and expect that the black > students not be " so sensitive " to it? > > the purpose of the phone call was to eliminate the issues that were getting > in the way of my daughters learning. clearly, this man does not see that > anything he is doing is in any way incorrect. he just kept digging himself > in deeper and deeper. > > he even was annoyed that michelle herself did not approach him about it. can > you imagine any 13 year old being brave enough to confront her teacher - one > that she despises?? i told him he was expecting an awful lot, that it took > me a long enough time to call, and that i was not particularly thrilled with > the outcome of the conversation. > > i said that calling a child a " wussy " was not particularly encouraging or > any way to boost a childs self esteem and that perhaps it goes in direct > conflict with the health class objectives to ensure that all students feel > good about themselves and others. imagine if all the teachers called this > child a wussy? imagine if this other child was homosexual? > > its just so frustrating - and i'm not sure if its over. erick's case manager > suggested that its an administrative issue and should be brought to the > administratives attention. > > is it just me?? > > sandy > mom to erick (almost 6, ds) and his 2 big sisters > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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