Forays into the twilight zone

[Guest guest]

Forays into the twilight zone

The Statesman 12th February, 2002-New Delhi

Most People acknowledge that teenagers are a confused lot. They are entitled to

their blues and need space to stretch their wings. But what about the young

adults of today? How much do they know of their bodies and of their worlds? Have

they resolved their conflicts and settled down into mature adulthood? Are they

responsible citizens?

An analysis of the telephone calls received by a city-based counselling centre

for teenagers and young adults reveals that the largest group of 18-25 years.

The pattern of calls indicate that the youth of today are confused and clueless

about their body and mind, about balancing the expectations of society with

their own desires, responding to emotions and what exercising responsibility

means.

Is Ignorance bliss? Ignorance about reproductive health and sexual behaviour is

very common among today's youth. This can be traced to the usual exclusion of

such lessons from the school curriculum and embarrassment on the part of parents

to talk about delicate issues. Says Anish, a 19-year old: " Young people are

generally very curious to know how their body functions sexually and what its

implications are. But since sex education is denied to them most of the time

during adolescence, they step into adulthood with a desire to try out sex as a

new sport or develop a peculiar obsessive sexual curiosity.

The dangers of casual sex or sex with multiple partners are many. But most young

men and women don't have a clue as to how indiscriminate sexual activity can

lead to HIV and other STDs. Apart from ignorance, many harbour bizarre and

totally baseless preconceptions. One caller at Askline was convinced that his

habitual sexual thoughts had infected him with sexually transmitted diseases.

Most young people know of pregnancy but not the physical and mental trauma that

abortion entails. One instance of people treating sex as a fun game and courting

trouble is that of a girl who called up the helpling minutes after having sex,

giggling and totally unaware of the implications of her boy-friend having used a

plastic packet as a condom.

Curiosity killed the cat, or did it? The almost universal guilt surrounding

masturbation can perhaps be traced to its strong condemnation by powerful social

and religious institutions. Callers report having been forbidden to masturbate

by fathers, uncles, headmasters, religious gurus and even doctors, because it

supposedly leads to sexual impotency, affects eyesight, causes STDs and what

not! Why is such a simple and safe practice viewed as something totally dark,

negative and unhealthy? Additionally, people growing up with this guilt complex

later experience anxiety of performance in their marital lives and also

perpetuate this distorted vision in their marital lives and also perpetuate this

distorted vision in their younger generations. At the extreme, obsessive

curiosity about sex can take the form of addiction to pornography, compulsive

fantasising and masturbation, leading to a total breakdown of a sense of balance

in life.

Responsibility and basic instinct Another controversial issue which needs to be

addressed is that can young adults engaging in sexual relations after being

" seduced " by older and more experienced people, be considered as " consenting "

adults? Or is it more a case of abuse? For instance, a 19-year-old male called

up the helpling, saying that an older female tuition teacher was trying to

seduce him and was it okay to have sex with her? People at such a young age

usually retain a strong intrinsic sense of good and bad. This person, hovering

on the brink of two worlds, was caught in a serious moral trial, and was

carrying about a heavy emotional weight. Had he been counselled about sex at a

proper age, he might have been aware of the risks and taken the right decision.

Society needs to recognise that sex being an intrinsic part of human nature,

must be given the recognition and respect it deserves. If not, young people grow

up without a basic part of themselves being acknowledged, which leaves them with

a deep insecurity regarding their sexual identities. From there they go on to

assert themselves sexually in thoroughly unwholesome ways. Most young people

agree that sex-education should be imparted from 16 years or so, preferably in

school by external and objective counsellors. A young person confided that apart

from satisfying curiosity and teaching responsibility, sex-education is

important to win the acceptance of peers, who otherwise scoff at you and treat

you with condescension. Rajat, a 21-year old, feels that knowing about sex does

not necessarily push one to consider having sex, as most parents would have it.

Instead, being aware gives one the power to say " no " .

Thoughtshop Foundation, a city-based NGO, has been running Askline, a helpling

for young adults for the last two years. So if you have any confusion regarding

relationships, any queries about sex or HIV/AIDS, ring up 4176128 on weekdays

between 1 and 6 p.m. and speak to the counsellor. What is new about Askline is

that it has recently started peer-counselling sessions. A few enthusiastic young

people have been trained to help their friends become more aware, responsible

and safe.

Peer counsellors at Askling are very enthusiastic about the whole project.

Himalini Verma of Thoughtshop says, " Helping people out needs a certain amount

of maturity and a balanced head. We select these young people only after

determining whether they have the necessary aptitude and gauging their maturity

levels. " Sreya, one such young woman who has come forward to help out her

peer-group, adds: " There will always be people who call up just for fun and

irritate you with inane questions. But at the end of the day, the feeling of

having helped out a few really gives me a high. "

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Dr.Jagdish Harsh ( jharsh@... )

Director of Administration and Operations

François-Xavier Bagnoud (INDIA) ( www.fxb.org )

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