Christmas news...

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

As I've written before in answer to 's post I'ld let you know what went

on here during the Christmas days...

Well, as you all probably know, I had my last dilatation one week before

Christmas eve. I immediately noticed it didn't work as well as the dilatations

usually do, but I thought I'ld be fine until at least Christmas. Well, I was

wrong, things went wrong. I had trouble swallowing all week and regurgitated

several times. During the Christmas dinner, at my sister-in-law's restaurant

where we had a buffet, I had some soup. I was quite thick soup, so I couldn't

eat anything else for about one hour (since the stomach is so small now). When I

finally could have something else, I swallowed I tiny piece of meat and things

closed and I had trouble talking etc. Of course my in-laws were at the table,

together with the parents and sister of my sis-in-law. They all were so

understanding. My brother-in-law emphasised once again how brave he thought I

always was, never complaining, but having such trouble during dinner etc. He

thought I wouldn't be strange to someday

see me get angry or crying over things. Sweet of him to say, but he doesn't

know the complaining I do here on the board, eh? No, honest, if he only knew how

I cried deep inside.

You all also probably know that I was on antibiotics for my mechanical infection

at the tube site. Well, Christmas eve an allergic reaction to these antibiotics

appeared. I stopped taking them. But at the Christmas dinner the itching and

skin irritation got very very bad. When we got home I immediately called the

doctor, who told me to stop taking those AB (which I already had stopped) and he

prescribed some meds against the allergic reaction. They immediately worked

after taking them.

I have to admit that I cried and cried when I was alone in the car and drove up

to the pharmacia to get those meds against the allergy. It simply was the drip

that made the bucket run over, as we say here (I believe you call it the last

straw).

I have lost several kg's these last few weeks. My own fault, I thought I could

try to use my tube less, so I could get rid of it sooner. I am now hooked onto

the thing every night again of course and I hook on every other day. Simply to

stay stabile where it comes to my weight issues. Eating doesn't go so well, so

you can imagine how few calories I manage to get in right now. Ah well, just one

more week untill they are going to cut the scar tissue away.

It was yet another Christmas where I had to hope and couldn't really enjoy, no

matter how hard I tried an no matter how hard I tried to let go of things and

not worry. Once again I didn't manage to keep my promise that things would be

better this year. Once again I had to promise myself again. Which I did, I

promised myself things WILL get better as of 2009, the treatment of January 7th

just has to work. If it doesn't the stent REALLY has to do the trick.

Sometimes it just is so damned hard and one wonders why things go the way they

do. I guess they just do...

Just 9 more nights, maybe the nightmare will then finally be over and done with.

I am so fed up with this crap.

Thanks for letting me ramble on here again.

Love,

Isabella