Re: Reply to message -Radhika seeking information on termination of pregnancy

January 26, 2004

I certainly agree with Mr. Gupta that only non-judgemental approach will help us

to help people with HIV infection. This is the main reason that we have such a

heavy underreporting of HIV infection in India. As far as social issues

associated with this individual (I mean Radhika) are concerned, I guess we would

better leave it to him and his family do decide how to address these issues.

We may help him to deal with this social situation if he is seeking any help for

any marital disharmony, but such is not the situation . As an individual

it is very easy to be reactive to these issues, but the point is to be able to

absorb our reactions and translate it into compassionate advise that is so much

practical and helpful. We definately want to leave the issues of family

adjustment to Radhika and his family without deciding who infected whom.

One thing we need to realize in life is that everyone needs to satisfy their

needs including physical, the means we choose is circumstantial and what we

choose is our own way of responding to our needs and the consequences of our

response are definately ours.

Sexual behavior is very personal, which is guided by the basic instinct of a

human being. To value judge an instinctive behavior is not so much appropriate

especially by people who can make a difference in the world.

I would also suggest Radhika that he should not allow such reactions to affect

him at this point (though it is easier said than done!) and seek medical advise

for the issue of abortion. I am not an obstretician (though I am a physician).

So I appeal to any memeber who is an expert in this field to provide any advise

to Radhika as to how this issue can be dealt.

I am sure there is a lot to learn and understand the social impacts of HIV for

all of us and also for Radhika. I provide my support to Radhika, though I do not

really appreciate the social circumstance in which he is dwelling. I am

confidentr that he has learnt enough to be a responsible husband and will

continue to provide his help and support to his family lifelong.

Thanks

Arun Karpur

E-mail: jaideva76@...

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