secret

June 9, 2008

I thought I share this. I was injured after being attack by a adult

with mental retardation. I taught them how to simple job skills. He

ran his head into my back charged me from behind. blew out L--5 S-1

Disc. it has now been almost 10 years now my wife works fulltime I am

suppose to be a house dad I have been having the hardest time with

keeping up with doing what needed in my house. laundry cooking

etc..... I cant do it for some reason. It has stressed out my

marriage. My family needs me to be able to keep up and with my

injury I can't so that my secret. mike-group owner

June 9, 2008

Of course it is hard to keep up ...the injury must still hurt even though with

stimulator...also the depression with it...the pain just throws us right

off...its hard for people without pain to understand.

mike2boys <mike2boys@...> wrote: I thought I share this. I was

injured after being attack by a adult

with mental retardation. I taught them how to simple job skills. He

ran his head into my back charged me from behind. blew out L--5 S-1

Disc. it has now been almost 10 years now my wife works fulltime I am

suppose to be a house dad I have been having the hardest time with

keeping up with doing what needed in my house. laundry cooking

etc..... I cant do it for some reason. It has stressed out my

marriage. My family needs me to be able to keep up and with my

injury I can't so that my secret. mike-group owner

June 10, 2008

Hey Mike, don't put yourself down because you're in pain!!! Keeping up

with doing everything in a house is a big job and it never ends. Maybe

the fact that you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel is

bothering you, but constant pain will wear you out. Some days I am just

too tired and hurting to do much so I just quit! I know that if I go

ahead and try to cook, clean, etc. I will hurt more and be more crabby

than I am to begin with. Yes, your family needs you but you need them

too, they can help you and they should help you. When you're having a

bad day just pull out something to defrost for supper, don't cook! Let

the cleaning and dusting go, it will be there tomorrow. Washing clothes

is one of the hardest things for me, too much bending and lifting, so

ask for help!!!! Let someone else carry the laundry baskets for you!

You are only one person and you are in pain, they have to understand

that and help. Could you try sitting everyone down and talking about

this to your family? Let them know how you feel.

Mike, I have a daughter who has mild mental retardation so I understand

how your injury happened. Many of them don't realize how strong they

are and how much pain they can cause accidently. And some have problems

with anger management, they do have a disability and many don't have

mature understanding about how much pain they can cause.

I'm sorry, I'm new so I have to ask you, how much pain control do you

have? Maybe your doctor can help you get more relief than you are

getting now.

Know that I am so glad you started this group, you're doing a wonderful

job and have a great bunch of people here. I'm so thankful for the

advice and information I've recieved here. You started a good thing

here Mike, keep up the good work!

Thanks Mike

Ginny

-- In Stimulator , " mike2boys " <mike2boys@...> wrote:

>

> I thought I share this. I was injured after being attack by a adult

> with mental retardation. I taught them how to simple job skills. He

> ran his head into my back charged me from behind. blew out L--5 S-1

> Disc. it has now been almost 10 years now my wife works fulltime I am

> suppose to be a house dad I have been having the hardest time with

> keeping up with doing what needed in my house. laundry cooking

> etc..... I cant do it for some reason. It has stressed out my

> marriage. My family needs me to be able to keep up and with my

> injury I can't so that my secret. mike-group owner

>

June 10, 2008

>

> OF COURSE THERE IS A REASON THAT YOU HAVE TROUBLE DOING THE WASH

COOKING

> ETC...YOU HAVE CHROINC PAIN....DON'T BEAT YOUR SELF UP!!! I KNOW

IT IS SO

> DAMNED EASY TO DO....BUT WE WITH CHRONIC PAIN, NEED TO REALIZE

WHAT OUR PHYSICAL

> LIMITATIONS ARE...FURTHER MORE...IT MUST BE SO HARD TO THIS DAY,

EVEN THOUGH

> YOUR PATIENT PROBABLY DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT HE WAS DOING WOULD

EVER HURT YOU

> OR WAS BAD, BECAUSE OF THE BREAKAGE OF THE TRUST MADE BETWEEN THE

TWO OF YOU.

>

> I HAVE HAD RSD NOW FOR 25 YEARS....ALL THROUGOUT MY BODY NOW...I

WAS 13 WHEN

> I WAS FIRST DIAGNOSED WITH IT. I WAS A PITCHER ON THE MOUND, AND

GOT HIT IN

> MY KNEE CAP BY A LINE DRIVE BALL. THE BALL HIT MY LEG SO HARD, IT

WENT OFF

> MY KNEE AND THEN WENT OVER THE BATTING CAGE....FROM THE MOUND! IT

WAS ONE

> HELL OF AN IMPACT...I THOUGHT I WAS LUCKY SINCE THERE WAS NO BREAK

OR NO

> SURGERY NEEDED...BOY, WAS I WRONG!!

>

> I HAVE TRIED ALL MY LIFE TO LIVE A " NORMAL " LIFE....IT JUST ISN'T

THAT

> SIMPLE...AS YOU KNOW! BEFORE I NO LONGER COULD WORK , I WAS A

REGISTERED MEDICAL

> ASSISTANT. I LOVED MY JOB. I DREW BLOOD, GAVE ALL THE

INJECTIONS, DID ALL

> THE EKG'S, ALL ASSISTING IN MINOR SURGERIES AND SO MUCH MORE....I

LOVED

> IT...BUT I HAD TO TAKE MYSELF OUT OF THE FIELD SINCE I NO LONGER

COULD RUN AFTER

> PATIENTS...SO I TAUGHT MEDICAL ASSISTING. THIS GREW TO BE TOO

DEMANDING ALSO...

>

> BUT NOW...THERE IS JUST NO WAY I CAN DO ALL THAT...SOME DAYS THE

PAIN IS SO

> BAD, I CAN'T EVEN GET OUT OF BED...I HAVE TWO STIMS...ONE HELPED

ABOUT 14

> YEARS AGO...AND THIS ONE DOES ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING FOR ME.

>

> I LOOK AROUND THE HOUSE AND SEE ALL THE CRAP THAT NEEDS TO BE

DONE, AND I

> REALLY FEEL LIKE A FAILURE AS A WIFE AND A MOTHER....THEN I EITHER

SNAP MYSELF

> OUT OF IT....OR MY HUSBAND, WHO IS THE KINDEST AND MOST LOVING

MAN, TELLS ME

> TO STOP " SHOULDING ON MYSELF " HE TELLS ME IF YOU COULD DO IT...YOU

> WOULD....THAT IS WHAT A FAMILY IS FOR...TO HELP EACHOTHER...OUR

MARRIAGE IS A

> PARTNERSHIP...

>

> I HOPE THIS HELPS YOU. WHEN I READ YOUR POST AND FELT YOUR

FRUSTRATION, I

> JUST CRIED...I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE....BUT HANG IN...HEY MIKE...YOU

STARTED THIS

> SITE....AND I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN LOOKING

FOR A

> POSITIVE AND UPLIFTING SITE...WHICH YOU HAVE MADE!

>

> GOD BLESS YOU AND KNOW YOU AVE MANY, MANY SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS HERE

ON THIS

> SITE.

>

> GENTLE HUGS,

> KATHY

>

> **************Vote for your city's best dining and nightlife.

City's Best

> 2008. (http://citysbest.aol.com?ncid=aolacg00050000000102)

>

June 10, 2008

Mike,

I have found that even on the days when I am feeling really good that I must

pace myself or I will end up having one of those days. Pacing myself means

working for 20 minutes and then resting for 10. I don't know how old your sons

are but I'm sure that they are old enough to be doing some of the things that

you are now expecting of yourself. If they are age 3 or above they are capable

of clearing their dishes off the table, maybe just moving them to the counter

but at least enough to limit your need to take those extra steps. I raised 7

children (6 sons, 1 daughter) and by the age of 5 they each had their own

chores. They may not have completed those chores the way I would like them but

they were proud of the job they did and so I left it that way and would tell

them I was proud also but suggested ways that it could be done to be even

better. My children are all adults today and all have very well kept homes. I

think that some of my sons are more anal about a clean home than my daughter is.

I know that at least part of that comes from the fact that they learned at an

early age. I currently have an 18 y/o g'son living with me and last evening he

cooked dinner for both of us.

Because of my recent strokes I have informed all of my children that they only

job I am taking seriously for now is broadening my rear end. If this bothers

anybody they are welcome to do something about it.

I also run a support group for RSD and find that it fits in real well with my

job of seeing how wide I can get. You are doing a great job with your support

group and so although it is non-paying consider the house your 2nd job.

Dorothy

June 10, 2008

Hey I have RSD for 18years. I am 35yrs old, hurt my ankle at a high school

dance. I have had my stim for 12 years this month. Have gone through the

different generations of the stims over the year. I finally learned that I

couldn't do simple cleaning stuff around my house, so a cleaning lady comes in

weekly to do the things I can't do. It has taken so much stress off of me that

it is remarkable. Something that you migh think of. Hope this helps. Love the

site, have never responded before, but love the info I am finding out about.

June 10, 2008

>

> Hey I have RSD for 18years. I am 35yrs old, hurt my ankle at a high

school dance. I have had my stim for 12 years this month. Have gone

through the different generations of the stims over the year. I

finally learned that I couldn't do simple cleaning stuff around my

house, so a cleaning lady comes in weekly to do the things I can't do.

It has taken so much stress off of me that it is remarkable.

Something that you migh think of. Hope this helps. Love the site,

have never responded before, but love the info I am finding out about.

>

June 10, 2008

I know what you mean Mike I have been home for 2 1/2 years and it has

put a toll on my marriage. I am not suppose to vacuum or anything, But

my husband comes home and expect dinner to be done and I am just in too

much pain to do it, But I can't even get him to vacuum once a month. He

yells at me and says he can't do everything around the house and work.

And I lost it the other day and said but it was OK for me to do it when

I worked. And he finally got out the vacuum and did it. Now I am being

told that he can't do everything.You have it harder then me you have

kids it is just the two of us, i try to do things around the house like

dishes and laundy but after that I am exhausted and in so much pain in

need of a nap and then by that time he is home. And then I worry he is

going to get mad because I did not get everything done after his worked

all day or he will start complaining about money and how we are going

to have to file bankrupcy but I am not to worry it is not my fault. So

if it is not my fault why do you say it all the time. And he doesn't

even treat me like I am his wife anymore. He treats me like I am a

patient he has to take care of if you know what I mean. Just wanted to

let you know you are not alone. We all have our little secrets but my

saying is KEEP SMILING no one know whats going on behind that smile but

you......................LOL