Guest guest Posted February 5, 2004 Report Share Posted February 5, 2004 Hello All, Just to give you my insight having grown up with the condition and having a 14 yr old son with it. So I know how those of you with bleph feel and I also know the anguish a new mother feels thinking her child might not live a happy childhood free of bullying. For me growing up, I only remember once in grade school some boys teasing me (I was new to the school). But I was pretty tough and punched their lights out, and never had a problem with them again. Then in grade 7 & 8, there were some boys that snickered behind my back, at least it always felt that way (I think when you have bleph you always have it in the back of your mind, and if someone stares or points you automatically think it is at you). I really enjoyed high school and I had no problems what so ever. Through my school years we moved quite a bit which made it hard but I had lots of friends, and generally a normal childhood. Of course having bleph you have all sorts of insercurities but I think any " normal " teens do too. My only sadness I guess was not knowing anything about why I had this and not my siblings, who are blond haired, blue eyed beauties and I have brown hair, brown eyes. I also grew up having to tell people " I was just born with it " because my parents never told me anything else, I guess they didn't know either. As for my son....I always swore that because my parents moved around so much that we would not do that, so my son went to the same school from age 5 to 13 and only once had a problem at school. It was in about grade 5, I went immediately to the teacher to address the problem, and she took the kids involved and explained the situation to them, also made them each write a letter of apology to my son. At first I thought that would make matters worse, but it was great to read them....because my son was laughing along with them, it never occured to these kids that they were really hurting him. We never had a problem after that, and he has lots of friends and plays hockey (he is Assistant Captain of his team). I feel he must be well adjusted because we did finally move to my husbands northern home town last summer (on my son's urging, to be able to swim, fish, etc), and my son has made new friends without incident and because of this group I have made a point of asking if these small town kids, who do not see many minorities even, have said anything about his eyes, and without hesitation he said " No, never " . So to you parents, who are new to bleph, yes there will always be rude strangers who stare...but like my friends and family say, they don't even notice anything (I guess they are so used to seeing it). I have been married for almost 18 years, and I even sometimes get really annoyed with my husband, because he just doesn't see what the big deal is...he thinks of us as " normal " . But just make sure you talk to your kids about it, and know that your kids will probably be fine...it is not so bad...it could be so much worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 5, 2004 Report Share Posted February 5, 2004 HEY THERE ANOTHER ANNA IN HERE? Am pleased to know another ! Where are you located ? I didnt write this and have no children etc........just to clairify for those who may not realize this. ANNA MARTINSON OF WASHINGTON STATE USA (am not katigraw) katigraw <agrawbarger@...> wrote: Hello All,Just to give you my insight having grown up with the condition and having a 14 yr old son with it. So I know how those of you with bleph feel and I also know the anguish a new mother feels thinking her child might not live a happy childhood free of bullying.For me growing up, I only remember once in grade school some boys teasing me (I was new to the school). But I was pretty tough and punched their lights out, and never had a problem with them again. Then in grade 7 & 8, there were some boys that snickered behind my back, at least it always felt that way (I think when you have bleph you always have it in the back of your mind, and if someone stares or points you automatically think it is at you). I really enjoyed high school and I had no problems what so ever. Through my school years we moved quite a bit which made it hard but I had lots of friends, and generally a normal childhood. Of course having bleph you have all sorts of insercurities but I think any "normal" teens do too. My only sadness I guess was not knowing anything about why I had this and not my siblings, who are blond haired, blue eyed beauties and I have brown hair, brown eyes. I also grew up having to tell people "I was just born with it" because my parents never told me anything else, I guess they didn't know either.As for my son....I always swore that because my parents moved around so much that we would not do that, so my son went to the same school from age 5 to 13 and only once had a problem at school. It was in about grade 5, I went immediately to the teacher to address the problem, and she took the kids involved and explained the situation to them, also made them each write a letter of apology to my son. At first I thought that would make matters worse, but it was great to read them....because my son was laughing along with them, it never occured to these kids that they were really hurting him. We never had a problem after that, and he has lots of friends and plays hockey (he is Assistant Captain of his team). I feel he must be well adjusted because we did finally move to my husbands northern home town last summer (on my son's urging, to be able to swim, fish, etc), and my son has made new friends without incident and because of this group I have made a point of asking if these small town kids, who do not see many minorities even, have said anything about his eyes, and without hesitation he said "No, never".So to you parents, who are new to bleph, yes there will always be rude strangers who stare...but like my friends and family say, they don't even notice anything (I guess they are so used to seeing it). I have been married for almost 18 years, and I even sometimes get really annoyed with my husband, because he just doesn't see what the big deal is...he thinks of us as "normal". But just make sure you talk to your kids about it, and know that your kids will probably be fine...it is not so bad...it could be so much worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 5, 2004 Report Share Posted February 5, 2004 Hi , I was born in Helsinki Finland but moved to Toronto Canada when I was 6. I lived there until I moved up about 4 hours north last July. The other Hello All, > > Just to give you my insight having grown up with the condition and > having a 14 yr old son with it. So I know how those of you with > bleph feel and I also know the anguish a new mother feels thinking > her child might not live a happy childhood free of bullying. > > For me growing up, I only remember once in grade school some boys > teasing me (I was new to the school). But I was pretty tough and > punched their lights out, and never had a problem with them again. > Then in grade 7 & 8, there were some boys that snickered behind my > back, at least it always felt that way (I think when you have bleph > you always have it in the back of your mind, and if someone stares > or points you automatically think it is at you). I really enjoyed > high school and I had no problems what so ever. Through my school > years we moved quite a bit which made it hard but I had lots of > friends, and generally a normal childhood. Of course having bleph > you have all sorts of insercurities but I think any " normal " teens > do too. My only sadness I guess was not knowing anything about why > I had this and not my siblings, who are blond haired, blue eyed > beauties and I have brown hair, brown eyes. I also grew up having > to tell people " I was just born with it " because my parents never > told me anything else, I guess they didn't know either. > > As for my son....I always swore that because my parents moved around > so much that we would not do that, so my son went to the same school > from age 5 to 13 and only once had a problem at school. It was in > about grade 5, I went immediately to the teacher to address the > problem, and she took the kids involved and explained the situation > to them, also made them each write a letter of apology to my son. > At first I thought that would make matters worse, but it was great > to read them....because my son was laughing along with them, it > never occured to these kids that they were really hurting him. We > never had a problem after that, and he has lots of friends and plays > hockey (he is Assistant Captain of his team). I feel he must be > well adjusted because we did finally move to my husbands northern > home town last summer (on my son's urging, to be able to swim, fish, > etc), and my son has made new friends without incident and because > of this group I have made a point of asking if these small town > kids, who do not see many minorities even, have said anything about > his eyes, and without hesitation he said " No, never " . > > So to you parents, who are new to bleph, yes there will always be > rude strangers who stare...but like my friends and family say, they > don't even notice anything (I guess they are so used to seeing it). > I have been married for almost 18 years, and I even sometimes get > really annoyed with my husband, because he just doesn't see what the > big deal is...he thinks of us as " normal " . But just make sure you > talk to your kids about it, and know that your kids will probably be > fine...it is not so bad...it could be so much worse. > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 5, 2004 Report Share Posted February 5, 2004 HI ANNA now thats fun to type! OK your north of me then in Canada. Nice to meet you! son of Washington State katigraw <agrawbarger@...> wrote: Hi ,I was born in Helsinki Finland but moved to Toronto Canada when I was 6. I lived there until I moved up about 4 hours north last July.The other Hello All,> > Just to give you my insight having grown up with the condition and > having a 14 yr old son with it. So I know how those of you with > bleph feel and I also know the anguish a new mother feels thinking > her child might not live a happy childhood free of bullying.> > For me growing up, I only remember once in grade school some boys > teasing me (I was new to the school). But I was pretty tough and > punched their lights out, and never had a problem with them again. > Then in grade 7 & 8, there were some boys that snickered behind my > back, at least it always felt that way (I think when you have bleph > you always have it in the back of your mind, and if someone stares > or points you automatically think it is at you). I really enjoyed > high school and I had no problems what so ever. Through my school > years we moved quite a bit which made it hard but I had lots of > friends, and generally a normal childhood. Of course having bleph > you have all sorts of insercurities but I think any "normal" teens > do too. My only sadness I guess was not knowing anything about why > I had this and not my siblings, who are blond haired, blue eyed > beauties and I have brown hair, brown eyes. I also grew up having > to tell people "I was just born with it" because my parents never > told me anything else, I guess they didn't know either.> > As for my son....I always swore that because my parents moved around > so much that we would not do that, so my son went to the same school > from age 5 to 13 and only once had a problem at school. It was in > about grade 5, I went immediately to the teacher to address the > problem, and she took the kids involved and explained the situation > to them, also made them each write a letter of apology to my son. > At first I thought that would make matters worse, but it was great > to read them....because my son was laughing along with them, it > never occured to these kids that they were really hurting him. We > never had a problem after that, and he has lots of friends and plays > hockey (he is Assistant Captain of his team). I feel he must be > well adjusted because we did finally move to my husbands northern > home town last summer (on my son's urging, to be able to swim, fish, > etc), and my son has made new friends without incident and because > of this group I have made a point of asking if these small town > kids, who do not see many minorities even, have said anything about > his eyes, and without hesitation he said "No, never".> > So to you parents, who are new to bleph, yes there will always be > rude strangers who stare...but like my friends and family say, they > don't even notice anything (I guess they are so used to seeing it). > I have been married for almost 18 years, and I even sometimes get > really annoyed with my husband, because he just doesn't see what the > big deal is...he thinks of us as "normal". But just make sure you > talk to your kids about it, and know that your kids will probably be > fine...it is not so bad...it could be so much worse.> > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 26, 2005 Report Share Posted April 26, 2005 This is a British based website, but some helpful suggestions on how to handle bullying. http://www.bullying.co.uk/index.html Monte Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 Hello Liz, Asking questions is one thing----physical abuse of another person is something totally different!! I don't know if you read it or not but my son was strangled in school by another student and this type of treatment I just will not tolerate. I understand going forth with everything you must do to enable the happiness you deserve--we all need to remember to take time to be happy in our lives. Life is a mere test for somthing bigger. Heidi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 Dear Dawn, Thank you so much for your wonderful support it is very helpful. First I understand completely what you are saying whether you have a physical disability or not---people who have been bullied definitely suffer psychological damage that is permanent and will take years to undue. I am given Seth his space and time to heal. He may not even realize himself what he has psychologically gone through. However, we will perservere through a lot of determination and hard work. He is already happier of making his own choice in leaving a situation that was not doing well for his emotional well-being. Thinking of bullying, etc. Recently I saw a clip on the news about a girl that was going around with a needle stabbing/puncturing other students---now all these students have to be tested and have a possible chance of having HIV. So how can we keep our children safe? Thanks again, Heidi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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