Re: Where is my game? from Darlitia

[Guest guest]

Get angry! That's what kept me fighting. V-Day arrived only at my

third attempt at war with these fuckers. Why did i fail the first 2

attempts? Wrong research! - i was reading into stuff that just doesn't

apply to my case ... long story short - buy this, buy that, do this,

do that! I wish i hadn't been there, getting mocked by derms who

practically told me that it's illogical for bird mites to enter my

home from the nearby trees, getting shoved by GPs who told me not to

worry, it's all in the head, phone calls after phone calls, letter

after letter trying to get civil representatives to do something about

the blasted trees and then have them drag me a full circle months

later telling me that they won't remove the trees because they are

protected by law! Getting tons and tons of worthless DIY fixes,

useless gdagets that don't do wash, chemicals, undiluted oils blah

blah blah. To hell with all that! Now i hate trees too!

Get pissed! Stand up and immediately identify where are the likely

places they will hide, bomb em with DE! Get out of your house, MOVE!

Make a plan, make it happen!

I am just as disadvantaged, now in a country which doesn't sell Borax

because it's " dangerous " , which doesn't have merchants who understand

anything, which doesn't stock full strength moth balls because some

dumb kid mistook it for candy and swallowed them! Want to know what's

worse? The aircon repair guy knows more about bird mites than the

bloody doctors! Unbelievable!

I used to be naive about nature, god's all good creation right? Now? I

could give a hoot, i will be atheist if that's what it takes to see

the truth of reality. I only know this, if you sleep near the wolves,

be prepared to have your young abducted in the night and torn to

pieces, that's nature. Respect it. The strong devours the weak.

You want to beat them? Get up now, make a plan and grab the bulls by

the horns. There's no such thing as impossible, just don't be misled.

Not possible means Not Yet, it also means you try to find an interim

solution before you can strike. Crawlies on you? Lint roll them off, 1

less means less eggs.

Push forward! Suicide? Forget it! I can understand if you wish to pull

the trigger to defend your honour, but not for something that tiny and

bully you in great numbers!

>

> Why am I so very beaten by this. Where is my game? Why can't I step

up to bat?

> All I feel is despair, where is my anger? I need to fight this, not

be a wuss about it.

> Because I ignored my fabric chair at work I just majorly re-infected

myself. I sat down in my chair and boom they were running off the

chair to me. I didn't even bother getting up. I am so beat by this.

They are all over me now crawling, crawling, crawling. I didn't even

bother getting up! My morning shower meant nothing.�I have got to find

my game and kick it up into high gear. Be totally OCD. So easy to say,

so hard to do. I went and got a plastic chair to sit in. Why did I

wait to get re-infected to think of that solution? Why can't I have

solution oriented thinking before hand? Instead of after the fact? Why

am I failing at this? I didn't choose not to suicide just so I could

live to fail. Crap...I am so screwed.

> Darlitia

>

[Guest guest]

To add:

Center yourself now and think, why would you want to prolong this

rubbish longer than you need to? If it takes for you to throw out

EVERYTHING, DO IT! If it takes for you to sleep in a room up to your

nostrils in DE, DO IT! If it takes for you to take on more jobs to pay

for a getaway, DO IT!

When you're considering an offensive against these bastards, make sure

what you are reading APPLIES to your case. I don't give a flying damn

what others say or believe, people can believe whatever the hell they

want, the question is this: You're holding the bag now and it's

killing you, so what is true about your situation and what is not? Get

that part right first before you take up arms and say NO MORE!

Be Strong, that's reality. Nobody will care more about you than you

care for yourself.

> >

> > Why am I so very beaten by this. Where is my game? Why can't I step

> up to bat?

> > All I feel is despair, where is my anger? I need to fight this, not

> be a wuss about it.

> > Because I ignored my fabric chair at work I just majorly re-infected

> myself. I sat down in my chair and boom they were running off the

> chair to me. I didn't even bother getting up. I am so beat by this.

> They are all over me now crawling, crawling, crawling. I didn't even

> bother getting up! My morning shower meant nothing.�I have got to find

> my game and kick it up into high gear. Be totally OCD. So easy to say,

> so hard to do. I went and got a plastic chair to sit in. Why did I

> wait to get re-infected to think of that solution? Why can't I have

> solution oriented thinking before hand? Instead of after the fact? Why

> am I failing at this? I didn't choose not to suicide just so I could

> live to fail. Crap...I am so screwed.

> > Darlitia

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Darlitia,We all make little mistakes in this war because of tiredness. Just keep fighting. Even if you are apathetic think of it as a way of life at that point. You can't muster anger if there is nothing to muster and trying to will only make it harder if your drained. But you must take care of your self no matter what you are feeling. So you don't care about your shower. Do it any way. Like when your depressed and you don't feel like eating but, you know you will need your strength so you eat the damn soup anyway. Many days I have felt this way. You just do it because if you don't they won't leave you alone. Do what needs to be done and if your heart isn't in it pretend its like passing algebra in school. J. From: Bohemia <dc.anon@...>Subject: Where is my game? from Darlitiabird mites Date: Monday, November 24, 2008, 12:57 PM

Why am I so very beaten by this. Where is my game? Why can't I step up to bat? All I feel is despair, where is my anger? I need to fight this, not be a wuss about it.

Because I ignored my fabric chair at work I just majorly re-infected myself. I sat down in my chair and boom they were running off the chair to me. I didn't even bother getting up. I am so beat by this. They are all over me now crawling, crawling, crawling. I didn't even bother getting up! My morning shower meant nothing. I have got to find my game and kick it up into high gear. Be totally OCD. So easy to say, so hard to do. I went and got a plastic chair to sit in. Why did I wait to get re-infected to think of that solution? Why can't I have solution oriented thinking before hand? Instead of after the fact? Why am I failing at this? I didn't choose not to suicide just so I could live to fail. Crap...I am so screwed.

Darlitia

[Guest guest]

Just wanted to say more. Although you are worn out now. Maybe there is away you may find to recuperate a little and then prepare for more. This is a long hard fight. It hurts and it sucks. You lose stuff. You

personal belongings your social life, time, sleep, sanity, lots of stuff. In

the end it doesn't matter. You may win by losing. Throw stuff out.

Spend funds on stuff you know from others works. Gut it and garbage

your cottons. If I remember correctly you are still in the environment

containing a source. If this is true you must move. You are wearing out

fighting these things and you won't be able to make a dent in the

environment they reside around if there is a source you can't remove.

When you move take very little with you. Don't make the mistake Rita

and I made.

I know finances are tuff in all this. Try to get a loan or what ever it

takes to get away from what is causing this. After you have moved fight

like hell. You can save money on bleach, apple cider vinegar, laundry

detergent, shampoo, conditioner, and some frozen foods at dollar

stores. You can get DE at around 15 bucks at many feed locations. Ortho

Home defense can be purchased for 7 bucks a huge container at home

depot. If you can apply for a Sears credit card. You can use it to buy

some new clothing, dehumidifires, and other suplies from K-mart. Save

money on laundry by baking stuff. I would hate to suggest debet, but in

this circumstance paying what you wrack up slowly as you fight this

seems to be the way to go to get out of hell.

Even after you have moved and noticed a drastic difference it will

still take more months to end the war. But the more you work on it the

more it will get better for you. Don't give up. We have all had these days of disrepair and drudgery. I pray that you can dig in. Get what ever you can

from where ever you can and hang in there. These are just stupid bugs. They mass produce and want food. You can do this sweetie. We are rotting for you Darlitia.

J. From: Bohemia <dc.anon@...>Subject: Where is my game? from Darlitiabird mites Date: Monday, November 24, 2008, 12:57 PM

Why am I so very beaten by this. Where is my game? Why can't I step up to bat? All I feel is despair, where is my anger? I need to fight this, not be a wuss about it.

Because I ignored my fabric chair at work I just majorly re-infected myself. I sat down in my chair and boom they were running off the chair to me. I didn't even bother getting up. I am so beat by this. They are all over me now crawling, crawling, crawling. I didn't even bother getting up! My morning shower meant nothing. I have got to find my game and kick it up into high gear. Be totally OCD. So easy to say, so hard to do. I went and got a plastic chair to sit in. Why did I wait to get re-infected to think of that solution? Why can't I have solution oriented thinking before hand? Instead of after the fact? Why am I failing at this? I didn't choose not to suicide just so I could live to fail. Crap...I am so screwed.

Darlitia

[Guest guest]

Jeannine, exactly! My other half says that i am blunt as a kraut when

it comes to problems - especially for problems as severe as this.

Taking a convenient back seat by pretending everything will be alright

if we can " slip " a little this and " gamble " a little that, or rewiring

our heads with the wrong facts, pushing ourselves EVEN more into

hopeless territory and then crossing our fingers, would always

inevitably end in defeat and another downward spiral that descends to

nowhere.

What are we dealing with is a vicious critter army that doesn't reason

like human beings do. That was my point about nature. We can pray, we

can immense ourselves among sufferers to find " support " and cold

comfort, or try out 1000 and 1 different strategies that may not even

be true for YOUR case, what damn good would all that do? It's not

going to make them go away.

Suicide is not taking responsibility nor trying to solve problems that

requires clear headed thinking and immediate action once war is

declared or even in cases as grey as these - the need to filter

rubbish that just WON'T work if the same scenario don't apply. I need

to make her see that.

I don't know if it applies in your case, but take caution when you are

out, once you get marked by their scent, you HAVE to get rid of the

stuff they WILL leave on your body. My own experience tells me that so

long as the markers are not removed, those in the environment will

pick it up and have you bring them home to complete another vicious

cycle. They are always out there, the question is how to make them not

" see " you.

Know your enemy and fight it wisely.

In any case, i hope V-Day is yours to declare too soon.

>

> > >

>

> > > Why am I so very beaten by this. Where is my game? Why can't I step

>

> > up to bat?

>

> > > All I feel is despair, where is my anger? I need to fight this, not

>

> > be a wuss about it.

>

> > > Because I ignored my fabric chair at work I just majorly re-infected

>

> > myself. I sat down in my chair and boom they were running off the

>

> > chair to me. I didn't even bother getting up. I am so beat by this.

>

> > They are all over me now crawling, crawling, crawling. I didn't even

>

> > bother getting up! My morning shower meant nothing.�I have got

to find

>

> > my game and kick it up into high gear. Be totally OCD. So easy to say,

>

> > so hard to do. I went and got a plastic chair to sit in. Why did I

>

> > wait to get re-infected to think of that solution? Why can't I have

>

> > solution oriented thinking before hand? Instead of after the fact? Why

>

> > am I failing at this? I didn't choose not to suicide just so I could

>

> > live to fail. Crap...I am so screwed.

>

> > > Darlitia

>

> > >

>

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Understood, i hope that Darlitia finds the strength to fight these

things with a battle standard equal to that of Joan of Arc. I

personally don't see how this war can be worn without being tough on

oneself and the environment around us.

The thought of what had transpired the last few months is pumping alot

of hot blood as we speak.

>

> >

>

> > > >

>

> >

>

> > > > Why am I so very beaten by this. Where is my game? Why can't I

step

>

> >

>

> > > up to bat?

>

> >

>

> > > > All I feel is despair, where is my anger? I need to fight

this, not

>

> >

>

> > > be a wuss about it.

>

> >

>

> > > > Because I ignored my fabric chair at work I just majorly

re-infected

>

> >

>

> > > myself. I sat down in my chair and boom they were running off the

>

> >

>

> > > chair to me. I didn't even bother getting up. I am so beat by this.

>

> >

>

> > > They are all over me now crawling, crawling, crawling. I didn't even

>

> >

>

> > > bother getting up! My morning shower meant nothing.�I have got

>

> to find

>

> >

>

> > > my game and kick it up into high gear. Be totally OCD. So easy

to say,

>

> >

>

> > > so hard to do. I went and got a plastic chair to sit in. Why did I

>

> >

>

> > > wait to get re-infected to think of that solution? Why can't I have

>

> >

>

> > > solution oriented thinking before hand? Instead of after the

fact? Why

>

> >

>

> > > am I failing at this? I didn't choose not to suicide just so I could

>

> >

>

> > > live to fail. Crap...I am so screwed.

>

> >

>

> > > > Darlitia

>

> >

>

> > > >

>

> >

>

> > >

>

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you all for your words and advice. Stan gave me a kick in the butt, Jeannine hit the nail on the head, and Frito tapped me on the shoulder and turned me in a differnet direction.

You all rock. I do have to work through my emoitons before I can pick up and run. I don't know why it is that way but it is.

This is a work in progress.

Love to you all,

Darlitia

P.S.

Stan I didn't mean to say I was suicidal. I meant to say at one point, early on, I was and I got past that, way past that. But I didn't live just so I can fail. That is what I meant to say.

[Guest guest]

WOW...STAN, AWESOME! > >> > Why am I so very beaten by this. Where is my game? Why can't I step> up to bat? > > All I feel is despair, where is my anger? I need to fight this, not> be a wuss about it.> > Because I ignored my fabric chair at work I just majorly re-infected> myself. I sat down in my chair and boom they were running off the> chair to me. I didn't even bother getting up. I am so beat by this.> They are all over me now crawling, crawling, crawling. I didn't even> bother getting up! My morning shower meant nothing.�I have got to find> my game and kick it up into high gear. Be totally OCD. So easy to say,> so hard to do. I went and got a plastic chair to sit in. Why did I> wait to get re-infected to think of that solution? Why can't I have> solution oriented thinking before hand? Instead of after the fact? Why> am I failing at this? I didn't choose not to suicide just so I could> live to fail. Crap...I am so screwed.> > Darlitia> >>

[Guest guest]

Hey RG, you always motivate me when I see you hit it hard. Today 10,

yes 10, contractor sized bags of cotton STUFF went out the door. The

mattress was double vinyl bagged, with DE all over the mattress in

both layers. Going to work on all the office files next, thinking of

putting all the stuff in bins (old peprwork) and spraying with

environmental essential oil, then DE when it dries.

bob

>

> > >

>

> > > Why am I so very beaten by this. Where is my game? Why can't I

step

>

> > up to bat?

>

> > > All I feel is despair, where is my anger? I need to fight this,

not

>

> > be a wuss about it.

>

> > > Because I ignored my fabric chair at work I just majorly re-

infected

>

> > myself. I sat down in my chair and boom they were running off the

>

> > chair to me. I didn't even bother getting up. I am so beat by

this.

>

> > They are all over me now crawling, crawling, crawling. I didn't

even

>

> > bother getting up! My morning shower meant nothing.�I have got

to find

>

> > my game and kick it up into high gear. Be totally OCD. So easy to

say,

>

> > so hard to do. I went and got a plastic chair to sit in. Why did I

>

> > wait to get re-infected to think of that solution? Why can't I

have

>

> > solution oriented thinking before hand? Instead of after the

fact? Why

>

> > am I failing at this? I didn't choose not to suicide just so I

could

>

> > live to fail. Crap...I am so screwed.

>

> > > Darlitia

>

> > >

>

> >

>