Is your child willing to try to talk?

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Please answer this parent direct at EJudson@...

My three year old has made great strides since he was diagnosed, however I am having a hard time getting him to practice with me at home. He seems to get very shy and will refuse to say the words that we are supposed to be practicing. Any suggestions? My speech therapist is beginning to think we do not work with himHelp please

(EJudson@...)

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What has always worked for us is to act like we were having fun "playing" with words or sounds or songs, while we were playing with toys, and not act like it mattered if Tanner joined along or not. I was once told that our apraxic children have "a long road to hoe" in front of them, so the last thing you want to do is "burn them out" at a young age. So three simple words for a three year old regarding therapy follow-through: "Keep It Fun!"

Here are a few examples of how we would get Tanner to participate.

1. While at a restaurant: pick up a napkin and hold it in front of your face so that your son can't see you. Say the sound "p" and the napkin will blow up where he can see your face. Then start laughing like it's the funniest thing and repeat it to someone else at the table, like your spouse, or other child. Not only did Tanner start trying to copy this, but our other son Dakota did as well.

2. Tanner was only saying about 20 simple words at 3, but when if you want to try what worked for us, when you want your child to try/say a word: try acting silly while YOU say it, or sing, or move your head while you say the word. Make it a game, like the game "my turn, your turn" except act like you want to go more. (child psych 101) I would say, "Wait, let me say that again, this is fun." Sometimes all of us got involved in this "game." My husband Glenn, or my other son Dakota would say, "No it's MY turn" Any attempt Tanner would make would be rewarded with clapping and cheering and comments like "That was great Tanner! Wow!" Again however, if Tanner didn't seem interested in "playing," we would act like it didn't matter if he repeated the word back or not. This worked so often with Tanner that he almost ALWAYS would try then, usually laughing. I noticed if I became animated, Tanner was MUCH more willing to try, even with his first SLP (when he was 2.4 to 2.8, before she finally diagnosed Tanner with apraxia. Tanner had severe oral as well as verbal apraxia, with every sign in the book, to bad she didn't know the signs of oral apraxia that can be diagnosed as early as 18 months!) Acting animated may have come easy for me because I work in the film animation / toy/children's industry, where acting silly is part of the job!

3. Tanner's current SLP is excellent with him, and incorporates toys as rewards in each session, something that is much needed as follow through at home. Check out past messages for the one on the "sound bites" lollipop holder sent out around Halloween.

4. When you get to two syllable / or two word attempts, use 2 blocks, or two trains, and emphasize the first while you hold the first object, and then move the second object to the first while you say the second sound/word.

5. Many of our apraxic children, Tanner included, have other "soft" neurological issues that you may not be aware of at 3 if a professional never pointed them out. These are conditions that also can be addressed with therapy, and can be overcome. This includes hypotonia / low tone (I call it the "Cherub baby" look) or Sensory Integration, where you child is not sensing things the way others do. This could include touch, hearing, etc. There is lots on the internet about it, but if your child has it, it's something to keep in mind during therapy, because certain therapy techniques may not work for this reason.

6. Many apraxic children benefit from Occupational Therapy, or moving activities while they are attempting speech. Even though some therapists treat just the face/mouth area, many others are aware that apraxia, a motor planning disorder, typically affects other parts of the body, including internal "invisible" things, like breath control. Also children with apraxia seem to talk better when they are not thinking much about it. For example while they are dancing, singing, playing, etc.

Apraxia is a very frustrating condition for us as parents, as well as for our children. I would just tell your therapist you are trying, but your child isn't, at home, and ask her for suggestions. It's hard to sometimes be patient with waiting for each small victory, but outside of professionals, I was told that us "lay people" shouldn't pressure our children to talk (Or "don't attempt this at home.") Pressure, if done wrong, will cause a child to wilt. Self esteem is so important, and building great esteems is something we can do as parents without a degree in speech. Even though therapy is intensive, as parents we can do the follow through as "intensive-fun!"

Hope that helps! Let me know.