Guest guest Posted March 8, 2012 Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 , The reality is scary, and probably its worse for our family. Using logic or reasons not to feel afraid is counter productive. The challenge is for us to be accepting of the mK hY mN hyMK I emotions, and be supportive and compassionate, and avoid attempts to fix it or make the fear go away. ------------------------------ On Thu, Mar 8, 2012 7:52 AM MST heroldkelly wrote: > So, I had a manometry test yesterday to help them determine what the next course of action is. After I vomited blood two weeks ago, my three scopes and one flouroscopy showed that the bottom of my esophagus is now stretched, a lot! I don't really know what they felt they might see with the manometry, but the technician told me that it was a very interesting test. She showed me how whenever I would swallow, my whole esophagus (or at least the part that actually does anything) would contract at once instead of laddering from top to bottom. > The fact that my esophagus is stretched so much in the bottom of it is what concerns me and my wife. My poor wife has only had the pleasure of knowing me much post myotomy, and all she ever had to deal with was me throwing up food that got stuck, not vomiting blood, possible surgery, etc. I am good with not knowing what's going to happen since I know we meet with the surgeon on Monday and he will surely have a plan in mind at that time. My question is how have other people helped their spouse, significant other, etc., through this unknown time period and how do you help them understand that something will be figured out, we just need to trust the doctors to come up with a plan. > I think the scary part to my wife is that the technician made a comment that she would be interested in seeing what my surgeon comes up with for a plan since my esophagus is not presenting like typical achalasia patients do. I'm not surprised since I have had no peristalsis in the LES for 19 years, so foods been forced through there all this time! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2012 Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 Hi , I truly felt sorry for my husband for the past 22 years as well. Like your wife, my husband had never known me when I was " normal " . Our daughter was 15 when I had my esophagectomy. She grew up watching me eat a lot of soup! No bread, no meat, no pizza . . . They still love me:-) Robyn used to have to be the one to run into a store and get me a milk when I has having a spasm while driving. I hated knowing that she realized how much pain I was in. Also pulling over and running to the side of the road to get sick. Terrible years for us all, but they still love me! That was my whole point of replying. I've said " My poor husband " many, many times and now I'm starting menopause!!!! So when it's your wife's turn, be extra nice and supportive as she has been all this time for you! Best of luck, Thunder Bay, Ontario achalasia From: heroldkelly@... Date: Thu, 8 Mar 2012 14:52:48 +0000 Subject: My poor wife... So, I had a manometry test yesterday to help them determine what the next course of action is. After I vomited blood two weeks ago, my three scopes and one flouroscopy showed that the bottom of my esophagus is now stretched, a lot! I don't really know what they felt they might see with the manometry, but the technician told me that it was a very interesting test. She showed me how whenever I would swallow, my whole esophagus (or at least the part that actually does anything) would contract at once instead of laddering from top to bottom. The fact that my esophagus is stretched so much in the bottom of it is what concerns me and my wife. My poor wife has only had the pleasure of knowing me much post myotomy, and all she ever had to deal with was me throwing up food that got stuck, not vomiting blood, possible surgery, etc. I am good with not knowing what's going to happen since I know we meet with the surgeon on Monday and he will surely have a plan in mind at that time. My question is how have other people helped their spouse, significant other, etc., through this unknown time period and how do you help them understand that something will be figured out, we just need to trust the doctors to come up with a plan. I think the scary part to my wife is that the technician made a comment that she would be interested in seeing what my surgeon comes up with for a plan since my esophagus is not presenting like typical achalasia patients do. I'm not surprised since I have had no peristalsis in the LES for 19 years, so foods been forced through there all this time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2012 Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 I also worry about the impact all this is having on my husband and 3 teenage boys. I have faced my A diagnosis, my HM, tons of tests and my first dilation....all while beginning menopause! Talk about a confused body...and mind!! > > > Hi , I truly felt sorry for my husband for the past 22 years as well. Like your wife, my husband had never known me when I was " normal " . Our daughter was 15 when I had my esophagectomy. She grew up watching me eat a lot of soup! No bread, no meat, no pizza . . . They still love me:-) Robyn used to have to be the one to run into a store and get me a milk when I has having a spasm while driving. I hated knowing that she realized how much pain I was in. Also pulling over and running to the side of the road to get sick. Terrible years for us all, but they still love me! That was my whole point of replying. I've said " My poor husband " many, many times and now I'm starting menopause!!!! So when it's your wife's turn, be extra nice and supportive as she has been all this time for you! Best of luck, Thunder Bay, Ontario > achalasia > From: heroldkelly@... > Date: Thu, 8 Mar 2012 14:52:48 +0000 > Subject: My poor wife... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So, I had a manometry test yesterday to help them determine what the next course of action is. After I vomited blood two weeks ago, my three scopes and one flouroscopy showed that the bottom of my esophagus is now stretched, a lot! I don't really know what they felt they might see with the manometry, but the technician told me that it was a very interesting test. She showed me how whenever I would swallow, my whole esophagus (or at least the part that actually does anything) would contract at once instead of laddering from top to bottom. > > The fact that my esophagus is stretched so much in the bottom of it is what concerns me and my wife. My poor wife has only had the pleasure of knowing me much post myotomy, and all she ever had to deal with was me throwing up food that got stuck, not vomiting blood, possible surgery, etc. I am good with not knowing what's going to happen since I know we meet with the surgeon on Monday and he will surely have a plan in mind at that time. My question is how have other people helped their spouse, significant other, etc., through this unknown time period and how do you help them understand that something will be figured out, we just need to trust the doctors to come up with a plan. > > I think the scary part to my wife is that the technician made a comment that she would be interested in seeing what my surgeon comes up with for a plan since my esophagus is not presenting like typical achalasia patients do. I'm not surprised since I have had no peristalsis in the LES for 19 years, so foods been forced through there all this time! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 To help your other half or spouse understand what is going on it is best to be honest and truthfull throughout your treatment. Talk to them. Some don't want to know the details. Fair enough. Just so long that they understand what you are going through. I too am seeing surgeon on Monday. Good Luck to you on your appointment on Monday. from the UK ________________________________ From: heroldkelly <heroldkelly@...> achalasia Sent: Thursday, March 8, 2012 2:52 PM Subject: My poor wife... Â So, I had a manometry test yesterday to help them determine what the next course of action is. After I vomited blood two weeks ago, my three scopes and one flouroscopy showed that the bottom of my esophagus is now stretched, a lot! I don't really know what they felt they might see with the manometry, but the technician told me that it was a very interesting test. She showed me how whenever I would swallow, my whole esophagus (or at least the part that actually does anything) would contract at once instead of laddering from top to bottom. The fact that my esophagus is stretched so much in the bottom of it is what concerns me and my wife. My poor wife has only had the pleasure of knowing me much post myotomy, and all she ever had to deal with was me throwing up food that got stuck, not vomiting blood, possible surgery, etc. I am good with not knowing what's going to happen since I know we meet with the surgeon on Monday and he will surely have a plan in mind at that time. My question is how have other people helped their spouse, significant other, etc., through this unknown time period and how do you help them understand that something will be figured out, we just need to trust the doctors to come up with a plan. I think the scary part to my wife is that the technician made a comment that she would be interested in seeing what my surgeon comes up with for a plan since my esophagus is not presenting like typical achalasia patients do. I'm not surprised since I have had no peristalsis in the LES for 19 years, so foods been forced through there all this time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 Well I am the spouse --- & probably more knowledgeable about A than my husband thanks to this group. I have the frustrating role of trying to get said husband-with-A TO THE DOCTOR! I'm no longer scared. I no longer feel sorry for him. I am just mad. He can no longer eat ground beef. So last weekend I made chicken so he could eat dinner with us. Nope, 3 bites in he got up & went into the living room, & I knew what that meant. Chicken wasn't going down either. I felt bad for him for many years, but if he's not going to help himself then neither can I. I know that sounds cold & mean, but I can't understand why he doesn't get aggressive. I've told him all I've learned here but he just......doesn't do anything. When he's ready to fight, I will hold his hand the whole way. Until then -- I buy lots of soup. > > So, I had a manometry test yesterday to help them determine what the next course of action is. After I vomited blood two weeks ago, my three scopes and one flouroscopy showed that the bottom of my esophagus is now stretched, a lot! I don't really know what they felt they might see with the manometry, but the technician told me that it was a very interesting test. She showed me how whenever I would swallow, my whole esophagus (or at least the part that actually does anything) would contract at once instead of laddering from top to bottom. > The fact that my esophagus is stretched so much in the bottom of it is what concerns me and my wife. My poor wife has only had the pleasure of knowing me much post myotomy, and all she ever had to deal with was me throwing up food that got stuck, not vomiting blood, possible surgery, etc. I am good with not knowing what's going to happen since I know we meet with the surgeon on Monday and he will surely have a plan in mind at that time. My question is how have other people helped their spouse, significant other, etc., through this unknown time period and how do you help them understand that something will be figured out, we just need to trust the doctors to come up with a plan. > I think the scary part to my wife is that the technician made a comment that she would be interested in seeing what my surgeon comes up with for a plan since my esophagus is not presenting like typical achalasia patients do. I'm not surprised since I have had no peristalsis in the LES for 19 years, so foods been forced through there all this time! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 , can't attest to being the mate of an Achalasian, but I was the mate of a colorectal cancer survivor. (Stage 4/colostomy) The damage done from chemo and radiation was part of our daily lives. Worse really than the cancer part had been. We had just decided to " officially " live together when he had a bout of vomiting up his guts (intestinal blockage that lead to surgery) for six or seven hours. I recall standing at the bathroom door, watching this man I loved SO much seated on a chair in front of the commode, vomiting and vomiting and vomiting -- literally shit. Wishing I could hold him, or feed him, or take his place. He looked up, bleary eyed and asked if I wanted to change my mind about living together? Not on your life. Over our two years, many nights like that; nights in ER; hospital stays; and, finally, two weeks in ICU after a perforated bowel. *Almost* making it, but not. And bringing him home, and cleaning up his affairs, and coming back to West Virginia with his ashes. Did I wish he wasn't suffering? You bet. Did I evah wish I hadn't made to choice to go forward? Nevah. I was and am enormously grateful that he *let* me share his life, all of it, even parts that were no damn fun for either of us. And I think the irony is that we had a *better,* more joyful, more fulfilling relationship because of the problems, not despite them. Bon courage. in the Wonderful Wilds of West Virginia > > So, I had a manometry test yesterday to help them determine what the next course of action is. After I vomited blood two weeks ago, my three scopes and one flouroscopy showed that the bottom of my esophagus is now stretched, a lot! I don't really know what they felt they might see with the manometry, but the technician told me that it was a very interesting test. She showed me how whenever I would swallow, my whole esophagus (or at least the part that actually does anything) would contract at once instead of laddering from top to bottom. > The fact that my esophagus is stretched so much in the bottom of it is what concerns me and my wife. My poor wife has only had the pleasure of knowing me much post myotomy, and all she ever had to deal with was me throwing up food that got stuck, not vomiting blood, possible surgery, etc. I am good with not knowing what's going to happen since I know we meet with the surgeon on Monday and he will surely have a plan in mind at that time. My question is how have other people helped their spouse, significant other, etc., through this unknown time period and how do you help them understand that something will be figured out, we just need to trust the doctors to come up with a plan. > I think the scary part to my wife is that the technician made a comment that she would be interested in seeing what my surgeon comes up with for a plan since my esophagus is not presenting like typical achalasia patients do. I'm not surprised since I have had no peristalsis in the LES for 19 years, so foods been forced through there all this time! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 11, 2012 Report Share Posted March 11, 2012 Hi Firstly I would like to say what a lovely husband you are. I too am always concerned how hard it is for my husband Gareth. He is an amazing support to me and I am currently having many complications now which have not responded to surgery over the last year and I am facing a large op in a few weeks. Gareth is suddenly starting to look tired and stressed though he trys not to show it. I have just asked him what helps him the most and he straight away said knowing what was going on and being involved. I hope that you both facing it together makes you stronger and able to support each other. Much love to you. Kay UK > > So, I had a manometry test yesterday to help them determine what the next course of action is. After I vomited blood two weeks ago, my three scopes and one flouroscopy showed that the bottom of my esophagus is now stretched, a lot! I don't really know what they felt they might see with the manometry, but the technician told me that it was a very interesting test. She showed me how whenever I would swallow, my whole esophagus (or at least the part that actually does anything) would contract at once instead of laddering from top to bottom. > The fact that my esophagus is stretched so much in the bottom of it is what concerns me and my wife. My poor wife has only had the pleasure of knowing me much post myotomy, and all she ever had to deal with was me throwing up food that got stuck, not vomiting blood, possible surgery, etc. I am good with not knowing what's going to happen since I know we meet with the surgeon on Monday and he will surely have a plan in mind at that time. My question is how have other people helped their spouse, significant other, etc., through this unknown time period and how do you help them understand that something will be figured out, we just need to trust the doctors to come up with a plan. > I think the scary part to my wife is that the technician made a comment that she would be interested in seeing what my surgeon comes up with for a plan since my esophagus is not presenting like typical achalasia patients do. I'm not surprised since I have had no peristalsis in the LES for 19 years, so foods been forced through there all this time! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2012 Report Share Posted March 15, 2012 , Â I have found that is I cook chicken and put it in my food processor I can eat that in many variations. Red meat is hard for me to eat, even blenderized sometimes, but maybe he can try that. ________________________________ From: milwaukeemommy <milwaukeemommy@...> achalasia Sent: Friday, March 9, 2012 7:05 AM Subject: Re: My poor wife... Â Well I am the spouse --- & probably more knowledgeable about A than my husband thanks to this group. I have the frustrating role of trying to get said husband-with-A TO THE DOCTOR! I'm no longer scared. I no longer feel sorry for him. I am just mad. He can no longer eat ground beef. So last weekend I made chicken so he could eat dinner with us. Nope, 3 bites in he got up & went into the living room, & I knew what that meant. Chicken wasn't going down either. I felt bad for him for many years, but if he's not going to help himself then neither can I. I know that sounds cold & mean, but I can't understand why he doesn't get aggressive. I've told him all I've learned here but he just......doesn't do anything. When he's ready to fight, I will hold his hand the whole way. Until then -- I buy lots of soup. > > So, I had a manometry test yesterday to help them determine what the next course of action is. After I vomited blood two weeks ago, my three scopes and one flouroscopy showed that the bottom of my esophagus is now stretched, a lot! I don't really know what they felt they might see with the manometry, but the technician told me that it was a very interesting test. She showed me how whenever I would swallow, my whole esophagus (or at least the part that actually does anything) would contract at once instead of laddering from top to bottom. > The fact that my esophagus is stretched so much in the bottom of it is what concerns me and my wife. My poor wife has only had the pleasure of knowing me much post myotomy, and all she ever had to deal with was me throwing up food that got stuck, not vomiting blood, possible surgery, etc. I am good with not knowing what's going to happen since I know we meet with the surgeon on Monday and he will surely have a plan in mind at that time. My question is how have other people helped their spouse, significant other, etc., through this unknown time period and how do you help them understand that something will be figured out, we just need to trust the doctors to come up with a plan. > I think the scary part to my wife is that the technician made a comment that she would be interested in seeing what my surgeon comes up with for a plan since my esophagus is not presenting like typical achalasia patients do. I'm not surprised since I have had no peristalsis in the LES for 19 years, so foods been forced through there all this time! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.