Reply to Radhika and others. Re:Termination of pregnancy of an HIV positive women

[Guest guest]

Dear Forum,

The following are the comments from Shomik Ray,Akhila Panchamukhi and Anindita

Choudhury on Termination of pregnancy of an HIV positive women. Messages

directly send to " Radika " and copied to the FORUM are not posted on the FORUM.

[Moderator]

1) Shomik Ray <shomik@...>

Dear Forum,

" Radhika " 's unfortunate incident is an ideal case inpoint to the currebt

scenario in the country as far as work against HIV/AIDS is concerned.

Radhika it might be easier for us to help you if it is at least possible for you

to let us know the part of the country that you come from. There are

organisations who could help you, not to undo your tragedy,but at least to cope

with it and to help you take the right decisions.

I can understand Joya Banerjee's anger which probably comes to her naturally as

a protagonist for justice to women, but at the same time a similar appreciation

to those of the HIV affected people would also be lauded.

I am also apprehensive of AIDS-India taking up a role of a counsellor as it

means much more than just saying or keying in the right things. But flagging up

the key counselling issues is definitely helpful anyway.

It is so true when in an interview to World AIDS Economics Forum, Dr. Piot Piot

said that less than 1 in 5 people around the globe had access to any sort of HIV

prevention programme. In India the situation is probably worse.

Radhika's decision to hide does not anger me, what challenges my sanity is -

Where did he get tested? What sort of pre and post test counselling was made

available? When he tested positive, why was he not brought in touch with a

support group? With a liitle counselling and support Radhika and his wife could

have had a healthy child( MTCT programmes are now widely available). The child

would have given them succour and relief from the trauma of being positive.

Instead, now they are faced with a life threatening situation for the wife, a

spoiled birth and a crestfallen Radhika.

Arise, Awake and Act

With regards,

Shomik Ray

E-mail: <shomik@...>

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2) Akhila Panchamukhi [akhila_punch@...]

I would agree with Rajan Gupta that we should not be moralistic or 'preachy'

because will only be counter -productive. And the follow- up mail from Radhika

just proves that point. In the first mail, there was concern about his wife's

health but the second mail is clearly defensive, almost on the verge of saying,

'it is not my fault' and it only demonstrates how a judgemental response can

change things for the worse.

Disclosure to partner is a very critical issue which is usually not handled

well. tehre is a tremendous sense of urgency among those in the helping

profession to 'protect the spouse' and a feeling that they can take over their

client's life and that once they have informed the partner they have done the

good deed for the day and their conscience is clear. I would like to ask such

people, how do you know there is only one partner? If there is more than one

partner then the counsellor or doctor should be made responsible to

protect all the other partners as well. And just how would they go about doing

that?

People usually quote the law and the NACO policy that partner notification is

the counsellor/ doctor's responsibility. And this is nothing but misreading of

the NACO policy which emphasises that " even after repeated counselling " if the

client does not disclose then the counsellor or doctor is obligated to disclose.

But most people conveniently forget the clause, " even after repeated

counselling " and try to play God. So i believe that being non- judgemental and

empathetic would go a long way to empower the client to accept risk to himself/

herself and to their sexual partner; to take responsibility for his/ her

actions; and make the right decisions for the benefit of all concerned.

In the end, i would urge radhika to disclose his status to his wife. Yes, we

understand it would be traumatic to both of you and may even endanger your

marriage, but sharing your status with your partner is important not just to

protect your wife but also to ensure support for yourself. I understand that

your experience of care- seeking has not been good, but i assure that there are

very good people working in this field and this forum can help you to access

such professional services.

Akhila Panchamukhi [akhila_punch@...]

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3) Anindita Choudhury [t_anindita@...]

To be Fair to Joya, I too was very offended by " Radhika " 's behavior. Yes, I do

understand that he is going through a bad phase. But the impression I got from

his email, was that he was hiding his HIV status from his wife not because he

didn't know if she was the one who gave it to him but becuase he knew he was the

one who had given it to her.

Also, the anger that Joya and I (and hopefully a few more people atleast) felt

had nothing to do with the stigma related to HIV. I cannot speak for joya, but I

work with people who had HIV every single day and I there is only compassion in

my heart for them. The anger was more because the number of people we see who do

the exact same thing that this person is/was doing (hopefully he has told his

wife as that is the impression I got from his last email). The fact that

heterosexual women (even those in monogamous relationships) are the most at risk

at HIV is something that needs more attention. Especially in India, where HIV

has become the largest cause of adult mortality.

So, bottomline is, even though at some level I do have compassion and try not

to be judgemental about " radhika " , the HIV prevention educator (and woman) in me

was very offended and angered by his email. The first thought that crossed my

mind was, " How in the world is anyone going to stop this epidemic, unless we can

stop people from behaving this way!! "

Yes, I commend " radhika " for coming here to this forum and asking for help, but

it still does not excuse the fact that his wife was in the dark about all this.

After all, he did say that he convince his wife to have the abortion because he

told he did not want the baby! Partner notification is a big and important step

towards not just curbing the epidemic but also getting treatment to the infected

as soon as possible.

And Radhika, Maybe you should give your doctors the benefit of doubt. Maybe they

want to know your HIV status so that if you dont already know it, they can get

treatment to you as and when necessary and NOT to discriminate against you. I am

not saying that there aren't doctors who do. There are those kinds, but then you

have to realize that everybody isn't that way. Also, honestly, Iam not a doctor

but that whole theory of yours about not needing treatment for five years. I

dont know how true that is, as far as I lknow, that is not true.

If someone in the forum has more precise information about that, could you

please let " Radhika " know?

Thanks.

Anindita

Anindita Choudhury [t_anindita@...]

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