Reply to message 3113 (Radhika seeking information on termination of pregnancy)

[Guest guest]

I am writing in response to Joya Banerjee's posting 3113 that provided advise to

Radhika regarding " termination of pregnancy " by his wife. While I can understand

Ms. Banerjee's response and anger, there are some very fundamental issues that

her posting raises that I would like the forum to consider.

Irrespective of what Radhika wrote -- he has appealed to AID-INDIA as a HIV+

person seeking advice. In this sensitive situation anyone offering advice is de

facto acting as a counselor. A counselor has to accept and take into account

that Radhika is having to deal with trauma following a test report that is

positive for HIV.

In any case some fundamental requisites of a counselor are

To not judge but provide advice and options

To not belittle but provide encouragement

To not take a high moral stand but provide support and help

In addition to these serious omissions, Ms. Banerjee choose to post her reply to

AID-INDIA. Even though the e-mail does not disclose Radhika's identity -- the

only purpose of posting the reply I can think of is her intent to set this as an

example of male duplicity and deplore it. While this may well be true, one

mistake is not solved by another. Such responses are not acceptable and it makes

Ms. Banerjee responsible for any further emotional damage or trauma that may

occur to Radhika on reading the note.

I sincerely hope that this example illustrates how difficult it is to work with

HIV+ people and what fortitude and compassion it takes to counsel.

Sincerely

Rajan Gupta

rajan@...

http://t8web.lanl.gov/people/rajan/AIDS-india/