SOUTHERN GRANDMOTHER ON THE WITNESS STAND

March 9, 2008

Lawyers should never ask a southern granny a question if they do not

want to hear the truth.

In a trial being held in a small southern town, a prosecuting attorney

questioned his first witness; a grandmotherly elder woman. " Mrs.

, do you know me? " . She responded, " Why yes, I do know you Mr.

Desmond, I have known you since you were a young boy, and, truthfully,

you have been a huge disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your

wife and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.

You think you are a big-shot when you really don't even have the brains

to realize that you will never be anything more than a two-bit paper

pusher. Yes, I know you. "

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across

the room and asked, " Mrs. , do you know the defense attorney? "

She again replied, " Why, yes, I have known Mr. Christafaro since he was

a youngster, too. He is lazy, bigoted and has a bad drinking problem.

He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practise is

one of the worst in the state. Not to mention that he cheated on his

wife three times with three diffferent women and one of them was YOUR

wife. Yes, I know him, also. "

The defense attorney almost died right then and there!

At this point, the judge called both attorneys to the bench and said to

them in a deadly quiet voice, " If either of you idiots asks Mrs.

if she knows me, I will have you sent to the electric chair. "

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