How to Create Your Own Pandemic!

[Guest guest]

Sorry, sarcasm is kicking in today..... (Due however to the REAL economic woes,

I'll keep the commentary to thyself, perhaps when things kick back up will I

come back to this).  Merry Christmas to all nonetheless.

 

 

http://www.naturalnews.com/024252.html

 

(NaturalNews) Just prior to Rumsfeld becoming our Secretary of Defense,

he was the Chairman of the Board of Gilead Sciences, the company that created

Tamiflu. Rumsfeld and his associates seem to be as (in)effective in fighting

viruses as they are fighting terrorists, but this doesn’t stop them from making

a buck or two (or more).

In fact, according to Marcia Angell, MD, (the former editor of the New England

Journal of Medicine), the top 10 drug manufacturers in the Fortune 500 made more

profit in 2002 than the remaining 490 companies combined. The medical industrial

complex can whip the military industrial complex's ass.

The “good” news about Tamiflu is that research shows that it will reduce a

person’s symptoms of the flu by one day (isn’t that worth the $1 billion that

President Bush proposed in his 2006 State of the Union address?). The fact that

there is no evidence that Tamiflu will cure the “bird flu” or even reduce its

symptoms in a significant way seems to be a perfect fit for what might be the

“Bush Doctrine.”

The diagnosis and prognosis of a “Western medical disease” (what might be called

a “WMD”) seems to be based on faulty medical intelligence or simply, selective

medical intelligence.

Tamiflu does have a tendency to cause various side-effects, but side-effects

(and collateral damage) are simply the price that we have to pay for health (or

war). Some of the side effects from Tamiflu include suicide -- but only if

you're a child; delirium -- but heck, if you're delirious, you won't even know

it; convulsions -- but you might learn some new dance steps; hepatitis and liver

disease, but maybe it's good " exercise " for the liver; asthma and allergy

symptoms -- it is so good for you that it takes your breathe away!

Sadly and predictably, using Tamiflu for treating the common flu will tend to

increase the chances of creating super-viruses that will become immune to

anti-viral drugs. It is almost as though this drug has the capacity to create

thousands (or millions) of “terrorist cells” that could threaten the body (and

the body politic).

It is no surprise that former Secretary of State Schultz is another

member on the Board of Directors of Gilead Sciences, and some business analysts

have asserted that no other drug company has such a cozy relationship with the

Bush Administration as this company (now, give me that look of " big surprise! " ).

So... do not miss the boat. Create your own infectious disease pandemic and

media scare! Just fill out the below questionnaire, and you can create the next

disease that will be feared by all; you might even get a chance to name this

disease -- or better, get it named after you! And if you are really smart,

you'll pre-invest into the drug company that will successfully be able to treat

one or two symptoms of the disease, even though some people may die from the

drug's side effects.

And by the way, whether the bird flu ever becomes a reality or not (or whether

your disease ever becomes a reality or not), you can claim with confidence that

it was your concerns that helped prevent the pandemic. You win either way!

Pick an animal and a virulent sounding infectious agent for your new pandemic:

a) cow prions

tortoise bacteria

c) duck virus

d) swine fungus

e) mosquito parasite

f) gerbil worm

g) fruit bat turds

Choose an infection method:

a) you touched or petted an infected animal

you eat meat or ate something that the infected animal once touched

c) you tied your shoes, but the laces had touched the ground in which the

diseased animal walked

d) you had unprotected sex with nurses

e) you had unprotected sex with gerbils

Choose a part of the animal that is particularly diseased

a) cow brains

tortoise feet

c) pig fat

d) duck liver

e) dog tongues

f) bat blood

How do your victims die?

a) Dehydration from chronic urination

Eyes protrude out of their sockets with profuse bleeding

c) Head explosion

d) Throat constriction

e) Skin melting

Speed of disease:

a) Slow, agonizing deaths with a protruding tongue

Slow and gentle progression into the night (with poetic dreams)

c) Rapid progression of the disease with fear and loathing

d) Rapid progression of the disease with mental confusion and other stuff

(you'll hardly even know that you're sick!)

Choose a tragic, innocent first carrier:

a) Pregnant women

Katey Couric

c) Kittens

d) Virgins

e) Paris Hilton

Construct a worst-case scenario with a positive spin on it:

a) Disease creates fear about any type of exchanging bodily fluids, making

" Become a master of your own domain " the new public health slogan.

Disease shrivels breasts, creating depression for men and women, but makes a

bundle for plastic surgeons.

c) Disease only kills the 1st born... but because new research has confirmed

that terrorists are primarily 1st born children (they have early training on

their younger siblings), terrorism disappears.

d) Disease smites the God-fearing people; many learn to love God.

The Magic Bullet (with minor side effect):

a) Anti-viral (grows hair on your palms)

Anti-fungal (reduces athletes foot too but creates web feet)

c) Anti-worm (creates acidic urine that kills earthworms in soils, destroying

ability to compost food, but gives companies that manufacture fertilizers a

major boost)

d) A herb (causes garlic breath)

e) A homeopathic medicine (doctors assert that it was an MD who discovered

homeopathy in the first place, so they insist that they invented it)

Congratulations! You've just created:

a) A pandemic of fear and damnation

A pandemic of vaccine-related diseases

c) A pandemic of new drug sales for a disease that doesn't exist yet but that

could occur at any time

d) A pandemic of cosmic and comic proportions

Now, you have to give this new disease a good name. Match your animal and its

body part to one of the following:

Pox

Bubonic

Ebola

Wasting disease

Blood

Plague

Immunodeficiency

Auto-immune disorder

Immuno-confused

Iatrogenic

Idiopathic

Potential Names:

a) cow prions pox

duck virus plague

c) duck virus wasting disease

d) fruit bat auto-immune disorder

To add fuel to the fire, make certain to announce that there are presently

inadequate amounts of the drug you need for treatment. This is very important

because it gives people the real sense that they are being left out... and that

they must have this drug (whether it works or not... and whether the disease is

real or not!).

And Now, the best part: You can create your own vaccine for this theoretical

Disease.

Please know that you do not have to prove that your vaccine works. For instance,

according to The Lancet (October 1, 2005), a systematic review of all previous

studies testing vaccines for influenza to elderly populations has not shown that

they are effective in preventing this disease. Another important study in The

Lancet (February 26, 2005) analyzed every study published in any language, and

they could not find a single study that showed a flu vaccine led to the

reduction in mortality or serious complications from the flu in children.

Tom Jefferson, MD (ya gotta love that name!), the author of the above two

studies in The Lancet, asserts, " What you see every year as the flu is caused by

200 or 300 different agents with a vaccine against two of them. That is simply

nonsense. " (NOTE: Dr. Jefferson has acknowledged that the abstracts to his

articles may provide some confusing information. For more accurate information

about the study, please read the study itself, and/or read this article in which

Dr. Jefferson was interviewed.

Don't just sit there... call the media now!