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Raining here in NH. Trying to get my day started. Hubby and I were at odds last night so my head is not in a good place. I told him I did not need the rental today. He said he did not want to take it do to he was not on the contract. AND his luck is really bad right now. So I feel like the $300 we are spending is just for Abby and track practice. He will drive it locally at night but not to mass for work. I read over the contract it doesnt say no one else can drive it. See how inexperienced I am in this department.

But anyway I have to get my life in control. If you see me go missing for a few days give me a holler. I am trying to be accountable and get out of this rut. When I go quiet I am usaully in denial. The last 2 weeks I have been.

Goals today laundry, exercise, and organize my day.

NH... Mom to Abby Liz 10/94 Anne 7/99

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Denial over having my life in control and being on track. Just because one area of my life is going good another is suffering. I have to get that balance thing going.

NH... Mom to Abby Liz 10/94 Anne 7/99

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> Raining here in NH. Trying to get my day started. Hubby and I

were at odds

> last night so my head is not in a good place. I told him I did not

need the

> rental today. He said he did not want to take it do to he was not

on the

> contract. AND his luck is really bad right now. So I feel like

the $300 we

> are spending is just for Abby and track practice. He will drive it

locally at

> night but not to mass for work. I read over the contract it doesnt

say no

> one else can drive it. See how inexperienced I am in this

department.

How frustrating! I never think to look at that, either...don't beat

yourself up over it. I drove out of town (alone) a while back and my

car broke down...had to get a rental. Same deal. And I got suckered

into all kinds of excess fees " just to be safe " . *shrugs* You live,

you learn.

> But anyway I have to get my life in control. If you see me go

missing for a

> few days give me a holler. I am trying to be accountable and get

out of

> this rut. When I go quiet I am usaully in denial. The last 2

weeks I have

> been.

Denial over what?

> Goals today laundry, exercise, and organize my day.

Hope you reach all your goals today! Let us know how it goes!

-Bonnie

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  • 3 weeks later...
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> I have gained the last few weeks. Even though I have been doing

walking I

> have not been focused at all.

That's understandable, --you're under major stress! Don't beat

yourself up over it, just see the situation for what it is and move

on. I know you can do it!

>I think I may need therapy but cant afford it

> so you guys are now appointed my therapist. LOL

*lol* Isn't that what this group is for? I feel like I rely on you

gals a lot...especially when I'm down. So we're here :)

> I have done nothing positive for me or my well being. So gotta dust

off the

> water bottle, journal, and move my ass in gear.

Lately I've been having a more difficult time climbing back onto the

horse after my day 'off', so I've started a new system. First, I stay

'on plan' pretty strict for 5-10 days, then I get a day 'off'. On my

journal page for the day, I write the day of the week, the date, and

my exercise for the day. Then below that I write my daily calorie

goal and which day I'm at in terms of when my next day 'off' is (the

first day after a day 'off', I write " Day 1 of 8 " ). I started out

with 5-6 days on plan, now I average 8. I kind of look over the

calendar and try to give myself a day off when something big is

happening. My sister's birthday dinner, our Memorial Day cookout,

etc. Seems to be working. Now I know when a day off is coming and

just kind of worry about it when it gets nearer. :) The main thing is

that I still do portion control and all that on my days off, I just

don't obsess over every calorie...and I still exercise.

> To face the scale 235 OUCH OUCH OUCH... So 10% of that is 23 lbs.

So that

> is my first goal to get to 212. I will report later today.

Oh my gosh, I would SO love to see the 230's again. *laughs*

But I'm sorry that it wasn't a good weigh-in for you. I like the way

you're setting 10% goals--that's a great idea! You can do it!

-Bonnie

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> Today is a down day. My emotions all over the map. I have energy one

sec

> and than bam down to a snails pace.

Maybe you should give your doc a call. Possibly the blood pressure meds are

doing this to you and you need them tweaked a bit.

Sue in NJ

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