Stop Stressing - Finding Choices

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Article Title:

Stop Stressing - Finding Choices

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It's hard to make a good choice instead of a bad one. It

can be even harder to go back and undo a bad choice that we

made some time ago. Instead, many times we stubbornly

reinforce it again and again, letting it build up over time

to continue burying us in worry, regret and stress. If we

genuinely want to build lifelong habits that will benefit us

and reduce the amount of stress in our lives, we have to

look seriously at every aspect of those lives and improve

them.

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932 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line

Distribution Date and Time: 2010-08-24 10:15:00

Written By: Larry Tobin

Copyright: 2010

Contact Email: mailto:larry.tobin@...

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Stop Stressing - Finding Choices

Copyright © 2010 Larry Tobin

Habit Changer

http://www.HabitChanger.com/

It's hard to make a good choice instead of a bad one. It can be

even harder to go back and undo a bad choice that we made some

time ago. Instead, many times we stubbornly reinforce it again

and again, letting it build up over time to continue burying us

in worry, regret and stress.

Now is the time to think differently about all that and allow

ourselves to re-evaluate everything we had understood as fact.

This is not an easy process, but if we genuinely want to build

lifelong habits that will benefit us and reduce the amount of

stress in our lives, we have to look seriously at every aspect of

those lives and improve them. Nothing can be left unexamined,

because everything we are and everything we do affects us.

Step 1 - Question Everything

Nothing is off limits when considering how we want things to

improve. Every decision we've made has affected our lives in

some way.

We have gotten used to assuming that some things are beyond

questioning. Perhaps we feel we made the decision so long ago

that it's silly to dig it back up now. They might be too

ingrained; we're so used to living this way and making this

choice that we don't know how we'd do things differently. They

might seem too big; how can we ever go about even getting started

approaching something like that, let alone changing it?

This attitude is poisonous to good habit making. It allows us to

defer mental responsibility, trapping us in a cycle that has left

us miserable and stressed out. It is time to break that cycle

wide open. Accept that nothing is off-limits to fair

consideration, and you'll have found the first step on the right

path.

As the first part of building this habit, every time you find

yourself trying to mentally change the subject from something you

think is off limits, use the STOP technique and halt your

thoughts, then make yourself consider the matter at hand.

Step 2 - Accept Responsibility

Often, we feel powerless about the things that have happened.

Yet, every step is a decision. Perhaps you are stuck in a job you

don't like. When was the last time you applied for another one?

When was the last time you updated your resume or CV and shopped

it around for offers?

Well, you might say, that isn't my choice. If I could choose,

I'd have another job, naturally. But the economy is uncertain

and the company's been loyal, and I don't feel that it'd be

prudent...

These are all understandable reasons, but they are reasons

you're using to make a choice. Regardless of how it might seem,

there is no one with a gun forcing you to stay at the job. You

can quit if you feel like it. The consequences might seem

undesirable, but that's just information, not something forcing

you or taking your choice away.

Every time you feel yourself starting to say you don't have a

choice, use the STOP method again. Take a few breaths, and then

make yourself consider the choices you made, and accept that you

have brought yourself to where you are. It isn't an indictment,

it's not a criticism, it's accepting the truth. The truth is

always the best foundation to end bad habits and build good ones.

Step 3 - Consider Choices

It can be frightening thinking about the alternatives to where we

are. Regardless of what might be out there for us to seek, what

we have now might be attractive all the same. Perhaps it's not

the best, but maybe it works. Sure, we might not make as much

money as we could elsewhere, but we make enough, right?

Again, this kind of thinking is trying to put off the matter that

needs serious attention. Yes, our circumstances might work in

some way now, but then why are we always so stressed? Why do we

find ourselves filled with worry and regret all the time? Is the

situation really so good if it's making us miserable?

Once you stop the mental deferment, it is time to consider your

choices in life. Start with the most outrageous, just as an

exercise tool. Sticking with the notion of a bad job, accept that

you can quit. If you want, you can write a letter giving the

required notice right this second. Don't think about the

implications or consequences; just accept the fact that you do

have the final choice in the matter, if you wish it.

Step 4 - Contextualize Choices

Now that you've reached the point of being able to accept your

responsibility for things and consider the possible choices you

have, it's time to refine the matter.

Perhaps quitting the job isn't the best idea right out of the

gate. It's nice to know you have the option, but does that

create a practical reality? Perhaps not. Instead, consider what

else you can do. Maybe instead of quitting, you want to volunteer

for extra training that will get you a manager bump. Or you could

update your resume after all and put it on a resume website, just

to see what responses you get. Or perhaps you could ask for a

bonus or raise, based on your performance.

Either way, you have a choice in the matter. Choose to confront

your situation honestly, and you will see the choices open up

wide before you. Only then can you begin making those choices

that will make your life better, one small and serious step at a

time.

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Larry Tobin is the co-creator of

http://www.HabitChanger.com/ offering effective

and empowering solutions for stopping stress.

Try our 42-day program that will help you learn

proactive habits to beat stress and keep

you moving forward in the right direction.

http://www.habitchanger.com/stopstressing