Guest guest Posted March 27, 2005 Report Share Posted March 27, 2005 My son does not rock but he does pace alot. He also goes through crying jags or tantrums when he doesn't get his way. I wish some of you guys lived close by me so we could get together. But I'm glad I have you guys to open up to. Thanks!! Geris5@... wrote: In a message dated 3/26/2005 4:50:53 P.M. Central Standard Time, shell.belle@... writes: Welcome to the group Geri! My oldest son who is 13 has AS and was diagnosed with it at age 11. Your description of him is pretty close to a description of my son. Except my son has no friends at school. But he does the hand flapping alot, and he can be pretty agumentive. He's all around though a good kid and doesn't get in trouble at school or anything. The problems are more at home. I am just concerned about his socializing skills. I am also fairly new to the group too, and really enjoy it here, these women are such a help to me, and an inspiration! Hope all goes well with your son and glad you have joined us. ************************************************************************** , Thanks for the warm welcome. My Logan is pretty argumentative to. His PARA says he argues with her constantly about everything. I have a better handle on him so he doesn't do that with me. He never did it with the PARA he had for the previous 3 years either. He would argue if there wasn't even a point to be made. Part of his disorder I guess. Does your son do the rocking to? Logan rocks and does it so stiffly. Geriwife to mom to Logan, Krista, and Abigail¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ \__\```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | || |l¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°As for me and my house, we will serve the LordAdoptiveParentsSupport/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2005 Report Share Posted March 27, 2005 hi janet! it sounds like you are ready to start your journey back to fitness now.... congratulations on your decision and the promises that you have made to yourself! we are all here to do it with you, so please post often! :*carolyn. -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Anti-Virus. Version: 7.0.300 / Virus Database: 266.8.4 - Release Date: 3/27/2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2005 Report Share Posted March 27, 2005 welcome janet. i think a size 10 is a realistic goal. it took me a while to get down to that size b/c my eating was what set me back. i enjoy the older tae-bos i have as well. always feel real toned afterward. what other videos do you have?we would love to hear about them. again welcome kassia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2005 Report Share Posted March 27, 2005 Hello Geri, Welcome to the group, i hope it helps you as much as it's helped me over the past few wks. Best wishes Netty >From: Geris5@... >Reply-Autism and Aspergers Treatment >Autism and Aspergers Treatment >Subject: New to the Group >Date: Fri, 25 Mar 2005 08:54:15 EST > >Hello all, >my name is Geri and I have three wonderful kids still in the nest. My >oldest >still at home is my DS and he was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. He is >almost 11 and the older he gets the harder the social interaction with his >piers becomes. His IQ seems to range from the 70's to the upper 90's. >Depends on >who is testing and how. He is a very sweet and delightful child. He is also >very concrete in his thinking and words things in a very different way. He >is >our oldest child still at home. We have several grown children and are >taking >care of some of our grandkids as temporary foster children. My son seems >to >be maturing more with the other kids being here, but also seems to have >reverted back to some arm flapping and pushing his palms together when he >gets >really happy. We had this behavior changed to a thumbs up or verbal > " that's >cool " for the last three years so his piers would feel more comfortable >around >him at school. He is mainstreamed at school with an IEP and a full time >PARA. >This was really hard for us to get and we had to go to due process to >fight >for it. That took almost 2 full years to win. He is doing better with >'normal' >piers that with the severally mentally retarded children he was with in >special education. He reads, writes, and spells at grade level. His math >is a B, >and all other grades are A's. He struggles some with some math, mainly the >math questions. He doesn't understand the wording in the word problems, >they >don't make any sense to him. >For the most part, he is a really sweet guy with a big heart, but lacks the >understanding of what is and is not appropriate play with piers and smaller >children. He can be very pushy, grabby (clothing) and bossy with other >kids. >Hope to get to know you all and learn from you. Thanks for reading this. > >Geri >wife to >mom to Logan, Krista, and Abigail > > >¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___ >,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ \__\ >```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | || |l >¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º° >As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord > >_AdoptiveParentsSupport/_ >(AdoptiveParentsSupport/) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 Welcome Janet! Kathy New to the Group Hello everyone:My name is Janet and thank you for letting me into your group. I've been a video exerciser at home for the past 12 years. I took a break from them and worked out at Power House Gym in California but hated driving there every day so I went back to working out at home.I'm 45, a widow with no kids and live in Southern California. My weight has climbed up and down all my life and I'm tired of it. When I read Oprah's bio about losing weight and not wanting to be unhealthy and fat in her new house in Calfornia it made me think that I don't want to be fat and 50. I want to be 45 and a hottie! I don't want to be fat in shorts and I want to be able to wear sleeveless tops and not be self conscious about my arms. When I had to buy a size 16 jeans I said ok, this isn't working for me. So my goal is not body weight but jean size, which is a 10, realistic for me.Last year I suffered a devastating breakup that sunk me into deep depression and sadness and exercise was the one thing that helped me, not all the way, but some. Prior to that I had went through job loss and major surgery so my psyche took a beating last year. But now it's spring and I'm getting back into my groove of healthy eating, no alcohol and some kick butt cardio. I've ordered the Blanks Bootcamp video and will let you all know how I progress. I did the original Tae Bo tapes in 1998 and literally wore the tapes out. I lost 4 inches off my hips in one month!So I'm back to my old happy Janet pre-breakup and it's going to stay that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 In a message dated 3/27/2005 1:25:09 P.M. Central Standard Time, shell.belle@... writes: My son does not rock but he does pace alot. He also goes through crying jags or tantrums when he doesn't get his way. I wish some of you guys lived close by me so we could get together. But I'm glad I have you guys to open up to. Thanks!! My Logan paces some, but mostly he does a nervous thing with his fingers. His rocking has slowed down a lot. He is so stiff when he plays or dances. He has no rhythm or movement that is natural, it is all stiff and forced. Geriwife to mom to Logan, Krista, and Abigail¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ \__\```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | || |l¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°As for me and my house, we will serve the LordAdoptiveParentsSupport/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 In a message dated 3/27/2005 3:52:49 P.M. Central Standard Time, islaparis@... writes: i wish that to michelle Well, I am from South West Missouri, used to live in Bakersfield California. Where are you all from? Geriwife to mom to Logan, Krista, and Abigail¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ \__\```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | || |l¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°As for me and my house, we will serve the LordAdoptiveParentsSupport/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 In a message dated 3/27/2005 9:43:09 P.M. Central Standard Time, nettysmith10@... writes: Hello Geri,Welcome to the group, i hope it helps you as much as it's helped me over the past few wks.Best wishesNetty Thank you Netty. I think as sweet and helpful as all the moms are on here I will get a lot of knowledge, answers, and support! Geriwife to mom to Logan, Krista, and Abigail¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ \__\```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | || |l¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°As for me and my house, we will serve the LordAdoptiveParentsSupport/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 In a message dated 3/28/2005 1:17:18 P.M. Central Standard Time, shell.belle@... writes: My son also does the finger-hand thing, he usually does it when he's real excited, he's gotten made fun of alot at school because he does it. I feel bad about it. He also has very stiff and uncoordinated movement. It seems to have gotten better over the years though. He also likes schedules, eating and bathing and going to bed. They have to be very routine for him. If it's 12:oo he will let me know it is now time for his lunch, and if I tell him to go to bed at nine he says it's not his time yet, he still has another half an hour left, and if this routine gets messed up he gets quite cranky! He also cannot brush his teeth until after he has taken his shower, NEVER before! He's my honey though and I love him to death! Wher are you living? I'm in Ill. , I sat in on a seminar for Autism and found out that routine is bad for kids with Aspergers and Autism. I thought that I was suppose to have a routine and stick to it, but found out I was creating more problems for him. The real world is flexible and things happen, so if our ds is so rigid he can't do change, then he melts down. I have started messing with his routine and schedule and giving him a different bed time every night. 8 pm one night, 8:10 the next, maybe 8:12 or 8:02 the next night. He never knows because we don't tell him ahead of time. That is the only spur of the moment thing we do with him and it is getting to be very funny to him. It has taken months of work to get him used to it. Geriwife to mom to Logan, Krista, and Abigail¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ \__\```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | || |l¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°As for me and my house, we will serve the LordAdoptiveParentsSupport/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 My son (age 13) also rocks sometimes. I am amazed how many things he does that I never put together before. The most irritating thing my son does is he always has to make some kind of noise. If there is something around such as a candy wrapper, he just has to mess with it so there is a constant crinkling noise. He also constantly want to fiddle with things and tends to break them in the process. Not good when money is tight. Ten years of doing these things and I finally realize they are stims. Wow. How the pieces are falling in place. > , > Thanks for the warm welcome. My Logan is pretty argumentative to. His PARA > says he argues with her constantly about everything. I have a better handle on > him so he doesn't do that with me. He never did it with the PARA he had for > the previous 3 years either. He would argue if there wasn't even a point to be > made. Part of his disorder I guess. Does your son do the rocking to? Logan > rocks and does it so stiffly. > > Geri > wife to > mom to Logan, Krista, and Abigail > > > ¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___ > ,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ \__\ > ```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | || |l > ¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º° > As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord > > _AdoptiveParentsSupport/_ > (AdoptiveParentsSupport/) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 My son also does the finger-hand thing, he usually does it when he's real excited, he's gotten made fun of alot at school because he does it. I feel bad about it. He also has very stiff and uncoordinated movement. It seems to have gotten better over the years though. He also likes schedules, eating and bathing and going to bed. They have to be very routine for him. If it's 12:oo he will let me know it is now time for his lunch, and if I tell him to go to bed at nine he says it's not his time yet, he still has another half an hour left, and if this routine gets messed up he gets quite cranky! He also cannot brush his teeth until after he has taken his shower, NEVER before! He's my honey though and I love him to death! Wher are you living? I'm in Ill. Geris5@... wrote: In a message dated 3/27/2005 1:25:09 P.M. Central Standard Time, shell.belle@... writes: My son does not rock but he does pace alot. He also goes through crying jags or tantrums when he doesn't get his way. I wish some of you guys lived close by me so we could get together. But I'm glad I have you guys to open up to. Thanks!! My Logan paces some, but mostly he does a nervous thing with his fingers. His rocking has slowed down a lot. He is so stiff when he plays or dances. He has no rhythm or movement that is natural, it is all stiff and forced. Geriwife to mom to Logan, Krista, and Abigail¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ \__\```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | || |l¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°As for me and my house, we will serve the LordAdoptiveParentsSupport/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 Thanks for the advice!! I did not know that. Maybe I will change some of his habitual acts around a bit. It's just a little harder to change the schedule of a boy who's 13 , whereas a child who is much younger it may be easier to do. An older child seems more on his own than an older one, so I may not be able to change some if it. Maybe the mealtimes and the bed times may work. But the shower teeth brushing schedule may not work. Thanks for your help and advice!!! God bless You! Geris5@... wrote: In a message dated 3/28/2005 1:17:18 P.M. Central Standard Time, shell.belle@... writes: My son also does the finger-hand thing, he usually does it when he's real excited, he's gotten made fun of alot at school because he does it. I feel bad about it. He also has very stiff and uncoordinated movement. It seems to have gotten better over the years though. He also likes schedules, eating and bathing and going to bed. They have to be very routine for him. If it's 12:oo he will let me know it is now time for his lunch, and if I tell him to go to bed at nine he says it's not his time yet, he still has another half an hour left, and if this routine gets messed up he gets quite cranky! He also cannot brush his teeth until after he has taken his shower, NEVER before! He's my honey though and I love him to death! Wher are you living? I'm in Ill. , I sat in on a seminar for Autism and found out that routine is bad for kids with Aspergers and Autism. I thought that I was suppose to have a routine and stick to it, but found out I was creating more problems for him. The real world is flexible and things happen, so if our ds is so rigid he can't do change, then he melts down. I have started messing with his routine and schedule and giving him a different bed time every night. 8 pm one night, 8:10 the next, maybe 8:12 or 8:02 the next night. He never knows because we don't tell him ahead of time. That is the only spur of the moment thing we do with him and it is getting to be very funny to him. It has taken months of work to get him used to it. Geriwife to mom to Logan, Krista, and Abigail¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ \__\```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | || |l¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°As for me and my house, we will serve the LordAdoptiveParentsSupport/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 In a message dated 3/28/2005 3:27:54 P.M. Central Standard Time, Donna@... writes: Routine is calming to ASD kids. Maybe what the speaker was trying to explain was that letting them have each and every thing on their schedule was bad, but she didn't explain it fully. It's okay to try to stretch things to an extent, but they rely on routine and structure to function, and too much deviation takes away the little control they feel they have.Donna I understand that part of it Donna, and I think they feel safer with a schedule. She just tried to emphasize driving a totally different route to the store or wherever you go regularly. I believe the whole seminar was geared towards high functioning AS children who will one day be in the work force. They need to learn to adapt ASAP to change. That is the point the speaker was trying to make. Sorry if my relaying her topic upset everyone. My apologies. Geriwife to mom to Logan, Krista, and Abigail¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ \__\```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | || |l¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°As for me and my house, we will serve the LordAdoptiveParentsSupport/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 Hi Geri, >>, I sat in on a seminar for Autism and found out that routine is >>bad for kids with Aspergers and Autism.<< Whoever said that would appear to have not lived with someone with ASD. That is a ridiculous thing to say. They need as much routine as you can give them, and plenty of advance warning of changes. Most everything in life is unpredictable for them - because they miss all the non-verbal communication (facial expression, gesture, intonation etc) they are really at sea when it comes to working out what is going to happen next. Even something like the phone ringing is unpredictable. So they need as much stability and routine as possible to counteract their feelings of being out of control all the time. You are very lucky that your son has adapted to you changing his bedtime like that. in England Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 In a message dated 3/28/2005 7:41:12 P.M. Central Standard Time, scottdesigns@... writes: If he is on a couch he will tend to rock his body if he is sitting but if he's lying down or can't rock himself for some reason he will chew ANYTHING that is in his hand.....heck sometimes he does both! Or if their is nothing to chew he flaps his hands or wiggles his fingers. -Charlotte Charlotte, you have described my ds. His PARA often gets upset because he chews pencils, erasers, his shirt, the collar on his jacket, the corner of his reader, his ruler, or fingers. Drives her nuts! We need to put into his IEP that it is a coping tool for him so she can't scold him and cancel his recess for it. Geriwife to mom to Logan, Krista, and Abigail¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ \__\```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | || |l¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°As for me and my house, we will serve the LordAdoptiveParentsSupport/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 That comment made me wonder, too -- without routine, my HFA child would be in a world of hurt. We do tend to stretch his boundaries some, but overall, there's a routine, and if we deviate too much, we tell him ahead of time. (We are huge on the 'teeth brushing in 10 minutes...' warnings, and things like 'we're going to the store tomorrow to buy you new shoes...' and then a 'today we're going to the store to buy you new shoes after mommy's done with work,' followed by a 'we're going to get new shoes in 10 minutes...' kind of thing.) Routine is calming to ASD kids. Maybe what the speaker was trying to explain was that letting them have each and every thing on their schedule was bad, but she didn't explain it fully. It's okay to try to stretch things to an extent, but they rely on routine and structure to function, and too much deviation takes away the little control they feel they have. Donna Re: New to the Group > > Hi Geri, >>>, I sat in on a seminar for Autism and found out that routine is >>>bad for kids with Aspergers and Autism.<< > > Whoever said that would appear to have not lived with someone with ASD. > That > is a ridiculous thing to say. They need as much routine as you can give > them, and plenty of advance warning of changes. Most everything in life is > unpredictable for them - because they miss all the non-verbal > communication > (facial expression, gesture, intonation etc) they are really at sea when > it > comes to working out what is going to happen next. Even something like the > phone ringing is unpredictable. So they need as much stability and routine > as possible to counteract their feelings of being out of control all the > time. > > You are very lucky that your son has adapted to you changing his bedtime > like that. > > in England Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 In a message dated 3/28/2005 6:47:24 P.M. Central Standard Time, cubicmonica@... writes: Periodically stirring things up could help them learn how to deal with unpredictable life but like everything, we need to chose our battles. I must say I met one lady who believes she pulled her child out of autism but intentionally avoiding routine. At first it was very hard for her son but over time he began to see it as a game. Regardless, we are the parents and must go with our insticts as to what is best for our individual children. , I think that is what the Judevine Center for Autism was all about when I attended the parent seminar for AS. Geriwife to mom to Logan, Krista, and Abigail¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ \__\```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | || |l¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°As for me and my house, we will serve the LordAdoptiveParentsSupport/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 Both my boys (13 yo Aspergers & 5 yo Austitic) have no problem with change. They have never had a set bed-time, mealtime etc. This lack of needing stucture could be due to one of two things. One possibility could be that since we never had structure, they never came to expect it. I feel more likly however is that just like one ASD kid has problem with oversensitive hearing while another does not, some need strict schedules and others do not. My opinion is that we need to stretch our kids beyond their comfort point but at the same time give them a break. Periodically stirring things up could help them learn how to deal with unpredictable life but like everything, we need to chose our battles. I must say I met one lady who believes she pulled her child out of autism but intentionally avoiding routine. At first it was very hard for her son but over time he began to see it as a game. Regardless, we are the parents and must go with our insticts as to what is best for our individual children. > Hi Geri, > >>, I sat in on a seminar for Autism and found out that routine is > >>bad for kids with Aspergers and Autism.<< > > Whoever said that would appear to have not lived with someone with ASD. That > is a ridiculous thing to say. They need as much routine as you can give > them, and plenty of advance warning of changes. Most everything in life is > unpredictable for them - because they miss all the non-verbal communication > (facial expression, gesture, intonation etc) they are really at sea when it > comes to working out what is going to happen next. Even something like the > phone ringing is unpredictable. So they need as much stability and routine > as possible to counteract their feelings of being out of control all the > time. > > You are very lucky that your son has adapted to you changing his bedtime > like that. > > in England Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 Hi Donna, I just wanted to say that I think routine is calming to kids in general, and I find it is calming to me as an adult also. Seems like the older I get the less I like surprises. And my mom, she is 86 now, and she doesn't even like to leave her house because she cannot be in control of things now that she has become so fragile and so dependant on others to get around. So I think routine is calming to all of us in general, and all the more so to a child who is already having trouble processing things, and staying calm when too much information is coming too fast. I know with me being a mom all these years to four rambunctious kids, and one who was especially hard to handle due to his brain damage, seizures, and autistic behaviors, and now being mom almost all over again to three grandkids, they do have a mom but she works full time, that routine is the foundation which holds the fortress in place. I could be set in my ways, but still the kids always calm down when they know what to expect, my adult kids do, and my grandkids do, and no doubt some day my grandkids will also. I believe that routine is order, and that order is a GOOD thing I because the war is against chaos and confusion, and that sort of thing, and it is intense, very intense. To key is to keep steady, when all hell breaks lose against you. Story of my life. So to stability I say, and we are the experts, not people who write books. God gives us the wisdom. Carolyn Re: New to the Group>> Hi Geri,>>>, I sat in on a seminar for Autism and found out that routine is>>>bad for kids with Aspergers and Autism.<<>> Whoever said that would appear to have not lived with someone with ASD. > That> is a ridiculous thing to say. They need as much routine as you can give> them, and plenty of advance warning of changes. Most everything in life is> unpredictable for them - because they miss all the non-verbal > communication> (facial expression, gesture, intonation etc) they are really at sea when > it> comes to working out what is going to happen next. Even something like the> phone ringing is unpredictable. So they need as much stability and routine> as possible to counteract their feelings of being out of control all the> time.>> You are very lucky that your son has adapted to you changing his bedtime> like that.>> in England Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 Same here. Without routine and schedule is a nightmare. He is very much dependant on our afternoon/nightly order of things and he rigidly sticks to the "times" things are suppose to happen. He really goes off his rocker when this gets messed with. He can't deal when something disrupts his nightly routine like a school play or something. If we get home 1/2 hour before bed and he's missed his entire nightly rituals...he FLIPS out! -Charlotte Mom to 11 AS/ADHD/KS & Gracie (nt so far lol) Re: New to the Group>> Hi Geri,>>>, I sat in on a seminar for Autism and found out that routine is>>>bad for kids with Aspergers and Autism.<<>> Whoever said that would appear to have not lived with someone with ASD. > That> is a ridiculous thing to say. They need as much routine as you can give> them, and plenty of advance warning of changes. Most everything in life is> unpredictable for them - because they miss all the non-verbal > communication> (facial expression, gesture, intonation etc) they are really at sea when > it> comes to working out what is going to happen next. Even something like the> phone ringing is unpredictable. So they need as much stability and routine> as possible to counteract their feelings of being out of control all the> time.>> You are very lucky that your son has adapted to you changing his bedtime> like that.>> in England Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2005 Report Share Posted March 29, 2005 I know with us, although my son thrives on routine and has a fit without it, it's just not always possible. I do not let his schedule "prevent" us from doing the things that need to be done. The fits have lessoned over the years but now it's almost like Russian Roulette with schedule changes, he may blow or he may not.....I never know. -Charlotte Re: New to the Group Both my boys (13 yo Aspergers & 5 yo Austitic) have no problem with change. They have never had a set bed-time, mealtime etc. This lack of needing stucture could be due to one of two things. One possibility could be that since we never had structure, they never came to expect it. I feel more likly however is that just like one ASD kid has problem with oversensitive hearing while another does not, some need strict schedules and others do not.My opinion is that we need to stretch our kids beyond their comfort point but at the same time give them a break. Periodically stirring things up could help them learn how to deal with unpredictable life but like everything, we need to chose our battles. I must say I met one lady who believes she pulled her child out of autism but intentionally avoiding routine. At first it was very hard for her son but over time he began to see it as a game. Regardless, we are the parents and must go with our insticts as to what is best for our individual children.> Hi Geri,> >>, I sat in on a seminar for Autism and found out that routine is > >>bad for kids with Aspergers and Autism.<<> > Whoever said that would appear to have not lived with someone with ASD. That > is a ridiculous thing to say. They need as much routine as you can give > them, and plenty of advance warning of changes. Most everything in life is > unpredictable for them - because they miss all the non-verbal communication > (facial expression, gesture, intonation etc) they are really at sea when it > comes to working out what is going to happen next. Even something like the > phone ringing is unpredictable. So they need as much stability and routine > as possible to counteract their feelings of being out of control all the > time.> > You are very lucky that your son has adapted to you changing his bedtime > like that.> > in England Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2005 Report Share Posted March 29, 2005 My son rocks but takes the chair with him!! He can NOT sit in a chair without tipping it forward and back. I have to get him a rocking chair otherwise he will destroy any chair he sits in!! Problem is that the rocking chair we have is not padded it's hardwood so he won't use it. I need to buy really soft cushions for it first. If he is on a couch he will tend to rock his body if he is sitting but if he's lying down or can't rock himself for some reason he will chew ANYTHING that is in his hand.....heck sometimes he does both! Or if their is nothing to chew he flaps his hands or wiggles his fingers. -Charlotte Re: New to the Group My son does not rock but he does pace alot. He also goes through crying jags or tantrums when he doesn't get his way. I wish some of you guys lived close by me so we could get together. But I'm glad I have you guys to open up to. Thanks!! Geris5@... wrote: In a message dated 3/26/2005 4:50:53 P.M. Central Standard Time, shell.belle@... writes: Welcome to the group Geri! My oldest son who is 13 has AS and was diagnosed with it at age 11. Your description of him is pretty close to a description of my son. Except my son has no friends at school. But he does the hand flapping alot, and he can be pretty agumentive. He's all around though a good kid and doesn't get in trouble at school or anything. The problems are more at home. I am just concerned about his socializing skills. I am also fairly new to the group too, and really enjoy it here, these women are such a help to me, and an inspiration! Hope all goes well with your son and glad you have joined us. ************************************************************************** , Thanks for the warm welcome. My Logan is pretty argumentative to. His PARA says he argues with her constantly about everything. I have a better handle on him so he doesn't do that with me. He never did it with the PARA he had for the previous 3 years either. He would argue if there wasn't even a point to be made. Part of his disorder I guess. Does your son do the rocking to? Logan rocks and does it so stiffly. Geriwife to mom to Logan, Krista, and Abigail¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ \__\```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | || |l¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°As for me and my house, we will serve the LordAdoptiveParentsSupport/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2005 Report Share Posted March 29, 2005 It may be good for my son because he does have high functioning AS. I know he will be getting a job someday and hopefully be living on his own. Even though both those ideas frighten me. I just can't see him having a boss, what will he act like. I'm just worried about his temper and his crying fits. Geris5@... wrote: In a message dated 3/28/2005 3:27:54 P.M. Central Standard Time, Donna@... writes: Routine is calming to ASD kids. Maybe what the speaker was trying to explain was that letting them have each and every thing on their schedule was bad, but she didn't explain it fully. It's okay to try to stretch things to an extent, but they rely on routine and structure to function, and too much deviation takes away the little control they feel they have.Donna I understand that part of it Donna, and I think they feel safer with a schedule. She just tried to emphasize driving a totally different route to the store or wherever you go regularly. I believe the whole seminar was geared towards high functioning AS children who will one day be in the work force. They need to learn to adapt ASAP to change. That is the point the speaker was trying to make. Sorry if my relaying her topic upset everyone. My apologies. Geriwife to mom to Logan, Krista, and Abigail¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ \__\```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | || |l¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°As for me and my house, we will serve the LordAdoptiveParentsSupport/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2005 Report Share Posted March 29, 2005 Geri, My son has finally stopped chewing his clothing but for a while (like a few years) every new shirt I bought had holes in it within 2 days. He does it occasionally now but only if there is nothing else available. School was concerned that he was going to ingest metal and erasers from the tops of the pencils so they put chewy tubing on the top of all his pencils. This was a great idea and has helped allot! I need to buy some for home too because to looks like a wild animal has attacked all of our pencils and pens here too! He has also chewed up every tv remote in the playroom. I had to take them away and stop letting him control the channels. I can't even describe what all the remotes look like, including the PS2 remote! -Charlotte Re: New to the Group In a message dated 3/28/2005 7:41:12 P.M. Central Standard Time, scottdesigns@... writes: If he is on a couch he will tend to rock his body if he is sitting but if he's lying down or can't rock himself for some reason he will chew ANYTHING that is in his hand.....heck sometimes he does both! Or if their is nothing to chew he flaps his hands or wiggles his fingers. -Charlotte Charlotte, you have described my ds. His PARA often gets upset because he chews pencils, erasers, his shirt, the collar on his jacket, the corner of his reader, his ruler, or fingers. Drives her nuts! We need to put into his IEP that it is a coping tool for him so she can't scold him and cancel his recess for it. Geriwife to mom to Logan, Krista, and Abigail¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ \__\```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | || |l¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°As for me and my house, we will serve the LordAdoptiveParentsSupport/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2005 Report Share Posted March 29, 2005 You don't need to apologize for anything! It didn't upset me -- I think we were just trying to clarify something that sounded odd to us. No worries!! Re: New to the Group In a message dated 3/28/2005 3:27:54 P.M. Central Standard Time, Donna@... writes: Routine is calming to ASD kids. Maybe what the speaker was trying to explain was that letting them have each and every thing on their schedule was bad, but she didn't explain it fully. It's okay to try to stretch things to an extent, but they rely on routine and structure to function, and too much deviation takes away the little control they feel they have.Donna I understand that part of it Donna, and I think they feel safer with a schedule. She just tried to emphasize driving a totally different route to the store or wherever you go regularly. I believe the whole seminar was geared towards high functioning AS children who will one day be in the work force. They need to learn to adapt ASAP to change. That is the point the speaker was trying to make. Sorry if my relaying her topic upset everyone. My apologies. Geriwife to mom to Logan, Krista, and Abigail¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ \__\```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | || |l¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°As for me and my house, we will serve the LordAdoptiveParentsSupport/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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