Hello, this is AT&T Calling...

[Guest guest]

" One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you, is

to sit down at the

dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I

decided, on one such

occasion, to try to be as irritating as they were to me. The call was from

AT & T and it went

something like this:

Me: Hello.

AT & T: Hello, this is AT & T...

Me: Is this AT & T?

AT & T: Yes, this is AT & T...

Me: This is AT & T?

AT & T: Yes. This is AT & T...

Me: Is this AT & T?

AT & T: YES! This is AT & T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please?

Me: May I ask who is calling?

AT & T: This is AT & T.

Me: OK, hold on.

At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that,

surely, this person would

have hung up the phone. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver,

they were still

waiting.

Me: Hello?

AT & T: Is this Mr. Byron?

Me: May I ask who is calling please?

AT & T: Yes, this is AT & T...

Me: Is this AT & T?

AT & T: Yes, this is AT & T...

Me: This is AT & T?

AT & T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron?

Me: Yes, is this AT & T?

AT & T: Yes, sir.

Me: The phone company?

AT & T: Yes, sir.

Me: I thought you said this was AT & T.

AT & T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.

Me: I already have a phone.

AT & T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron.

Me: Well, whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for calling.

When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express

yourself any plainer than

by saying, " I'm really not interested " , but this lady was persistent.

AT & T: Mr. Byron, we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a

day, 7 days a

week, 365 days a year.

Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a " rate " of 10 cents a minute but

she at no time used

the word rate. I could clearly see that it was time to whip out the trusty

old calculator and do a

little ciphering.

Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?

AT & T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir,

that's right! 24 hours a

day!

Me: 7 days a week?

AT & T: That's right.

Me: 365 days a year?

AT & T: Yes, sir.

Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!

AT & T: We think so!

Me: That's quite a sum of money!

AT & T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at

the end of the year

for the full $52,560, and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash

advance?

AT & T: Excuse me?

Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.

AT & T: What are you talking about?

Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week,

365 days a year.

That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just

interested in

knowing how you will be making payment.

AT & T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a

minute.

Me: Wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a minute.

Are you sure this is

AT & T?

AT & T: Well, yes, this is AT & T, sir, but......

Me: But nothing. How do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10

cents a minute that I'll

give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing

scheme? I've read

about things like this in the Enquirer, you know. Don't use your alien

brainwashing techniques on

me.

AT & T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for.....

Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!

AT & T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.

Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?

AT & T: What?

Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!

AT & T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.

So now AT & T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat

while I'm waiting

for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth

full of food:

Supervisor: Mr. Byron?

Me: Yeth?

Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a

minute program.

Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth?

Supervisor: Yes, sir, it sure is.

I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to

suppress my laughter and

I had to be careful not to produce a snort.

Me: No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I

could sign up for

the plan.

Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was

helping you.

Me: Thank you.

I was on hold once again and was getting really hungry. I needed to end this

conversation.

Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the

phone.

AT & T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up

for our plan?

Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have

enough friends and

I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...

AT & T: (click) "

Do you poison YOUR kids??? See this page!

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Kandy - Aspiring Midwife

Wife to a great man,

Mother of six,

Homeschooler/Home-birther

Love is the answer - Give in to God

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