What's Important in a Relationship

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A Free-Reprint Article Written by: Kern

Article Title:

What's Important in a Relationship

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Article Description:

Unless you know what your partner really wants from you,

then you have very little chance in hell to have a

fulfilling relationship. Find our today exactly what your

partner wants from you.

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644 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line

Distribution Date and Time: 2010-01-14 12:45:00

Written By: Kern

Copyright: 2010

Contact Email: mailto:jameskern@...

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What's Important in a Relationship

Copyright © 2010 Kern

Back Together Forever

http://www.backtogetherforever.com/

Sometimes, being in a love relationship is so scary that we'll

destroy it just to get out.

What? Destroy your own relationship? You worked so hard to get

it! That doesn't make sense.... or does it?

On the surface, you think that being in love is the greatest

thing since sliced bread, but underneath you're flailing and

kicking and trying to get back to the status quo, which is you

being alone and miserable. It sucks, but you're used to life

there. If Alone and Miserable were a bar, everybody there would

know your name.

Did you know that this self-destruction business is coded into

your DNA? Yep, you're hard-wired to do this stuff. (What's up

with that?) We have a flight or fight instinct. Back in the day,

it was what made you either beat up the caveman who stole your

cavewoman or run away because he was wearing saber-toothed tiger

furs, which meant he was obviously more aggressive than you were.

Nowadays, when things get too emotionally difficult, our fight or

flight response is triggered and we start doing crazy things like

stalking your lover's house at 2am to see if there's a strange

car in the driveway or hacking into their email to see whom

they've been chatting with.

But there's a light at the end of this tunnel! You're not stuck

at the Alone and Miserable bar forever. In fact, once you become

aware of the things you're doing to sabotage your relationships,

you can work toward stopping those behaviors and saying goodbye

to Alone and Miserable and hello to Happy and Attached.

What Are You Afraid Of In This Relationship?

Find your fears. Do you have any deep-seated beliefs about love

relationships that have influenced how you view this one?

Do you love yourself? Are your fears based on current facts or

speculations based on horrible past relationships? Are you

engaging in " Worst Case Scenario " thinking? What usually

motivates you to start acting crazy and doing self-destructive

things? Do you feel better after doing them or worse? (Most

likely, you feel worse and have only exacerbated the problem!

Does that tell you anything?)

Look Inside

Are you causing the problems in your relationship? It's a tough

question. A lot of people have problems admitting when they are

the one in the wrong.

Think about the bad experiences you had in your relationship. Did

they all start after you triggered them?

For example, did you always fight when you were drunk? Did

arguments start up because you wanted to wake her for sex at 3am

when she had to be at work by 7? Do you throw a fit when he

forgets to take out the garbage?

Ouch. Maybe you are the problem.

It doesn't make you a horrible person. (Okay, it might, but even

horrible people can learn from their mistakes and become better!)

Remember that humans are very easily conditioned to behave in

certain ways based on their past experiences. (If you remember

back to Psychology class, there was that guy Pavlov who

conditioned dogs to drool at the sound of a bell. It's the same

for you except you've conditioned yourself to freak out and get

super possessive whenever you're in love. Personally, I'd

rather drool.)

You can totally re-condition yourself to avoid these relationship

destruction tendencies! It will take a while and it will take

being 100% honest with yourself, but it's do-able.

The key is to focus on the moment. Do not project thoughts into

the future or drag up memories of the past. Live in the right

now.

It might be time to seek help so you can work out your emotions

with someone who has helped others through similar problems. It

may seem like an impossible dream, but if you fix yourself, you

could very well salvage a relationship you thought was doomed.

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Written by Kern. In his video series, he

goes through 7 super-ninja ways to open up the

lines of communication to get your ex back. Visit

http://www.backtogetherforever.com/ to get your free

" Magnetic Communication CD " posted out to you today.