Stop Stressing - Stressors and Themes

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Stop Stressing - Stressors and Themes

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One of the most important ways to identify stressors and

their role is to figure out their theme. A theme is a sort

of thread that ties seemingly different elements into the

same whole. What seems like many problems is actually just

one related, overall problem. Once we know our major stress

themes, we can begin taking more appropriate big-picture

steps along with smaller ones.

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Distribution Date and Time: 2010-09-07 10:00:00

Written By: Larry Tobin

Copyright: 2010

Contact Email: mailto:larry.tobin@...

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Stop Stressing - Stressors and Themes

Copyright © 2010 Larry Tobin

Habit Changer

http://www.HabitChanger.com/

We've talked about stress and the elements that bring it into

our lives, or stressors. Identifying our stressors can be a

powerful first step, for obvious reasons - if we know what's

giving us grief, we can take steps to put it out of our way,

resolve it or come to terms with it. Even in the cases where we

can't totally remove a stressor, such as a confrontational

coworker, we can find ways to moderate its influence. In the case

of such a coworker, for instance, we might find time to talk

things out with them and ask them to ease up, or identify

something that's bothering them and help reduce it in hopes that

they become more amenable.

One of the most important ways to identify stressors and their

role is to figure out their theme. A theme is a sort of thread

that ties seemingly different elements into the same whole. What

seems like many problems is actually just one related, overall

problem. Once we know our major stress themes, we can begin

taking more appropriate big-picture steps along with smaller

ones.

Getting Started

If you've been keeping up with your stress log, there's good

news: You've already started identifying your stressors!

Remember that we asked you to note down everything, no matter how

trivial, that was causing you stress. Record keeping is an

important step, because it allows you to see the picture both in

terms of raw information and in terms of time elapsed. Now that

you have a week or more of information in your log, it's time to

start arranging it by theme. The following themes are in no

particular order of importance, as each has an impact on you.

Theme 1 - Time

For this theme, look at the various stressors and see what the

times involved with them are. Which ones persisted over the whole

week, day after day? Which ones popped up at random but didn't

last very long?

Long-term stressors are those that don't change: good examples

include a major project at work that requires a good deal of your

attention and trouble with your car or money issues that make it

hard to get important things done. Short-term stressors are those

that arise and are dealt with, but still interrupt things even if

they're only around for a day or two.

Theme 2 - People

It's a fact that most of the stress in our lives comes from

other people. From the person who can't seem to get things done

and comes to you for help to the driver who cut you off and

nearly caused a wreck to get through a red light, people

introduce a random element to our lives that can make coping

something similar to a demanding ballet performance.

So, as your next theme, mark down your stressors as related to

the people that introduced them. This will allow you to see if

any particular names keep popping up. Remember to include the

most minor elements too - even if you want to be generous-minded,

you're trying to make a realistic assessment with the log, so

don't exclude someone just because you want to be nice. Even if

they a legitimate reason for introducing stress to your life,

it's still stress and you need to be honest about it.

Theme 3 - Places

Humans are an associative species. We don't realize it all the

time, but we often relate our feelings to our location. If we're

always arguing at home, we feel unconsciously uncomfortable when

we're home even if an argument isn't immediately going on. If

we got sick eating a certain food, being around that food again

might make us feel sick even if there's nothing wrong with it

this time.

So, write down the places associated with each stressor you come

across. See if any major consistencies arise about where your

worst stressors seem to be.

Theme 4 - Intensity

How much did a stressor bother you? Did it just annoy you for a

few moments, or did it induce an outright panic attack because it

was so important and seemed to come out of nowhere? Was your

reaction somewhere in between these extremes, or do you tend to

go toward the far ends of reaction immediately?

Knowing how much an event affected you is important. Dealing with

stress can be done multiple ways; some people like to tackle all

the small problems and get them out of the way, others want to

dismantle their biggest grievance so they have the energy to

handle the rest of the problems that come up during the day.

Devise a 1-5 scale of your choosing, and rank your stressors on

it accordingly.

Finally, Analyze

Having put all the information into one of these four themes, sit

down at the same time each week to go over the information

you've gathered. Making it an appointment is crucial to turning

this into a habit rather than forcing it to fit into your life.

Compare two themes at a time, to start. Do certain people seem to

inflict longer-term stressors on you? Do your most intense

stressors seem to happen at work, or at home? Compare them in any

combination you wish, and you'll begin to see the patterns

emerge. This use of themes will help you identify where the most

action is needed, so that you can begin taking steps without

feeling lost.

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Larry Tobin is the co-creator of

http://www.HabitChanger.com/ offering effective

and empowering solutions for stopping stress.

Try our 42-day program that will help you learn

proactive habits to beat stress and keep

you moving forward in the right direction.

http://www.habitchanger.com/stopstressing